| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/14/2007 2:03:19 PM | YES IT CAN!!!!!
I've found it can happen often from the first time you meet. It starts working on about the 3rd beer then just gets better and better. Be warned, this is just a temporary fix!!! hehe
Seriously though, i was never that attracted my x at the start of our relationship but she grew on me within a couple of months so if it can work for me why not anyone else! | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/14/2007 2:07:30 PM | Ok so if Physical attraction can grow. Then what do you look for in a man at first. Is it not physical? I mean there has to be that first wow factor or I like factor what is it if it is not that your phyically attracted to someone?
I look for a man that is confident, intelligent, has a sense of humour, & treats me with respect.
A big thing for me is a mans eyes, they are windows to the soul (as cliche as that may sound). I've been known to wave the white flag to a man with the ability to tell me how he's feeling about me with one look into them. *sigh* | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/14/2007 2:28:54 PM | I think it can grow "STRONGER" but I think you still have to have that initial attraction of "wow" or "hmmmmmmmm"
In fact I think if it doesn't grow stronger you may have a problem, love continues to grow in all ways when you find that perfect fit and the attraction would grow more I think because of all the other qualities..........JMHO | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/14/2007 2:32:28 PM | | Yes it can. For me it can work both ways. Number 1 I might be physically attracted to someone and then if their personality sucks their appearence changes for me. Number 2 I have been in relationships where when I first knew the person I was not not not attracted at all and then after getting to know them it changed. | |
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hca777
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Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 30 | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/14/2007 5:39:29 PM | | I'll probably be forever tagged as shallow, but I'm honest and I'd have to say no. Physical attraction is what people notice before anything else. If I don't find someone physically attractive on first meeting, I'm not likely to change my mind. He's gotta have a face I can look at in the morning and vice versa. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/14/2007 5:54:03 PM | | For me, I look first at the "must haves".. .is he a Christian, is he a nonsmoker? So far, so good (not being those things would even eliminate Orlando Bloom whom I find absolutely gorgeous!). Then I look to see what he says in his profile... can he write well, are the spelling and grammar correct (I'll allow for a typo or two as I make them as well). If what he says makes him sound nice, funny, intelligent, then I check his interests. Do we have at least some common ground? Is he really into anything that I really hate? Lastly, I'll check his pic. Yes, you can get this far and still get rejected because of your pic (women are visual as well) but if he's decent looking, I would be willing to give it a try. Like a previous poster said, if there's at least a small seed of potential attraction, it can definitely grow. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/14/2007 5:59:52 PM | | I can't agree more, diit. I feel the same way. What is inside someone can really make the difference about attraction. Don't always judge a book by its cover, you may miss out on something wonderful. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/14/2007 6:16:35 PM | | Yes physical attraction can grow.The expression "love is blind" speaks to this truth.But there are limits to this principle.Someone who looks sort of average can appear amazingly attractive if their personality happens to be stellar.likewise there are countless examples of beautiful women being so high on themselves that they might as well go and roll around in something foul smelling near the high tide mark.Ugly is ugly and may require surgery,for everyone else ,there is hope! | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/14/2007 11:45:09 PM | Well, its been my experience that not only can it grow, it can die. I have met men that i found very physically attractive, until they opened their mouths and their arrogance, stupdity or ignorance showed,and all of a sudden, their eyes werent as awesome as i'd thought, and their nose was just a bit too big and the mole on their face grew bigger etc etc....
On the other side of things, I have met men who I didn't find at all physically attractive, until they talked about interesting things, made me laugh, showed sensitivity and honesty, and all of a sudden, their eyes were awesome, and their nose didnt look big at all, and the mole on their face all but disappeared etc etc....in short, yes it can grow | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/14/2007 11:51:50 PM | | I think that typically no, it cant grow. Its only done it once for me and that was years and years ago. `I cant kiss someone I'm not physically attracted to... that simple. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2007 7:16:40 AM | I think the answer is yes. I know many people who went out with the opposite sex as a "favor" to another friend (blind date) and after the first date told me that the guy/gal is not what they were looking for physically.
My ex-best friend loved thin, dark sicilian men (she's Sicilian too). She met a pale, very big (very muscular) Polish man with blonde hair (she hates blonde hair) who was not that polite. But 5 years later, they married and have been together 4 since then with no issues. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 6:46:55 AM | I believe so, to a certain extent... If you allow it to.
I have heard from people that I haven't been attracted to in the slightest but have replied anyway because what they have said have sparked interest, so we have talked and their knowledge, wit, personality and shared interest with me have kept me hooked more than any handsome face/body ever would! | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 7:04:22 AM | yes, sometimes...
sometimes a person might not appear immediately physically attractive, but after spending time with them their personality and character can make their attractiveness grow immensely
(and the opposite is true too, of course - sometimes someone who at first glance appears very appealing, is revealed to be quite ugly by the way they behave...)
and sometimes the two combine - immediate attraction that grows over time, which is always the 'neatest', probably :) | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 7:09:18 AM | I really dont know - I've been separated for about 15 months after a 29 year relationship - I was instantly attracted the first time I saw him - then last August I was home for a visit - not looking for romance or anything - didnt think I was ready - when I was in a bar and this guy smiled at me - well - I smiled back an we ended up in a casino talking to 6am - we have met a few times here and back home but like someone said earlier - we never see each other cause we live too far apart - its sad cause i was in the zone where I really thought I would never have another relationship and well - it has given me some confidence but I really dont see it happening again - but who knows? We still chat on the phone but realise a relationship wont work. Now after writing this I see that I do expect to be instantly attracted - but for me it would be a genuine smile - I think thats a good start!
sorry for rambling
Wombat | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 8:51:40 AM | I've never found that to be the case. If I can't picture myself naked with them soon after meeting them, that's not ever going to change. For me, its either there at the beginning or it isn't.
HR  | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 8:52:54 AM | Personality has everything to do with attraction....in my opinion ...I have met men that I thought were not good looking and then after getting to know them for the person they were instead of just the outside they became alot more attractive...so I definitely believe its possible... | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 9:01:05 AM | Of course it can.. Hold it gently and kiss me then watch it grow!
The more I learn about a person will change how attractive they are! It works in both directions. She can as beautiful as they come, but can become ugly the more I learn about her!
Beauty is only skin deep and some are born inside out! | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 10:04:11 AM | | For me, physical attraction can't grow over the time. But the overall appeal / interest level certainly can. I have met some average looking women who I gradually became more interested in after spending some time talking to them. They were intelligent, had good personalities, shared some common interests and values etc. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 10:10:55 AM | It can, if there's at least SOMETHING there, even on the smallest level. Aside from that there must be mutual liking each other's personalities, and a degree of admiration for one another.
The looks get familiar over time, and you become 'used' to the other person.
As long as there isn't some isolated physical trait that is continually irritating (I had this friend whose nose was simply badly, weirdly shaped, and it made it hard to look at him because I couldn't help disliking his nose. Weird, but sadly true.)
Mind you, it wasn't the only reason overall ~ there were character incompatibilities that surfaced regardless ~ but it contributed to my lack of attraction or ability to picture us together .. shallow, perhaps. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 10:39:24 AM |
I can't speak for all women, but for me, yes it can grow. For me, if a man meets a minimal threshold of attractiveness (for me, not hot, but doesn't hurt my eyes to look at him, his appearance is in the ok-acceptable range).... he can actually become more attractive to me based on his character, sense of humor, reliability-- the things about the inside of him. If those things are present, then the outside of him can actually become more attractive to me.
Similarly, a totally HOT man, can become physically repulsive based on his bad behavior.
Definitely agree with everything you said. It has happened to me before as well where initially i was not attracted to her physically, though she wasn't ugly..but over time i realised that she had the best personality of all the girls i had dated, and so i became more and more attracted to her physically because of how she was from the inside. So yes, for me it definitely can grow | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 11:01:43 AM | Definitely agree with everything you said. It has happened to me before as well where initially i was not attracted to her physically, though she wasn't ugly..but over time i realised that she had the best personality of all the girls i had dated, and so i became more and more attracted to her physically because of how she was from the inside. So yes, for me it definitely can grow
Seaga: That's really nice! Wish there were more people out there who also thought this way.
As a person who recently lost a lot of weight, I had to laugh at a guy who "suddenly" found me attractive. He knew of me before & after my weight loss so I asked him: "I'm the same person I was several pounds ago, so why the "sudden attraction"?
He was at a loss for words (of course!)
I mean, it's one thing to know a person & appreciate them for who they are, regardless and it's quite another to make assumptions & judgements based solely on physical appearances. True good-hearted people treat others equally. | |
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bsg789
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Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 49 | |
| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 11:16:08 AM |
As a person who recently lost a lot of weight, I had to laugh at a guy who "suddenly" found me attractive. He knew of me before & after my weight loss so I asked him: "I'm the same person I was several pounds ago, so why the "sudden attraction"?
I don't think someone is exactly the same person whenever they gain or lose a lot of weight. Looks / Physical appearance is a part of who we are. When someone gains or loses 50-100 lbs, they often look much different. Maybe he is physically attracted to your current body type and not physically attracted to your old body type. However I do think it's rude to be a complete jerk to a fat person. Then be polite to him/ her after he/she loses a large amount of weight. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 11:35:51 AM | | Yes. A man can become more handsome to me if he is kind and sweet and gentle towards me. | |
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