| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 6/11/2008 3:31:36 PM | what started as a good debate has deteriorated into foolish emotive rambling. very disappointing, and far too much bumf to wade through.
i would like to add...
Firstly. DO NOT EVER CAST ASPERSIONS ABOUT ANOTHER PERSONS MOTHER That is a sure way to piss someone off!
i was not casting aspersions about your mother. i was suggesting you read your files! you are the one who mentioned your mother. so now you're pissed off... yeah..? and...? so what...? if you are attempting to intimidate, you have failed. sticks and stones can break my bones, but capital letters do f*ck all....
Please don't insult me by sugesting that I don't know what happened in my own life.
memories change over a period of time, i'm sure if you look there will be research that will expand on that, or don't you know how to do that research either?
I will do, but i am no social worker and do not know where to start. So I need someone to tell me what sorts of papers and laws have been and gone so that I know where to look. I'm not omnicient you know, I need someone to tell me things like....
A good place to start is the Every Child Matters paper which bought about the Children Act 2004.
this, so that I can actually do the research
but your have been informed regarding where to start doing the research, why mention it again? go and do it! i find the excuse that you are not a sw and don't know where to start a pathetic excuse! if you were really interested, you would have taken the time to find out. it's not rocket science.
those of you who have posted negatively should be ashamed of yourselves. if ss are doing such a terrible job, why are you wasting your time and effort on a forum where nothing can be done?? if you feel so strongly then get off your bitter whining moaning bums and get yourself out there and do something about it !!! children's lives depend on you, your "passion" could make a difference. | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 6/25/2008 11:38:58 AM | Instead of making a new thread about social services I thought I would add to this one I found in the search
Has anyone been falsely accused on wrong doing by the SS? Anyone been the victim of malicious neighbours?
I had a letter the other day saying SS wanted to see me and my son, they had received an anonymous phone call that I couldnt look after my son and was always staying away at night and leaving him.
I nearly died when I read it. All week Ive been trying to get SS on the phone, today I finally succeeded.
I made it damn clear to SS on the phone that my son is never left on his own, nor is he left while I stay away at night (with work) - my mum is always with him when I work away.
How the fvck can malicious neighbours get away with sort of thing when its clearly BS?
Oh yeah SS still want to interview us. I am so bloody angry.  | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 6/25/2008 11:54:10 AM | Legally social services HAVE to interview you before they can close the file. Don't fret just ask them to come to your home and make sure your mother is present. Don't let them catch you alone, and feel free to take notes. they will check where the child sleeps and your kitchen (so do the washing up before they turn up and offer em a cuppa).
If your Mum drops the little one off at school/nursery - have copies of your authorisation letters to hand. Do the same with any written instructions you have given to your GP saying that you give her permission to authorise medical treatment. Hell show em a copy of your will.
The social worker will then get the chance to meet both yourself and your Mum in person and can ask your Mum about what instructions you leave her while you are away. The two of you have a routine that comes of familiarity built up over time - that can't be faked, neither can the relationship your child has with the 2 of you (yes they will want to see how you all interact, nothing to fret about there).
The social worker may also visit your child at school unannounced - again you have nothing to fret about the child will simply be asked - does Granny mind you sometimes? simple question, simple answer.
You'll probably get a very irritated social worker apologising for wasting your time while he/she frets about the number of GENUINE "at risk" files they have sitting on their desk back at the office, and it'll be case closed. If there's one thing child protection workers hate above all else it's malicious accusations, future calls from the same source will be gently rebuffed, as they just don't have the time.
Just be polite and remember the social worker probably doesn't want to waste time on your case anymore than you want the intrusion. The hardest part will be booking a day off work and having to sit there while they check your fridge to see if the child has grub in the house. | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 6/25/2008 12:10:58 PM | Thanks faithfey,
I spoke at length with the ss woman on the phone today about it all. At first she wouldnt tell me, and asked if I could be patient, I said no quite frankly Im not willing to sit here upset and thinking about it.
And I said I understand she has to come round and it would be more than her lifes worth to take my word for it and not bother, after all I could be a huge liar (Im not btw).
The house is always tidy (i get someone in), fridge is always full etc, his bedroom is clean but not always tidy (tough I'll tell her, he's 9 wtf do you expect).
But yeah the arrangements with my folks is we both have a wall planner and every week we get together and see when she needs to come over etc. And I said to the SS woman that all this week I have worked from home except for Monday when I went to Kingston uni but god damn I was back by 3. I make my customer appts to fit my sons school hours, or if I know I wont get back till 4 or 5 etc my mum comes over.
I told her Im away most of next week, but then have the whole of the following week at home. I also said tough titty about that, I have an excellent job and do have to stay away some nights, unlike the rest of the street who literally are all on social security.
I told her this was largely born out of jealousy, I drive an 08 car and they struggle on the bus. We have money left at the end of the month and they month left at the end of the money. And that is what it omes down to, I go to appts in nice suits and glittery cufflinks, and they all sit out in the street gossiping all day. And they dont like it. Im not one of them and this is their way of showing disapproval to me.
Ive had this before from them, even had the rspca round last month, and my brand new motor has been keyed twice inthe last 5 weeks. And a 14 yr old threatened my son the way to school today that he was going to kill us both with a baseball bat.
One thing I cant wait to see is her face when she arrives in my street and see its like downtown Basra here and she's knocking on the wrong effing door!!!
But she can fuk off if she thinks she is routing through my cupboards and fridge etc.
ohhh Im so angry. | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 6/25/2008 12:49:50 PM | they won't route thru your cupboards - simply open the fridge door - if there's food in it that's enough. They have a really basic checklist they have to go thru (check fridge does it contain grub or special brew, does child have bed to kip in). The police use the same checklist at most visits to homes involving kids so it's very simple and quick. Don't get stroppy or the routine cursory glance will be stretched out into more than it should just to watch the steam come out of your ears lol!
They won't expect a 9 year olds room to be pristine - in fact it'd prob set alarm bells ringing if it was! Neither are they expecting your home to look like Anthea Turner's Martha Stewarts. They are visiting a family home. So long as it doesn't look like the before pics on Kim and Aggie's "How clean is your house"
Remember the sw is a busy professional who probably has to get back in time to collect HER kids from the minders too!
One thing I will say though is that unless you live literally next door to your Mum, have you thought about moving? Being around total chavs day in day out isn't the best environment for a kid, especially when they get to their teens. Boys especially can be led astray and with the best will in the world all kids rebel a bit at some point. It's better if they rebel with "suitable peers", (sorry I sound like a snob but with gang culture etc around today I'm sure you get what I mean).
If this is generated by envy it won't stop, it'll escalate and one day it won't be your car they scratch - your kid could get hurt. Bullying ain't quite what it used to be. Not trying to scare you but in your shoes I'd either be trying to befriend a few neighbours OR getting my kid the hell otta there before he hits his teens. | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 6/25/2008 1:39:55 PM | I hear ya completely.
We are defo looking to move, Ive already been in to the estate agents and told them. What we're going to do is look hard and then when my commision comes in we're off then. Which will be Augusts pay. I want us to be sensible about moving and not go at it and skint our selves out or anything.
Me laddo wants to go to the grammar school next year which is in the next town up so we may look to move there, and just change his primary school for this last year.
Im just bloody unhappy about the whole thing really. And I just know they will all be out in the street gossiping as she arrives. | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 6/28/2008 2:03:43 PM | Ok I have to admit i have not read all the postings on here as the few i read were getting me so sad that I just needed to post my opinions!
Social Care and Health is a difficult field to work in (and yeah look at my profile I am a qualified social worker) the frustations come from the lengthy process to make a child safe in the first instant it is always to do so in the famil home, or within a kinship care arrangement!
Secondly to become a social worker you cannot learn on the job it is a 3 year degree at university with a 180 days academic and 180 days placement experience!
Thirdly, I do not agree necessarily we have sh1t social workers (although we have good and bad professionals of all varieties) but we have a system that is hard to work with! One of the key factors for this is the lack of social workers this in my opinion stems from the bad press we recieve, although it is unforgivable for Anna Climbie to die such a beautiful young girl to suffer so much in such a short life, shoudl the focus really have been on the social worker? Was it her hands that killed that baby girl? I do not disagree that she shoudl have been prtected but can i just make you think what was the press coverage more about social services than her family, her own flesh and blood who inflicted such pain on her?????
Finally i understand that we are probably the most hated profession and many mothers would dread the day i knocked on their door ... but each door i knock on i hold no judgement i look at ways to ensure the child is safe and the family stay together as a unit .... but not every family can alow or just plain will not allow for that to happen!
Two sides to every storey i gues but OP I have mine first hand!!!!
Lisa Bx | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 7/23/2008 2:53:14 AM | Motley Maiden, I am sooo sorry to hear you experience, I guess by now the social worker has been round???
Did it go ok?
Were they understanding?
So the couple of things i wanted to be point out, SS do not know you, they would recieve tis call and if there was a 9 year old child on there own or at the hands of an uncaring parent wouldnt you want that invetsigated to ensure that that lets say your childs friend has a better life!
Secondly the referrer should not be anon so you could claify and I personally would tackle the issue not only directly but ask the social worker to send a letter informing them of how they have wasted valuable rescources in an already drained system when children are suffering abuse of a vile and cruel nature and she is their taking up their safety time!
Therefore it will be on the system that you have been falsely accused by someone with a vandetta!
Final thought for the day .... be mad at your neighbour not social services!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 7/23/2008 3:02:28 AM | I didn't read all the responses, as I think the post is cynical, one sided , inaccurate, intended as a 'strike back' and based on a personal experience.
Therefore, as a person who worked in social services for years, and has many friends in the sector, I agree that there are problems like any other job, but I think the post is an unnecessary scaremongering work of fiction. | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 8/13/2008 12:41:21 PM | I agree that the system is crap. I work for social services on the help desk and am constantly amazed at the constraints put upon good practice.
All of the training that we recieve, and trust me, we have some excellent training courses and trainers, encourage us to reflect on what we are doing, to remain non judgemental, not too discriminate, not put our own opinions on others etc. But when we return to work, the sheer case loads that we have to manage are astounding.
I work in childrens services and would have to agree that children are not removed lightly. The amount of paperwork, evidence etc that we have to fill in and gather is vast, and when the case eventually goes to court, it is the judge who makes the decision, not us.
Am really saddened to hear of all the people on this site who have had apalling experiences with social services, and would agree that there are some real crap social workers out there. I am starting university in Sept at the age of 42, and hope to make a difference to at least one families life in my career. It will be worth 3 years training to be able to keep a deserving family together and to do what we are really meant to do - HELP PEOPLE. | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 8/13/2008 1:08:29 PM |
Oh yeah SS still want to interview us. I am so bloody angry.
Don't be angry with Children's Services, even though the person who reported you got it wrong. I know that it is not a nice feeling being accused of doing something that your not but what if the nosey neighbour had got it right?
It is far better for the safety of the child to have it checked out.
If you thought children living near you were being treated wrongly would you not report it?
I hope Children's Services have been out to see you and that you have now got it all cleared up. | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 8/13/2008 1:41:21 PM | I am in temporary acomodation...a few months ago I had a home inspection...
I thought it had gone really well I tidied the place up and made sure that there was nothing out of place...however the woman arrived early and my daughter who had just turned 2 had just decided to paint the window with sudocrem. When she pointed it out I laughed and said '2year olds'
A few weeks later I recieved a letter from SS saying they had recieved a complaint from this lady ad they had to follow up on the coplaint. Naturally I was horrified and thought the worst. The social worker came over and we discussed the coplaint. She was amazing. The case was closed after the initial interview.
However as part of the interview my health visitor had to be present. She has now turned into the most millitant health visitor you could imagine!!!
She wants me to take my daughter to clinic every week (shes now 2 and a half) and takes it upon herself to make doctors appointments on my behalf and discusses my daughters health with the GP. I was absolutely fuming...my daughters health care has never been an issue shes up to date with all her jabs and ive only just tailed off going to clinic because her weight doesnt change week on week. I come from a medical background and the health visitor doesnt seem to take my word for it that i consulted a private consultant...when I quizes her about it ahe said it was a child protection issue. I then told her that social services had no reason to think my daughter was at risk and she shouldnt have any either. I got medical backup from the consultant I'd seen. I also contacted her boss...Even more worryingly for me my neighbours have a four month old child and despite numerous complaints to my housing worker nothing has been done...they argue at full volume until 1,2 in the morning and the smoke cannabis and drink every night. they have the baby in the back garden with them while doing this until they go in at 1 or 2 oclock. not to mention they are ALWAYS giving the baby calpole...we have repoted it (myself and other neighbours) and yet the council seem to not want to do anything...that poor child | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 8/13/2008 1:47:22 PM | LOL, The uk is skrewed it takes months to see a shrink, but a stupid mother gets all the help in the world wearther she wants or needs it or not !
RULE BRITANIA ? I think not , we lost out big time !!!!! | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 8/13/2008 3:30:10 PM | Paris message 112 - you are aware that having a HV is an OPTIONAL service.
If you don't like her the just thank the daffy cow for her time politely and tell her you feel you no longer require her services. You do not have to give a reason. Don't let her pull you into a discussion about it. If you are being hassled by her then just put it it a letter and pop it in the post. Many mothers don't bother with Health visitors so you won't be alone.
Your legal responsibilty is seek appropriate medical attention when your child requires it, and you are doing this. You also have to ensure your child is fed, clean, clothed loved and engaged in age appropriate activities to stimulate their mental development. So long as you are doing this her services are just not needed.
Health visitors are advisers to help parents along that path to good parenting in the early years. If she has issues with your parenting then her job is to report her concerns to the appropriate professionals - social workers and let them deal with you. All medical/educational/childcare professionals have the same legal requirement. She is not a trained social worker herself so is overstepping the mark. | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 8/13/2008 3:38:56 PM |
Motley Maiden, I am sooo sorry to hear you experience, I guess by now the social worker has been round???
Did it go ok?
Were they understanding?
So the couple of things i wanted to be point out, SS do not know you, they would recieve tis call and if there was a 9 year old child on there own or at the hands of an uncaring parent wouldnt you want that invetsigated to ensure that that lets say your childs friend has a better life!
Secondly the referrer should not be anon so you could claify and I personally would tackle the issue not only directly but ask the social worker to send a letter informing them of how they have wasted valuable rescources in an already drained system when children are suffering abuse of a vile and cruel nature and she is their taking up their safety time!
Therefore it will be on the system that you have been falsely accused by someone with a vandetta!
Final thought for the day .... be mad at your neighbour not social services!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi Lisa
No she hasnt been round yet, she kept cancelling due to illness, but no one let me know until I called them
That pissed me off, I lost out on business a few times there.
So when we last spoke she wanted to come round last Monday, I said no because during the summer hols my son stays with my folks (about 15 miles away) because I wouldnt get 6 weeks annual leave in the summer etc. Plus there is no one covering East, South East and South West of England except for me. Everyones on leave/courses/training etc so I'm managing half of bloody England pretty much by myself. But I dont mind, its cool.
She was a bit 'ooohhhh' I said we've done it this way for 10 years, and that I have a mobile on contract that I gave to my lad so he can call me 20 times a day (which he does lol) and it doesnt cost him or granny.
I told her they are 20 minutes drive away and I stay with him every w/e, so its not as if I dont see him all summer.
I said to her I was away next week working in Germany, and the day after I get back Im taking my laddo to Venice for 2 weeks. Yeah he sounds well abused doesnt he!
I am really cross I have to say. (At my neighbours).
And so she'll have to wait till September till he's back at school before she can go poking in the fridge and checking him for bruises lol
With your 2nd paragraph, am I right in understanding the call cannot be made anonmously? Because although I know its that **** Marianne across the road, I would love to have it confirmed then I would report her.
edit/oi Leo, who are you calling a stupid mother?? | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 8/13/2008 3:46:58 PM | | Like Lisa, I too am a qualified social worker, but not with child protection (Although I am trained to be) Yes it can be anonomous but not too much weight is put on that due to the fact that it could just be someone with a grudge against you. It is more than likely that Children's Services do have the name of the reporter but will not be able to reveal that info to you. | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 8/13/2008 3:51:09 PM | Hi Edensangel
Isnt that wrong though? Because when she comes round and see's she's wasting both our times, surely then I am entitled to make a complaint against the malicious witch across the road?
I think what I might do is take legal advice to have the name (if known) made known to me. Its worth at least finding out about. Or if they refuse that, then can I insist that a report is made against the reporter legally to the authorites?
If not, theres nothing stopping me phoning up and sending people round on a witch hunt to everyone in the street? And I can do it in the safe knowledge that I could get away with it.
Its all madness. | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 8/13/2008 4:00:45 PM | They wont be able to give you the details of the reporter, in case of retaliation from you (not that i'm saying you would do that)
I don't know your cercs but the woman has obviously wrongly thought that you was leaving them alone. It appears that her curtain twitching only noticed you leaving the house and didn't look hard enough to see your mother arriving before you left. The problem with nosey neighbours is that they only see what they want to see and imagine the rest in their head.
Due to the fact that they have not been out to see you yet is a good sign that they are not taking this report too seriously they would have been out straight away if they thought otherwise (not that its any comfort to you) as a parent too I would also be anxious to get this cleared up asap. | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 8/13/2008 4:06:03 PM | She knows damn well I dont leave him alone, she talks to my mum, well only to say 'hello dear'.
So really she knows she is lying, and its for no reason other than to piss me off, cause me hassle and fuel her gossiping tongue with the other women inthe street.
But yes I understand what you are saying.
Would SS take action against her though? | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 8/13/2008 4:09:14 PM | | If this is this first instance of her making false reports then no they wont, but if she continues to do so then no time will be wasted on responding to her. I ahve to say that I have not heard of Children's Services taking any kind of formal action against repeat reporters. | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 8/13/2008 4:26:43 PM | social services removed my children from their mothers care, and handed them to me, on an emergency, interim basis, over 18 months ago, I now have full residence, and the kids are doing great, both at home and school, but i do have to say that it was'nt done lightly, or without reason, ss workers were involved with the mother in a support role for over12 months, and although I could see that the environment was'nt safe for them, I felt that no-one was listening, but a change of case worker saw all that change, and she removed them from the home, and I had to appear in court myself for the various interim orders to be put into place, whilst a section 37 report was prepared.
Fair enough, you may think, the man got the kids, everyones happy, but when the report finally appeared, I could not believe what some of the childrens team had witnesed and yet still left the kids in her care, it reads lika a horror story and I do think that things should have been done sooner, and before anyone thinks I'm being selfish, its not about the time I spent without them, that happens in all marraige breakdowns, its about the time its taking to mend the kids, that could have been reduced substantially by swifter action, so the shoe can fit on both feet, amd maybe my story will help outline the difficulty of the decisions that these people have to take, sometimes theyre damned if they do, damned if they dont! | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 8/15/2008 12:47:53 PM | FAITHFEV -
Thanks you for your comments and I will definately be taking that on board. Its very hard because I feel bullied and that if I dont do what she wants she will report me to social service even though there are no grounds.
My daughter goes to nursery 3 days a week, I dont work yet but i thought as she is 2 and a half she needs to be with other children to develop her social skills. My father is a microbiologist and a specialist in the genital area (urine tests that kind of stuff), and my mother is a haemotologist (blood), both work in the private sector so I have access to private medical care.
A few weeks ago I mentioned to my HV that my daughter likes playing with her genitals (as I think all children do at her age) and she wanted me to take her to the GP for a urine test to make sure she didnt ahve an infection. Now I know full well what the symptoms are (itching, stinging, burning, stomach pain, temperature, and redness) none of which she had. So I went to see a doctor in harley street and he agreed with me. So no test was done.
When I told my HV she was angry that I hadnt gone to the GP despite me seekin alternitive medical care. Had a test been done and abnormal results had come back I would have taken the results to my GP for the appropriate prescription as I would want it recorded on her NHS medical records. I told my health visitor that my dad ran all my blood and urine tests when I was pregnant with my daughter and as he is a well known figure in his field I cant see why this would be an issue for her. I am very conscious about her mental development (im a psychology student hoping to go into the field of child psychology) and this has also been made clear to her as well. While I was on holiday she called my housing worker and asked my whereabouts because I hadnt attended clinic...and then took it upon herself to book my daughter and appointment with my GP when we got back because my daughter had a cold! I am not a panicky parent in terms of a cold etc so I was not concerned...I could understand her actions if I was not ensuring my daughters medical care...but she has no reason to think that...She treats me like a 16 year old school leaver who has a child and knows nothing about medicine...My parents ensured I know all the symptoms for almost all illnesses that could affect my daughter from menigitus to mumps its infuriating...I have written to her supervisor to ensure my points are on record before I part company with her. I also start work in 2 weeks and she wants to arrange a clinic day for me...I have no concerns about my daughters mental or physical development and no concerns have ever been raised...I feel as bullied and that I am doing something wrong as a mother for her to treat me like this...bloody b1tch LOL | |
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| Social Services - Abuse of Power?
Posted: 8/15/2008 1:21:14 PM | I stopped seeing my HV cos the one I had from pregnancy and for the 1st 18 months or so was wonderful but then the HV team had a reorg and I got landed with the team muppet!
She didn't do anything wrong I just plumb couldn't take to the poor woman so more my fault/issue than hers. Sometimes peeps just don't "gel". Like I said it's an optional service not mandatory so if you don't feel comfy with being able to ask advice if there is a genuine problem what's the point?
I couldn't have a GP or Dentist I wasn't keen on either. I admit I'm a bit funny that way  Nosing in my business without invitation would mean I'd get rid in a flash. Get your Dad to give her a ring and ask why she thinks she's qualified to question his professional advice then leave it alone as life is too short to humor power mongers. | |
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