| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 3/25/2007 4:00:54 AM | My Ex and i are friends and yes i would do anything to help if i could and he asked.
He is looking after my pets for me while im away on holidays this week....so yes im sure if i was in a bind he would help if he could.
Its all about being caring to one another....you once loved each other and had a great friendship....yes things can go wrong and you find yourself suddenly in a different place wanting different things in life but why should that stop you from being friends and helping each other out if the need arises.
Thats the way i look at things......its all about being a nice person and helping others no matter who they are if you can | |
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ya472
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Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 202 | |
| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 3/25/2007 9:25:26 AM |
Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Call 911, they are better equipped to handle an emergency.
I helped her for 20 years.... and , well, uhmmmmmm... life is.
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 3/25/2007 11:40:50 AM | Jeffery dalmer is dead silly boy.... and of course you would have his number..he likes boys | |
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 3/29/2007 9:13:58 PM | Of course..it would depend on the situation splitsville happened...for me I would & I know he would to..I would feel comfortable enough to call & ask...although it has only been a month, ask again in a few months time...  | |
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 3/29/2007 10:01:41 PM | | Sure I would help my ex wife if she needed something I could help her with. I don't talk to her anymore - that was my choice but she would help me if there was somthing she could do that I needed done. | |
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 3/31/2007 9:42:19 AM | I actually broke up with a guy because all he could talk about was his ex that needed help and rides all the time because she was stranded or going through a hard time in her life or whatever.
exs are exs for a reason, and I really dont think its healthy to be around or talk to them if your trying to move on and especially meet someone new.
There is alot of history, feelings invovled and it only makes things worse when you are around them, hang out with them or talk to them frequently. No one can be just friends with an ex because they have been in a relationship before, so the history (feelings, experiences) will always be there and that is something that cannot be changed.
I have tried to talk to a few of my exs, hang out with them many times, and it only makes things more complicated and stressful. its not worth the trouble.
Some people think they are glad because they somehow fixed what was once broken between them, and can still be on good terms.... but it doesnt really benefit anyone in the relationship especially when trying to become invovled with someone new. It may be a nice thought that you can actually still get along, but thats all your doing and no one is really moving on or letting go, and that is a very important thing to learn in life especially invovling people and close realtionships.
"change is in the air"
I refuse to deal with anyone who cant get over their exs(or so called friends) and especially guys who have girlfriends. People who hang onto their exs have issues with comfort, trust, attension and security.
I refuse to deal with any of my exs because although they may seem like their trying to be nice or helpful they still have so many issues and drama with the past they will never forget about.. and that is not a true friend( someone who talks to you to make you jealous, or try to get you back, or just adds more drama to your life because they secretly dont want you to be happy if they arnt)
I guess everyone has different qualities they value in a friend and some are healthy, benefical and some just arnt.
There are millions of decent people in the world, why need to be friends with an ex?
I think more people would be happy, healthier and in need of less need of help if they just learned to let go of certain things and people. | |
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:48:13 AM | Well, I am friends with every ex I ever had, so I would help if I could. Since my relationships were first grounded in friendship and then in other things, when the romantic part of those relationships ended, I saw no reason to destroy the best part of that relationship, which was a deep, abiding friendship.
<div class="quote">I refuse to deal with anyone who cant get over their ex (or so called friends) and especially guys who have girlfriends. People who hang onto their exs have issues with comfort, trust, attension and security.
All I can say is that nothing could be further from the truth and you ought to read the above statement. It answers all of the questions you have about why someone may hold on to a relationship. | |
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:56:06 AM | | It's not a cut-and-dried decision, as many factors would affect my decision here. But for the most part, no. Sure, an ex is someone I cared, but the caring was in the past. To make records clear, I *never* wished any harm on my exes, but I prefer to a break-up to be just that: going separate ways. After all, she is an ex for a reason. However, I would refer her to appropriate sources of help: give her the number of a cab or a towing company, then call to check up on her the next day. Of course, in a life-and-death situation, I would go out and help her. With that said, people absolutely need to take some basic responsibility for themselves. So if my ex drove her car somewhere far with little gas in the tank and no money in her wallet, it's a matter of negligence, not being a victim of unfortunate circumstances. In this case, I would still tell her where she can get help, but I would leave it at that. | |
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 3/31/2007 11:14:27 AM | I am only recently seperated, and wish my ex no ill will or malice in her new life in returning to the states.
While a lot of people are saying what they would like to think they would do...examine in your heart what you would do.
Example(truth)
I have had an operation for a craniopjaryngioma( a rare brain tumour only about 300 new cases every year in the USA for example) and while i was still recovering less than 24 hours from surgery she was planning her plane ticket back to the USA.
I still have radiotherapy to go through and run a high risk of blindness, brain damage or damage to my pituatry gland(thats where the tumour is attached)
Think I would be likely to put myself out again for her after that betrayal of trust?
No way! She made her bed, now she can sleep in it.
Mick. | |
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 3/31/2007 11:43:10 AM | | I would help. What if something happens to me? I would like to know I could call her for help too.... | |
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 3/31/2007 11:51:19 AM | I would do whatever I could to help my ex or anyone else, even if I was still upset about whatever had happened between us before that....Not to help someone just because they are an ex or because of something from the past seems petty.
Well, I am friends with every ex I ever had, so I would help if I could. Since my relationships were first grounded in friendship and then in other things, when the romantic part of those relationships ended, I saw no reason to destroy the best part of that relationship, which was a deep, abiding friendship.
^^^I agree with this | |
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 3/31/2007 12:18:19 PM | One of my ex's and I, well, we're both pet-lovers, very attached to our cats. She called me up one day because she had to put one of her cats to sleep, and she didn't want to be alone for it. I took a long lunch (she lives right over the hill from my job), the mobile vet came over and put him to sleep, we both cried a bit (her more than me, but he was part of my household when we were living together, part of my life too), and then she picked a spot in her back yard and I dug a hole and we buried him, then I went back to work while she planted some flowers on his grave...
3 years later, one of my cats was diagnosed w/ cancer, and after a couple months of trying to give him the best 'last days' I could, I called her up, and she came over to be with me while the same mobile vet came over to put my cat to sleep. She took me out to lunch, and we talked, and then I came home and buried him.
We both still care about each other, but there's never going to be "anything more" between us. If either of us had been in a relationship at those times, we would have had our SO's there and no, we probably wouldn't have called each other, and we don't talk on a regular basis or anything, but if she, or any friend, male or female (even if not an ex), called me just for company or just a "friendly voice" because a pet, or a parent, sibling, etc, died... yeah, I'd be there for them. Its called compassion. | |
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 3/31/2007 1:50:20 PM | | I would, but I would help the Devil if he needed a ride so I don't know if my opinion counts for much... | |
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 3/31/2007 2:06:57 PM | I have in the past and I don't regret it. The last guy I was in a relationship with was in need but there was also something I needed in return so we worked something out. But we didn't have bad blood so that part was okay.
And I did with my youngest son's father and my husband before he died.
Only you know if the guy was a scumbag. You don't say how long you've been apart or why you broke up so it's impossible for me to speculate on any possible reason he might have thought (rightly or wrongly) made it okay. | |
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Tarika
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Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 217 | |
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jstuni
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Joined: 3/27/2007
Msg: 218 | |
| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 3/31/2007 3:04:47 PM | | Well, I think for most people it depends what caused the break up in the first place... But as for me, I would help out in a heart beat, some people just can't get over things and hold a grudge. But ya I'd do it | |
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 5/8/2007 8:38:11 PM | | Yes I have help ex's when they were in need. It is who I am I will be there for any one I know as it is the decent thing to do. Usually an x calls only if they have exhausted all other resources. | |
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 5/8/2007 9:20:22 PM | | I always let my ex's know when we break up whether it's me doing the dumping or me being heartbroken, that if they ever feel alone and need some help, I'll be there unconditionally. | |
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 5/8/2007 9:22:43 PM | I absolutely would help. But my ex situations have all been amicable, and we each have been decent people.
Honestly it doesn't really matter. If stranger somehow got hold of me, and convinced me that they weren't out to rob/kill me, I'd help them if they were desperate. It's simple too - I'd like someone to help me if I was desperate. | |
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 5/8/2007 9:55:15 PM | It depends on the situation, circumstances and request, but if is a valid need and I am in a position to help, most definitely I will do it, provided that no other sources (family, friends, lovers) were available to help her at that time.
PC2000 | |
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 5/9/2007 12:13:35 AM | | I have only one ex, so my answer is specific to her. Hell NO. She could have had everything I have, but she decided that she wanted a boyfriend while I was working third shift. I have a car. He has a broken bicycle. I have a steady job, he works as a temp. She made her bed, so she should LIE (and will LIE) in it. By LIE I mean BOTH definitions of the word. | |
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j4t2ou
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Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 224 | |
| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 5/9/2007 2:45:03 AM | | I would help the mother of my children as long as I felt I wasn't being used. I would help out with bad luck but not lack of planning. Poor planning is forgivable but no planning doesn't mean I need to rescue. | |
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| Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 5/31/2007 7:40:40 AM | I would absolutely help.
I refuse to ever be the one who is too bitter over the past to give them the same respect that I gave before, even if "the love is gone." | |
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