| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/27/2007 6:24:17 PM | If we use this page as a straw-poll(or the last page if this ends up on top), then going from bottom to top we have:
Long Term
Dating
Dating
Dating
Friends
Friends
Friends
Friends
Long Term
Short Term
Friends
Friends
Friends
Friends
Friends
Dating
Friends
Talk/Email
It looks like a pretty even split - 50% friends 50% the rest. Then I noticed the majority of the rest are guys, while the majority of friends are women.
Shappy said you all enjoy this place, as it has turned into the morning coffee shop. Perhaps Ontario needs a split, into SINGLE - NOT SINGLE. It's really not fair to come in here and be over-ridden by people who were one year ago crying the single blues, but today are just so happy they have a SO. Move along into the NOT SINGLE FORUM PLEASE.
I cannot imagine the pi*s*s off it must be to land at a POF SINGLES event, only to wander to a card carrying member of POF out enjoying themselves, just to find out they brought their SO. That's stress no one needs or deserves.
Here you go married people - http://www.getphpbb.com/phpbb/new_forum.php
Free forums that you can set up and enjoy. Invite all your fellow cliquers, the people that aren't here to date, but you like so much. Good for all of you.
Leave the DATING sites for the single people.
thank you | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/27/2007 6:36:12 PM |
only to wander to a card carrying member of POF out enjoying themselves, just to find out they brought their SO. That's stress no one needs or deserves.
Who died and made you God? So if you go out to a bar, you expect everyone in the bar to be single just because you are there? If you go to the grocery store, are all the people there single too? What about the laundrymat? People that are hooked up just leave because you walk in the door? Pull your head out of your ___(insert body part here). Life doesn't work that way, internet or not.
I never cried here when I was single and haven't gone around boasting now that I'm not either. I have no "cliquers" as you call POFer's. The people I meet and/or hang out with from POF are people of every status. So now you're saying only hooked up people can hang out with hooked up people? Ridiculous and very narrow minded.
That would be like me saying I can't talk to you because you are single. Stupid, simply stupid. | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/27/2007 6:38:36 PM | Leave the DATING sites for the single people
So.. if I understand your way of thinking, those who were on this site as a single person and remained single for a while, establishing a lot of friendships with other single people, should leave just because they developed a committed relationship?
That's beyond reasonable.
In other words... you are saying they can not retain their previously established friendships in these forums, and with the approval of their mate - just because they have a g/f or b/f.
Do any of your married friends ever tell you to leave a function/gathering because you are not married?
Give it a break. | |
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kendo³
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Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 130 | |
| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/27/2007 6:52:04 PM | If my girlfreind told me who I could be friends with and who I couldn't be friends with, then I guess she would be gone... Obviously she wouldn't trust me and its an insult on my integraty. Its just not going to work out. (I don't have one by the way).
I have full intention of leaving if I met the right one. I've left before so I know I can do it. It will not happen right away and I would still hang out with a few that I have found good people here and there.
Its all about trust..... Without it, everything falls apart. The test of time is a powerful thing. It takes time... Altimadoms are not good for anyone. No-one likes people that shut everyone out just because the are in a relationship.
If being friends was a bad thing, then why is it an option to put on your profile. To each is thier own... Friends sometimes just end up sticking. It happens. Just because you are in a relationship, doesn't mean you are dead. So I am all for it, as long as thier conduct is genuine. Freinds are good, I would like to marry my best friend (female of course).
VVV - eventually even at a singles events, people are going to hook up. If you see someone with someone else, move on. Its going to happen anyway, even if couples (or people dating) are not there. | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/27/2007 6:58:02 PM |
Who died and made you God? So if you go out to a bar, you expect everyone in the bar to be single just because you are there? If you go to the grocery store, are all the people there single too? What about the laundrymat? People that are hooked up just leave because you walk in the door? Pull your head out of your ___(insert body part here). Life doesn't work that way, internet or not.
I never cried here when I was single and haven't gone around boasting now that I'm not either. I have no "cliquers" as you call POFer's. The people I meet and/or hang out with from POF are people of every status. So now you're saying only hooked up people can hang out with hooked up people? Ridiculous and very narrow minded.
That would be like me saying I can't talk to you because you are single. Stupid, simply stupid.
When you're at POF events and half of them have people wearing nametags, the expectation is that you're at a SINGLES event. Hence why one of the mods has a stickied thread on the first page that reads -
Ontario Singles Events Images
What I'm saying is it seems the Attached people have overrun the Ontario Singles Forum. It's great you want to stay in touch. There are other options that don't involve a DATING website for you to do that.
I'm not here to talk to you. I'm on a dating website. You're not looking for a date. Long Term + Friends doesn't equal MUCH!
whats that sound? you're pulling what out of where?
So.. if I understand your way of thinking, those who were on this site as a single person and remained single for a while, establishing a lot of friendships with other single people, should leave just because they developed a committed relationship?
That's beyond reasonable.
In other words... you are saying they can not retain their previously established friendships in these forums, and with the approval of their mate - just because they have a g/f or b/f.
Do any of your married friends ever tell you to leave a function/gathering because you are not married?
Give it a break.
It's completely reasonable to ask those happy lovebirds in love to go somewhere else. 2 out of 3 people on this board are people wanting to talk to their 'friends'. Make a FoundAFishie website(free php provided above) and invite all of your friends there. POF is being overrun by couples. The whole singles aspect of it has been lost in your quest to keep in touch with your friends. | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/27/2007 7:31:25 PM | ^^^^^^^^YOu would not be single had it not been for your bad and very poor additude it's not the couples fault that they started out single and got caught and they choose to stay to mingle and meet people and mabey they might even be able to set up there friends . SO SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP !!! I think this is not for u so move along . Plenty of friends.plenty of fish.is what POF is all About.  | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/27/2007 7:35:00 PM | Please Note ..... Until the rules, regulations, policies and all the laws relating to POF change and us happy lovebirds who want to talk to our established friends are asked to leave this site or prohibited from using it, I will be here.
If your not happy the way Marcus and the administrators are running the site, why don't you stop the bellie aching and delete your profile and leave.
Why not start up another tread regarding the couples who "ruin" the planned singles get togethers. You are getting off the subject of this tread..... | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/27/2007 7:53:23 PM | lmao....this thread is totally crazy!! Just let Ason carry on with his opinion but it shouldn't deter anyone from being on this site or attending any of the single events. I met my g/f on this site. She's been on here longer than me and met some amazing friends on here. I would hope she would keep in contact with her friends and enjoy sharing things with them as well. If it be on this site then so be it.She is putting a lot of work into hosting a party and also being a cupid. I respect the fact that she does this and actually love that she has such a big heart to do these things.I've been out to meet and greats with her and have felt nothing but welcomed from everyone I've met, both single and ppl in a relationship.
Ason it does not suprise me you're single and I'm sure you will be single for quite awhile if you continue to waste your time posting such negative opinions as this. I'm pretty sure women aren't impressed by such negativity and whining. Why don't you change your searchs only to include ppl that are looking for the same as what you are then you will not have to worry about coming across ppl that are only looking for friends.
Best of luck to you and hope you find what you're looking for!! | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/27/2007 8:20:30 PM |
in case you were all wondering, this is the topic
I am just curious as to why people who have met there supposed fish continue on in this dating site .Maybe i am wrong but i thought you went to a dating site to hopefully meet a mate and then go off into life happily ever after .
nothing else.
any further bashing , personal attacks, blatant over generalizations and negativity - park it.
Moderator | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/28/2007 6:18:01 AM |
I am just curious as to why people who have met there supposed fish continue on in this dating site .Maybe i am wrong but i thought you went to a dating site to hopefully meet a mate and then go off into life happily ever after .
I can't speak for myself, but my girlfriend is here still because we are just dating, not married and she might want to trade up. Especially now that there is this handy new "Viewed Me" feature so she can see who is really interested in her as a person. | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:34:58 AM | I know that myself and my fiance bring our single friends - who are NOT on POF - to events so that they can meet the awsome peeps we have met !! It would be great if they could find someone perfect in thier life as well! The last party we went to, we brought 2 single women with us and 3 single men met up with us and at least 3 more single people were hanging out with us!! Soooo I think we were totaly outnumbered by single people at our table!! I have even dragged my single friends around the events to play 'wing man'!!! It's actually worked many times for hooking others up!!! I have one very good friend that met her boyfriend the same night and place that capeey and I met - they are still together and both were NOT on POF but met at the POF event I took my friend to!!! That was over 7 months ago!! I know that other single people I have befriended have also had some awesome hook ups, 'cause they came out to chat with me, or hang with me and the side affect was meeting other great singles!! This has happened at many events held - the smaller meet and greets and the house parties and the larger events!!
So we stay on POF to have fun watching others have fun - with hopes of hooking up our friends & yup to continue the joy we found here when we hooked up!!!!
It's all good - couples are not looking to ''ruin' it for single people - we were single once too!!!  | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:53:19 AM | Good point Leanne..... Couples on here aren't wanting to ruin anything for the single people...in fact, if we can 'match make' some of our single friends, then even better!!!! 
A very wonderful girlfriend said to me not to long ago, "Remember, THIS is the end result of why we all joined this site in the first place....meeting a mate."  I don't think ANY of us (and I speak for myself and my amazing circle of POF friends) expected to meet one another and form these lifelong friendships, these incredible bonds and have THIS much fun 'outside' the realm of dating....but we did.....and THAT'S why alot of us are still here and enjoying one anothers company, staying in touch and sharing our lives as 'friends' I personally hope for the very same thing for every person that comes on this site.....to be as lucky as I have...to have met the most wonderful, loving man in the world (okay so I hope the guys meet amazing woman, LOL)  ...to have made friends, both men and woman, who I would trust with my daughters life and I will hold dear to my heart for a long, long time.
Will I stay on this site forever? No....but I will certainly stay in touch with those I have come to love as my friends and for now? I choose to do it thru POF.  | |
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t-gurl
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Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 139 | |
| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:00:51 AM | Good point Vamp. If this site is about meeting people and pairing up, isn't it a good thing to have some success stories that are visible? If all the couples left once they got together, then the sea would be full of only single fish all looking around at all the other single fish and asking "Does this site work?"
But then, it seems that no matter what happens, some people just need something to b*tch about  | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:21:45 AM | I actually agree with what was said about how frustrating it must be to go to a "singles" event, and have half of the people you approach be not available.
With regards to the name tags, maybe at events there could be two different coloured name tags? One colour for single folk, and another for hooked-up folk. That way no one would end up embarrassed about who they approached to speak to, and everyone would still feel welcomed to attend without giving any wrong impression... | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:59:01 AM |
Long Term + Friends doesn't equal MUCH!
I disagree. If I had that attitude, I wouldn't have met the people I have met here and truely experienced all the POF has to offer. Numerous people have joined this site to find a mate and have found so much more. If you go to an event, would you not want someone to befriend you, at least for your first experience? Have a person that could introduce you to people so that you don't feel unwelcomed and left out? It seems to me that by saying this, you are putting yourself in a category that in months down the road, will have you complaining, like others have, about their first experience being bad. So, again I say, pull your head out of your "bum" (no Jeep, not elbow  ) and enjoy all this site has to offer. Being close minded won't get you very far. EVERYONE has room for more people in their lives, whether it be a mate, a friend or simply a chaperone of your first event.
@Justastudent - I think that is a good idea if all the single people have a problem with couples at events. I would have no problem sporting a colour coded name tag so that the single people know I'm not available at this time. I would just hope that those same single people would not put me in a category of "not worth getting to know".
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/28/2007 9:05:31 AM | | Gee Justa! You are such a smart cookie! I think that would be a wonderful idea! Could alleviate a lot of the issues the folks have! I have not or am yet to meet a fish from here, but my life truly has been enriched by the good friends that I have met. Truly? For me? If I never meet a fish, I really don't care. This site has provided me with many great friends and great times. Nuff said for me on this subject! | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/28/2007 9:36:20 AM | I too agree that colour coded name tags at POF events would be a great idea to differentiate between available Singles and those not looking.
The same could even be applied to the people on site so that those not available would show with their names in red or something to that effect. | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/28/2007 9:44:22 AM | @ E. Kyro
Great idea, gonna have to grab a bunch of stamps and have 'Taken' stamped on our foreheads, or better yet, go with a big letter 'A'....
@ OP.... seems this question has been asked and answered on all sorts of levels. seems to have had a devisive effect on the PoF masses....
My thinking is, when at a PoF event, it would be nice to meet people in general, but instead it seems we will have gys on one single guys holding up one wall, single girls on the other wall.... and now a special wall for the 'takens'.... lol | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/28/2007 10:11:12 AM |
@ E. Kyro
Great idea, gonna have to grab a bunch of stamps and have 'Taken' stamped on our foreheads, or better yet, go with a big letter 'A'....
Not like we're asking you to wear a tent and veil like the Arabs do. 
seems we will have gys on one single guys holding up one wall, single girls on the other wall.... and now a special wall for the 'takens'.... lol
Hmm, worked well before the internet came along....maybe you got something there. | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:12:30 PM | | @justastudent i know from a few of the events that i have been to that they do give out different coloured beeds meaning different things for example one of the brampton parties had blue beeds for unavailable and red ones for hot and looking and a few other colors. It just depends on the people organizing these events and it does take alot of work and planning. Just my 2 cents. | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:23:23 PM | If we use this page as a straw-poll(or the last page if this ends up on top), then going from bottom to top we have:
Long Term
Dating
Dating
Dating
Friends
Friends
Friends
Friends
Long Term
Short Term
Friends
Friends
Friends
Friends
Friends
Dating
Friends
Talk/Email
It looks like a pretty even split - 50% friends 50% the rest. Then I noticed the majority of the rest are guys, while the majority of friends are women.
Shappy said you all enjoy this place, as it has turned into the morning coffee shop. Perhaps Ontario needs a split, into SINGLE - NOT SINGLE. It's really not fair to come in here and be over-ridden by people who were one year ago crying the single blues, but today are just so happy they have a SO. Move along into the NOT SINGLE FORUM PLEASE.
I cannot imagine the pi*s*s off it must be to land at a POF SINGLES event, only to wander to a card carrying member of POF out enjoying themselves, just to find out they brought their SO. That's stress no one needs or deserves.
Here you go married people - http://www.getphpbb.com/phpbb/new_forum.php
Free forums that you can set up and enjoy. Invite all your fellow cliquers, the people that aren't here to date, but you like so much. Good for all of you.
Leave the DATING sites for the single people.
thank you
Again, I will say breifly, if the owner of the site wished for this to be a singles only site, he would have fashioned the site so as to not accomodate those who are together. I think the couples who are still on this site actually are a benefit because it shows the site actually works.
There are dozens of sites like that out there, so if the format of this website isn't your cup of tea, then instead of inviting all the people who enjoy the site for what it is now away from here, it would be easier for you and all those who don't find this site accommodating to their needs to search elsewhere. | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:40:17 PM | Is it just me, or does it not seem like its been well established in this thread that people come to this site and stay on this site for a variety of reasons?? I know I took a stance on one side at one point in the proceedings, but having read all the reasons and considered all the arguments presented, I know can't see that any reason for being here is any less legitimate than any other. After all, in "real time" social interaction, do we (or can we) sort people out by relationship status? No. We're all looking for whatever we're looking for, just as others are, and things in life are seldom exactly the way you want them..
As for the events, I can see no harm in differentiating the truly single from the unavailable. If someone is ther just to make friends and be sociable, it should make no difference. If someone is there looking for other singles, it would definitely spare people a certain amount of uncertainty and embarrassment. If things got too complex, I'd hate to get down to having to wearing a Bar Code so people can tell exactly what my status is and what I'm looking for!! | |
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| why do some people stay on a dating site when they have met a mate ??
Posted: 1/29/2007 3:28:38 AM | @ason
First off, let me make this very clear. I am on a dating site. I AM dating, I am just not dating YOU. Secondly, I have never ‘cried the singles blues’. I met The Boyfriend here.
@OP
I met a number of wonderful people here as a result of going to functions. Through those venues I have established some truly unbreakable friendships. I want to be there when my single friends find ‘matches’, and there when ‘dating friends’, share stories and make me laugh.
PoF events. There seems to be somewhat of a misconception that when people attend these events, that there will be a line up of single girls and a line up of single guys and you just need to go out, see the one you want and pluck them out of the line-up then, bam! You have your match. This of course is a fallacy. What you will see, is a huge group of people, all shapes, sizes, races, ages. All there to have fun and get to know each other. You will probably meet a few people who pique your interest. They may or may not be interested in you too.
As for the Forums. There seems to be a misconception that we can’t contribute anything useful because we are dating and so therefore should be silenced.
Today in the Ontario Forum:
1. The significance of the rose
2. What is easier to do, trust or distrust
3. One hit wonders
4. Yikes its cold
5. How to spot a nice guy
Pretty sure everyone has something to contribute…..
Finally, why do dating people attend the events along side the single people? I for one have enjoyed reading the thoughts of fellow posters and would love to meet them in person; just to name a few:
Mirage9, Nascar, Kitkat, JeepRennie, dbelle, prof chaos, DantesInferno, E.Kyro, Sharp Witted One.... so many more but I am sure that this point of view will be lost in the battle of 'to be allowed to stay or be turfed cause a person's status has been changed to dating. JMHO~sigh~..... (and that's my final answer).
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