| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 5/27/2008 2:25:27 PM | Will Barrack and Hillary finally get wed
Will Old Bill allow the pair to climb into bed
He can then blow his harmonica
Just like poor Monica
For the first time in years Hillary may get laid
Do you think Obama will stick it to Hillary
Liquid can travel upwards it's called capillary
Who will get on top
Cause Hillary never stops
Not matter how much she gets continually pillaried
Black on top of white just don't seem quite right
So roll over Hillary, Barack hold on tight
Hillary wants to ride
With you by her side
Don't walk in now Chelsea you might get a fright
Poor old John McCain will have to sit this one out
No more riding or dancing because of his gout
If he can't get erected
He'll never get elected
It seems poor old John is facing a rout
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 5/28/2008 12:43:03 AM | The cost of petrol is rising it's a real disgrace
But the Tax man is smiling the other side of his face
My spending goes down
He increases his pounds
Then he spends all my money on public sector waste
Jez, at £6 a gallon for car diesal it's a bloody sin
£550.00 for my heating oil I wonder if it would run on gin
But the Exchequer feint's surprise
Cause it's benefiting from each bloody rise
As indirect taxation always means the Government winds
The Government gets richer, we become poor
We work our asses of for that fcuking auld whore
Give us some of our wealth back
Cause you are all getting sacked
Gordon hand-over the keys of No10's front door | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 5/28/2008 1:09:51 AM | Oh Bird, just as me hot blood was surgin'
You say you desire a fifty year old virgin,
The calendar's too cruel
Making me overstep one rule,
But my kids' view of my purity I still urge'in | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 5/28/2008 10:07:47 AM | Some girls I know are virgin on the ridiculous
Their absence in church is always conspicuous
Then they spend hours in confession
Detailing their weird passions
And the priest takes notes which are always meticulous
To hell with the santity of the confessional
The priest ai'nt no doctor he's no hypyocrical professional
They all compare notes
The randy old goats
Then they go and do thangs that others think irrational! | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 5/28/2008 6:49:40 PM | Well, after all there are all kinds of people
Including those who preach neath a steople
As we prayerfully kneel on the hassocks
Who cares what lurks in the cassocks?
Trying to fulfil a passion in any fashion can make anyone weople | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 5/29/2008 11:21:53 AM | I was once tempted to wear the saintly collar
But then I decided to become a great scholar
I made a great mistake
Mistook my fate
Cause all I seem to do is yell and hollar
I was once ordered to take a vow of chastity
Then I must admit I got decidely nasty
A man being chaste
What a disgrace
So I left the church very hasty
Then I heard about the great sins of clergy
Jez why was I in so much of a hurry
Vicars fornicating with those in the choir
Nuns fulfilling their lustful desires
Now no sex in a year I'm starting to worry | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:40:53 PM | I was wondering about the old folks and pubs.Their opinions on the united states.And all the women lured to the streets of gold.
What would the old folk think.
To who ever buys the next drink.
Will they say she was lured by witches.
Who's wives have all become ****es.
Who can't grow their own.
For their hearts are of stone.
Couldn't scratch their own arse if it itches lol | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:41:35 PM | I was wondering about the old folks and pubs.Their opinions on the united states.And all the women lured to the streets of gold.
What would the old folk think.
To who ever buys the next drink.
Will they say she was lured by witches.
Who's wives have all become ****es.
Who can't grow their own.
For their hearts are of stone.
Couldn't scratch their own arse if it itches lol | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 5/29/2008 11:11:58 PM | It was so bloody good it was posted twice
Wasn't that wonderful, wasn't that nice
Twice the fun
Reading about women's bums
Aah but that's just another of my secret vice | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 5/30/2008 1:49:40 AM | Now I'd considered becoming a mission-airy
Which all in all wasn't all too vision-airy
Why, even the position
Is a ridiculous condition
When there are so many great ways to vairy | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 5/30/2008 3:42:32 AM | Get behind me Satan I have to confess
I quite like your horns but you don't suit that dress
Red is so last year
You no longer strike fear
And your rod is no weapon I am not impressed | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 5/30/2008 9:09:02 AM | Take care in the way that you talk
Getting Satan behind with his fork
It could become wicked
Where he chooses to sticked
Which could interfere with the way you can walk | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 5/30/2008 9:14:10 AM | I walk very funny they told me I had piles
Thus when I walk pass all the girls smile
My arse sits out to the rear
Brings to my eye many a tear
For I get my rock hard but pinched many a time | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 5/31/2008 4:55:43 PM | Me and satan sat down for a chat
I'll trade you this if you trade me that
no way said the spirit
no need to fear it
horns make you horny and that's where it's at | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:26:07 AM | Is being hard, hot and horny a terrible sin
Is it the work of the devil or a grown up whim
I'm no devil's apostle
Disregarding the Gospels
But please someone tell what on earth is a quim!?
I'm really a lamb among a bunch of pervs
All this talk about sex just get's on my nerves
I should talk about art
Cause it's dear to my heart
And all those Rubens with the shapely curves
My last girlfriend looked like a painting of Picasso
Her tits were round about where her ass was
She had angular features
A decidely strange creature
But when we had sex there was a bit of a buzz | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 6/1/2008 10:53:50 PM | love to see the swan and the bird
exchanging all their brilliant words
watching as their thoughts are shared
hard for me to even compare
their poetry of wonder and allure
(love you both!!!) | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:46:35 AM | margot my dear, your limericks are fun
often i think they are number one
and even bird
who's a little weird
is quite good when he's on a run!!!
(mwah,margot!....and yes, you are right...axeman is indeed in the hall of fame, i proclaim!!) | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 6/2/2008 10:20:36 AM | Margot, my dear and Rose so sweet
your flattery lifts me off my feet
but without you here
I sure do fear
my rhyming would be incomplete
To be inducted into the hall of fame
for playing along with the limerick game
just makes no sense
better recompense
would be a place in the hall of shame | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 6/2/2008 11:13:13 AM | Oh my God a mutual admiration society
No room here for any noteriety
This is so awfully nice
Let's throw confetti and rice
Now can we get back to sexual anxiety!!
Bird wants to lower the tone
Discuss big breasts and have a loud moan
Not be sychophantic
Or anything romantic
What's that I hear the sound of a groan | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 6/2/2008 11:29:33 AM | You can grown and moan all the day long
But can you imagine what's under this thong?
Your last girlfriend's breast hung below her bum?
as boyfriends go, I wonder, were you the only one?
I can't stop laughing while writing this down
It wouldn't have come to me, if you weren't such a clown. 
Never a dull moment,
When the bird is around. | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 6/2/2008 12:11:20 PM | If we all got paid by the word
the lions share would go to Bird
he's very verbose
more insightful than most
but instead its a debt he's incurred
For to write and rhyme all day
in a place where there is no pay
leaves no time for a career
but have a beer
because Bird is here to stay | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 6/2/2008 1:58:57 PM | Are we all wasters with nothing else to do
Sitting at our computers feeling sad and blue
Does no one every work
Do we all sit and shirk
Writing ditties on the computer does it pay you
Has any one ever got a date on this bloody site
I wonder if my words cause women fright
Can anyone explain
Why my new found fame
Can't seem to find me a Mrs Right
Surely it's not to much for me to ask
To have a women with a lovely small ass
Just two little tits
No other extra bits
Why pray tell is God not up to the task
Surely tonight my prayers will get answered
But please God don't send me any old chancers
Someone who's slim
Goes to the gym
And when she gets home is a belly dancer
I could expand on my list of demands
I could ask for a woman who is so grand
But alive is sufficient
Unintelligent is not deficient
But please God don't send me an ugly auld man
Why does my brutal honestly not appeal
And women want a ring and a man to kneel
My knees are knackered
My willy looks haggard
Why oh why can I not cop a feel
So many riddles of life left to resolve
As I sit and type at this here console
Who cares about CO emissions
I'm on a greater mission
To find the missing link to my innocent soul
Don't you dare laugh it's not a bloody joke
I just don't want a woman just to poke
I want romance and flowers
And ivory towers
Before I get older and have my first stroke
Shit* this has gone on and do you still read
Have you nothing better to do, go on concede
You must still be in work
You bunch of jerks
I have to go and hopefully sow my seed | |
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