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Posted: 3/12/2008 6:08:40 AM | mable received a knock on the door
she wasn't sure who the knock was for
when she opened it she found
a child, low to the ground
cutest thing, could not ask for anything more
then mable asked, what can i do for you
because really, she had not a clue
the babe with the big blue eyes
when he said, she nearly cried
my daddy's name is lucky lou
lucky lou is mables long lost son
she had him once when she was on the run
she gave him to her brother
better that than her mother
and went on to have some more fun
oh when the child spoke, mables heart did melt
she felt feelings she never before felt
are you my nana, the young one said
mable bent over and kissed his head
and in her arms the boy she did held
she invited the child in
and thought what a lovely product of my sin
she made them some tea
and more there soon will be to see
after a chat with her new found kin | |
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Posted: 3/12/2008 6:10:29 AM | Mable moved on for a tour of the Middle East
She went to Jerusalem looking for a priest
There was very few
Just Arabs and Jews
So Mable moved on after attending a religious feast
She went to Iran to meet the Imran
He lusted after Mable and was quite a fan
He had a holy relic
Which looked phallic
And he wanted to prove to Mable he was still a man
Mable fled and went to Iraq
Where Sadam tried to get Mable into the sack
Mable said no
I'm not an old pro
Then Sadam threatened Mable with punishment on the rack
Mable packed her bags and went to Damascus
Where she met the President and entered another fracas
The President wanted service
Made Mable nervous
Then Mable kicked Hussain in the middle of his maraccas
The Middle East proved to volatile for dear old Mable
To many different horses all in the one stable
Mable did a moonlight flit
Ran of with a Brit
Hence continues the saga of the Fable of Mable | |
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Posted: 3/12/2008 6:14:10 AM | mable told her grandson the time she just had
out in the middle east, making some soldier glad
the young one was grinnin'
didn't quite understand the sinnin'
and didn't at all think his nana bad!!
mable has a way of telling a good story
she tells it with spirit and a lot of glory
yeah, the middle east was tough
as a trip it was rough
but for her grandson she left out the parts that were gorey
(geeze bird, got me in a mess here!!) | |
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Posted: 3/12/2008 10:52:12 AM | Mable was recently in the state of New York
It was there she met a real sad dork
His name was Client 9
He liked to do sixty nine
He asked Mable if she would pop his cork
Mable was astonished at the man's front and gall
So she kneed him, Whallop, on his left ball
He cried with joy
Oh boy, Oh boy
Elliot immediately asked Mable to give him a call
Client 9 was obsessed with our gal Mable
He had heard all about her kitchen table
He liked to pay
For all his prey
But Mable didn't want a good time girl label
Mable decided she had to do her civic duty
So she came on strong being a real true beauty
She set the Governor up
For he was corrupt
Now she is the heroine of the New York State community | |
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Posted: 3/12/2008 5:17:47 PM | i tell ya miss mable sure gets around
and in new york she was the talk of the town
when she exposed gov. spitzer
after he called her sista
she took the sucker down...
the fact that he was involved with a call girl
wasn't what really shook mables world
it was the disrepect he had
for the woman, that made him a cad
and really made mables hair curl
and the fact he was such a liar
really caught her goat on fire
if he was an honest man
who didn't lie when he can
her feelings would not have been so dire
really, what people do in their private time
is something that she doesn't give a mind
but the deceit and the lying
is what got mable flying
and set her out to see what she could find....
so please hear mables heed
do anything that you need
just treat people with respect
and be honest with what you get
and when you cut be sure to bleed | |
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Posted: 3/12/2008 9:25:22 PM | There once was a granny called Mable
who, apparently, was willing and able.
She led a tawdry life,
full of trouble and strife,
but, apparently, wasn't mentally stable. | |
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Posted: 3/12/2008 9:46:23 PM | Is that really what old Mable said
About being away in her head?
After all those abuses
She resorted to excuses
For what she did in and out of bed? | |
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Posted: 3/12/2008 10:10:13 PM | Of all of the things that have been said
That's the first that I've heard of Mable in bed
If she's with a bore
Wonder if she snores
I wonder what ever goes on in her head | |
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Posted: 3/13/2008 12:52:09 AM | Mable in the past has had her detractors
Whilst many men were willing benefactors
Those politically correct
Feminists in fact
React to Mable like a Nuclear reactor
Mable you see is an adventurus spirt
She really enjoys being a bit of a flirt
She enjoys good sex
Just wants a little respect
And has never intentionally caused anyone hurt
I think there's a bit of old Mable in us all
It's just shes more honest, a female St Paul
I'm a little bit envious
Being so obviously pious
For I too would love to have Mable in the hall
Mable has no time for dogmatic people's views
She is of the opinion that all people are free to choose
She won't be caged
By others or old age
She has always been forthright never seeking to confuse
Mable have never lied to any of her ex-boyfriends
And never gives out messages that one can't comprehend
Shes always dead straight
Always turns up late
That will be old Mable right till the end
Mable has never got up on her high horse
She lets others live their lives and never gets cross
She just wants a good time
Likes a good dirty rhyme
And she never will let any man tell her he's the boss
Mable can be mischiveous but she's not daft
She likes simple things and to have a good laugh
Stupid she's not
She can be shit* hot
She's always got the better of her other half
Mable loves to expose other peoples' deep sealed prejudices
So she acts a bit simple it's just one of her devices
Cause she likes sex
Don't mean she's not complex
And she knows everyone carries their own individual prices
Mable can be serious when she so pleases
But she would rather have fun and chooses teases
You need to be alert
When she starts to flirt
She can melt many old farts hearts after long deep freezes
Mable believes in free speech and also free choice
She lives and let lives and she does rejoice
She's not autocratic
She's very democratic
That's why Mable will listen to your voice
Mable likes her freedom and hates to be smoothered
That's why institutions like marriage have her bothered
She does her best
To be different from the rest
It perhaps arises from her childhood when she was mothered | |
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Posted: 3/13/2008 7:55:02 AM | oh what fun and joy it brings
when others share in the song she sings
yeah, we know mable is a tart
but a tart with such a heart
help us discover her new flings!!
and birdie, i've said it before and will again
your mind is soo sharp,a bit of a sin
mable really makes me smile
such a good time with her style
well, my day must now begin...
(really, just wanted to stop and say, hey!!) | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 3/13/2008 8:05:32 AM | Fearless frank was having a wank
At the back of a shithouse door
He thought about****br>Gave a quick grunt
And he came all over the floor
i read that on a toilet wall in leeds and i'll never forget it  | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 3/13/2008 9:52:53 AM | Slim - Brilliant, such mastery, i understood every word
Now we know where all the really great poets reside
prehaps a poetic convention could be organised for
a tour of the Leeds shithouses!
Mable met Frank when he was having his wank
His back was against the door
Mable looked down saw the spunk all around
And Frank called poor Mable a whore
Mable kicked Frank a boot on the balls
Frank fell his face hit the sperm
Frank's face was a mess he was in such distress
Mable laughed to see Frank squirm | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 3/13/2008 10:02:02 AM | Mable has always been very independent
Even if men have always tried to be attendant
She has always worked
Never ever shirked
And has always looked quite resplendent
Mable has always had trouble with each and every boss
But the problems have back-fired to each bosses cost
Their wandering hands
Wore wedding bands
And many a finger was nearly cut off
One particular boss caught Mable's fancy
This one boss his name was Francie
Mable liked his touch
But things got too much
When Mable found out Franice was married to Nancy
Mable in the workplace was a deliberate flirt
And she always wore to work a very short skirt
The lads were gagging
Their tails were wagging
As Mable also wore very low cut shirts
Mable in one job got promotion
It caused a stink a terrible commotion
The girls were jealous
Of Mable and the fellas
When Mable walked passed it was pure poetry in motion | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 3/13/2008 2:20:09 PM | Mable went to Hollywood to be a big star
She was told with her big eyes she would go very far
She got on the couch
Looked at the directors pouch
Then headed straight for the nearest bar
She auditioned for a part with as Marilyn Monroe
But she would not go to the places the leading man would go
Mable had ruby red lips
Two massive whips
And everything else was was displayed for show
Mable had to fight of the attentions of her leading man
Who adored her and was her No1 fan
Warren Beatty was no spring chicken
His lips were thickened
When she whalloped him with a demonic left hand
Mable had so much trouble learning her lines
She was continually getting pinched on the behind
She bought a dictionary
From a big screen fairy
And she was amazed when even he took a shine | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 3/14/2008 10:22:38 AM | As a schoolgirl Mable wanted to play hockey
But she was waylaid when she met a young jockey
She asked if he had a horse
He started to get course
Mable dropped him dead for being too co*ky
On Mondays at school young Mable had gym
She was in the locker room when in walked Jim
She let out a yell
Jim promised not to tell
Then Mable did things to Jim on a whim
Mable went out in the playground to play
All the other girls looked at Mable and ran away
They took their ball
To another wall
And young Mable was left with an attitude to this day
The other girls would not play with poor Mable
But the boys appreciated Mable for all she was able
Mable cared very little
For girls who were fickle
And thereafter Mable always had boys around her table
Mable often wondered what she did to offend
For she believed she had been tried and condemned
Mable developed a thick skin
Had a real cute chin
And the attention of the school boys helped Mable to mend
Mable since her school days has had to tread a fine line
Between appeasing others and speaking her own mind
As Mable has got older
And became increasingly bolder
Mable was able to recognise the danger signs | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/14/2008 12:56:18 PM | Dick was a prick
I was told to beware
He wanted to snag
My sheer underwear
Now my nylons have runs
From attilla the hun
I've traded him in
To ease greek from my tongue
It's similar in taste
There is much more-less waste
Believe it or not
That's how simple the plot
So now when it's told
The story of old
I leave out the puns
From oven to cold
Now attilla he sniffs
For material of limb
Arousal is greatest
When lights turned to dim
Sniffin and spliffin
He makes his rounds clear
He's in for the distance
Low and behold..., intrique has gone
"shear"
From hill to the cheese
Nibbled and ate
Today reads a note
--"Your sheeps in a boat"
Riding the waves
Laughing with herds
Milk-shaked regularly
Makes great toast to the curds
I can't see the harm
In attilla the hun...now
He learned how to soften
If he wanted some fun
So what has this got
To do with ole dick?
Well attila you see
Too was too concerned..., with his prick
end of a long snag-a
 | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/14/2008 1:15:02 PM | Mable once went out with a lad called Attilla the Hun
But Mable dropped Attilla when he tried to lick her bum
Attilla as astounded
When Mable pounded
And hit Attilla's head with a bottle of rum | |
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