|
|
|
|
|
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/7/2007 8:53:06 AM | .. . .Great Irish Toast
John O'Donald hoisted his beer and said,
"Here's to spending the rest of me life,
. between the legs of me wife!"
.
.That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
.
.He went home and told his wife, Marian,
."I won the prize for the Best toast of the night"
.
.She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
. John said,
."Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
.
."Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Marian said.
.
.The next day,
.Marian ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.
.The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize
..the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Marian."
.
.She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself.
.You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years.
.Once he fell asleep,
.and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come. | |
|
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/7/2007 8:57:44 AM | There is a fine fella who snickers
at all of the pickety pickers
running six lines of jive
when limricks have five
But thats how they get their high kickers
Does not include Irish Jokes. Are there no good Irish men and women to defend themselves here? | |
|
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/7/2007 10:43:57 AM | Toast in praise of strong whiskey
I felt it like a torchlight procession going down my throat.
There was a Sweet Lady whose bonnet,
Came untied when the birds sat upon it;
She said: 'I really don't care
About the birds that are there,
Birds are welcome to sit on me bonnet.' | |
|
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/7/2007 11:06:01 AM | . . Toast of an unfortunate one
. He is always in the field when luck is on the road.
. . If you knew a wood chuck named Chuck
. . How much could a wood chuck, chuck,
. . If a wood chuck could chuck wood.?
. . As much as a wood chuck, could chuck
. . if a wood chuck chucked wood.
. Hey! Any body seen Chuck O'Reilly? | |
|
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/7/2007 11:30:48 AM |
. Hijacked this one from bluebrummie… Birmingham - England….
, A man walks into a pub
, with a lump of tarmac under his arm.
. A pint please, landlord' he says.
. And one for the road'.
. (Timpani) | |
|
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/7/2007 11:51:16 AM |
Toast of an impish child
That one suffers from a double dose of original sin.
There was a Sweet Lady of Chyde,
Her shoe-strings were seldom tied.
She purchased some clogs,
And some cute fancy togs,
And skipped away with her pal Clyde. | |
|
| |
| |
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/7/2007 12:07:12 PM | . Thanks Dizzabella, your way better than this feller!
. Dizzabella and and her Irish fella Jed
. Said,”Can you stand up on your head?”
. He flopped an tried
. She tried an cried
. He said, “Let go get us a pint instead.” | |
|
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/7/2007 12:19:14 PM | . Do you buy more than 50 pounds of cat litter a month?
“Oh, I’m cravin for the ravin" he said
As he pulled the covers over his head
Cover my nose
Tuck in the toes
Going to dream about a women in red | |
|
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/7/2007 12:42:28 PM | Meet poor unfortunate Mick
With no home, no job and was sick
he was offered a silver platter
from a large gal, but it didn't matter
For her possessions sure did the trick. | |
|
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/7/2007 1:06:25 PM | Thanks awakening for a great limerick!
Toast of a useless fellow
He's fit to mind mice at a crossroads.
Looking for a big, big gal to do tricks
Chose one, played guard for the Nicks
Drank all my wines
Ate all the limes
Now all I got left is some swizzle sticks
. | |
|
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/7/2007 7:18:56 PM | Big gals jumping high for the hoop
has really left my mind in a loop
This visual is funny
You can bet on the money
that the team wins, as that is the scoop | |
|
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/7/2007 10:17:15 PM | Young Babies haven't any hair;
Old men's heads are just as bare;
between the cradle and the grave
You will get a haircut and a shave
to look like a prince, not a knave | |
|
| |
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/7/2007 10:37:34 PM | . One's real life is so often the life that one does not lead.
. She only wants to learn to hoola hoop
. Aren’t cha' going to make some soup?
. Taters an’ pork,
. Good on a fork
. Tasted worst'er than gruel, it was goop | |
|
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/7/2007 10:52:36 PM | . Dizzabella, you give me the giggles!
. Don’t ever think about an early grave
. You gotta’ get right up and shave
. Rub a dub dub
. Going to the pub
. And make eyes at the sister of Dave
| |
|
| |
| |
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 2:35:21 AM | . Judge of a jest when you have done laughing….William Lloyd ~
. Irishmen Get What They Came For
. An Irishman is the only man in
. the world who will step over the
. bodies of a dozen naked women
. to reach to get a bottle of Stout.
. Ho-boy! | |
|
| |
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 4:30:35 AM | awakening your name sure fits, 7:00 am post,
Hey! Do you work midnights at the hospital?
Irishmen always have time for Stout
When they can’t get it, they will pout
Hear them cry
I am so dry!
Couple of Stout ,will cure a pout a lot | |
|
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:04:11 AM | . Ireland for Dummies a Beginners Guide
. Irish People and the Weather
. It is often said that the Irish are a Mediterranean
. people who only come into their own when the
. sun shines on consecutive days
. (which it last did around the time of St Patrick).
. For this reason, Irish people dress for conditions
. in Palermo rather than Dublin; and it is not unusual
. in March to see young people sipping cool beer out
. side city pubs and cafes, enjoying the air and the
. soft caress of hailstones on their skin.
. The Irish attitude to weather is the ultimate triumph
. of optimism over experience: Every time it rains, we
. look up at the sky and are shocked and betrayed.
. Then we go out and buy a new umbrella. | |
|
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:16:51 AM | I love to write limericks. They are my favorite poetry!!! Great thread..
There once was a silly old mate,
Who never left food on his plate,
He was fat as a house
And he had no spouse
Because he loved what he ate. | |
|
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:22:59 AM | Boy Psychics
They can tell things by seeing through walls,
And they can keep you from having close calls,
When it's all said and done,
It's really quite fun,
But, do they really have crystal balls? | |
|
|
| Page 27 of 150
|
13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53 |
|
Home
login 