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| What Makes a good Profile verses a bad one.
Posted: 5/17/2005 3:56:49 AM | Ok, I'll let ya in on a few tips about profiles.
First, it would really help you (and me) out tremendously if you looked at other profiles not to mention two really good threads where they actually review your profile and give ya some suggestions. One happens to be done by me, the other by Danceinpants! ha ha
You may very well pick up lots of helpful hints and suggestions.
Here is a good set criteria in which one should consider when putting together their profile
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Here goes.....
1) Your headline:
Please consider this: Your headline is designed to catch peoples attention.
None of this "Nice guy/gal seeks..." stuff or otherwise vague or general. Boring!! Get creative, get crazy! Have fun with it. Try to think of what would catch YOUR eye, to hold your attention enough for you to get to reading further of someones profile.
2) Pictures: A definite must have. I hate it, I really really do, but it is a must. Most (a generalization) people will not even bother with a profile unless there is a pic. Rude and Crude, I know. But it is as it is.
So getcha a picture or two and put it up in your profile. Be sure:
a) it is nothing with bad lighting,
b) a group picture or it is not a picture with more than one (YOU) in it,
c) Dont feature your kid, cars or pets.
d) Wouldn't kill ya to smile!
3) "Do you do Drugs?", this is a question asked in the profile. If you answer anything other than "Yes" or "No", people will automatically assume "Yes" and more than likely turn away and go to the next profile. It may not be so much you do drugs (which I suspect mostly would be pot... but thats my own suspicions) but its that you were holding back and or some may even equate it to lying. Not a good first impression to put forth.
Another question: "Marital Status", be truthful. What is the deal currently as you fill out your profile. If you are dating somebody, well? If you have been divorced for years and years... well? And if "separated", state such and then in your "about me" section, just briefly address how long ya been separated and when the divorce should be final.
4) "Dating Interests"
This, I think, is the one biggest boo boo most people make. This is where you really show your stuff or really fumble and make the person lose interest quickly!
What are you interested in? Its that simple really.
For example, Perhaps you like reading.
DONT PUT READING! Be more specific as "reading" is too friggin general. Anything so general and broad is open to interpretation and more than likely backfires on ya every time.
Example #2: let's say you actually put in there, "Movies".
Another general and very broad interest.
Think a moment, will ya? How many movies do you suppose has been made since turn of the century? Now of all those movies, how many different variations and genre do you think there are?
If you think about it, the different varieties are staggeringly high. Do you really like all of those differences and varieties? I am gonna bet "no". So be specific. You like horror over comedy? Maybe chick flicks versus guy movies of shoot-emn-up bang bang movies. Whatever the case, be specific. This is a very important key that may unlock your future happiness should you meet someone!
Generally, there are a few "industry standards" to avoid. Well, maybe not avoid, just be more specific.
TV/Movies
Dinner/cooking
Camping
Music
Reading/books
Computers
Always ask yourself, "what about 'em". Then fill it in some as to what you like about them, or what variety or what have you.
And my other tip is, be sure to have lots of things listed. 8 or 10 is what I would go with.
Why?
Its the shotgun theory, for those who hunt. You see, a shotgun shell has many tiny little pellets generally called "buckshot". When the gun is fired, these buckshot spread out as they fly through the air towards the target, ensuring larger coverage and thus, better chance at hitting something.
You are the gun. Your interests are the buckshot. And the more you list (and specify) of interests, the better chance you have of having something in common with someone else that will, thusly, create a hit! Then an e-mail is sent and before long, you are at the beginning of a nice relationship.
"About me"
This section is where you can tie in all in. This is THE place you want to express yourself as to who you are. What your attitude on life is like. Maybe expand some more on your interests too. The first sentence is the most important. Start it negative in any way, and it's a turn off for those you seek.
Tell about yourself, stay positive. Don't go referring to the exes or go on and on about what you do not want from a person or what you do not like. This is a bigas* turnoff and it can be best left for later, after the first contact e-mail.
Remain focused on yourself and what you want. End this section with who you seek. What kind of person. Again, stay away from the negatives of who you do NOT want and so forth. Stay positive!
And finally, the :First Date"
Ladies, turn away for a second, I gotta talk to 'da guys.
Dudes, guys and gents. Here's the deal. Whether we like it or hate it, this is where we can either seal the deal or seal our fate.
We HAVE to take charge here, and indicate what we would like to do on the first date. We have to take control, it is expected. None of this "maybe", or "might" stuff, no no. Don't be tentative. And don't write "whatever the lady would like". No no. Oh sure, sweet thought and nice gesture sure. But guys, let's have a contingency plan at the vert least. Because odds are she will be expecting you to take control and will invariably say "I don't know, what would you like to do?"
Save time and save face here brothers! Take control, make the call!
Just don't go writing "sex" or some BS like that. First date dudes! Let's keep it gentlemanly, ya know?
Ok ladies, you can read from here on.
Ladies, if i may take a second here. Ladies, We appreciate you writing in the "first date" section how you'd leave it up to us guys or maybe even ut "whatever" in this section but you know, it really helps us out a lot if you give us a clue what you might consider. You see, it would be dreadful for all involved if you were the type who expected a nice dinner and maybe some dancing, but we took you skydiving instead because all you said was "whatever he wants".
That may make for a bad first date especially for someone who is terrified of heights. ha ha.
So all I am saying here is help us out just a bit. Give us a direction in which to go. Clue us in on what you would really like to do on the first date. We'll take it from there, I think we'll be able to handle things from that point!
Ok, so there ya have it. My points and helpful hints. see, that wasn't too bad, eh? I did read your profile and believe me, a lot of these tips you should seriously consider!!
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| moundpuppy, too long, and 3/4 about yourself
Posted: 5/21/2005 5:59:59 AM | | Hey moundpuppy! I read your profile. Things like height should be in your opening paragraph, following your name since you've chosen to include it... as in, 'My name is Tony, I am 5'10" inches tall, currently bald by choice, although when I'm in the mood for hair I utterly love the feeling of the wind blowing through it. So 1) group your stats (name, height, etc.) together, then 2) give a SHORT description of your personality / likes / dislikes. And, finally 3) say what you are looking for in a person. In your profile, 3/4 of it is spent talking about yourself. Right away, this gives me the impression that you are more interested in "you" than you are in your potentential partner. Also, it kind of rambles!! When it comes to interests, you could take them out of the body and include them in the "interests" part. Make it a well organized profile! Also, if you are going to talk about yourself, relate it to how that impacts on your potential partner... For example, "while I wouldn't mind bungee jumping from a ceiling fan, I'd be scared s-itless to jump from a plane. So, if you're looking for someone to skydive with you, I'd be the wrong guy... although if you want to try to convince me to skydive with you, I'd be more than happy to do that over dinner sometime!! Relating your personal interests, hopes, etc., to the partner you're hoping to find make for an enticing profile. And keep it succinct... remember sometimes less is more! | |
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| moundpuppy, too long, and 3/4 about yourself
Posted: 5/24/2005 10:00:36 PM | hey green shoes.
I have been thinking on this and I wasn't going to respond but I started this and I felt I should reply here. First if you look at the profile it is in the section about me. I told about me. Now the part on my height was an add in after I had already written the other part and I just didn't feel like going back and rewriting it. I will say I am not a professional writer and don't have the urge to be one. I don't mind if someone says I didn't do it right that is fine. As far as the part of the plane that was thrown in as a joke. I am however afraid of height. I have never refused to do anything to try to overcome that fear. I use to walk the eyebrows on the side of building thirty five to forty five stories in the air. Now if you know what the eye brows are then you will know they are abour 18 inches wide. Now they also surround the entire building and are used to do service on the outside of the building. I would also climb a nine foot ladder on the eyebrow to drill to hang shutters over windows. Never once in my life have I used a safety rope or strap. I will say this and I have said it in other threads as well. I didn't come to the site for a woman. I came to make friends and for the forums. I wanted to use more than one listing as far as friends, talking/email, short term, long term, ect. It would not let this be done. I am not out to find a marriage partner but I am not against it either. The ceiling fan parachuting was just a joke only. as was the part about the chicken in the paper bag. Now you stated it rambles. Now so you know it was written just the way I wanted it to be. The original was about the length of about three type writtin pages. I did not want to use all of it. As far as what I am looking for in a woman that area is open to me. I am not picky on a woman. I placed in my profile what I am for a reason. I wanted people reading it to know me and what I am. I made no quams on it. It was in the area like I said where it ask about me. Now "I" like swimming, boating, dancing, and ect. "I" am emotional, blunt, spontanious, at times arrogant, and extremely honest, and ect. My point to this was it was all written in the portion of the profile where it asked "about me" what I did was tell about me. Now if this sounds like I am being arrogant and self centered then I am sorry. It is not meant to be that way. I am explaining what and why it was written the way it was. I know what you said was meant as a response to what I had written and that was fine. I just felt that I had to reply to what I had written and to explain why it was the way it was. I did not want to write it to try to use it to attract and seek a conquest as a notch in my belt. I wanted to let everyone reading it, to know me as me.
Moundpuppy | |
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| moundpuppy, too long, and 3/4 about yourself
Posted: 5/26/2005 6:48:44 PM | Hey MOUNDPUPPY
Just checked out your last comment and your profile. I wish more men wrote as much about themselves as you did!
PS as I lived in SC for a while, (and sometimes wish I was back there!)
I must say:
You are not HOT
You're BOILING! | |
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| moundpuppy, too long, and 3/4 about yourself
Posted: 5/27/2005 8:20:54 PM | moundpuppy, you said the following in message 16
If you feel comfortable with what you have written then I say go for it. If you feel that there is more to be added then rework it and try to improve it.
I do believe you answered your own question.  | |
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| moundpuppy, too long, and 3/4 about yourself
Posted: 5/27/2005 8:27:16 PM | i know mommy I usually rework mine several times and try to improve it. I just happen to like what I have at the moment and a lot of people have agreed with me. Not everyone and I expect that.
Mound | |
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| What Makes a good Profile verses a bad one.
Posted: 7/11/2005 10:34:42 PM | keep them light but honest.
give a bit about yourself, but not too much
personality over likes/dislikes for me anyway, i can learn about the rest later | |
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| What Makes a good Profile verses a bad one.
Posted: 7/12/2005 12:36:17 PM | | I have to diagree with the comment that if someone posts a picture that automatically disqualifys them from being dangerous because it would be very easy to post someone elses picture if they wanted to. I think u have to be careful no matter who u talk to on the internet even if they are a business. I have talked to alot of my friends online that I have met thru a personals site for over a year b4 I even talk to them on the phone. Maybe I just havent been impressed enough by the right man to care if I lose them over disinterest by talking only online or only in emails but I cant be too careful when it comes to disclosing my phone number or my address, I have children at home and not only am I trying to keep them safe but trying to set a good example for a teenage daughter. It impresses me for a man to understand and respect that!! | |
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| What Makes a good Profile verses a bad one.
Posted: 7/12/2005 1:22:59 PM | I have to agree with you for I never even thought of the personals sites until I caught someone using my photo on one and then I made them remove the photo. I then made it a point to go to all the sites I could and placed my photo and a profile of mine. The one I have placed here at POF is the rewrite to the original. the person told me it had been a mistake on the photo but i had my doubts since I am very sure as to what I place anywhere online. I usually like to give my number and ask a lady to call me instead of me calling her. This is because I am single and I am not worried about someone knowing my number or my address since I have something at home that is better than me to defend it. His name is Bear and he is very vicious if it is not me or two other people coming in the door. But if I had kids heck no I would not give my address or number out with out being sure. I will say this if you see the photo that is with moundpuppy here andyou see another moundpuppy that has not got the same photo then there is something wrong. I have been the only moundpuppy that I have ever seen online as to this date. For a long time I was the only BlindWolf as well. and I do use that nick at some sites. A mother can never be to safe when it comes to kids. and I do commend you on your being extra safe in that area. 
Moundpuppy | |
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| What Makes a good Profile verses a bad one.
Posted: 7/12/2005 2:22:11 PM | Moundpuppy, my personal opinion on what makes a truly good profile is that it isn't about what grammar, spelling, or pics you use - Instead it is whether you display your attitude towards the usage of the entire Plenty Of Fish network as a whole. Keep in mind, however, that the spelling, grammar, and pics SUPPLEMENT a good profile. Any pile of crap book can have the best spelling, and word and punctuation usage, in the world, but it's still a pile of crap.
If you look at my profile, it's rediculous - if I were trying to be serious, but it is appropriate because I am not serious about this website. To me, this is just something fun to do and not get too wrapped up in. (Although I am being sincere with this post!)
If you want serious results, heed the advice of using proper grammar, spelling, and post respectable pictures of yourself. Don't post a picture of a thing you like just to say you like it, post a picture of it because it shows a part of your life - after all you've only got eight pics or so, so make them count. You could think of it as a way to supplement the text portion of the profile by 8,000 more words. :)
Hope this helps.
Malabux.
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| What Makes a good Profile verses a bad one.
Posted: 8/9/2005 12:09:23 AM | holy crap? i didnt realise there were good and bad profiles. I thought they were all the same. I only hate those profiles where people write a **** load of crap! whos gonna read it all? and its annoying when people brag about themselves saying they r extremely hot and whatevers...thats the only 2 things that annoys me about some people's profiles | |
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| What Makes a good Profile verses a bad one.
Posted: 8/17/2005 12:49:57 PM | hiya mound...nice profile...although i'd prolly use that smilin pic fer tha main one.. course thas cuz i like grinnin an thangs tha make me grin........an it makes folks wonder what yer up to when ya grin alot
i just redid my profile...an i aint about ta tell somebody i am a sweet southern bell.......but i can be fun
good ta see ya brother mound, yer fish is out there workin on her appetite...when shes ready, she'll take yer bait! | |
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| What Makes a good Profile verses a bad one.
Posted: 8/17/2005 2:01:25 PM | Bad profiles (these are not actual profiles):
(female)
Hi im new the internet dating thinkg and i am looking for a guy who is hoenst and luving. But not only interested in sex, it that is what he wants he can keep on looking. I am a magnmus person and always sacrificing myself for others and I am so honest and caring and I never lie. I am not a psycho **** and i don't like being called that and I don't like guys who play games like the ones who won't let me call them at work 12 times a day to make sure they aren't cheating on me.
On the 1 date i would ask to go to the red lobstr or the olive garden but my man betr be a gentleman and now how to treat a lady. I also like moonlit walks on the beech and buty i don't want to have any sex thou cuz I only do that with my boyfriend
(male)
I am very laid back and funny. I'm bery creative in the bedroom. I am looking for a blonde with some jugs who laughs at my jokes. I like dogs and pizzaz
On the first date if she is hot enough we will go to my apartment and watch DVDS but probably just get down to it if the mood is right.
END
I have seen many profiles that essentially are just that and nothing more (mine are a little comically exaggerated). Easy to steer away from. | |
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| What Makes a good Profile verses a bad one.
Posted: 9/20/2005 5:53:15 PM | Well, I'm going to use one of those lines from a 'bad' profile. I'm new to this, which I am. LOL Just signed up on Friday...4 days ago, and having a great time reading profiles and forums.
I know that I personally have sent messages to people after I have read their profile, not necessarily because I'm interested in making a 'connection', but because something caught my eye. Their profile made me chuckle; I had to comment because I saw a fellow smartass through what they had written; one guy I sent a message of congratulations because at 54, he'd just bought his first computer; another a message of encouragement in, like me, getting back into the whole dating and relationship after a 20+ year marriage.
Profiles catch our eye for many reasons and if anyone is truly using this avenue to find a friend/date/relationship/life mate, then they will take their time when they write their profile. They will try to show who they really are and if they don't it will show up in direct contact with others. They will also continue to edit and update their profile as they read other profiles and chat/email with those who have chosen to communicate with them. I would also hope, although from the profiles I've read I know it's not true, but I would hope that they would read what they have written before sending it out there. Cyberspace or in person....first impressions leave the biggest mark. | |
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| What Makes a good Profile verses a bad one.
Posted: 9/24/2005 2:01:20 PM | | While I am not really new to all of this, I do seem to have trouble when it comes to making a profile that gets any response other than from russian mail order brides or girls wanting me to pay to watch them as they cam...lol. No thanks. If there is anyone with suggestions/comments it would be greatly appreciated. | |
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