| things I didn't expect to happen today!
Posted: 1/15/2007 6:37:44 PM | LOL, think I was a little unclear about the truck. It was still unpaid for when we met, he'd had it for 4 years then and it was a run down heap of junk with an really great motor. I helped him design a wooden box for the back of it, and with some serious work we made it road worthy enough to keep for the following 6 more years!
I'm in good shape as far as keeping what's mine, it's just that he is pettitioning for everything. What he asks for and what he gets will be quite different. Also, he may even end up paying me spousal support. He hasn't given me dime one in all the time since he left.
He was my reason for living, or so I thought. He was what I lived for, he was everything that was good in my life, or so I thought. Let's be clear here, I loved him very deeply and for a very long time(25 years), that doesn't just go away overnight. I am, however, on the way back from that obsession, and I have the tools to work out my problems now. I have a good lawyer working for me and I'm comfortable with that.
No Grandchildren, but I do have children, all grown up and living their own lives, happily. My head is emerging from the sand with fewer and fewer relapses, I'm becoming an individual again. It's just the shock of the mean spirit he holds that throws me sometimes. He's worse than mean spirited, he's evil. But he has to live with it, I don't. | |
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| things I didn't expect to happen today!
Posted: 1/15/2007 11:29:26 PM | LMAO... thanks for clearing up the truck! LOL
You were a strong woman before you met this man.... he became your world... (I'm sorry for that) I hope you can take all the good from your relationship... and do what's best for you to move on. Keep a daily journal of your feelings... If you need to cry... CRY... get it all out...
I've only had my heart broken one time... and I wasn't with the person 25 years!! So there is definately no timeframe for you on how long it will take for you to heal and become stronger...
Focus on other things.... like volunteering your time.... any hobbies you enjoy..meet some new friends....
Be thankful you don't have to live with a mean spirited man anylonger!!!!!
Hugs! | |
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| things I didn't expect to happen today!
Posted: 1/16/2007 7:59:19 PM | Thank you, coastergal. I think I am still a strong woman, I have been subjugated to that man for so long that I lost touch with the real me. Since I've been alone I've come back a long way, and the fun I have on Wed. nights at the coffee mill is an indication of the person I used to be and will be again.
You're right again, I don't have to live with him any more! He now lives with a low down female who steals other women's husbands, but then, she now lives with a man who lies and cheats on his women. What a perfect pair they are. | |
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| things I didn't expect to happen today!
Posted: 1/17/2007 11:03:29 AM | Lady Mara,
That is most interesting. He must be very broke to have a do it yourself divorce petition.
I am not a lawyer, but by the sound of the length of your marriage, it might just boil down to 50/50 split regardless of who had contributed the most in the marriage. What you had owned before you met him could be easily mixed in and be considered as marital assets if he had made payments, upkeeps or provided his labour.
Unless, it is a very special case such as Leblanc vs Leblanc which was an exceptional case that went to the Supreme Court of Canada. It was lengthy and costly both emotionally and financially to Mrs. Leblanc. Mrs Leblanc was almost the sole provider and all. At the end, Mr. Leblanc ended up with $6000.
Personally, I feel, it is NOT worth the time and engery to fight for anything more than 50/50. It is only money. Your happiness and sanity is worth a whole lot more than letting your ex getting to you.
Time will heal your hurts. He is in your past. Resentment can chew one to pieces. Don't waste time on expanding the negative energy. Move forward..with your hopes and dreams.
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| things I didn't expect to happen today!
Posted: 1/17/2007 12:43:53 PM | Actually that makes a lot of sense, and as long as I'm able to work I don';t need his money, and he has plenty of that rest assured. He's playing a role right now but he can't fool me with it.
My main concern right now is that he dropped me from the Blue Cross plan we had, without letting me know he was doing it, he didn't give me the option of taking up my 'side' of the plan so that I could continue to get the meds I need to live well. I have heart disease, have had a few 'attacks' and high blood pressure etc. It's a nasty thing he did to sort of get rid of me, I die, he takes all the marbles.
He is in a bad state of mind right now, not very stable, and willing to do anything to get what he wants. He is a skirt chaser and that broke up our marriage of 24+ years, now he's cheating on the one he left me for. | |
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| things I didn't expect to happen today!
Posted: 1/17/2007 1:17:23 PM | It sounds like he is playing Chess game with you to try to give you the least possible.
First time first, health (mental and physical) is wealth, without health one has nothing.
Perhaps, you might like to call Blue Cross and talk to the manager of the branch, go right to the top to avoid the running around. Tell him/her you ex dropped you from the plan without your knowledge and you just received the divorce petition on Sunday and ask whether you would be able to put yourself back in the plan and/or all the other options available to avoid high premium payment on a new policy. Your lawyer should be able to advice you on your circumstance.
And go further by faxing a letter to your ex and blue cross respectively to request your ex and Blue Cross to put you back in the plan, so there are proofs on your requests. I think you have 30 days( from the day you were dropped from the plan) to do it with Blue Cross. Good luck on that.
An ex is an ex for a very good reason. He can no longer break your heart again. You have to stay with a clear mind to deal with the divorce process.
Edited: If your ex don't have a fax , you might have to send a register letter and keep all the information with your file. You should let your lawyer know about everything in details. Write down everything( nothing but the truth) and present it to your lawyer which might save you hourly charge by the lawyer. Keep going to the counselling, go out with friends, do thing you like to do and want to do. Begin your new life ''positively''.
I don't think I can post anymore due to the 2/10 posts rule. | |
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| things I didn't expect to happen today!
Posted: 1/17/2007 7:35:29 PM | | For the quality of the thread, each poster is only able to have 2 postings out of the last 10, unless the poster is the original poster, then there is no limit. It is the rule of the forum postings. It surprises me that I can still post after my limit. Thus, I said perhaps this is my home turf and the rule doesn't apply. I used to post at NS and ONT forum quite a bit. | |
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| things I didn't expect to happen today!
Posted: 1/18/2007 7:29:35 PM | | Remember sweetheart,the very best revenge is a life lived to the fullest,never let another person dictate how happy your life will be,the best of luck to you and if you ever need a stranger to talk to it would be my pleasure....................................Dana | |
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BMW2k6
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Joined: 10/12/2006
Msg: 36 | |
| things I didn't expect to happen today!
Posted: 1/18/2007 7:49:20 PM | I'm just reading this now...finally got my PC fixed.
Lady mara, I'm very sorry that you're going through this. I hope that everything comes through in your favor.
BMW2k6 | |
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| things I didn't expect to happen today!
Posted: 1/19/2007 7:18:51 PM | | Oh yeah, golfer, that's an offer I can't resist. And you're so right, the best revenge is to live well, and I intend to. In fact I do right now. LEts 'talk" | |
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| things I didn't expect to happen today!
Posted: 1/19/2007 7:28:09 PM |
what is the 2/10 posts rule?
I've never seen a 2/10 rule. Here are the posting frequency rules, just in case you're still curious.
Any Thread that has More Than (2) Two consecutive Messages by Only (1) One single Individual within a 24 hour Period, will have their excess posted messages deleted unless they are corrective Edit-Action posts. (This is also known as "Sequential Replies", or posting (2) Two Replies in a Row. Please allow Others to Reply before you post again.)
Any Thread that has more than (1) One single Page of Only (2) Two Individuals posting back & forth within a 24 hour Period will have their excess posted messages deleted as well.
Any Thread that has more than (2) Two Pages of No More Than (3) Three Individuals posting back & forth within a 24 hour Period will also have their excess posted messages deleted. | |
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| things I didn't expect to happen today!
Posted: 1/19/2007 8:45:48 PM | | LOL, you do have a way with words, newf. I think I'm going to like getting to know you, and learning from you how to put things in their proper perspective! LOL | |
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| things I didn't expect to happen today!
Posted: 2/11/2007 4:36:03 AM | Once again all. Sorry for the double slurred postings last night by a drunk idiot. Much sober this morning and kicking my ass. Head is hung with shame.  | |
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| things I didn't expect to happen today!
Posted: 5/19/2008 10:55:31 AM | If there ever was a time to bring this one back it's now.
Update on the Lady Mara Divorce story: I'm divorced, I drove away in my own car, to my own home with papers stating both are mine free & clear. Also, He gets to keep what he called "The Marital Debt", since all that paperwork showed that he hadn't used one single penny of the $55,000 + on me or MY home. HE gets to keep the CDs & the DVDs he removed on his way out the door, and that's all. I not only will receive Spousal support, but I also receive half his Canada Pension, Old Age Pension and half of his Pension from work!
I think this is a story with a happy ending. So, why am I not happy? Mostly because a once beautiful thing died and I feel that loss. A moment of silence please. I can't be happy about the divorce, but I can feel relief that I won't starve to death as he wished I would. I'm not using any of His money, I have a good job and no bills except for living expenses. I'm OK and each day is brighter than the last.
Thanks for all the advice and support you guys have given me, it all helped and one of you got me next to the best darn divorce lawyer in the province! Thank you, Krystal!
This may sound like bragging, I don't mean it that way. I only want to shut the last door on my past so I can get on with my future. I'm so much healthier now, happier in my freedom & independance, ready to continue my life interrupted. Look out world, I'm back and I'm bringing sunshine with me! | |
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| things I didn't expect to happen today!
Posted: 5/21/2008 2:23:02 PM | | Congratulations Lady Mara! I know how hard it is...the grief and the mourning for what could have been...but you ARE strong and you WILL be happy again. When I got divorced all I wanted was "out" so I can't share your glee in the spousal support, etc that you will be receiving. I made more than my husband ever did anyway so it just wasn't an issue. Bottom line though: I AM happy for you in your new freedom and for having closure on this whole thing. I wish you the very best in your new life! | |
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| things I didn't expect to happen today!
Posted: 5/21/2008 4:48:30 PM |
This may sound like bragging, I don't mean it that way. I only want to shut the last door on my past so I can get on with my future. I'm so much healthier now, happier in my freedom & independance, ready to continue my life interrupted. Look out world, I'm back and I'm bringing sunshine with me!
It doesn't sound like your bragging at all lady,in fact you sound like a women that came out of a bad realionship with a lot more confidence and strength good for you!
Things I didn't expect today...I had the best day that I have had in a long while,a dozen yellow roses sent to my work place!
It was a wonderful surprize,sure made my day!
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| things I didn't expect to happen today!
Posted: 5/21/2008 6:14:51 PM | "lady mara" *C*o*N*g*R*a*T*u*L*a*T*i*O*n*S* over and over and over!
A saying my dear Dad still says to me at certain times and I take it with me wherever I go, "Stick up your chin and never give in"! This is what you did and I commend you for it! GOOD FOR YOU!
It is so sad that something that "WAS"so beautiful and amazing (speaking from personal experience as well) just disappeared into thin air, and along with it, one's being and sanity was being tried!
But we all, men and women, come to a certain time in our life that we realize we are ALOT stronger than we even realized!
Again CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS lady mara, I am so glad to hear that it all worked out for you in the end!
cindy is back
Oh by the way, it didn't sound like you were bragging but with what you had went through, trust me honey..."You had those rights to do so"! | |
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didnt think id be posting here at 222am ..a bit tipsyyyysd