| Patron on the Beach
Posted: 8/5/2007 2:56:48 AM | Since when is a re-run deflating
after wining and dining and . . . waiting?
It's my informed supposition
you chose the wrong position
or need lessons in conjugating. | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/5/2007 8:12:14 PM | Eye Guy
Cold showers may be in order
I miss my fun loving brother
Whose quaint little quips
Make me laugh and have hickups
Don't make me get over the Michigan border
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ebgdae
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 2705 | |
| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/6/2007 2:11:16 AM | I shudder when I think of cold showers
they make lil boys out of towers
the shrinkage is grim
and your prospects are dim
and to go back to normal takes hours | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/6/2007 6:02:30 AM | Worse yet is a Georgian Bay swim
Will cause shrinkage in even her quim
You would think this would work
By the size of her smirk
But you still need to use a shim | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/6/2007 6:13:53 AM | I watched her as she undressed
It was not how I would have guessed
This road I would never'gain travel
To watch all that flesh unravel
I am starting to really transgress | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/6/2007 6:26:19 AM | As a way of body art promotion
And to show me all her devotion
A seashell tatoo was placed up high
On the inside part of her silky thigh
With my ear to it, I can smell the ocean | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/6/2007 12:28:10 PM | Many thanks to president bush
kiss my white republican tush
to radical righties that might scoff
I was just told I'm freakin' laid off
the economy is softer than mush
It's almost as bad as being dead
the damn country is bleeding red
To put us back in the black
get us the f out of Iraq
use that pea brain inside of your head!
Now don't go get me all wrong
And think I'm singing a liberal song
I'm an insensitive jerk
I actually like to work
Instead of hitting the bong
Something has just go to give
I need a wage on which I can live
I don't mind toil and sweat
But one thing you can bet
Up on this country I must give
Up to the north I should go
Up where there's permanent snow
I'll get some relief and a lot less grief
If my flag had the canadian maple leaf
And never come back here ya know?
Cheers! | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/6/2007 8:02:28 PM | Speaking as a foreigner who went trough hell in WWII
This is the best country on earth
If I may put in my two cents worth
When the chips are down
You want to get out of town
Being stubborn and tough gave America its birth
We came here with nothing in nineteen fifty five
Lucky to get here save and alive
Unless you have lived through the worst
You've not known real hunger and thirst
Appreciate a land that wants you to thrive
No man has ever achieved perfection
Including presidents voted in by selection
They're not always right or clear
But there's no tyranny here
Quit complaining and show this country affection | |
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ebgdae
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 2712 | |
| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/7/2007 5:26:44 AM | Politics is invading our thread!
lets get back to Norty instead
just write something nutty
about almost anything smutty
but politics is a little too smutty to be read | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/7/2007 6:27:06 AM | Get away from those crass polly ticks
to talk about soft nuzzles and licks
but it's hard to be dirty
when you're more than twice thirty
and your memory needs a bit of a fix. | |
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| Limericks...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 8/7/2007 6:35:37 AM | There was frost when I stepped on the lawn
bloody frost, in the tropics at dawn
that's too cold for us folks
we're all thin skinned blokes
fought the cold with that booze made from corn! | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 8/7/2007 10:15:26 AM | There once was a girl who like fishes.
For a good-looking mate she had wishes.
When she signed up online,
the guys said she's fine,
Wonder if she does laundry and dishes? | |
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ebgdae
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 2716 | |
| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 8/7/2007 6:03:59 PM | The way to a man’s heart’s through his belly
If you believe that, you watch too much telly
Try a little black dress
And I must confess
I’m on my knees and acting like jelly | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 8/9/2007 12:28:24 AM | Heart lesson #2
The way to a man’s heart’s through his wennie
She may not take notice if it's too teeny
You can buy a pump
to get ready to hump
Or ask for a big wish from a real genie  | |
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ebgdae
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 2718 | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 8/9/2007 6:27:33 AM | It's a shame as some people get older
That they wish for some things to be bolder
A genie might shrink the torso
To make the 'other' look more so
But an older beholder can be a much bolder holder | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 8/9/2007 6:54:31 AM | Oh please man has evolved
in a twenty four seven I ‘m told
I can purchase more than batteries
to satisfy my desires
Oh Lord, only one man I’m recycled for
^^^that is profound to me
I still like to dance
who will romance
and know the swing in my accounts
I have no balance | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 8/10/2007 7:29:03 AM | ‘Twas a girl, with a penchant for babbitts
They assembled ‘round her like rabbits
- self centered were they
- not paying their way
She dropped them like a string of bad habits. | |
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| Transportation
Posted: 8/10/2007 9:01:13 AM | Said she: “Me vehicle’s with broken transmission”
Said he: “In me pockets for money I’m fishin’”
- And sidestepin’ the doom
- He bought a new broom
She streaks about on it now while she’s wishin’. | |
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| Tainted Food©
Posted: 8/10/2007 10:35:00 AM | For food there wasn’t no finer
Said the man ownin’ the diner
- except the main course
- the food of remorse
Sent tainted over from China | |
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