| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/21/2007 8:10:36 AM | Oops! Got Caught!©
Now Amber my ex-wife is she
Demanded a high alimony
______ For parties and drink
______ I just don’t think
I’ll comply with the judges’ decree
A P.I. took photos for me
And ALL of Amber I see
______ With some guy in bed
______ I know she will dread
The loss of her alimony
Those photos of Amber in bed
(The ones I know she will dread
______ In them she’s nude
______ And so is the dude)
Taken while we were still wed!
Within these photos is proof
While livin’ under my roof
______ She thought she could screw
______ The dude (and me too!)
While remaining cool and aloof
Well, Amber, for you I’ve got news
You’ll be singing the blues
______ No alimony,
______ At least not from me
For you to buy rubbers and booze!
Now I hear that Amber’s new dude
Thought those pictures were rude
______ He’s all upset
______ Now Amber will get
Served papers in which she’ll be sued.
And to the unfaithful uncouth
You’ll not find comfort or sooth
______ Through alimony
______ Or judges’ decree
When you tell lies and half-truth. | |
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| Limericks...for Happy Irishmen too
Posted: 1/21/2007 8:56:44 AM | Geez
Holy Be jabbers man,
That’s one unhappy Irishman
…………………………………............
Hey!
Lets me buy a round farr' every one.
Lets have a toast and some music.
Paddy! I knowed yer gran'daddy!
Warr'is the man with the flute, son? | |
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| Limericks....Us Irish sure can tell a whopper
Posted: 1/21/2007 9:06:12 AM | There once was an artist named Saint,
Who swallowed some samples of paint.
All shades of the spectrum
Flowed out of his rectum
With a colorful lack of restraint. | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/21/2007 9:55:25 AM | Won’t Fit
An Irishmen engaged in transplants
His “endowments” there to enhance
______ ‘Twas big, it ‘twas bold
______ All coiled and rolled
But he couldn’t get into his pants! | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/21/2007 10:02:13 AM | The Stash
The lass said: “No more with you!”
The lad said: “What’ll I do … ”
______ With me estate and me cash
______ And the rest of me stash?”
After that the lass was on him like glue! | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/21/2007 10:18:49 AM | Losin’ the Mood
The lass had cuddled and cooed
In the small car she had wooed
______ But at the motel
______ From the small car to expel
He had to get out of the mood! | |
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| Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/21/2007 10:38:44 AM | Oops!
The lass she was large – she was round
In fact … she was just a round mound
______ But for him ‘twas alright
______ ‘Til later that night
She said: “Excuse me, but I’m upside down!” | |
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| Limericks....Us Irish sure can tell a whopper
Posted: 1/21/2007 5:48:08 PM | Once saw this knuckle dragging Honcho.
On the beach he didn’t look that Macho.
The guy looked like bad fruit
Wearing the Speedo bathing suit.
The guy should have been wearing a “Pancho". | |
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| pancho beta cappa
Posted: 1/21/2007 8:50:20 PM | there once was someone in the minority
he was so macho this one little chacho
he decided to join an all girl sorority
but ended up alone with his nachos
 | |
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| paddy's grandaddy
Posted: 1/21/2007 8:53:44 PM | paddy's grandaddy never give a toot
so drunk he sang to his thumb
no one will ever again play my flute
and quietly stuck it up his b*m | |
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| Irish is a Good Thing
Posted: 1/22/2007 2:33:49 AM | When she got out the whip, saw this is not charades
Personally I'm not into pain during my sexcapades ...
She beat me black and blue
Kicked me with her shoe
Said," When I’m through with you, you’ll need for first-aid!" | |
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pensky
|
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 64 | |
| Irish is a Good Thing
Posted: 1/22/2007 7:43:24 PM | 
Great thread!
He gave his fiance some string
Before he bound himself with a ring
When the tying was done
With a surprise for her hon'
He looked forward to what marriage would bring. | |
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| Irish Limericks is a Proper Thing
Posted: 1/22/2007 10:23:23 PM | He came back from the pawn shop with a ring
Now girl I will really make your heart ping
When they went to bed
Heard this is what she said
"You’r not gonna’ make me touch that thing!" | |
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| Irish Limericks is a Proper Thing
Posted: 1/22/2007 10:35:15 PM | Last night you were out with a hooker
Weren’t you tye’d up to a good looker
Turns out she is a prude
Married to Saint Jude
"Before I could get er', he took er’ " | |
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| Irish Limericks Wil Tell on You
Posted: 1/22/2007 11:07:36 PM | It Happens
At the pool hall all the men were playing snooker
In slaunterd a young good looking hooker
Will you buy me a beer?
You’r such a sweet dear.
Forget snooker, he grabbed the hooker and took her | |
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| Irish Limericks Wil Tell on You
Posted: 1/22/2007 11:17:53 PM | Somebody ran, locked the pool hall door
She said,”You mean here on the floor?”
The men let out roar!
Never saw this in here before!
Damn, anybody remember the game score? | |
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| Irish Limericks Wil Tell on You
Posted: 1/22/2007 11:28:26 PM | The bartender gave the men a wink
He was washing glasses in the sink
The men still huddled at the scene
“We got a new Pool Hall Queen”
All chipped in an bought her a mink | |
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| Irish Limericks Wil Tell on You
Posted: 1/22/2007 11:41:43 PM | End of the story, morning glory
It was nasty and it was hoary
So Girl,don’t be a fool
Don’t let him shoot pool
If he’s home, you don’t have to worry!
One wilted rose gets flung up on the stage.
"Thank you, Thank you! " (Takes a bow) | |
|
pensky
|
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 71 | |
| Irish Limericks Wil Tell on You
Posted: 1/23/2007 8:39:44 PM | There once was a spinster named Winnie
Who wanted one wish from a jeanie
The jeanie was wise
to give her her prize
Now he bounces on her trampolini | |
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| Irish Limericks are a bit Irish
Posted: 1/23/2007 8:50:33 PM | On my trampoline I jump high and I jump wide
I jump and jump so hard I feel it shake me inside
The old canvas finally tore
Ouch, my butt hit the floor
Sure got me really dizzy and I looked cross-eyed | |
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| Irish Limericks are a bit Irish
Posted: 1/23/2007 8:56:37 PM | There once was a poetry forum
Who tried to have proper decorum
But bad boys ran bare
wearing girls’ underwear
And they thought the decorum would bore ‘em. | |
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| Irish Limericks are a bit Irish
Posted: 1/23/2007 9:00:27 PM | I had a young dog named Wiinie the Poo
She liked to jump right beside me too
Dog landed on its chin
My face was a grin
Any thing I do, Poo sticks to me like glue | |
|
pensky
|
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 75 | |
| Irish Limericks are a bit Irish
Posted: 1/23/2007 9:00:49 PM | 
My green trampoline is so tangy
It makes my bottom feel stangy
So I fall on my belly
but then I feel swelly
and my tooth bites my tongue like a fangy. | |
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