| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 11:52:35 AM | It happened to me too. I know my last girlfriend for some ten years. When I met her, she was telling me that she valued me as a friend, but she is not attracted to me. I did not give a thought about her opinion, because I was pursuing other relationship at the time.
A few years down the road, she fell in love with me and almost married me... | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 1:15:10 PM | I don't think someone is exactly the same person whenever they gain or lose a lot of weight. Looks / Physical appearance is a part of who we are. When someone gains or loses 50-100 lbs, they often look much different. Maybe he is physically attracted to your current body type and not physically attracted to your old body type. However I do think it's rude to be a complete jerk to a fat person. Then be polite to him/ her after he/she loses a large amount of weight.
I agree. I think there is a difference between becoming more physically attracted to a person after their apperance changes ( weight, hairstyle etc ) vs becoming more polite or rude. Body type / physical appearance should have nothing to do with how well you treat other people. But it certainly can affect the level of physical attraction. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 1:16:30 PM | You should know that the law of attraction is based on physical attraction , there is no other law , to get together with someone for lesser reasons it is obvious it will never work .
I have been in that situation for 10 years , tell you a short story ,met a woman who then fell pregnant ,didnt want an abortion , and 10 years later i have 2 gorgeous female twins.
For 10 years we have been together and it has had its ups and downs ,the only reason i stayed was due to the emotional attraction and that i can say honestly its has screwed me up .
We have finally seperated , because physical attraction will always outlaw emotional attraction .
If you arent attracted to that person , I believe it will never work out in the end ,as you'll always be looking over your shoulder at the next person you are attracted too , and if this physical attraction isnt mutual in your relationship , this can lead to cheating,affairs which is something most people find hardto deal with .
At least in the end for YOU the relationship only lasted 6 months , at least she wasnt telling you this 5 years down the track .
Time for you mate to find someone who does find you attractive . | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 1:42:32 PM | Physical attraction is not a fungus so no it wont grow on ya:)
Only speaking for myself, physical attraction is there or no... If its not there immediately *woot*, and I do mean immediately, it's not going to happen..
It's chemistry:
Either sparks will fly or you will hear *crickets*
It's pretty much innate.. I can will myself to be attracted to a person but as much as I try, my mind wont allow me to fool myself..
That's why they invented platonic friends:)
vvvvv Amen, DJ Chickie:) ^5 | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 1:47:06 PM | ^^I'm with Sepia - if attraction's not there in the first couple minutes, it's not ever happening. If it is there it may grow stronger over time, but if it's not it will go nowhere.
I have tried to date men before that I knew were good for me hoping things would change and I would eventually develop attraction, but to no avail. It's just not the way I am wired. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 1:53:04 PM | | Yes, physical attraction can grow. It has for me in the past and it could again in the future. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 2:32:13 PM | I think if someone sees you with mixed-results in terms of physical looks, I think it can. However, if such thoughts are had, I wouldn't get knee-deep in romance with a girl where I thought that, because by the time you're involved, and you aren't solidly attracted to them physically -- get out!
Also, I think if you're with a girl and she passes your "looks test", when a relationship develops, her looks can get better to you, because overall she's more attractive.
When it comes to a girl in your situation, it may have been that she would feel guilty by not "giving it a chance", ya know? To her, you weren't UGLY. You seemed good on paper and gave her attention. That happens to some guys. Learn to sense that probability for future adventures. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 2:39:24 PM | I think we all have to have some level of attraction. There are those of us who are stupid and think that if we meet someone and we don't want to jump their bones at the word hi then there is not attraction. People like that need to grow up and get rid of the high school mentality. Or continue to wonder why they can't find a good man or if there are any good men left and blah blah blah.
I don't care what we say...but if a person is just not down right U.G.L.Y to us then we all have some kind of attraction...just the question is...do we have enough attraction or do we want to admit that we have an attraction because they might not be the ideal beauty of what we usually date or what other people see us date.
A lot of us worry about how we look when we are out. We also worry about how the person we are with looks. So most of us are dating people who are eye pleasing to others...although their personality sucks azz! And at least on the outside...it makes us feel much better...
Hey but then again..these are just my thoughts...i am an ugly mofo so I don't care! It is soo much easier to be ugly! | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/15/2009 6:05:03 PM | I think it depends on how you are wired. I have dated guys wherein I was attracted to other things about them rather than their looks. i.e. personality, confidence etc. Also, I am attracted to how a man carries himself or that "swagger" as they call it nowadays. For me, the sum of all parts make a whole. So if a man has a lot of the characteristics that I value, then as my feeling for him grow, my physical attraction for him grows also.
Vash | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/16/2009 2:29:29 AM | bigfinger08, you said:
You should know that the law of attraction is based on physical attraction , there is no other law , to get together with someone for lesser reasons it is obvious it will never work .
I have been in that situation for 10 years , tell you a short story ,met a woman who then fell pregnant ,didnt want an abortion , and 10 years later i have 2 gorgeous female twins.
You went on to say:
We have finally seperated , because physical attraction will always outlaw emotional attraction .
Do you normally have sex with people you are not attracted to? Or, are these twins not yours? OR, did she get older and fatter so you were no longer attracted? I don't understand...your profile says you don't have children. You seem to be a walking contradiction.......perhaps I misread everything...... | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/16/2009 4:50:46 AM |
There are those of us who are stupid and think that if we meet someone and we don't want to jump their bones at the word hi then there is not attraction. People like that need to grow up and get rid of the high school mentality. Or continue to wonder why they can't find a good man or if there are any good men left and blah blah blah.
I don't complain about there being no good men, so maybe that's part of it, but what's wrong with wanting to jump someone's bones in the first few minutes? That's attraction and for me it's a requirement to move further with someone. I won't date someone I don't ever want to sleep with, and if I don't in the first 10 minutes I never will...
Call it a high school mentality if you want to, but at least in high school it was cut and dry, people try to analyze it too much these days, and there's really no more to it than there used to be.
Either it grows for you or it doesn't. The catch is knowing which one you are, and working with it. Period. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/16/2009 12:36:53 PM | | Yes it definitly can. Most of the time when I am attracted to someone strongly, its after getting to know their charming personality. As they start to impress me more with their humor, compassion, wit, and all that other good stuff, I get to that point of being mesmerized. Look at Adam Sandler. Not attractive in the conventional sense, but I can see how a lot of ladies think he is attractive from his persona. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/16/2009 12:48:42 PM | | You've got an excellant point here. I was never initially attracted to my ex, but he grew on me or rather pestered the hell out of me and I fell for his charm. We run in the same circles to this day and have a daughter together so it is great not to have any sexual tension there since he is not attractive to me. It is also great that he isn't "all that" because I never get accused of not being over my ex when new boyfriends have met him, lol. They don't feel threatened. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/16/2009 5:15:39 PM | | Yes, it can grow if you meet someone who has an interesting personality. But I do think it depends how unattracted you feel in the first place. If you really do not like the look of someone, then it would be hard to get over that even if they are really nice. I'm thinking more where you feel fairly neutral about them or they are not your type but still have some appeal. I've definitely known attraction grow the more I've got to know someone. The thing is, one has to have the opportunity to spend time with the person for this to happen and that's where dating sites fall down. We don't usually choose to go out with someone we find unattractive but if we met them incidentally in a social setting and got to know them, they might start to appeal to us. Another downside to dating sites is that people's photos don't always reflect how attractive they are in real life: it does tend to depend on how photogenic you are. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/17/2009 1:04:51 AM | | Physical attraction might grow in time. Once you get to know each other, personality comes forward and either it pushes your partner away or makes him / her feel more attracted to you. You start to find out the things about your partner that you've never recognized before. And that's called emotional attraction. It is the feeling that boosts physical attraction and makes us go forward or step back. Once you're emotionally connected with someone, you'll feel more attracted physically than before. If there's only physical attraction, probably what you have will end sooner or later once you or your partner meet someone who is physically more attractive. If you have both and things are going well, there's a chance for it to turn into love as long as one of the sides don't screw up. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/17/2009 4:46:21 AM | | I think you can become more physically attracted to a person as time goes by.... but there has to be something from the beginning. Chemistry is in the mind to begin with... perhaps she enjoyed being with you in the beginning- not enough details on your part here to say - but if there is not something - a mind thing, or a physical thing... it will not happen. As for me.... I know from the first if there is "something"... and would never go out with anyone more than once if there wasn't to see if something would develop. I think - harsh as it may sound - she used you as a "temporary prop to occupy [her] time". | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/17/2009 6:55:32 AM | | Physical attraction can def grow. Whether folks want to acknowledge it or not, what's "on the inside" really does matter most. We've seen/heard/read about the totally hot babe that had nothing going on upstairs therefore instantly becoming a turn-off. That is because compatibility has little to do with one's physical appearance. Sure everyone has their own idea of what's/who's attractive (myself included) and who doesn't like a fine looking individual but, that's not everything. I say don't limit yourself solely because you're not completely physically attracted to a person. Give them a shot and if you find after communicating you're still not interested, move on. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/17/2009 2:30:13 PM | | Maybe it can for some people but definitely not for me. I've dated men who I wasn't attracted to for months, even years hoping the physical attraction would grow and it never did. I ended up wasting my time and theirs. I did make a good friend out of it though. They just didn't do it for me sexually/physically. However, I do think physical attraction can fade over time if you don't connect on a emotional/intellectual level. All of the men I dated who I once considered hot/good looking do nothing for me now because the chemistry was weak, I was hurt, or I was bored to tears. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/17/2009 4:28:52 PM | | There has to be chemistry which is not the same thing as phsyical attraction. Sorry to hear that she should have just said she wanted to be friends. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/17/2009 6:34:49 PM | | I think it isn't physical attraction growing, it's a mental/intellectual attraction and eventually love that makes it less important. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/17/2009 11:41:06 PM | | yes I believe it can, and does. But like others have said, you have to find them attractive to begin with. But their attractivness definitely goes up the more you are into them, even if their body stays the exact same. Must be emotional/mental. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/18/2009 5:16:44 AM | | In general, for men no. Never seen it happen. In general for women, yes, I have seen it happen. | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/18/2009 5:33:04 AM | | I totally agree. Attractiveness to me is about who you are as a person. The totally hot man can be repulsive as soon as he speaks. I am not an attractive woman but I think men have grown to like me and found me attractive in the past | |
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| Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/19/2009 9:29:06 AM | Can Physical Attraction Grow? my opinion....yes it can. isnt it about their traits and character that grows on us? its the little things about them we fall inlove with, could be their laugh, the smile, their eyes, the way they look at us or how they care for us when we are sick, their presence, and more but most important one is...how they treat us. if hes doing sweet nice things for me, and does it because he wants too....then hes got my brownie points. its the little things in life thats important and its to bad many have forgotten this. I may not be a barbie and I might not act or speak appropiately for others, I maybe opinionated as some dont like, i might toot.. and more but hey...thats me and I'm not perfect ...so what...some need to take a good look in the mirror and get over themselves because theyre far from being perfect themselves. what counts is how i feel about myself and i love who I am...a good woman with morals and values whos caring, loving and kind...with a heart of gold and knows what she wants.
@goodguy...so with all this said, who cares about about, shes only one, find another who will adore you for who you are and make you feel good over all and not for what you can be for her....and that goes the same for men.
quote: "dont be someones everything when your only considered and option to them" | |
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