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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:25:31 AM | Thanks peltonmj, share some more of your wit with us, good fun!
The poor wild monkey took
At Jim Flanagan, One look
And threw the peanuts, hmm,
Hurled right back at him
Made Jim feel like a Snook | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:35:08 AM | Wet Willie
There once was a man named Victor,
Who had a great wife, but he tricked her.
He said, "Come here my dear
and lend me your ear."
But instead he said nothing, he licked her. | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:38:29 AM | Great lines this morning Eye Guy. Thanks for the invite.
On Zen
There was a Great Master of none,
Whose work, it was never done.
Sat on his mountain all day
and had nothing to say
'Cause when you're silent you're One. | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:39:38 AM | Marrying an old bachelor is like buying second-hand furniture.
She never left food on her plate,
Food that I prepared for my date
Gobbled it down
Without a frown
She found a good cook by fate | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:41:04 AM | Tutenkaummen
In Egypt where Pyramids astound,
There are many great rooms underground.
Full of statues and gold,
That are centuries old.
That's where Daddies and Mummies are found. | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:43:47 AM | Zowee!...You are a riot, keep em' comming
The limerick packs laughs anatomical,
Into space that is quite economical;
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean,
and the clean ones are so seldom comical. | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:51:56 AM | yes my cat doesn't use cat litter..he's picky..likes to go outside..
by the way eye guy your funny..lol
it's a mission to be impossible
so leave it at that .. it's lossable
sit by the fire
and read a good book
and wonder aloud was it credible? | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:58:03 AM | ok,one more. You guys are really good at this.
OH Yes!
There once was a lady alone,
Who was ugly right down to the bone.
The best we could tell,
Why she'd scream and yell
is, she was having great sex on the phone. | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 8:04:32 AM | have a good day^^^^
there once was a bone in the phone
that didn't like it alone
so put two together
and out came a feather
that's what happens to birds of a weather | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 8:05:50 AM | Cause and Effect
There once was a silly ol' rhyme.
The motives behind it were fine.
'Cause the world as we know it
Can be goosed by the poet,
And we do it one line at a time. | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 8:14:59 AM | Thanks miturn-mist, You got em rollin’ over.
Now don’t every body get on the same side of the booooaat !....Ker-Plunk!
Crash Landing stormed out of the door
With Murphy and Jack and some more.
While freezing outside
On that motorbike ride
Was his mummy's long coat that he wore. | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 9:00:57 AM | The Secret
Hi miturn-mist. Pleased to greet you. Was wondering tho’
Looking at your photo …Hmmm …No!, I don’t figure.?..no,!
Laid down sideways to study photo…Hmmm! Nope, not yet…
Sorry, gotta’ ask! What part of your body ARE we looking at?
Looks like quite an interesting orifice…or two!
I don’t mind the Green Skin…Shhhh!..Wasn’t going to share this
secret with every one here, but I meet your kind a few years ago.
Do you remember me? I was there when the mother-ship landed in
Pennsylvania…Greenies kept me three days…Yep! ..I’m still pregnant.
Still carrying the egg on my back like a papoose. How much longer?
Please call ! | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 10:27:59 AM | Cats seem to go on the principle that it never
does any harm to ask for what you want."…………….Joseph Wood Krutch
Wild Porky grilled dinner is a great winner
Scarfin’ grilled porky won’t get you thinner
Grilled Porky an’ ale
Hit right on the nail
So yummy to my tummy, I feel like a sinner | |
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ebgdae
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 692 | |
| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 12:19:04 PM | about ants I had heard some weird claims
on sunny days when your out playing games
but just sit on your ass
and through a magnifying glass
see how often they burst into flames | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 2:48:35 PM | LOL, No eye guy I don't work shifts.
Your limerick made me giggle, so I just HAD to respond to it. (Not a morning person and I lost my head? lol)
There's days when I should just stay in bed,
But a limerick was waiting to be red,
So I sprung to the floor,
and out through the door,
Made coffee and had a giggle instead. | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 3:22:33 PM | When a curve you've been thrown flaps your face
Regain composure, dust off, save your grace
It isn't the end
not for this gal my friend
I'm so ready to get back in the race | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 4:04:45 PM | . G'DAY – WELCOME. ebgdae for dropping in from Brisbane,
. Waiting for your next limerick. From down under
. Look what I dug up. Time for a Aussie Limerick
. So you reckon you're really an Aussie?
. Well tell me, True Blue, what's a cossie?
. Doncha come the raw prawn!
. Whenya think I was born?
. Next you'll tell me yer budgie's a mozzie!
. We have nasty fire ants in the South, in Florida and Texas. You
. Want to have some fun? Try this…Get your chicken feed scoop,
. Knock off the top of the ant hill. Scoop up half a pound of them
. Ants, pour em’ into the smallest paper bag you got. Hurry, twist the
. Top of the bag into a long wick. Light it good., and give it a good toss.
. When those ants explode, will sound like a M-80 fire cracker! Kids do
. it all day. Keeps the rabbits out of the garden, keeps the chicken hawks
. away, and those wild dogs stay away too now! Give er' a try at home.
. (If your ants are to dry, might have to dampen em' first with a little kerosene) | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 4:19:59 PM | Glad your still awake Ms. awakening
Google and a gaggle and a giggle she said
Can you wiggle a toe at the end of the bed
Get up sleepy head
Toast some bread
Got to fix your own now if you want to be fed | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 4:26:00 PM | . Another for down under
Naughty Cindy influenced Kitty
With tales of high times in the City
But Mrs. kenner said ‘No
You are not ready to go
Until you’ve become wiser and witty’. | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 5:12:32 PM | . For Awakening...up
. Your life lately been crapin’
. Your face is red from slapin’
. Worked it out somehow
. You’ll feel better now
. Time to get your feet tappin. | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 5:26:32 PM | A bird and a stone.
A dog and a bone.
I'm here all alone, on top of my throne.
This day will be mine, i've been given the sign.
To drink all your wine, a quarter past nine. | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/8/2007 5:41:56 PM | . Hi gainer900 Thanks for stopping by.
. Are you a swimmer? Is that a half gainer, or a gainer an' a half??
I’ll take you out to dine your highness
The new pub we will go to is the finest
We’ll drink some ale
Read our e-mail
Told you the ale will clear up your sinus
(still have not found out what the green thing in miturn-mist photo is yet) | |
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