bernzg
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Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 76 | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/25/2007 9:03:23 AM | I think this entire issue and everything that has been said here is silly to be quite honest! So what? If Marcus were to comply with some of the masses here and disallow folks not looking from the site? Would it make you individuals complaining more attractive to the opposite sex? Would your emails climb in #, with dates to follow? Come on. Sheesh! Life is life folks. Not everything or everyone is the same. Singling some out does nothing to improve your own personal lifestyle or dating status! If we spent as much time in our quest as some of us do griping about things, perhaps we would all have different outcomes. I am not bashing anyone in particular either, please do understand that first and foremost! I think this entire thread has gotten way out of proportion. Then again, darlins, tis just my own opinion! | |
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.Lisa
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Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 79 | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/25/2007 9:21:33 AM | | Points all well taken!! All things considered, I can see that different people all have different social needs and different ways of communicating and sharing their time with others. I know I've been guilty of thinking of someone that's "found a mate" as being someone married or in a committed relationship, and that has slanted my thinking somewhat. I suppose one of the best reasons for being here after you've "found a mate" is this can certainly be part of the dating Process...NOT just a means to an end. It can most certainly be an excellent way to help a dating relationship or budding committed relationship along by participating in an established "community", or even to add to a committed relationship. Everyone needs some kind of "community" to belong to...humans are social beings after all. So I suppose the bottom line, is that if you want to participate, and you choose to participate, why not? it's all about fun regardless of your status. Have a nice day everyone. | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/25/2007 9:23:30 AM | Me too with the sit / love in with Kitch & Bernzg (HI HONEY!!) & Val.
Since I first jumped into the pond with my pole baited, through the incredible wonder and luck of finding my fishie, I soon realized that this is a community, met many new friends, and always enjoy reading and/or participating in the forums. And, as others have said.........The Best Parties On The PLanet !!!!!
HE## NO WE WON"T GO!!
(anybody got papers??) | |
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bernzg
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Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 83 | |
| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/25/2007 9:35:11 AM | Jeep...your interests being what they are, I'm sure you can understand the "tribe" mentality.
For many of us...we found our "tribe". I know of no one in my circle that cruises the profiles, they're all in committed relationships, as are drk and I. (Oops...I mean the ones with s/o's....I would HOPE the single ones are checking the profiles out!) Although many of them rely on the get togethers and gatherings for their contacts.
I've said many times in the past....look on this as a "social site", and you'll have success. You are correct about community...after all...I *might* have single lady friends to introduce to eligible men! Isn't that how it used to be done? This is simply a new age way of going about it. Look at the benefits and the pluses in some of us staying around.
I remember a time on here that there was belly aching that there were NO hooked up people and that dating sites don't work...we're the proof it works. (fyi...it was through another pof member drk and I met...we met at a house party. We had exchanged one or two emails from comments on forum postings, but it went no where 'til we met. Then it went where it was supposed to!)
(papers??? Your "paper" days are over dear one of the partial lungectomy)
VVVVVVVVV oh heck don't get him started on brownies | |
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Mayor
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Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 84 | |
| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/25/2007 9:41:36 AM |
we found our "tribe".
phew for a second i thought it was a commune, complete with brownies for desert.
OT: the fact that people think differently is hardly new, what i find of far more interest is how they go about co-exsisting. and this thread yet another fine addition. | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/25/2007 8:42:29 PM | The forums, friends, parties, coffee get togethers, dinner parties, more than just another eharmony site!
LOL I'm bringin my drums to the love fest/sit in!
Course maybe some of us "fished ones" are just looking for others to join in on World Orgasim Day or National Nudist Week events! LMAOjavascript:smilie(' ')
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/26/2007 4:54:22 AM | Just wondering, as I dont recall anyone pointing this out - but NOT SINGLE/NOT LOOKING - does not necessarily mean you have a 'date' or a 'long term mate'. It could just mean you've recently been hurt and are seriously not ready to jump back into the pond and start fishing so quick. I know a few girlies on here in this boat and have gotten flamed for it - not single/not looking - looking for friendship/dating. I can see the confusion but they're not giving up 100%, so y'all are saying b/c they're not ready to date RIGHT NOW they shouldnt be on here? Oh come on people....how do dates start? With getting to know someone. If you cant get to know someone and become friends with them how are you supposed to date? Forums are just a better way of getting to know someone w/o the one on one pressure.
Some very valid yay and nay points in this thread. Regardless of your 'status' lets keep the forums alive!   | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/26/2007 5:14:08 AM | Give me a break. There are literally THOUSANDS of forums and message boreds out there for you people to conduct your little social club.
But no, you have to hang out on a DATING site to bore us and waste our time.
Thanks so much for your selfishness. | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/26/2007 5:59:42 AM | | As a person who has found my special someone (through a POF event), I have a hard time understanding why some would be so upset by my still being on this site, staying in touch with friends I have made through it, and participating in interesting discussions in the forums. I am quite clear in my profile that I am taken. I am not taking dates away from anyone....nor am I fooling anyone into thinking I am not taken. Why then does it bother some so much I wonder? I am not affecting their search for love at all....hmmmmm | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/26/2007 5:59:54 AM | @ aalhazzred: You're right. There are plenty of of pleaces we could all go to chat and discuss.
But shouldn't it just be props to the site and the people on it (you included!) for making it so great that none of us really feel the need to leave :)  | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/26/2007 6:04:43 AM |
Give me a break. There are literally THOUSANDS of forums and message boreds out there for you people to conduct your little social club.
But no, you have to hang out on a DATING site to bore us and waste our time.
Thanks so much for your selfishness.
I just wanted to point out that is you feel you are bored and that these forums waste your time there is a red x in the corner of your screen that will cure that problem for you. This is the internet hunny .. you cannot control or regulate what goes on here and there is alot worse things going on then some happy people in monogomous relationships posting on a public forum.
Do you know who taught me that philosophy ... a man in a relationship .... from this site ...
I think that you are wearing you cranky troll pants today .... but ... characters like you make the forums more interesting!!! Have a super day all!!! | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/26/2007 6:07:34 AM | Wrong.
These people are destroying what they came here for in the first place.
I don't need any more "friends" have no interest in "social events" and Im not interested in what they figure passes for an "opinion".
Dating site.
See, right there in the title.
Not social club for you to chitty chat your little online clique of admirers.
Ah well. t'was worth a try. | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/26/2007 6:11:20 AM |
you have to hang out on a DATING site to bore us and waste our time
didnt know I was boring people
will I run to another site...NO NO NO
I agree with Kitkat...this thread has gotten out of hand. We all have our opinions and suffice it to say the couples that have met on here have as much right as any single person does to be here. this thread is closed for ME! | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/26/2007 6:13:27 AM | Ya sistah!!!! **Wears toga, puts on wire framed glasses, and with my shaved head and slim frame sits in the middle of the room crossing my legs and meditating in a show of Passive Resistance** (I wonder if anyone will even get that reference???)
Well said Sisah Souljah!!! | |
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bernzg
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Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 95 | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/26/2007 7:01:34 AM |
But no, you have to hang out on a DATING site to bore us and waste our time.
Thanks so much for your selfishness.
@alhazard and u have to bore us with your negative posts, bordering on ignorant viewpoints.
would be nice to meet ya though, to see what u really look like, as i am not convinced that that is truly u in the pic.
like saucysarah said, if u dont like it, click the red button and go away.
there see POOF, problem disappeared.
and with your 'tude i am surprised women are even into u.
but best of luck with your search.
as for me, i agree with the tribe mentality, this is my social bar, i dont like going out to bars during the week, so this is where i come, to hang out and socialize. and if i ever meet anyone that wants me for longer than a month.  i will still stay and hang out with da peeps. | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/26/2007 7:19:42 AM | @OP
We stay because we love the forums, the friendships, the get togethers..... great site!
@aalhazzred
I borrowed your quote from the 'ratio of men to women on PoF-
"Since I have met some truly brilliant people on the internet that resulted in real-life friendships, an artist in California, a philosophy Professor in England, an anarchist in New York, all people I would NEVER have had the opportunity to meet and get to know in real life,"
You were happy to post that you have met people on the internet that you would not have had the luck to meet in real life.
People on the site that are notsingle/notlooking probably have formed the same kind of friendships here so they stay. | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/26/2007 7:22:43 AM | I agree, as well. This discussion has come to a stalemate...there are people who are never going to see why being on a dating site IF they are not dating might be wrong...and there are people who are never going to understand the mindset of those who feel "entitled" to be on a dating site when they are not actively seeking a partner or have found their fish.
As stated earlier, and as I've stated myself...this is Big Fish's baby...his own remarkable gift to the masses of singles who were, before its inspiration, paying unscrupulous dating sites for the same opportunity. It has been HIS dream, purpose, time, knowledge, experience, financial output, maintenance and enhancement that has made it the fastest growing FREE dating site. If Marcus wishes the site to remain pure to it's intent, it will have to be his choice and task, and not to our own mutterings and grumblings. He's done a wonderful job, thus far. I'm sure if it were a concern, he would be looking for ways to make his mission and purpose more obvious. It is not for any of us to say...right or wrong.
As for now, non-single/not looking are options...married is an option...prefer not to say is an option...hiding your profile is an option...opting out is an option. Fortunately, he's given us many options...perhaps, now is the time for our own accountability.
To those fishing, I wish you only the best in your search...may you find your own true love and happiness. For those who have found their fish, congratulations. In a world of war, terrorism, violence, hatred and intolerance...it is truly a gift to find love. It is good to know that this tool, known as Plenty of Fish, does work. It gives us all hope.
Either way, I wish you all good luck,
Dev
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/26/2007 7:31:33 AM | For example,
If beautiful deviant and I become a couple, I wouldn't get rid of my profile. I would, however, make you all sick with my mushy talk. Ok ok wishful thinking, but she makes some very good points in her post. Big Fish put this thing together and if he feels there are changes that may need to be made he will make them. Having said that, the eccelerated growth of membership to this site is a testiment to the way in which the site has been created and the rules that guide it. | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/26/2007 7:49:20 AM | a lot of people in here all said "friends" well i have to agree with them. i haven't been caught yet and right now i decided to sit back a bit. i stay here because of the friends that i've made on the site, for the emails from those friends as well as others that may contact me, and for the best thing of all...............the forums!!!
caught or not, it's one of the best ways to keep in touch with those whom aren't able to contact you for one reason or the other so we decide to keep our profiles active so we don't lose the contact between.
if and when i finally get caught by some lucky fisherman then i would change my profile but would still remain here. there are some people out there that enjoy reading the success stories of others, i myself am one of them. so until then, i'm just going to keep swimming around in the pond and chill out for a bit.....
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