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mare29
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Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 76 | |
| I just can't deal with this anymore!
Posted: 5/9/2007 7:32:35 PM | I just want to get this straight ,you said he left you when you were 3 months pregnant and since the baby was born the both of you haven't got along. So then your saying he kept in contact with you even after he left you and came to see the baby after she was born?
I think that the fact that he did come and see the baby under these circumstances was a pretty good effort at being a Dad, that in itself would be an uncomfortable situation and shows he cares,he could have disappeared .
Your relationship with Dad has nothing to do with your baby ,no matter what, he is her Dad and you can't change that.It's best to try to keep the peace and encourage visits if possible ,it is hard to figure out what Dad is feeling inside especially when you both have some bitter feelings. Just because you both split up does not mean he doesn't care about the baby it is just a very uncomfortable situation.
As far as support goes, go for it mothers should not have the burden of providing for their children on their own she is his child too. He needs to be held responsible financially .
Good luck and don't stress, enjoy your precious baby she deserves all the love she can get. | |
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| I just can't deal with this anymore!
Posted: 5/9/2007 7:51:17 PM | Okay, I have 3 children. The oldest is going to be 18 right away and his father has not been a part of his life since he was 3 months old. Luckily my second child, a girl, has a great father who has been a father to both my son and his daughter. Then along came number 3. Again, her father is not in the picture. The father of the oldest has never helped support my son in anyway. The father of the youngest does support her financially.
That being said, now that my children are a little older and I have had time to calm down and take a realistic look at the situation. I should tell you first that my youngest daughters father uses this site as well, and he has himself listed as having kids...at first this ticked me right off! I thought how dare he say he has children, he has never even set eyes on his daughter. I thought does this guy not realize there is more to being a parent than sending a cheque once a month? The reality is though, when I look back to how I reacted when he told me that he didn't want to be with ME I pushed him to where he is.
I know it is tough when you are watching the other person carry on with their life while you are stuck at home changing diapers at 3am. A child easily becomes a pawn when parents become bitter with each other. Give it some time. Let things settle down. You are fortunate in that you can get all of this 'stuff' out of the way while your daughter is still young. Hopefully you can both get beyond your feelings for each other and agree to parent together.
Good Luck! | |
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| I just can't deal with this anymore!
Posted: 5/10/2007 4:17:48 AM | | i think you should be civil. i also think you should say he can see her, i know you odn't want to but, when she's older and she asks why didn't you come and see me, and his reply is, your mum wouldn't let me, you're going to be the bad one. if he messes her around when she's older and it distresses her then you can re think. as for child support, go to the citizens advice they'll let you know | |
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| I just can't deal with this anymore!
Posted: 5/26/2007 9:24:08 PM | | I hope everything gose or by now is alright Please for the bay's sake dont go back to him make it work for other reasons like you still love him and you belive in the santitie of a marriage is or a relationship is when there is a child involved> God bless you I pray thing's work out for you | |
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