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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/14/2008 1:38:51 PM | Mable was done by the cops for assult and battery
But Attilla took it as a compliment a kind of flattery
Attilla was rum sodden
Mable felt down trodden
So she went of to buy a ticket for the national lottery
Mable purchased her lottery ticket
Into her bra Mable did stick it
Attilla made a grab
Hands like a crab
Mable kicked Attilla in the middle of his wicket
Mable won the lottery she won a hundred grand
Now she could go out and buy herself any old man
Attilla was cute
Bought himself a suit
That's how Attilla became Mable's number one fan | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/14/2008 5:34:37 PM | mable woke up stuff and sore
all she did at night was snore
she couldn't touch her toes
and bled went her nose
she couldn't even get out the door
an acupunturist was then suggested
some nervousness was detected
a few needles here, and some there
after awhile she'd have no care
i'll think about it, she reflected
she made an appointment with little yoshi
and with all her courage did go, she
the needles made her quesy
she felt weak in the kneesy
then closed her eyes and started to flow, she
yoshi stuck a needle in her neck
mable didn't feel it, what the heck
two in the ear
and one in the rear
it happened so quickly, she wasn't a wreck
a feeling of warmth was felt throughout
mable then with joy started to scream and shout
who would have thought
the feelings the needle brought
now with acupunture she has no doubt
mable now sees yoshi once a week
and with the needles she is no longer meek
and now she gets bled
when she hurts in her head
eastern medicine is now what she seeks
she love the incense that are used
and all the stiffness she did lose
more energy she now gets
especially when she has sex
the thought of the needles now keeps her amused... | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/14/2008 11:01:53 PM | a long, long time ago...in a land far, far away
mable was conceived...in enjoyment and play
her parents-to-be met by chance
smiled at each other and started to dance
had a few drinks and then got carried away
laughter was heard throughout the night
whispers of pleasure and pure delight
they were estastical
their feelings were magical
loving each other had felt so right
that is the moment mable was conceived
the love that was there, you wouldn't believe
but they didn't live happily ever after
and soon it stopped, the laughter
and the ensuing pain was never relieved.....
(anyone wanna jump in??!!!) | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/15/2008 3:21:32 AM | Mable going to Dublin met a Wild Rover
Who handed Mable a lucky four leaf clover
Mable said shamrock
The Rover pulled out his co*k
And was hit with a shillelagh over and over
The Wild Rover called Mable an auld whore
Mable had been called that name many times before
Mable did a burly
Hit the Rover with a hurly
For weeks the Wild Rover was sore
The Wild Rover was out for revenge
Before he left Ireland for Stone Henge
He really hated Mable
Because she was so able
The Wild Rover was certainly deranged
The Wild Rover liked to drink whiskey and beer
After a few drinks he went to visit the local seer
The holy man said run
Mable had a big gun
The Wild Rover departed filled with fear | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/15/2008 6:51:40 AM | Mable went to New York for the St Pats day parade
She was so annoyed everything was a charade
The whiskey was scotch
The kilts were the black watch
And they banned her from walking in the cavalcade
Mable then went to Chicago to joint the celebrations
There were people from the world over, all the nations
All claiming to be Irish
All from a strange parish
Mable wondered about the Irish fasination
Mable was disappointed she did not see leprechauns
Just men in green hats playing with their wands
She said the false beards
Was decidely weird
They looked liked Gnomes sitting beside fish ponds
Mable was shocked to see the Irish all stinking drunk
What would St Patrick say being a celibate monk
She was so agitated
She got inebriated
And made love on the shamrock to A big Kerry hunk | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/15/2008 11:42:41 AM | Mable wanted to learn about Paddy so she went to Downpatrick
Then she crawled up on her knees the mountain at Croagh Patrick
She read the Book of Kells
Chanted some spells
Then out of the blue came a Mayo man called Padric
Mable reckoned Padric was sent from God
A good Catholic man who would not commit fraud
Mable was distressed
Her plans in a mess
Cause Padric from Mayo turned out to be a Prod
Mable had enough of all the Irish blarney
She made one final stop it was to Killarney
She did the Macgillycuddy Reeks
They matched her own twin peeks
And she offered by Sean a piece of his salami | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/15/2008 1:44:20 PM | irish salami mable loves best
to that she has put the others to test
she likes 'em lefty
not too hefty
and after some sausage she loves a good rest
with st. paddy celebrations she's sure gotten around
new york, chicago then back to the irish towns
a few pints of ale
then another irish male
keeps mable going....never letting her down | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/15/2008 1:57:17 PM | Mable has searched the world for happiness
Never finding those strong arms for a true caress
She settled for sex
And a good set of pecs
And the obligatory proud and thick and firm penis
Mable is not settling for a wimp of a man
He will need to be built and have a firm hand
Mable likes to be held
With a grip like a weld
By a big man with muscles and a golden tan
You can keep your brains Mable likes brawn
Weak intellectuals are Mables pawn
She likes em stacked
Below the decks
And if they come too soon then they are gone
Mable admits she like a good rump
No flabby bits to spoil the hump
She likes to feel bone
Hitting the spot home
And if you don't satisfy her you'll get a thump | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/15/2008 4:48:06 PM | mable just put birdman to bed
whispering sweet nuthin's in his head
may the good night he sleep
and the morning not weep
for mable will then be sleeping with fred
(sweet dreams dear friend!!!) | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/16/2008 1:36:41 AM | Mable during a bad spell turned to the drink
The hard liquor it seems helped Mable to think
Mable liked the whiskey
It made her feel frisky
But the smell of the whiskey made Mable's breath stink
Mable then discovered a taste for the gin
So many empty bottles were found in her bin
She could drink a full glass
So bloody fast
That many a drinking competiton Mable would win
Mable also liked the taste of drinking cold beer
But she had to stop drinking because of the fear
Of getting a big belly
Legs like jelly
And ending up like Norm who starred in Cheers | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/16/2008 6:19:42 AM | yep, old mable started the drink
after awhile she couldn't even think
when she was playing about
she'd often pass out
and yeah, she started to stink
so a friend took her to an AA mtg
there she got a warm ol' greeting
from sober men and women alike
she thought she just might like
it's better than her liver takin' a beating
at first mable did nothing but listen
she heard some stuff that she was missing
powerless over people, places and things
and what pain the drink can bring
and that being drunk doesn't make for good kissin'
before the meeting did end
all held hands, women and men
the serenity prayer was said
it kept going thru her head
especially that part about wisdom
after the prayer mable looked into his eyes
ohmygod, what an incredible guy
he was blonde and tan
mable found another mad
they had a quickie in the closet, and held their cries... | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/16/2008 6:45:18 AM | Mable was thrown out of AA for screwing Thomas
So the two of them went and joined (SA) Sexual Anonymous
Having quick sex
Showed little respect
For all those at AA who were all rather pompus
Mable thought that she had died and gone to heaven
When she walked into SA it was like a male coven
Lots of magnificent muscles
Bulging corpuscles
Immediately she was attracted to at least six or seven
Mable got up and professed to be a sex addict
She told the meeting she loved the sight of big di*ks
All the men loudly cheered
The women all sneered
And bets were taken when Mable would get her next fix
Mable felt empowered by her public revelation
She felt that she needed to have a celebration
The men volunteered
The women just leered
As a member of SA Mable was something of a sensation | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/16/2008 8:31:26 AM | 
One day Mable was introduced
To Posting Anonymous
Had her words ready at the door
Lynched a fine paragragh to open
It all went fine until
Closing
Looking back
She recalls how she mistook 'Posting'
For a forum of plenty
When in reflecting she found her head
And 'Come to Think Of It'
Still has a bump From the 'Post Your Thoughts' thread
OMG what kinda day is this going to bee?
 | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/16/2008 9:06:02 AM | limericks she started writing, that mable
got out her pen and paper on the table
followed the a,a,b,b,a rhyme
and had a mighty good time
recording the words of her fable....
she was told by the eye guy and not by accident
that limericks also has strict syllabic accents
but the message was deleted
before her reading was completed
so she'll just carry on with the merriment....
a,a,b,b,a is what we'll have do
and include a bit of lechery or two
and rhyme at the end
so we all can begin
wondering what is next and with who! | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/16/2008 12:32:55 PM | Is Mable a figment of the imagination
Who seems to have caught people's fasination
A tart with a heart
Who can wear heels and fart
Mable is pleased she is cause of such celebration
Mable enjoys pleasure and having a good time in bed
Having a pleasurable time does not depend on being wed
Pleasure without a ring
Is still an enjoyable thing
That's a Mable quote I once heard said
Mable's no old whore she is still very choosey
Jez she once had the nerve to reject George Clooney
She slung him out on his ear
For drinking to much beer
And she went off instead with a raving looney
Mable likes the esoteric it gives her a kick
Mable believes eccentric men all have big di*ks
Without being pedantic
I'm also eccentric
But you know that already cause my writing is sick | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/16/2008 12:44:11 PM | my dear friend mable emailed me early today
have you read 'bout christine, she did say
it seems bird found another
a prostitute who's a mother
during the weekdays she charges for lays
christine broke mables heart
it's a bittersweet story from the start
as she was emailing me the tale
she said she had to bale
she just saw that young stud art
so you see, mable really is sweet
a person like her just can't be beat
i'll say it before, i'll say it again
i'll love sweet mable to the bitter end
plus she's told me how to beat his meat
(ok..that was pretty bad!!) | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/16/2008 6:48:02 PM | OMFG....You guys are put'n a frieght of laughter in me, that is unbelievable..Rock on steady and HARD....STRAIGHT UP..FIRM AND FULL OF LIFE!!!
I can barely breathe........A ZILLION THANK YOU'S..........
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/16/2008 8:33:21 PM | mable called me ol' friend hammy...
she didn't know what to do with ed's ol' salami
me friend said, treat it keen
shine it up till it sheens
mable thought that was yankee doodle dandy
(so did ed!!!....i need to go to bed...omigosh...nite!) | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/17/2008 1:57:28 AM | Mable once decided to work in construction
Which pleased all the men who helped with production
She wore tight jeans
Busting at the seams
After which all the workers experienced a rapid erection
The rear of Mable's jeans did not quite fit
In fact she showed more than just a little bit
Mable's derrie aire
Looked oh so fair
And Mable instantaneously became a big hit
Mable flirted with the electricians and steel erectors
But worst of all were the health and safety inspectors
They asked her to drop
Her revealing top
And put on a pair of reflective protectors
Mable was aghast at her new fashion disaster
Now the men just cut, joined and plastered
Mable whipped of her top
Showed the men what she got
Now the workmanship has been terrible on the new pilasters | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/17/2008 3:24:55 AM | Mable was taken to court for health and safety violations
Whilst in the courtroom she started another conflagration
She showed of her tits
The Judge had several fits
And the jury had to decide on her next destination
The jury was composed of twelve honest and true men
Except, except for the fact eight jurers where women
The four males were impressed
Not so all the rest
For the sight of those perfect breasts did the women offend
Mable was thus jailed because she had perfect tits
It was a fcuking crime cause I loved them to bits
The feminist jurers
Were simply auld whores
And the judge never recovered from the convulsive fits
Mable was taken to jail in a paddy wagon (cause it's St Patricks day)
But she was very courageous nothing of Mable was flagging
She went to a mixed prison
Created another schism
But all the male prisoners their tails were a wagging | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/17/2008 6:19:04 AM | ahhhh...on st paddy's day
they let miss mable have her way
we know how she loves the irish men
and all of their irish sin
what more do i need to say?
mable's favorite irishman is bird
i know, i know you already heard
but he too is a dear
drinking all the irish beer
even though he's a little bit weird
but entertain mable he certainly did
celebratin' and dancin' the jig
and for ol' mable
he cleared off the table
and had a time of it, something big
so on this st. paddy's day
luck of the irish be with you it may
take it from mable and bird
and have a few irish words
then celebrate the day away!!
(birdman, hope you're having a great day my friend...rosie!) | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/17/2008 9:26:23 AM | On St Patricks day Mable entered the penitentiary
Where she was elected by the inmates as a plenipotentiary
Her two big tits
Were wonderful hits
Mable was the designated hero of the twentieth century
Mable was supposed to do hard labour
But that was done instead by two wonderful neighbours
Bob was a thief
Rob had no teeth
Both of them volunteered hoping for Mable's favours
Mable was also a hit with the prison guards
Who all woofed and whistled when she jogged around the yard
Mable could never have escaped
Through the prison gates
Because all the guards would have made it hard
Mable had to clean out her prison cell
Slop out the toilets now that was just hell
She found a log
Lying in the bog
And had to remove it because of the awful smell | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/17/2008 11:33:26 AM | Mable's solicitors made an application to the Appeal Court
In order to have her original sentence abort
The jury had been corrupt
Treated Mable like an old slut
And the forewoman of the jury worked as an escort
Mable's sentence was over-turned my me-Luds
Mable fell to her knees and gave thanks to her God
The prisoners rioted
The guards were disquiet
And the forewoman of the jury got three years for fraud
Mable left prison with banners and bunting flying
Some of the male prisoners even considered dying
No more Mable
Sitting at the dining table
Had even some of the female prisoners crying
Mable swore she would always keep on her shirt
And always watch the length of her skirt
Her memory was short
She was immediately caught
Flashing at traffic cops as she started to flirt
Mable was caught speeding by the traffic police
She had no money their palms to grease
So she gave them a gander
At what she had under
And got of without a fine as their eyes they did feast | |
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