| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 3/31/2008 11:26:51 PM | Looks like that slut Mable gone and cheated on me
But she always did say she wanted to stay free
I've been left behind
It's blowing my mind
Now I'll never again be able to watch Mable pee
Mable's toilet manners are as bad as her etiquette
She leaves up the toilet seat always forgets
Never washes her hands
Never flushes the pan
The door is left open and the floor is left wet | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:23:20 AM | Mable has always been a sucker for a trucker
I think it's because she would like a trucker to hug her
She likes to ride
Sitting by his side
So she can toot the horn and then call him her mucker
A big hairy trucker is Mable's kinda guy
She's not really fussy if like the Cyclops he has one eye
She likes shiney chrome
It's religious just like Rome
And shes really in heaven if he has big strong thighs
Mable likes to ride up and down the interstate highways
And she has this fascination of stopping for quick lays
She loves truckers cabs
In them she goes mad
She gets so excited she has even offered to pay | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/1/2008 4:14:46 PM | but mable's fave is still her bird
her love for him is simply unheard
she'll do anything for him
even though it's a sin
a love like that is simply absurd...
(hope you're not working too hard!!) | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/1/2008 5:14:28 PM | Heard in distance familiar sound
Roar of diesel breakin' ground
Chrome pipes an' shiny wheels
Pining to in heart mable feels
An' the big iron crests the hill..
mable can not help that tingle
heart felt from metal jingle
air brakes applied to dust settle
to heart beat is her mettle
Oooo! Shiny chrome an' gear sticks! | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/2/2008 1:03:17 PM | Mable always wanted to be at the wheel
She liked the grip of the gears to feel
She loves the opening roads
Where she can run down some toads
But she has trouble driving due to her high heels
The feel of metal rubbing against her ass*
She allows hitch-hikers to make a pass
But you better beware
Take some care
You will need some stamina to make it last
Mable likes real men and not young boys
In her cab she keeps lots of strange toys
So don't ever get in
Never take her gin
Or you might find that your soul is totally destroyed
For Mable will love and leave you along the interstate
So don't be expecting more than one date
She's moving along
Singing her own song
And whatever you do, don't you come late | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/2/2008 4:05:20 PM | The story of trucker named Jake
Free wheeling down mountain trip make
Fought with gravity to heated brake fade
White knuckled clench marks on wheel made
Relieved ends not the thoughts of ol' Jake.
Considered the science and mechanics apply
Jake was no scholar of institutions imply
Gave thought to retarded engine exhaust
Brake fade no more on mountain trip lost
Flick o' a switch exhaust brake named for Jake! | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/2/2008 4:18:23 PM | flick o' a switch exhaust brake named for jake
hearing this, mable didn't know what to make
the thought of flickin'
and even lickin'
had mable carried away, for goodness sake
yep, the truckers life for she
being as happy as a bee
she loved that chrome
called it home
forever servicing thee
she got quite handy under the hood
she got rather good
at changing the oil
all the work and the toil
and then she played, as she should
mable thought about life on the road
sometimes it got rather cold
the men in their trucks
liked nothing but to 'shucks'
she was wondering if she was getting too old
not to say she doesn't like to play
she can do that all night and day
but the road life is hard
without a full deck of cards
and she misses her table and its ways | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/2/2008 4:44:12 PM | Engine brakes named for ol' Jake
Hated for the noise they make
Designed for use on mountain
On level ground used far too often
Thus signage..PLEASE..no engine brake.
Decks of cards less than full
Sometimes hired freight to pull
Shiny chrome and closet bunk
Living in someone's metal junk
Ah! The foolish free to be a fool! | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/3/2008 12:51:48 PM | Poor old Jake at birth was dealt a bad hand
Hence at times his head was in the sand
He could not figure out
What brakes were all about
Jake the trucker was an idiot of a man
Jake was even worst at reading signs and directions
Hence he usually missed his numerous connections
He was half blind
Since the age of nine
It was seventeen before he found his first erection
Jake's been travelling from east to west
Always wearing the same string vest
He's very shy
He's not sure why
It might have something to do with his hairy chest
Jake is still waiting to first have sex
At 47 he is entitled to feel vexed
But his old string vest
And his hairy chest
Suggest that first his chest will need waxed
But Mable likes men with a hairy chest
She loves the touch and to caress
If his luck is in
He might get some sin
And then he will know he was with the best | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/3/2008 8:05:53 PM | aboard the streamline train
joyous passengers refrain
consumed the hooch
stole a smooch
gazin' out the window pane.
sleeper to rest
dreamed of best
awakened in the morn
sore head from previous worn
ooo. ol' head feels pretty messed. | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/3/2008 8:29:10 PM | mable needed to get away
no longer could she stay that way
so she took a train
in the cold and rain
and started looking for a brighter day
the conductor called ‘all aboard’
and mable’s heart did it soar
she loved a man with whiskers
especially after a little liquor
one look at him and she wanted more
but then she saw the throttle puller
and her heart felt even fuller
a man in charge
who’s really quite large
she just had to get out her ruler
oh mable was really in heaven
they did it 3 times plus seven
the engineer was a keeper
not much of a sleeper
she thinks his name might be devin
still one thing the lady did miss
the place where she loves to kiss
what was absent was her table
the true love of mables
the thought of it brought her bliss | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/3/2008 9:37:11 PM | Ah that ol' throttle puller
Life at head end much fuller
One eyed along the track
Ol' mable won't be comin' back
Mused conductor understood 'er.
That poor ol' trucker jake
Inventor of the engine brake
Alas goes unrecognized
For increased noise chastised
Mr. Jacob's patent not forsake.
Story true of engine brake
Named for Jacob 'Jake Brake'
Held back upon moutain steep
Speed for safety all to keep
Simple truth for heaven's sake.
Mountain climbed in low gear
For sooth descent is the fear
Brakes fade of heat overuse
Jacob's brake prevents brake abuse
Safe decent on mountains most clear.
Safe decended moutainside
Parked at truck stop subside
Smile's of pretty mable
Welcome sight that table
Chrome stacks with gleaming pride.
Mable smile seen bright
Chrome shone to her delight
Throttles pulled not compare
Nor whiskers with standing there
Chrome beckoning diesel in sunlight. | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/5/2008 3:21:00 AM | mable was so glad the weekend was here
she smoked her cigs and drank some beer
then decided to go out, yes on the prowl
started to yell and started to howl
looking for a man to hold so dear
you see, sometimes mable just wants to feel
to hold a man, to hug something so real
she loves the sex, don't get me wrong
but to snuggle all night has been far too long
she yearned for that so her soul would heal
after howling and yelling she came upon ed
a gentlemen who likes to talk dirty in bed
but he did like to snuggle
like a bug in a rug, well....
in mables ear this is what he said...
mable you slut, you tart, you whore
i love your tits, i simple adore
and what a fine ass
spanking it is a blast
i've spanked so hard that my hand is sore
with those words she felt a tingle in her toes
on the windowsill she saw a bird and a rose
she took it as a sign
to have a mighty good time
and with that out the window went her woes | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/5/2008 12:17:06 PM | Mable has culture, it's the culture of the street
She can hip and hop to the sound of the beat
She can jive and talk
She can do the walk
In her own neighbourhood she's one of the elite
Mable don't like flowers taken from the ground
She knows within days they all turn brown
She likes the living
Cause she's very giving
And all dead things make Mable frown
Mable appreciates great works of art and science
She has what could be called a scientific appliance
She calls him Samson
Cause he's big and handsome
And on that scientific marvel Mable shows increasing reliance
Mable once pricked her fingers on a thorn
So when given roses Mable is emotionally torn
She could not read the art review
Her fingers were to few
So instead Mable decided to watch porn | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/5/2008 1:03:05 PM | Rose and Mable watch porn together
The two of them are like two birds of a feather
They get their kicks
Going to the flicks
When there's nothing to do because of the weather
Rose and Mable both went to see Black Emanuelle
Rose saw a hugh penis and let out a yell
Mable looked agog
Prayed to her God
That was the day Rose came out of her shell
Mable has been a corrupt influence on Rose
She tries to get Rose to stick things up her nose
But Rose gets the sneezes
Then pants and wheezes
And goes back to reading Shakespear and other fine prose
Mable and Rose once tried a foresome
But poor old Rose just got a bit lonesome
Four in the bed
Does in one's head
Especially as both men were not very handsome | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/5/2008 1:24:59 PM | yep, ol' mable taught me a few tricks...
and so did the educational flicks
i had never seen porn
and was really torn
because the plot just made me sick
but there's more to movies than just the plot
mable showed me a scene that hit the spot
oh me, oh my
let's give it a try
so a bunch of toys is what we bought
so we had to find a free spirited guy
we thought ol' bird might give it a try
when we asked him in
he started to begin
to get all nervous and started to cry..
oh my bird, now come with me
to him was mables quiet plea
won't you try some
we'll have a lot of fun..
and with that ol' bird did flee
i do wonder what when through his head
when he saw our toys on the bed
i guess he was just nervous
and didn't want to be serviced
so mable and i played cards instead | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/5/2008 1:41:09 PM | Old Mable and Rose scared Bird half to death
His jeans were brown before he left
He ass is small
Samson is tall
Bird took to his heels looking quite deft
Bird's not going to take anything up his rectum
So Mable and Rose effectively sacked him
They payed strip poker
Mable got the joker
Then Rose did something on the strenght of a whim! | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/5/2008 4:03:45 PM | What have they done to poor mable?
The woman so fabled and able
She'd turn in her grave
If a toss she 'deed gave
But she's busy right now with a table
For old Mable insatiable tart
Moved to Mathston to make a new start
The locals all love 'er
For she's not under cover
Any 'table' at all, those legs part
So she's happier than she's ever been
And the locals are all very keen
Reciting their tables
Keeps Mable so able
And the boys are all hung like roof beams | |
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| Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 4/5/2008 5:07:17 PM | What done to lady mable
To be frank most able
With toasted bun
An' lottsa'fun
Warmth not felt since th' cradle.
Passion felt within
Lovers thought sin
Uninhibited express
Able mable undress
Heart felt expressed within.
Colours of rainbow!
Seen in the throw!
Pleasure delight!
Sensual bright!
Relaxed in sweet afterglow.
Snuggled is She
Comforted be
Respected admired
Freedom unmired
Contented in heart of glee.
Throttles pulled
Hearts fufilled
No need o' Jake
Or any brake
Satisfaction cup overspilled! | |
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