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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 1/18/2007 9:20:15 PM | If you are being thought of, he will usually call.
My poor significant other is so stressed at work he asked me to call at intervals to remind him that he had a life outside the office. I don't mind. I know he gets tied up at work. | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 1/18/2007 10:16:58 PM | I'm gonna have to agree with the majority on here...there really isn't much of a reason to NOT call someone you dig...(no matter how long the relationship...whether it's 2 months, or two years of being together)..when you like someone, it's only natural to want to talk to them...
I can only think of a few reasons NOT to call.
1) Got hit by a truck and are in traction
2) Are arrested in jail (in which case you wouldn't want them to call)
3) Broke your jaw fallin' down steps....
4) Sudden life threatening illness (God forbid) of your child or parent
And....that's all I can think of.....
Busy with work (which is what tons of people use as an excuse)...doesn't wash, imho.
Busy with the kids and work...ditto
Busy with the kids, work, overtime, working out, still doesn't fly...
I know when I'm crazy busy (and I'm a single mom, work full time, have a lot of friends, actually get to go out socializing too) have several hobbies...I STILL will find the time, to call someone I'm thinking of...and especially if it's a guy I dig.
So far, only one guy on this thread has honestly fessed up a vaild reason not to call (and mind you...that reason could only work sometimes (msg 2 where the guy said if he's out with his buddies, and it would be rude to call, in a particular situation...like during a game..) HOWEVER there's not much to stop him from calling on the way to his buddies or on the way home, am I right???? | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 1/18/2007 10:38:28 PM | If you are being thought of, he will usually call.
Personally, I've been quiet busy and making the call wasn't easy (at least it's not so bad with ubiquitous cellphones now). But I've always made the call; just wasn't always able to talk very long. Sometimes the you just have to get the work done and additional pressure doesn't make it any easier. Sigh. There's just no good solution. But sometimes a little understand can help a lot. | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 1/19/2007 12:34:29 AM | | In an age where 10 year old kids have cell phones along with every other person being "too busy" is total BS. I don't carry a cell phone myself but have never found it impossible to make a call if I really was interested. | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 1/19/2007 12:43:02 AM | I can only think of a few reasons NOT to call.
1) Got hit by a truck and are in traction
2) Are arrested in jail (in which case you wouldn't want them to call)
3) Broke your jaw fallin' down steps....
4) Sudden life threatening illness (God forbid) of your child or parent
1 She would be the first person I would call or get a message too
2 From Jail I am allowed only one call ,, she ,,would,,,,
3 I send a text message on my mobile
4 First message again please come help...
No Excuse  Lol | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 1/19/2007 1:16:15 AM | Busy with work (which is what tons of people use as an excuse)...doesn't wash, imho.
Tough.
I'm an engineer. My job is mentally exhausting, and quite often I come home so zoned out that all I want to do is flop on the sofa for a few hours with my cat and then doze off. On the off-chance that my phone rings and it's one of my gal pals, I usually can't manage more than a few sympathetic grunts before I ask to be left alone.
I'd love to talk to these people. But sometimes I'm just got capable, and to me there's no point in calling someone if all you're going to do is breathe into the phone. It's not fair to the person on the other end.
My boss is in the office, running himself ragged, until 11pm every night. I don't even work half as hard as he does and I still come home tired.
So, I'm sorry if my earning a living means I don't call you like clockwork. I'll call when I can, and that's going to have to be good enough for you. Unless we're married, putting food on my table comes first, no questions asked. 'sides, if I didn't like you I wouldn't call you *at all*. | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 1/19/2007 9:38:41 AM | | I totally agree with you Anenigma. Whether a guy calls when he says he will is a "big" thing for me...to me it indicates whether he is considerate and can be counted on to do what he says he will....It is so easy to say you will do one thing then forego it because it isn't convenient for you. But I do have to say that "Trick_1 also made a point and made me realize that some guys are probably nervous or shy about calling ...I am very shy and am glad I am not a guy under the pressure of having to make that contact...I get nervous just answering the call and trying to think of things to say. Once I get to know someone I am not shy but initially it is painful. | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 1/19/2007 10:52:55 AM | You also have to realize that a lot of women will lose interest in a guy that calls too often. For every woman that thinks it's "sweet" that he's thinking of her, there's half a dozen that will file a restraining order and hide in her closet 'cause "OMG, stalker!111!one!"
I totally agree with you Anenigma. Whether a guy calls when he says he will is a "big" thing for me...to me it indicates whether he is considerate and can be counted on to do what he says he will.
The OP didn't say anything about guys saying they'd call and then not calling, she was wondering about them calling in general. If anyone, male or female, has no intention of calling you, then they shouldn't say that they will. | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 1/19/2007 11:01:26 AM | | I think a good principle is to, "Bottom Line " everything. If something is important or someone? NO ! If someone says they are too busy to call you, it just says you are insignificant...Bottom line. | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 1/19/2007 12:07:49 PM | Wonkabar, I think blondeandhappy was actually reading between the lines of my post (which is not entirely incorrect, I posted the question, out there for the guys, but really for all) this scenario, being 'too busy' to call, can affect men too. I've done it myself. Not that I'm happy I've done it...BUT more so in a casual way...as in a reply to "Call me" where I answered OK.
Have I ever told someone "I'll call you Thursday after work" and then just NOT called...at all?
No, haven't done that.
There is a bottome line to this as jnevaras said
I think a good principle is to, "Bottom Line " everything. If something is important or someone? NO ! If someone says they are too busy to call you, it just says you are insignificant...Bottom line.
I know as I get older, I look at the 'bottom line' more and more, to save myself a lot of wasted thoughts/time/etc.....
MY THEORY IS ;
There is a direct correlation with whether someone is calling you, BUSY OR NOT, to how much someone as into that person. Fundamentally, we are selfish human beings, and we do what we want. I truly believe if you like someone, you make the time for them, period. As in 'wild horses can't drag you away'
Now of course, as wonkabar said (which is an entirely different topic
You also have to realize that a lot of women will lose interest in a guy that calls too often. For every woman that thinks it's "sweet" that he's thinking of her, there's half a dozen that will file a restraining order and hide in her closet 'cause "OMG, stalker!111!one!" well, I tend to agree but disagree...calling someone 10, 15 times a day, different story...that wasn't my question...off topic...
Which leads me to, if you do the math...(and I haven't, just guessing here) the majority of people say they are NOT too busy to call someone they're into. Period.
I don't buy the too tired from work line. Sorry..I'm a Registered Nurse, work full time, (talk all day to my patients, collegues, doctors, etc...) come home and start my second job as a mom, talk to my kids (and my mom who is now living in my home) AND if I'm into a guy...say he called me during the day and left a message...I will make the time to call him, even if it's just to say "Hey..hello there, got your message, I'm really beat from work, but I just wanted to call and say hello, see how you're doing...and cut it short!"
Why? Because if I'm 'into him'...I don't want him to get away...I don't want to miss out on him, or take a chance that he starts to look elsewhere...and finds someone else...so, no matter how busy...I'll keep the lines of communication open, to indicate I am interested, still interested, or just want him to know, no matter how busy I am, I'm thinking of him.
That's MY bottom line | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 1/19/2007 12:38:50 PM | well, I tend to agree but disagree....that wasn't my question...off topic...
Actually, it's not a different topic. If a guy doesn't call all that often (or at all) and gives you the "I'm busy" excuse, he could be trying to make it seem like he has a lot going on. That he has a life outside of trying to make you happy. Many women don't like men who "seem" to make them their entire world. If a woman says "call me" and the guy immediately says "okay!", and then does, that tells her that he jumps when she says jump - and that turns her off.
He may think she's the greatest thing since sliced bread, but he could also be afraid of turning her away by calling too often.
.calling someone 10, 15 times a day, different story...that wasn't my question...
And that wasn't my answer to your question. I didn't say anything about frequency of calls per day, I said "calls too often". "Too often" is subjective. For some women, too often is twice a week. For others, too often is twice a day.
Even if I meet a woman that knocks my socks off I am going to be careful about calling her too often, because in the back of my mind I will be wondering if she's going to react negatively.
Now, if the guy doesn't call you *at all*, then it's a pretty good indication he's not into you.
I don't buy the too tired from work line. Sorry..I'm a Registered Nurse, work full time, (talk all day to my patients, collegues, doctors, etc...) come home and start my second job as a mom, talk to my kids (and my mom who is now living in my home) AND if I'm into a guy...say he called me during the day and left a message...I will make the time to call him, even if it's just to say "Hey..hello there, got your message, I'm really beat from work, but I just wanted to call and say hello, see how you're doing...and cut it short!"
Well I'm sorry, but you are not me - and if I say I'm too busy, and too tired, to call someone, then I am. If you don't like it, it's not my problem. My closest friend, whom I've known for 13 years, who is also a registered nurse, works two jobs, goes to school, and has a two year old daughter, is also pretty bad about returning phone calls for this reason. Just because we're in the "minority" according to your math doesn't make our position on the subject any less valid.
Okay, that sounds kinda snappy - but to be honest, there's too much left unknown, here. Did you just meet the person, or are you already an item? Making an effort to call someone you like has a different connotation when you've been going together for, like, a year or two than with someone you met in the bar last weekend. | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 1/19/2007 1:09:39 PM | Well, I still think it's off topic to discuss the frequeny of calls or calling. I'm simply asking guys if they've ever been too busy to call. I don't see how that is related to how often ..but for arguments sake...I can definitely see and understand to be 'too busy' to call someone so often that you are concerned you're calling TOO much, as you mentioned. I would certainly hope that someone I was involved with or interested was too busy to call me multiple times throughout the day...And I don't like if a guy calls me 17 times a day...that's not my question in this thread. I understand that people who work, have kids, etc...are too busy for that.
Now, with your busy life, your friend's busy life (who by the way, you didn't mention if she was single or not...I wonder, if she is...if she found a great guy, would she be too busy to call him? OR if she's not single, is she too busy to call her significant other, when they're apart, during the day, say when they're working...? No "Hi, how are you hun?" phone calls between them...(I was in her shoes once, when I was married, had a baby and was going to school and working...my ex and I still talked on the phone at times when he was working OR when I was doing one of the above things) and my busy life...I'm not going to say there aren't days where I don't pick up the phone to chat with friends....just to chat...there are many days I don't have the time and don't WANT to talk on the phone.
BUT, I still stand by my opinion in that...whether we're talking about a NEW love interest or even within the context of a relationship that's lasted 2 yrs...how busy could you be not to call for several days, or a week? And we're talking about someone YOU LIKE, possibly love?
To me, that's not a good foundation to build a new relationship on (not IF there is interest on both people's part) AND it wouldn't fly with me if I was seeing someone for 2 yrs, exclusively and he was just too busy to call me all week. Obviously, in both cases = I'm just not that important to him.
I've learned throught my life experiences, that we make time for things that are meaningful to us. We prioritize, sort through what matters and what doesn't. | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 1/19/2007 1:39:08 PM |
who by the way, you didn't mention if she was single or not...I wonder, if she is...if she found a great guy, would she be too busy to call him? OR if she's not single, is she too busy to call her significant other, when they're apart, during the day, say when they're working...? No "Hi, how are you hun?" phone calls between them...
Good question. She's currently single after ten years of marriage ending in a "mutual" divorce. I say mutual because she married a jackass and nobody, including me, could convince her that he was a jackass. Ten years later, she'd had enough of his jackassery - and when she went to file, turns out he'd filed first. Charming fellow.
I only have a vague experience with what she's like with guys she's dating, 'cause we dated briefly before she hooked up with Lame Brain - but even then, we didn't fall all over each other to call. She doesn't mind guys calling her, but she doesn't make a huge effort herself.
BUT, I still stand by my opinion in that...whether we're talking about a NEW love interest or even within the context of a relationship that's lasted 2 yrs...how busy could you be not to call for several days, or a week? And we're talking about someone YOU LIKE, possibly love?
I can easily not call a new love interest for a few days, either because I'm too busy, or because I, as said above, am trying not to call too often. Two years? If we're together that long, chances are we're seeing one another in person often enough so as to make phone calls unnecessary. | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 1/19/2007 3:08:05 PM |
Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Maybe not RIGHT AWAY. There are times during the business day when it's tough to step out of a meeting or get away from a mind-consuming task, or call at a predetermined time due to one of the above. However, when it's convenient, it's appropriate to give a short call even if it's to say "sorry honey I'm swamped now I will try you again when I'm not so swamped". Also, maybe you are separated from your cell phone or other phones for some reason, then you can't call because of logistics.
Have I ever told someone "I'll call you Thursday after work" and then just NOT called...at all?
No, haven't done that.
It seems reasonable that you should be able to call someone at the end of a workday, even if it's to say "sorry honey I'm really pooped, going to take a nap, I will call back later".
Generally though it is a B.S. excuse to say "sorry honey I'm too busy to call". | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 2/4/2007 9:25:25 AM | Hmmm, guess I'm showing up a little late here but gonna throw in my two cents worth anyway.
I use to date this girl and we were usually both pretty busy. She'd call my home phone when she had the time, fully knowing I would be at work and wouldn't answer, and leave the cutest little purring sounds on the aswering machine..I'd smile foolishly as I kept hitting the 'repeat message' button over and over.
Her fifteen second message was enough to make a happy ending of an otherwise hectic day. I learned that I could do the same for her.
Sooo, when you really care, you'll ALWAYS find the time to show it. | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 2/6/2007 2:04:01 PM | | If I'm into a woman, and she feels the same I will call her just to hear her voice. If for some reason I can't call at a prearranged time, I will explain the problem when I can call her, and if she doesn't understand than she has a problem. I have a track record, and if I suddenly break that record, she should not worry. When I do call she will know what happened. I never blowoff my woman, and if I didn't want to have some sort of contact with her on a daily basis, than maybe it's time for me to move on. If I tell a woman I just met that I would call in a few days I will call, that's how I start a track record. I like to be reliable, even when I'm unpredictable. I'll call her when I'm at her door to surprise her. | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 2/7/2007 9:48:54 PM | Anenigma,
The bottom line is if a guy is interested enough, he'll find the time. By the way, that's not applicable to guys only. Women do the same thing. To be blunt, if someone is interested enough, they'll be in contact - and frequently so. The only grey area is when it comes to people who have a "semi-interest." In those cases, it's best to be very sweet, BUT hard to get. That can sometimes sway someone who's straddling the proverbial fence into your court. (The only problem with playing hard to get in that kind of a situation is you're probably not in frequent contact with that person to begin with so, in that situation, HOW does one play hard to get? If you figure it out, I'd love to know.) | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 2/7/2007 11:51:33 PM | | It's a BS excuse no man is EVER too busy to call UNLESS he is in the military out in the field training where your not allowed to have any kinda of phones. Men who know how to play the dating game won't call very often because they KNOW better. They know that you have to give women the gift of missing you to increase her attraction level. | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 2/7/2007 11:58:59 PM |
no man is EVER too busy to call UNLESS he is in the military out in the field training where your not allowed to have any kinda of phones
Or:
* in a meeting with the CEO
* on a support call with an important customer
* phone system is out (Verizon lost most of my country for a day once)
* busy wondering why she didn't call and not wanting to bug her
* was busy writing code and didn't know the clock moved that fast
Men who know how to play the dating game
Are men that play games worth dating? | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 2/8/2007 12:06:28 AM | | No never call then the lady expects a call all the time... No never call lol get outta my way I NEED the PHONE ,,,Yes always have to hear the voice.touch base umm like to hear her purrr !!! | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 2/8/2007 11:20:10 AM | If I'm really into a woman, I'm never too busy. I don't call everyday...depending on the amount of time we have known each other. If she's got me in a writhing fit of gutwrenching attraction....always find time  . | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 2/8/2007 1:01:27 PM | | In this day of e-mail, cell phones, im's, text messages etc, there is no reason someone cant send a simple "Hello". I am one of the easiest people to get in touch with, if you give it a little effort. I still hear women tell me they have been too busy to say hi. OP Guys hear it too. I have never been so busy I can't send some form of hello to a person I am interested in or dating. | |
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| A question for the Guys...Ever been TOO BUSY TO CALL?
Posted: 2/8/2007 1:27:18 PM | Yes I have.
Ad campaign with a huge launch parties that I was arranging in different cities. Sorry, but when stuff like that comes around, no one gets my immediate attention, other than the event.
And I got my just rewards, no more meets. But heck, it was a time in my life where my career meant a lot more to me than a woman did. | |
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