| |
| Expecting your sweetie to do housework for you
Posted: 8/30/2007 12:44:48 AM | Lol, actually, I wound up helping with the cleaning at my ex's place more than she ever did at my appartment.
Either way, not really. I take care of my own messes. Sometimes I leave them for a few hours, or do the dishes in the morning, but I don't expect anyone to do it for me. | |
|
| Expecting your sweetie to do it for you
Posted: 8/30/2007 12:45:15 AM | Reality...
I hate doing housework. If I've got any other option... thats what I'm doing.
But... I can't just sit and watch someone else doing the housework... I'll get up and help.
I don't mind loading a washing machine or transferring stuff to the dryer... but I don't like folding the stuff and putting it away.
So by comparison to the old TV series "The Odd Couple"... I'm not as bad as Oscar, but I'm nowhere near a Felix either.
One of my brothers makes Felix look like a slob... and the other makes Oscar look neat. | |
|
| Expecting your sweetie to do it for you
Posted: 8/30/2007 9:35:45 AM | I think , that chores should always be shared. I work, He works, so what is the problem
My guy would have to be comfortable with all aspects household chores. | |
|
| Expecting your sweetie to do it for you
Posted: 8/30/2007 9:54:49 AM | I do my own housework...Since it isn't about to do itself, I don't really have a choice...and besides, you can only stuff so much garbage under a bed... | |
|
| Expecting your sweetie to do it for you
Posted: 8/30/2007 10:22:39 AM | I figure it this way, if both parties (or all if you have kids) work together to get the house work done, it gets done that much faster so you can have time to spendas a family/couple. I have slacked off at different times as have my previous partners in a relationship, it just happens sometimes when time demands spread you to thin, but it has all evened out across time. (for me anyway)
Me | |
|
| |
| Expecting your sweetie to do housework for you
Posted: 8/30/2007 11:46:34 AM | HAHAHA!!!! God Bless any man who thinks I am going to become his housekeeper! I have hired housekeepers for the last 15 yrs. I HATE housework, but LOVE a clean, neat & tidy house!
I got tired of beating myself up for being a terrible housekeeper. It has nothing to do with being lazy or incapable of doing it. I JUST HATE IT! Let me run three companies at the same time, (which I HAVE done in the past!) BUT NO housework PLEASE! OK I WILL do and/or share the cooking! I LOVE to cook! | |
|
| Expecting your sweetie to do housework for you
Posted: 8/30/2007 11:53:42 AM | There is a study published recently that showed that in every culture women do more housework than men, BUT in situations where the couple is cohabitating, men do more housework than if they're married! (It's still less than what women do, however.) Marriage tends to promote traditional roles, for some reason.
So, ladies, if you want more housework "help,", cohabitate, don't marry!  | |
|
| Expecting your sweetie to do housework for you
Posted: 8/30/2007 12:38:33 PM | I am a stay at home Dad,..So i do all the cleaning,. laundry,..cooking and from time to time do the repairs on the house,...BUT,
When we both were working ,..i have to admit,..i was a lazy slob,..cloths every wear,..dirty glasses left out over night,..empty soda or beer cans,...you get the idea.
When i had the day off i did help clean,...but it normally took a lecture to get me to do it.
But now,...its my wife who is a little lazy,...and i find that i am picking up behind her more than i do the kids!!!  ,...We laugh at the how we have reversed roles,..But thats ok,...She puts in a 10hr day at her job,...for me Its the least i can do to have a hot meal for her when she walks in the door.
JMO
Take Care You | |
|
| Expecting your sweetie to do housework for you
Posted: 8/30/2007 12:49:23 PM | | I think if you are in a serious relationship and things progress and you move in together then it should be split equal if both parties are working. That way you both get to sit down at the same time and talk about your day and enjoy the rest of the evening. | |
|
| Expecting your sweetie to do housework for you
Posted: 8/30/2007 1:02:47 PM | Well, from what I've seen, it's a question of priorities.
I have 2 married couples as friends.
In one couple, the wife has organised her husband that he does the cleaning on a Sunday, when he's not working and she usually is. She's ensured that he has all the right equipment, and if they are going out on a Sunday, then she helps him to decide when & how he will fit the cleaning into his schedule. But she does most of the cooking.
In the other couple, the wife leaves it to the husband to organise everything. He is a very busy businessman, and usually ends up concentrating on his work. She is a perfectionist, and when he does do anything, she always picks on him for something, even when he has done a lot of housework and cooking as well. Then, she decides to do everything herself, even a lot of the stuff that he has done already, because she is not happy with how it has been done. She says it is because if she won't do it, it won't get done. But the reality is that he does do housework quite often, just not organised in a fashion that satisfies her needs.
So I suspect that often, women will leave it to the men to do it all, to a very high standard of perfection. Then, when anything its not done, she will insult the man for not doing everything, and proceed to do the rest herself.
Unfortunately, this is a self-defeating method.
The man hears that he cannot do things right, again and again, until he believes that he can never do things without being insulted, and gives up, and stops trying. Then, the woman is left to do all of the housework by herself.
Often, women try to become their mothers. When their mothers are very critical of their daughters and their husbands, they pass this on to the daughters and they repeat the same mistakes as before. It takes an enlightened woman to recognise this and change.
Might I suggest that you be more encouraging to men for what they do, and less critical for what they don't, and organise a schedule that the man is happy to adopt?
In my estimation, people get more results in this way. | |
|
| Expecting your sweetie to do housework for you
Posted: 9/6/2007 7:41:24 AM | | Personally, when I was married I worked AND did the housework or at least 80-90% of it. She didn't work either. One reason I am divorced amongst others. In her case, she'd sit and watch TV, eating. The kids would run out of socks and such before she would do anything and in most cases I would mention it to her as they would come up to me of lack of clean clothes. Finally, I got tired of this and started doing it myself. I have NO problem doing this as I got used to it, besides it never hurts to help the other out. Housework used to be what they called the "woman's work", but now with both working to make ends meet, I think both should share ALL household chores. Now if I'm not working or she's not, to me the one not working can do things to assist the one that is. There is nothing wrong with that. I won't go into this, but I seen one reply here from a woman that laughed at doing housework. What has happened to a mutual or "old fashioned" relationship where both helped the other? Also I have to say, in the past I read where many men are going overseas to seek a wife(Why? You figure it out). I've talked to (for example) asian women on here (and from in the US too) and told them of some of the things ladies have written or said of them(such as they are slaves, maids, etc.) and ALL of the asian women said that is not the case. They want to take care of their husbands and treat him well knowing he has been out working all day supporting the family. They even say to them it is their pleasure to have dinner ready, a towel out for bathing and even sometimes GIVE them the bath. To me, I don't see that as a slave, but someone that wishes to treat her man good. She don't see herself as a slave or maid, just doing what she wants to, to please her husband in return for supporting the family. Tradition is different than here obviously. I personally have to tell you, if I had a woman like that...She'd have my love forever WITH a big smile. I'm sure I'll get slapped for writing this, but it is the truth, sorry. Shy of the bath thing, it used to be that way here too.. What happened and why? | |
|
| Expecting your sweetie to do housework for you
Posted: 9/6/2007 8:10:14 AM | Another study surveying U.S. men found that when the men reported that their wives were unhappy with the amount of household help they received in the past, their wives were more than twice as likely to have cheated on them compared to men who reported that their wives were basically okay with the amount of help received.
And the guys who helped more with housework had happier wives AND sex lives.
Moral: Help with housework! | |
|
| Expecting your sweetie to do housework for you
Posted: 9/6/2007 8:20:17 AM | I don't have that problem, I have a cleaner who comes every week, thank goodness for people like her, One day If a have a significant other living with me, I will be continuing using the services of a house cleaner, why should my wife do the housework, when I don't like doing it but i love having a clean place.
Moral of this story, hire a cleaner which gives you more time with the S.O.  | |
|
| Expecting your sweetie to do housework for you
Posted: 9/6/2007 8:25:18 AM | We shouldn't say that "men should help with the housework" first of all. Saying that assumes that is the woman's job to do housework by default, with the man having the option to "help". Shouldn't work that way!
Yes I expect my wife or gf to do the housework if we live together. I also expect myself to do the housework too! Sometimes I'll end up doing more and sometimes she will end up doing more, depending on schedules, circumstances, etc. No man should ever expect a woman to do all the housework...despite the outward appearance it didn't work in the 1950s and it won't work today. Teamwork makes a house much cleaner. Exception to the "about 50/50" rule..if someone is injured/sick..and if the woman is PREGNANT. My fellow men..we do the majority of the housework is she is carrying your child..no brainer..and especially kitty litter boxes..make sure she isn't going near a kitty litter box when pregnant! | |
|
| Expecting your sweetie to do housework for you
Posted: 9/6/2007 9:50:12 AM | I think when women are really serious about wanting men who do housework, they'll start cruising laundromats and the Cleaning Supplies aisle at Wally World for dates.
Not gonna happen. Until then, it's just more blather and mental abuse heaped on men to show how much they hate us.
If she expects me to ask her out and pay for her, why is it wrong for me to expect her to do all her traditional female role things, like housework? | |
|
| Expecting your sweetie to do housework for you
Posted: 9/6/2007 10:23:40 AM | | well the way i luk at it it shud be 50/50 just decide who does wat. if the girlfriend works longer hrs then the man does that little bit extra but if the man works longer hrs then the girlfrend shud do the extra and if neither of ye can cum to a compromise just do your own. men shud in this day and age be able 2 be as useful as women at house work ye can't mother us cos we suddenly move out of home just as long as no 1 takes advantage of the other just be fair. my ex did nothin she worked i did'nt so did everythin and then sum she just used me that is wrong that's using someones gud nature against them | |
|
| Expecting your sweetie to do housework for you
Posted: 9/6/2007 10:23:56 AM | | life_of_leisure (Msg: 68) wtf era did you get your head stuck in? i strongly object to your backwards thinking. i don't EXPECT my partner to support me or pay for me or ask me out...i'm quite happy to do all those things myself, and in fact PREFER to pay for myself. i won't put up with a guy who thinks that when we both come home from a 40 hour workweek that my gender OBLIGATES me to put in another 20-40 hours a week doing all the housework...sorry, that's just plain inconsiderate and lazy on his part. if he can help make the mess, he can help to clean it up too. those supposely "traditional female things" you refer to applied to a time where women were also traditionally stay-at-home housewives, not so many of those around anymore...and i for one wouldn't want to be one! | |
|
| |
| Expecting your sweetie to do housework for you
Posted: 9/6/2007 11:10:14 AM | | tedybear5: read my post above yours, i DON'T let my dates pay for me. real women have a backbone and don't let a guy treat them like a mommy or a maid. grow up! | |
|
| Expecting your sweetie to do housework for you
Posted: 9/6/2007 12:22:10 PM | NO..!!
A "SWEETIE" will H e l p with household chores . .
It's an issue of Respect, Admiration and Appreciation ..!!
{About the Only thing I absolutely Dispise is doing Dishes . . !!! -
BUT . . I'll Gladly _Help_ with them . . !! } | |
|
| |
| Expecting your sweetie to do housework for you
Posted: 9/6/2007 12:55:39 PM | | Or nothing?? And get dust on the birthday suit then? I don't think so. LOL. Also, subtle savage..you mention having cats and then being able to return the bug you planted in the house the next day. Well, I'd say you have defective cats to return..if they don't kill the bug then they didn't do their job. I don't have mice or bugs. I have two cats. Even my 8 month old siamese mix goes bonkers if he sees a spider. He is climbing the wall to get at that (literally). He just started doing that on his own one day. Besides, years of having been a single mom makes one more efficient at killing bugs when a spider is found in the bathroom where my daughter had gone into. I had to take care of it instantly. You'd think here was a big hole in the wall and water was leaking all over by her reaction to it. Now that she moved out, I just ask for a tissue to kill one if I notice any at her place. On the other hand though, a handyman is priceless. I am very grateful for their help. I'd do housework in return for that any day. | |
|
| Expecting your sweetie to do housework for you
Posted: 9/6/2007 1:42:55 PM | My goodness what interesting perspective here. I never figured it was right to draw lines and try to figure out the 50/50 thing or who should do what and when, how can that lead to harmony in the home. My opinion is that a relationship should be 100/100 percent.
Ok, so your hundred percent today is not as much as yesterday ..... so what ... if both partners are putting in what they are capable of then peace and harmony shall exist. It is when we draw lines as to how much the other person should do or how much we will do that the road often becomes too rocky to endure.
If I go to pick up a girl for our date and she is still trying to get ready and the vacuum is sitting out or there are dirty dishes in the sink then it certainly does not hurt me to do the dishes or finish the vacuuming etc.
MY father in law would never lift a finger to do what he termed as “Womens Work”, he never changed a diaper, washed a dish or any such thing. Consequently I believe that I spoiled my children's mother and it came back to slap me in the face ... therefore I also believe that perhaps I did too much of the home chores for my spouse.
She would ignore our children's needs in favor of watching soap operas or doing her crafts until the point that a baby or child would often be screaming at her in frustration when I came home from work. It would only take me a few moments to change the diaper and give a small snack but I would pay for it later with a cold shoulder because I had given in to the child's needs.
Before you think that she was doing all of the necessary work at home you need to understand that was not the case. Even when I was carrying a full load of Masters in Psychology courses, doing research papers and working full time at a job, I still was the one to get up nights to change diapers and bring a baby in to be breast fed etc.
Can you say, “sleep deprivation” It would be really nice to have a loving and nurturing wife who shares love in a happy home........................Yes it hurt and eventually it tore our family apart. I cannot recall how many times I wished .... oh heck, enough pity party.... I have said my piece. | |
|
Home
login 
