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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 4/6/2008 7:03:15 PM | I have noticed that at my age, 42, height 5'9 and weight 229 pds that men DO discriminate and most wont contact me back when I write them.
Don't overdramatize. When a guy doesn't e-mail you back, it is not "discrimination." I am attracted to what I am attracted to, and it is silly of you or anyone to expect that I'm going to reply to a woman who doesn't attract me.
Besides, you don't know that your weight is the reason they didn't return your e-mail.
I get about a 15 percent response rate on here, match.com, yahoo personals, etc. which makes it really hard to find someone compatible.
I get about a two percent response rate, but you don't hear me whining about it. Nor am I going to assume that my size or my looks has anything to do with it. And even if it was, it would be unfair of me to expect that a woman who is not attracted to me is going to reply.
The men that do contact me ... have faces that resemble a prison mug shot ...
Now who's discriminating based on appearance?
So its confusing-- some men are afraid of seeming shallow and talk all about how they like someone for their insides, but deep down they are just the same.
As for me, I really don't care if someone thinks I'm shallow because I do need to feel some sort of physical attraction to a woman before I can be interested in dating her. But that doesn't mean I don't care about what's on the inside, too.
After all, you yourself want someone who doesn't look like a "prison mug shot."
Fortunately for me I have managed to still find long term dating companions- both of whom were average in the looks department but sucessful professionals who were attentive lovers--- still neither of them wanted or asked for a stable committment/marriage. My guess is they wanted "something better around the corner"
Is that so wrong? Or would you rather stick with someone who doesn't see you as the best woman there can possibly be for him?
The best that I have gotten out of this-- if you want to think positively- is that I have learned to be more self-sufficient and to realize that men arent dependable in my life and that I will continue learning to rely on myself and not expect anything good from a man when it comes to commitittment hopes and dreams.
So it's all the fault of men, eh? There are plenty of women of all different shapes, sizes, and appearances who have had no problem landing a high-quality man. Perhaps instead of laying all the blame on all those nasty, shallow men out there you should look at yourself and see what about you is attracting only the undependable ones.
I think its sad that women are reduced to finding a mate only when they meet a certain physical criteria.
Heh. You know, they actually performed a study once that showed that women are far more picky when it comes to looks than men are.
Men were shown pictures of 100 women in their age group, and asked to pick which ones they'd consider dating. Most men picked a couple dozen or so. Women were then given pictures of 100 men and asked to do the same. Most women picked only one or two.
Of course we all have our standards-- I' m not saying its wrong to not want to be with someone you're not interested in --- but I have learned that sometimes taking the time to get to know a person can change your entire attitude and attraction level for them-- if you just give it time and give them a chance.
"Oh, c'mooooon, gimme a chaaaaance! You'll learn to like me if you just see what's on the inside!"
Seriously, whining is terribly unattractive. | |
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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 4/6/2008 7:10:40 PM |
As I said in my earlier post--- there's nothing wrong with standards... as long as you dont discount someone based PURELY on looks.
So I am only allowed to have standards that you, personally, approve of? 
Of course women are known for being less looks-oriented
Oh, get over yourself!
as my own profile states:" I dont mind if you're 30-60 pds overweight, bald or have a belly" etc.
And you're entitled to have whatever preferences you like. Just don't get on your high horse and look down on us lowly people who do need some sort of physical attraction.
What I DO mind are men who dont try to look their best whatever their appearance-- even as a larger gal I perm my hair, buy the best makeup, have my nails done twice a month and buy good clothes.
So you do care about appearance after all. I mean, why should you care if a guy doesn't groom well if it's only what's on the inside that matters, eh?
I mean, if you aren't attracted to sloppy men, then that's fine, but don't try to claim it's less shallow than only being attracted to women within a healthy weight range.
the only thing I seem to be "guilty" of is being overweight
That's because you have already made up your mind that your weight is the only thing that could possibly be making men not attracted to you.
so it stands to reason that men are VILE and DISCRIMINATORY when it comes to choosing a woman just on weight alone.
You have GOT to be kidding. Get over yourself. | |
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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 4/6/2008 7:27:51 PM | Guys generally prefer thin and ditzy girls over chunky girls with nice personalities for the same reason girls genereally prefer macho jerks over sensitive nice guys. It's biologically hardwired.
I'll explain.
Ditzy really has nothing to do with it. In fact, if given the choice between a thin, hot girl with a brain and a personality and one without a brain or personality, 9 times out of 10, a guy is going to take the former. We do like sweet and intelligent girls. But not at the expense of femininity.
Femininity is the number one trait that attracts men. A woman can lack just about anything else, and as long as she is feminine, men will find her attractive. We're biologically programmed to do so. Brains and personality are just icing on the cake. But first, you must have a cake. And that cake is femininity.
If this sounds unfair, it might be to some of us. But it's balanced, I assure you. It's not some horribly lop-sided rule of nature.
Why is it that women by in large go for macho jerks over sensitive nice guys? Same reason, just the flipside of the coin. They don't necessarily like that the macho jerk is a jerk, but there is something more important about him that they do like; he is masculine. He is all that is male. The sensitive nice guy is a spineless wimp. He is androgynous. Afraid of his sexuality.
So when women say they want a nice guy, they aren't lying. They do want a nice guy that will treat them right. But the most important part of the phrase "nice guy" is not the word "nice," it's the word "guy." He must be a guy first and foremost. The nice part is just icing on the cake.
So unfortunately, women with brains and outstanding personalities can be amazingly incredible people but will only end up as friends to most of the guys they're truly attracted to unless they work on being feminine. Just as most of the sensitive nice guys who want nothing but to make a woman happy will generally continue to end up in the friend zone of the women they truly want to be with unless they learn how to step it up and be more masculine.
The problem is not lack of appreciation for intelligence and personality. It's the lack of effort many people put into their respective masculinity and femininity. Fix that, and you'll attract many more people.
Hope that cleared things up. | |
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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 4/6/2008 10:28:27 PM | | sable. If you have a great personality then how are guys suppose to know this? Your profile description is like 3 sentences long and gives no insight as to who you really are. By your conception, men only want attractive looking girls and you are not that. Well then you will have to make up for that by selling yourself differenty. This is what almost every guy has to do (even if he himself is hot!). Welcome to our world. | |
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hb111
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Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 256 | |
| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 4/7/2008 5:48:31 AM | As I said in my earlier post--- there's nothing wrong with standards... as long as you dont discount someone based PURELY on looks.
Of course women are known for being less looks-oriented --- as my own profile states:" I dont mind if you're 30-60 pds overweight, bald or have a belly" etc.
What I DO mind are men who dont try to look their best whatever their appearance-- even as a larger gal I perm my hair, buy the best makeup, have my nails done twice a month and buy good clothes. Personally I am doing all I can to improve my career and financial status-- the only thing I seem to be "guilty" of is being overweight... so it stands to reason that men are VILE and DISCRIMINATORY when it comes to choosing a woman just on weight alone.
Yet this is what you stated in another thread.
For me, I usually require at least 5'9because I am 5'9 -- tall for a woman-- and when I dress up in heels etc I can be as tall as 5'11. Lots of men are intimidated by a taller woman so I try to save the hastle and date men in my height range or taller.
Also -- I feel a man is more masculine and able to offer security and safety -- I like big men for that reason -- though dont get me wrong-- personality and attachment can often override a first glance judgement.
Appparently it is okay for you to reject a man because of his height, but it is "shallow" for a man to reject you because of your weight. You claim that you shouldn't discount a person because of looks, but you wouldn't date a man because of his height. Then you tried to rationalize your height requirement by saying men are intimidated by taller women. In reality, your height requirement is based on your insecurity and false generalzations. This is very hypocritical. A person can't change his height. Yet most people can lose weight with a good diet and proper exercise. | |
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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 4/7/2008 6:58:30 AM | hb111, msg 256:
As I said in my earlier post--- there's nothing wrong with standards... as long as you dont discount someone based PURELY on looks.
Of course women are known for being less looks-oriented --- as my own profile states:" I dont mind if you're 30-60 pds overweight, bald or have a belly" etc.
What I DO mind are men who dont try to look their best whatever their appearance-- even as a larger gal I perm my hair, buy the best makeup, have my nails done twice a month and buy good clothes. Personally I am doing all I can to improve my career and financial status-- the only thing I seem to be "guilty" of is being overweight... so it stands to reason that men are VILE and DISCRIMINATORY when it comes to choosing a woman just on weight alone.
Yet this is what you stated in another thread.
For me, I usually require at least 5'9because I am 5'9 -- tall for a woman-- and when I dress up in heels etc I can be as tall as 5'11. Lots of men are intimidated by a taller woman so I try to save the hastle and date men in my height range or taller.
Also -- I feel a man is more masculine and able to offer security and safety -- I like big men for that reason -- though dont get me wrong-- personality and attachment can often override a first glance judgement.
Appparently it is okay for you to reject a man because of his height, but it is "shallow" for a man to reject you because of your weight. You claim that you shouldn't discount a person because of looks, but you wouldn't date a man because of his height. Then you tried to rationalize your height requirement by saying men are intimidated by taller women. In reality, your height requirement is based on your insecurity and false generalzations. This is very hypocritical. A person can't change his height. Yet most people can lose weight with a good diet and proper exercise.
The OP = OWNED | |
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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 4/7/2008 8:12:08 AM | hi
i hate to generalize, but ...
the dumb girls arent as good at playing games and sending mixed signals as the intelligent girls are. this is what scares me about smart women. its not the fact that they can and often do make more money or anything else, just that they are too complex and have much more drama in their lives often caused by themselves.
also, simple girls appreciate simple things, sophisticated "high end" girls do not.
i cant speak for other guys, but my favorite thing to do on a sunday afternoon is to kuddle up and fall asleep in my girls lap :) and i dont care if we are at home on the couch, at a park, at the beach, whatever.
a sophisticated woman wants sophisticated things like concerts, operas, high end restaurants, hottest night clubs, too many friends, etc. and many of them have lost their appreciation for scenarios such as i described above. simply put, simple people are less maintenance and more to the point.
not all mind you, but i will have to say thats how the majority falls.
and as for looks, yea. weight can be controlled. i'm currently on my last 5 lbs., pretty close to geting rid of all my fat for about the 4th time in my life so when i look at someone thats severely overweight i know for 100% that person neglects herself and has very bad habits.
o and as far as my hands and hair goes ... i'm alregic to stuff they put in hairsprays gels and mousses, so my hair is as it looks like when i get out of the shower and shake my head. and i work as a technician still often performing hard mechanical labor so my hands are hard and are NOT pretty and never will be. i do not have fingernails of some gay ass pencilneck office skirt. i do not neglect myself but unfortunately women get such first initial impressions of me until they gte to hang around a bit and know better.
likewise, hair and makeup are next to the last things i look at in a woman, in fact, i specifically look for ones that are comfortable and secure WITHOUT those things. so if you think your hair perm or lipstick shows that you "take care of yourself", you are dead wrong.
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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 4/7/2008 9:39:04 AM | The OP = OWNED
Actually hb111 was referring to a woman who agreed with the OP, but I agree with his general point. Many ( not all ) overweight women will complain when a man rejects them due to weight. Yet they will reject a man due to his height, race, weight, being bald etc. Then they will try to rationalize why they wouldn't date a certain group of people. The reasons they often give for not dating a certain group of people is at least partly based on false generalizations. | |
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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:21:00 PM | | I never have had a fondness for ditsy girls. In fact, I can barely stand to even be around someone that's a total airhead, much less date them. Thinness I don't mind as much, but there are alot of people that just can't help their body type so I'm certainly not about to hold it against someone if they're not a supermodel. | |
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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:29:51 PM | As someone in the Mecca of ditsy girls, I can't stand them as far as befriending or dating. They are fun to watch though. From the ditz who runs into a wall trying to be sexy and walk at the same time to many other funny incidents that make me laugh on a regular basis they are a hoot! 
We all have our preferences. Whether they be so restricting which causes us to be stuck complaining about it on a dating forum or not we all have them. There is nothing wrong with having them. Whether it be you like big women, small women, dumb women, smart women, lazy women, driven women, etc it is what it is. Getting angry at someone for having preferences is quite childish. If you really don't like something about yourself, change it. If you don't have the discipline and the desire to do so then find it. Just don't sit here and complain that life is unfair because of it. Life is what you make of it, so go make it and stop whining about it. | |
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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 9/1/2008 4:31:06 PM | [likewise, hair and makeup are next to the last things i look at in a woman, in fact, i specifically look for ones that are comfortable and secure WITHOUT those things. so if you think your hair perm or lipstick shows that you "take care of yourself", you are dead wrong.]
Thank you for that!  | |
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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 9/1/2008 5:45:44 PM | I love this thread! I was trying to think of a reason to call in to work. I'm calling in thin and ditzy!! I may even try to get a monthly check for it. Yes, Yes, Yes! I'm in the money! Bah,stick a cork in it, thin is ditzy, fat is lazy . Somebody better label average or I'm calling foul!! | |
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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:00:09 PM | | kane: Average is boring. Isn't that one in the dictionary or thesaurus or something? So there's no need for another label, average already has one. | |
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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 9/2/2008 2:53:11 AM |
why are men like this?
Thin doesn't equal brainless. Average or overweight doesn't equal intelligent. This thread is redundant.
All of that aside, I think you look better than most of the stick thin women I've known. | |
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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 9/2/2008 6:37:21 AM | kane: Average is boring. Isn't that one in the dictionary or thesaurus or something? So there's no need for another label, average already has one.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
No fair! Thats cheating you are suppose to make something up! | |
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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 9/2/2008 7:13:32 AM | | Men date women that we are sexually attracted to. We don't get to choose what turns us on. We just pursue it. That said, I LOVE thin women; ditsy, funny, quiet or loud, a little 'too' smart, maybe even a smart ass, even sometimes a flake. Thin is 'in'. There are plenty of guys out there that 'need' a woman to have great big boobs; so why is it so wrong for some of us to not care if she's a lot closer to flat chested than to a DD cup? I think this thread is just another one of those started by a person who's ticked off that the person she is attracted to, isn't attracted to her. | |
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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 9/2/2008 8:02:03 AM | kane: Cheating? Sorry, you didn't specify rules, therefor there were no rules, therefor I couldn't break any, therefor it wasn't cheating. Q.E.D. | |
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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 9/2/2008 8:06:49 AM | The entirety of this quote from Raphael bears repeating:
Guys generally prefer thin and ditzy girls over chunky girls with nice personalities for the same reason girls genereally prefer macho jerks over sensitive nice guys. It's biologically hardwired.
I'll explain.
Ditzy really has nothing to do with it. In fact, if given the choice between a thin, hot girl with a brain and a personality and one without a brain or personality, 9 times out of 10, a guy is going to take the former. We do like sweet and intelligent girls. But not at the expense of femininity.
Femininity is the number one trait that attracts men. A woman can lack just about anything else, and as long as she is feminine, men will find her attractive. We're biologically programmed to do so. Brains and personality are just icing on the cake. But first, you must have a cake. And that cake is femininity.
If this sounds unfair, it might be to some of us. But it's balanced, I assure you. It's not some horribly lop-sided rule of nature.
Why is it that women by in large go for macho jerks over sensitive nice guys? Same reason, just the flipside of the coin. They don't necessarily like that the macho jerk is a jerk, but there is something more important about him that they do like; he is masculine. He is all that is male. The sensitive nice guy is a spineless wimp. He is androgynous. Afraid of his sexuality.
So when women say they want a nice guy, they aren't lying. They do want a nice guy that will treat them right. But the most important part of the phrase "nice guy" is not the word "nice," it's the word "guy." He must be a guy first and foremost. The nice part is just icing on the cake.
So unfortunately, women with brains and outstanding personalities can be amazingly incredible people but will only end up as friends to most of the guys they're truly attracted to unless they work on being feminine. Just as most of the sensitive nice guys who want nothing but to make a woman happy will generally continue to end up in the friend zone of the women they truly want to be with unless they learn how to step it up and be more masculine.
The problem is not lack of appreciation for intelligence and personality. It's the lack of effort many people put into their respective masculinity and femininity. Fix that, and you'll attract many more people.
Hope that cleared things up.
Interestingly enough, or not, the above is also the answer why "ugly guys get hot chicks". Enough of this tomofoolery.
F. | |
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| why do men go for the ditsy thin girls?
Posted: 9/4/2008 8:51:27 PM | isnt it ditzy?
anyways....maybe some guys like this type b.c they dont notice that the guy is screwing their best friend in the next room over or things like that ....stupid people can be fun to date just cause they never catch on to things plus u can entertain them with the ol flashlight on the wall trick. | |
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I agree with you 100% Raphel
