| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/14/2007 6:31:26 PM | For starters, maybe describe their wives!
Humans are visual creatures.
They like to look at beauty
They like to look at and dream about stuff they don't have
or wish they had!
I once heard, that a man will stare, but a woman will
take a quick (covert) snap shot for use later!  | |
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/17/2007 5:08:56 PM | I think there is a difference between looking, and vibing someone, then of course there is leering, which is what i would classify as pre-stalking.
anyway, the reason i was pissed was not because some guy looked at me. i am not some "feminist" that worries that some man is going to think of me as a sex object and feel degraded or some such nonsense. people look. i look, everyone is going to LOOK. however, not everyone is gong to VIBE someone like that.
i was angry because this jerk off was sitting there vibing me when his PREGNANT WIFE WAS WANDERING AROUND THE BREAD ISLE! and yes it also pisses me off when some guy trys to pick up on me while his date has run off to the rest room. yes, that pisses me off, not because i have some hang up about someone looking at me, but because it is hard to stomach people that are so completely lacking in morals, respect for other people, and just simple common decency.
part of being adult is that you don't have to act on every single impulse that comes along.
lar | |
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/17/2007 5:15:01 PM | NOW LARA
did you ask this guy if he was in fact.....with is wife?
Could it have beena relitive? his married sister perhaps? a neighbour? What makes you ASSUME..that it was his wife?...
I swear!!..some people just look around trying to find something to go off about.
If someone looks at you...take it as a compliment and leave it at that..
or you can make a funny face back at him and I am sure he wont look at you after that | |
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eman07
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 31 | |
| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/18/2007 11:29:44 AM | ok.....curiousity got to me......
lara....
I read your profile, the first sentence is "I am pretty"....now, maybe you are or maybe your n ot, dont have a picture to give you my opionion......
BUT....I can tell from that statement alone that you think of your self in high regard (nothing wrong with that by the way). I also feel that every guy is looking at you in some creepy manner, cause you feel like you are above other people. Again, nothing wrong with that, but if you think you are "pretty", and think you get "vibed", isnt that what you are looking for? You said it...."i am pretty".
again, if the guy was with his pregnant wife, and his wife left for the bread isle, came over and tried to hit on you, ok, i get it, its disrespectful.
Just reading your profile and all the things that men "cant have"....it just reeks of "the perfect man"...i mean really.....no tattos, or mustaches?...jeez, you just eliminated half the male population.
I just feel if the guy was an attractive male that was your type, it wouldnt be THAT big of a deal. I do feel you would be the same drama queen you are now, i just dont think it would be such a big issue as it is now.
also the statment of
"cmon guys why do you do this?".......i can tell you have this happen to you alot, (or think you do)...so i can tell its a sore spot with you. I just think you overdramitize it a little bit to make it sound better in your favor......just be a little more laid back....take it as a complement....or maybe check your nose for some boogers hanging out or something.... | |
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/18/2007 12:00:43 PM | Looking at people is normal, natural and fun.
Even if I'm out with my wife, we both look at people. And we actually talk about that too.
Why?.. it's just fun. It's not that we are looking for another opportunity or anything sexually related at all. It's not insulting either to any of us.
On the other side... wouldn't you be worried is everyone was avoiding to look at you?
Don't you think something was wrong then?
As long as you're secure of yourself and whoever your with it's all ok.
Jealousy, mistrust or any of that kind of feelings you may have will trigger the getting hurt or getting angry response in your partner or company. You already have a problem then, the looking at someone else only aggravates that problem, but it's not the main cause of that problem. | |
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/18/2007 12:10:44 PM | | Did you know that women also look at other men and also check their man out (that's how they notice the shoes and whatever else below the eyes) without their eyes giving them way because they have better peripheral vision than men? | |
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/18/2007 3:27:09 PM | Just because someone is married, doesnt mean that they are forbidden to check out the opposite sex,( I spose that depends on the possessive level of the relationship).
Damn I do it all the time, as does my wonderful husband. Infact I pick out the cuties for my husband. I would rather he did it around me than think he was upsetting me by doing it on the sly.
Life goes on. The fact someone is checking you out should be a compliment to you. I loathe possessive people. Life is too damn short for headgames.
We are all visual creatures, do you not smile at a baby? Do you not smile at a cute animal? Same same with checking out the opposite sex regardless of wedding ring or lack there of.
All you need to do, is smile your sweetest little smile, and do your business. Walk away with the satisfaction that you are appreciated by someone albeit fleetingly. Why knows you may be the subject of their fantasies that night....lol
My 2 cents worth anyways
Hugz 
Lee
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/18/2007 4:29:51 PM | I've had married women flirt with me at work - what's the difference?
You should count your blessings, there will come a time when no man will look at you. Short men and fat / ugly / old girls - try walking a mile in their shoes. | |
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/18/2007 5:26:41 PM | old schoolqueen~
there is a difference between looking and vibing. of course we all look, but it needs to be done respectfully. if i am out on a date with a man and i see someone i find attractive i am going to look, but i am going to be respectful enough to my date to do it so he doesn't see. and most importantly, i am not going to try to pick up on some other guy when i am on a date! really, it's my own integrity.
where does it cross the line though? when does looking become vibing? when does it become disrespectful? when does it hurt another person's feelings?
there have been many many times where i have been out with friends and have had men actually try to pick me up while thier date was in the bathroom. the guy would be staring at my friends and i. his date would get up and leave, and then the guy would walk over and say, "... umm, i saw you, and i wanted to give you my number... i'd really like to take you out some time...etc." this is just one example. i think this is really disrespectful. i would never date a man that treated another person in this manner. come on, would you?
i have seen a lot of this behaviour while out and about in los angeles and also new york over the years. i have seen women walk right up to a guy right in front of his date and try to pick him up. i saw this go on A LOT. now, i have heard from male friends that they get more attention from women when they have another woman on thier arm. while this may be true for some women it isn't true here. the most unattractive feature in a man is another woman.
people in general have become pretty shameless and terribly ruthless in the dating scene. me, just want to be a good person and would never want to encourage or be an accessory to someone elses lack of consideration for another human being.
lar | |
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/18/2007 5:31:52 PM | i have heard from male friends that they get more attention from women when they have another woman on thier arm.
This is completely true IMO.
http://www.cosmosmagazine.com/node/976
Yup. Going to flirt with female friends from now on to see what happens.
I don't understand why, but it's really irritating. The wedding band phenomenon also seems to work wonders. | |
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/18/2007 5:32:12 PM | terminally cute,
it was obvious that this was his wife. i was one line over and could heer some of the conversation which centered around who was going to pick up one of the kids the next day. etc.
that's why it bothered me. sorry, it bothers me when i see someone else being treated so poorly.
lar | |
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/18/2007 5:37:10 PM | In my opinion its because they are visual and have no respect for their wives feelings. I was married to one like this but he was obsessively jealous, since we have separated he hates me dating. Maybe its one rule for some " alpha males" and one rule for seemingly " subservient" women? Some men are like male primates so I say  to them | |
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/19/2007 5:13:11 PM | jerry in tampa~
lol! it would be tacky anyway...because while sneaking behind someone's back does demonstrate some semblence of umm... tact?... it also demonstrates one's awareness of doing wrong...otherwise, why the need to hide it..so, hence we're right back to "tacky," aren't we?
lar | |
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/19/2007 7:32:34 PM | I feel that I have to explain why men tend to look at other women when out with their wives...
There's a couple reasons really,
1) They're looking at you and wondering that if they controlled the universe, they would exchange their wife with you for the night and see just what you got...I know, I know...men are pigs, blah blah blah...
2) They're not actually staring at you with lust in their eyes...you just happen to be in the way of their blank stare...you see after so many minutes (yes, minutes) of shopping with wives, men tend to glaze over and go into what I call a "waking trance". You see, we don't give a shit about decorative crap or show pillows or any of that...what you are witnessing is what's left after the wife has finished devouring the man's soul.
3) They are look at you out of pure jealousy. "She's here by herself, why can't my wife be here by herself? Why do I have to be here? That woman can leave any time she wishes? Why can't I be her at this moment? Now that I think about it...hey...nice ass."
There you have it, the mind of the wife-shopping husband explained. | |
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/20/2007 1:18:26 AM | Have you ever considered that it's because you're very PRETTY?
Just a thought, my eyes aren't as good as they were when I was 16, but I can still recognize an attractive woman when she's more than 26 inches from me(that would be clear focus distance for me LOL). | |
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/20/2007 1:35:02 AM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Or maybe he's looking at you and comparing you to what he already has and you've come up lacking. Who knows what the guy was thinking other than he himself. If I am in a relationship with/dating someone and no one is "looking" at them,I might begin to question what I see in them physically too. I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder(or beerholder as the case may be), but I kinda' like other people thinking that the girl I'm with is desirable JMHO. | |
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/21/2007 7:41:28 PM | | Advice to myself for the future: A glance now and then is fine, but remember how lucky you are to be with the woman next to you..... Why advice for the "future?" Guess...... I have nobody to piss off..... I can't wait for the next woman I will never piss off.......much.....lol! | |
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/23/2007 4:22:31 PM | 1) They think she won't notice them looking
2) Things at home are BORING
3) They are idiots
This thread reminds me of something I saw just last week
I was in a business near closing time. The married guy is sitting facing the entry door, his wife is standing up talking to me about schedules. Another guy had his girlfriend there. After the introductions and small talk were over, the girlfriend headed for the door. I looked at the married guy and he was just flat out staring at her a$$! And the boyfriend was watching him do it! LOL. The wife was clueless, because she was talking to me. Who knows, maybe she knew it and chose to ignore it.
My father does this s#!t when we are eating at a restaraunt. Here I am with my teen daughters and he is just flat out ogling ever woman in the place. My sister has commented on this too. Anyhow...sad stuff.
I believe there are ways to discreetly glance over and then look away...ONCE!
OP- you are pretty enough to turn heads- be happy and let the guys worry about their wives! | |
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/25/2007 6:39:07 PM | bustafoxy~ & OP~
OP and i, and obviusly you as well, have had almost identical experiences on this. we seem to feel the same about it as well.
when i was younger i never thought about the feelings of the wife standing there watching her husband oggle me without any respect for her. i didn't think about it. i think i have become much more empathetic about such things.
iit is hurtful when men do that, and like you i feel so sorry for the women they are with having been there myself.
there are ways to look and be discreat... discretion = respect...
lar | |
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| Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives?
Posted: 1/25/2007 10:03:36 PM | If you get married again, I hope you don't keep your man in an opaque bubble. People who get married should understand their partners and have the confidence to know they want each other most. If you don't trust each other with that, then you probably have other marital issues too.
And can you really look at yourself and say you don't like eye candy? | |
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