| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 7/29/2007 11:31:45 AM | Back to ya Hortense...
Just (teasing)Wishing
Fantasy is a redhead and water bed
Your hair is currently brown not red
I got a tube of red dye
To humor Eye Guy
To make you a "real" redhead instead
The storekeeper said;
No Problem...
Changing hair color and guys can be
both done on the same day... | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 7/30/2007 8:03:38 PM | This thread is to be taken no more seriously than watching an episode of South Park.
I ache all over feeling like I was in a fight
Do you remember what we did last night
Quite staring at me like that please
Yano I can’t seem to feel my knees
Trying that in a small hybrid car is a squeeze
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 7/30/2007 8:36:30 PM | I laugh a lot at the limericks written
My sense of humor is dry as a mitten
Someone inject me please
With a potion to tease
With a laugh bug I'd like to be bitten.
Big Pen and Hortense, I could use some help!!!! | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 7/30/2007 9:49:09 PM | Tough Enough
My T V Advertisement, I’m a hard bodied man
Seen quite a bit on late night all over the land
30 day guarantee
About my ability
For a few bucks more, you can opt for a backup plan
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 7/30/2007 10:20:03 PM | Tis my fondest dream of true romance
Find an old prince to naturally enhance
when our twilight is over
and he's pushing up clover
Per our vows, at his funeral, I'll dance.
No, no....wait
What I'm craving is a gent of some age
Well seasoned by thyme and some sage
to satisfy my yearning
for life-lesson learning
and to save me from minimum wage 
No, no....hold up!
The sexiest thing that I know of
is to laugh till you've laughed all your clothes off
then laugh all the way through
till you've lost all every cue
and for some reason you just have to doze off
There, see--all's well that ends well. goodnight. | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 7/31/2007 12:49:40 AM | You make us laugh and sing andance
On these threads, and never by chance,
Each line well worth reading
What more are we needing?
Having you here is glad happenstance | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 7/31/2007 5:57:40 AM | Some very fine pals write limericks
giving a very good name to the gimm(er)ick
thank you all for these musings
of silliness and goosings
and literature scrawled out in lip-schtick. (? sp) | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 7/31/2007 8:44:19 PM | See what I mean? you girls are great
I learn and learn and take the bait
For eye Guy I am fishing
But the chow he is dishing?
He is hooked, but for me it's to late | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 7/31/2007 9:08:10 PM | My Montana Vacation
One week to Montana to visit grandkids
After five years I came to be in their mids
His ex wife is a B**tch
And there was the hitch
She took her turn for three days with the kids
Between her and bible school didn't see much of them
I booked a sightseeing tour with an antique tram
Ended up going alone
No need to throw me a bone
I will never go back there again.
Evil Knievel days were more urgent than I
My last day there, I wanted to say goodbye
I hugged and squeezed them
Kissed away tears, damn
She got them back in time for me to fly
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ebgdae
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 2660 | |
| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/1/2007 3:07:00 AM | A lady went up to Montana
and was treated in a very rude manner
she was just on the verge
but she held back the urge
to hit her daughter-in-law with a spanner | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/1/2007 7:01:38 AM | Today I flipped out at a turd
who had really gone back on his word
So I told him, "pluck off"
and he tried to get tough
but he tripped and looked really absurd. | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/1/2007 8:08:57 AM | Andance your story gives us pause
To think of injustice without cause
But it really was dandy
To spend time with each grandie
Just a pity when in-laws become out-laws. | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/1/2007 1:56:54 PM | If I Had a Hammer
I leaned back in my cozy Lazy Boy
Firing up my t v with my clicker toy
Watching Tunnels and bridges
Ate a bag of chips with ridges
Saw construction building I enjoy | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/2/2007 1:04:34 AM | It's early morning and still I can't sleep
Been counting ex husbands instead of sheep
Have they both gone to heaven?
Do I to meet them n stop breathen
Or can I fly with Eddie in clouds so deep | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/2/2007 1:09:57 AM | Why do they rumble around in my head
All three of them are gone and dead
But Ed is still living in me
The others I don't want to see
I'll be with the one that loved me instead | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/2/2007 1:14:34 AM | Good night my cheery friends. you too Eye Guy.
I better cheer up on this post
I'm really not seeing a ghost
Just some whisful thinking
With my eye a blinking
Going back to the sleep I need most
Good night
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/2/2007 4:26:09 AM | Sleep? Nah that's only for weaklings
who waddle about like stoned ducklings
stay up all the night
give the neighbours a fright
when they lay there like fat piggies suckling | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/2/2007 5:46:54 AM | There was a girl hitch hiking nearby a tree
I picked her up to give her a ride for free
I really wanted company for my ride
And that really is for what I tried
For her, just a trip from point A to B | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/2/2007 6:10:45 AM | I tell you don't go moon the Wolf-man
or he'll find you and make you his best friend
Well he is a bit weird
and he don't know he's feared
While you're mooning he'll howl at your arse man... | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/2/2007 12:21:06 PM | Hmmm
We recognize the term "One night stand"
What happens if it occurs during the daytime?
How about calling it “Day Lay, or Day Laid.”
Guess I better stick to limericks...
Man hadda go straight to the loo
Cause his body told him too
Your body demands
Quick with your hands
Or your britches wind up full of Poo | |
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ebgdae
|
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 2674 | |
| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/2/2007 5:57:47 PM | Now the limericks are all full of crap
about types, and some sort of mishap
Please! No more toilet humour!
I'll just start a rumour
that someone on here has the clap | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/2/2007 6:18:40 PM | What happens if it occurs during the daytime?
"making hay while the sun shines........" I prefer "making the beast with two backs" for it's medieval imagery......
I stayed away for too long
and missed the limerick song
it's sung loud and gaudy
is best when it's bawdy
and doesn't go on for too long | |
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