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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 7:24:50 AM | You all are great. I gotta get to work. Bye from Austin, Texas.
Gotta be saying ado
great seeing all of you
be it truthful or dare
while cutting some hair
Very glad I have work to do | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 9:07:38 AM | A lady I met who's so dear
needs to take that step over the fear
and write for the young
as her journeys begun
to feel passion that's ever so near! | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 9:29:04 AM | My pipe that burst it does leak
and my patience is reachinig it's peak
"Oh Man what a bummer"
"Where the heck is the plumber"
Can't he see I can't wait till next week? | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 11:06:12 AM | Cat Survey: Do you have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the fridge?
None. I have dinner parties with my own version of Pate. Everyone seems to like it, except them.
There once was a cat loving Gal
Who’s cat was her very best pal
She’d far prefer
To pet her boy to purr
Than be out on a dead date with Hal. | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 11:07:35 AM | I met an amazing new friend
Who’s work in the world I’ll defend
For reaching the hearts
To encourage brave starts
Is the best healing, it truly mends. | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 12:54:53 PM | Im Gainer and ill be your plummer.
If you buy me a new shiny hummer.
I will grease all your pipes,
and ill do it just right,
if not you might have to wait till the summer. | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 1:00:14 PM | Is your new friend awakenings carebear?
Walking around her house in his white underwear?
Hes a pimp in the day, and at night he is gay,
Pull his finger and help care bear stare! | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 1:07:19 PM | How are Ya’ ebgdae from Brisbane Queensland
At home you got a long row to hoe
Now you write limericks like a pro
I’ve never seen the Aussie sights
Heed the warning, Every thing bites
You’re the man outstanding, in his row | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 1:18:36 PM | awakening, Do you need a life jacket?
how deep is the water in the kitchen?
If you don’t get relief from the plumber
Don’t you dare give him a new hummer
I’ll twist the leaky pipes tight
Wrench em’ with all my might
Use my mastic called Plumbers Gummer | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 2:00:13 PM | Sad Dead Date Hals (Poem almost to sad to tell)
At the Junk Yard was a pile of Hals
Thrown away, ..Not any bodys pals
Gals Kick em’ an’ nick em’
Gals Trick em’ an’ stick em’
Glad my mom named me “Pissy Pants”
Ya da da...da da da...da!.....Oh yeah! | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 2:12:30 PM | Laughing so hard here I can't type
and your wondering what is the hype
with gainers bummers & hummers
and eyeguys best gummers
Both your humour is perfectly ripe! | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 2:19:18 PM | The pipe it finally got cut
The plumber pulled me out of this rut
Although it's deceiving,
the best part came as he was leaving
which allowed me to check out his butt!  | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 2:36:38 PM | awakening
”Seen the new movie yet?”
Indiana Jones
Raiders of the lost Plumbers Butt Crack Tomb
You get to keep the plastic Butt Crack popcorn cup!
Ya da da...da ad da...da..........Oh Yeah! | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 2:48:08 PM | Hate to say this;
.Survey says,
“Jack is slack!”
Candle Stick Survey (1)
Jack is nimble
Jack is quick
But Seven Jills out of ten
Preferred the candlestick
Candle Stick Survey (2)
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
With a new candle stick
Jack was way too Quick
Jill preferred the candle stick....again!
Ya da da..da ad da...da......Ohhh Yeahhh! | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 3:00:44 PM | Here's a little question ill ask,
You might be just right for the task,
If jack was stuck on a horse,
Would you help jack off? Of course!
But you might wanna wear your facemask! | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 3:09:29 PM | Staring at the plummers buttcrack,
You'll never eat another bigmac,
When you see all that meat,
You'll start eating more wheat,
And you'll be jumping candles with jack. | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 3:35:09 PM | Well hurry dont make me wait too long,
Or your bear will grow into king kong,
and he'll make plummers buttcrack,
look like junior bigmac,
Just think of the size of that schlong! | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 3:56:24 PM | A farmer with three daughters
the first daughter's date arrivesand tells the farmer "hi I am eddy I'm here for betty is she ready?"they leave.the second dater gets there and says"Hi I'm joe I'm here for flo wer'e going to the show is she ready to go?" They leave, finally the last beau comes and says to the farmer"Hi my name is chuck"
I raed this one on a profile from a gal ireland paddy was tellin the fella's at the bar how he just got done fightin with his wife.After she came crawlin on her hands and knees .well that is
unusualhis pub mates said "Ya she told me to get out from under the bed and fight like a man." | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 4:05:07 PM | Maybe its over my head,
but those jokes are not funny theyre dead.
Take eddy, joe and chuck,
Toss em right in your truck,
Take em back to wherever they fled. | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 4:20:09 PM | my rhyme is weak yours is weaker
I found out who I am
but you you will always be a seeker
your rhyme is ham worse than spam
frankly Scarlet I don't give a da*n | |
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| Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/10/2007 7:06:55 PM | .The word war is over
. Game tied
. home team...0
. visitors .......0
. Rodriguez the proud Mexicano
. Spilled beer on his hotel divano…
. The maid asks “More sheets?”
. He ponders, then he bleats
“You sheet on my bed and I keel you! | |
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