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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/8/2008 5:50:21 PM | now I think I detect your miscue
facial hair should have been a clue
don't look to blow your wad
with a football squad
go for the cheerleaders next time, won't you? | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/8/2008 7:47:11 PM | never mind.....messed up syllable counts....gosh, limericks are so hard to write i find!!
i checked out how and they said 88668 syllable lines
and the eights should rhyme, and the sixes should rhyme.....all so challenging! | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/9/2008 2:24:44 AM | limericks here traditionally
aren't taken seriously
the rhyme pattern we got
the syllables we do not
it's really not a mystery
take my lead from the irishman
if he can do it, we all can
he can sure shout
but can he count
without the humour it's too bland
So back to iceman, the bird and the rock
they all did the strangest thing with their sock
in privacy of course
after their divorce....
....hey, i don't believe it, think it's all talk!! | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/9/2008 2:57:40 AM | to sham and rose -
thanks guys for your words of advice
just goes to show you're all very nice
i'll try and take your word
not feel like such a nerd
have fun, be funny, and add more spice! | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/9/2008 3:00:17 AM | I must try harder to be politically correct
But it's so hard when it won't get erect
If only I could get stiff
Give life a little lift
I might sometime earn some respect
But in the meantime!
The Adventures of Gay Gordon!
There was a man called Gay Gordon
He came from a town called Invergordon
Gordon liked his co*k
As stiff as a rock
That's what he kept under his sporran
Now Gordon was fond of a fling
I think that's a quaint Scottish thing
He liked older Irish men
To be his best friend
But most of all Gordon liked bling
At the sound of the pipes Gordon went erect
Then would any old Sassenach attack
He could do a good reel
For the price of a feel
But only if from his same sex
Gordon has bright red curly ginger hair
He thought that so terribly unfair
Getting called a ginger beer
Was a bloody great smear
So he keeps a dirk within his underwear | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/9/2008 6:50:56 AM | oh that man from the cloth
was attracted to her like light to a moth
with her fine @ss
and her hair of brass
her lips around him he did sought
oh and she love his bald head
she rubbed it in bed
he was pleased as can be
until he caught the disease
of syphilis, now enough said | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/9/2008 1:22:55 PM | and so he prayed to his God
said, "God, this may sound odd"
I tried to refrain
forgive me, AGAIN
but she had such a terrific bod
Then the clouds above they did part
giving preacher man quite a start
said god, "I debated
but the clap, I created
instead of stopping your heart" | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/9/2008 1:41:58 PM | The Adventures of Gay Gordon (Part ii)
Gay Gordon was prancing around the Glens
Accompanied by his band of merry men
He was ever so bold
And it was previously foretold
That in the Glens you can catch your end
Gordon was from the Clan MacDonald
No not the one named after Ronald
His family were from Glencoe
Where no Campbells ever go
And Gordon couldn't go to Dundonald
The Highlands are a treacherous place to be
For up in those hills kilts swing free
Gordon's tartan was pink red
To match his bed spread
Gordon swore the Trossach's he'd see
Gordon never liked to wear the troosers
He thought troosers were for losers
He liked frilly tights
But never fist fights
So Gordon stayed out of the boozers
Gordon went up to Loch ness
Later on he had to confess
A monster he had seen
Big and lime green
The monster left Gordon impressed
The monster belonged to Prince Charlie
He and Gay Gordon got very pally
The monster was called Bonnie
Gordon thought that was funny
Prince Charlie called Gordon a wally
Up to Culloden our Gordon did go
There the ground was covered in deep snow
He met Cumberland's army
Who thought Gordon barmy
His pink tartan stole the Culloden show
Gordon travelled down to Aberdeen
He had hoped to meet up with the Queen
The Queen wore a crown
A silk sequence gown
Which made Gay Gordon look green
It was here Gordon met a rigger (*)
Who showed Gordon something much bigger
He came from the oil fields
Had a male macho appeal
And approched life and Gordon with vigour
Gay Gordon was invited onto the oil fields
Promised a quick grope and a feel
Gordon went weak at the knees
Said Oh yes please
Then started dancing a Highland reel
Gordon soon after met Hamish and Jock
All three started comparing their co*ks
Hamish's was wee
Jock's couldn't pea
And Gordon's went as hard as a rock
(* - someone who works on the oil rigs) | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/9/2008 2:33:14 PM | Shamrockguy come back and have some fun
Promise you Gordon doesn't fancy your bum
You can have your shenanigans here
It's me they think is queer
Share your witty humour with everyone
Shamrockguy I'll have to play with myself
Like some loser left up on the shelf
Iceaxe will cry
Rosie will die
And Gay Gordon will fall into ill health
Where else can you be vile and debauch
Take about your ass and your crotch
You know that limericks
Are for those who are sick
And others who are slightly touched | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/9/2008 2:46:48 PM | You liar you came back for Gay Gordon
Pray on your knees for a pardon
Now everyone can see
You are just like me
Will do anything to get a hard on
(bad time of the month!) | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/9/2008 3:24:40 PM | You're still going through your midlife crisis
It's all those rising oil prices
Still POF is for free
But it's no use for me
Cause they all say I'm capricious
My friend G Gs a complete acronism
In the Highlands he created a great schism
They said he was insane
When he fancied John Wayne
I think that he meant John Chisom | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/9/2008 4:28:36 PM | there once were two boys who were scrapp'n
geeze testerone can get things a'happen'n
their words could be terse
though it could be much worse
could have been down and out real right 'crappin
there once was a man down the street
who had most unusual feet
he would show all the girls
how he'd do 10lb curls
with the barbells - it really was neat. | |
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