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| Domestic Violence
Posted: 4/13/2008 8:28:18 AM | Laws have changed. the police have changed.
As to why they stay?
Imagine being so beaten down emotionally, psychologically & physically - having it drummed into you on a daily basis that you're ugly, fat, (even if you're skeletal), a bad mother/father, A bad housekeeper and crap cook, crap at washing, ironing.no one likes you not even your family, you'll be killed if you leave, you'll be hunted down and will forever have to look over your shoulder,your kids will be taken away, you'll have your kids killed in front of you, or... you'll be killed in front of them..being totally isolated and not allowed to see family or have friends.
and i think you'll have the answer as to why some DO stay WAY too long.
Coupled with this.......
no-one likes to admit they made a mistake do they?.. they fell in love.
and they so-so hope that sooner or later the abuser will realise what they are doing and apologise and it will all be ok. (pipe dream - rarely happens).
Then of course there is stockholme syndrome.
where you become so used to being treated badly that it becomes "your normal", you would feel lost without it, even though each slap,punch,kick,broken bone, emotional pain almost feels like it will kill you.
Laws have changed, and i'm pleased to say still changing.
ringing the police, yes, but don't get personally involved, it is both dangerous for the person being abused AND you! the person trying to help.
My ex physically abused me in public once and it was so bad a man stopped in his car, jumped out and offered to help.
This meant that as well as having my ex to deal with at that moment. the follow up was that i must have known the man, probably having an affair with him (he was a complete stranger), and gave rise to further far harsher beatings. | |
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| Domestic Violence
Posted: 4/13/2008 8:45:03 AM | Given that 1 in 4 women experience DV at some point in their lives (Government statistics) its not suprising that given the number of people posting to this forum that proportionately, some will be perpertrators of violence, some victims and some survivors.
There are some posts on here whose attitudes are a big warning!! Enough said on that one I think!
Abuse in any form physical, emotional, financial, sexual or otherwise is unacceptable, .there are no excuses, there is no justification. Any attempt to do this is a pathetic, and not entirely unexpected, attempt to justify or excuse violence by those who perpetrate.
Anyone else would know better than to even try to justify DV!
If you beleive someones safety is at risk, whoever it is, and whatever the circumstances, I think we have a moral and social duty to alert the Police.
Women statistically suffer an average of 34 incidents of violence before asking for help (Womens Aid statistics), its a huge step when you 're isolated and beleive everything you know and love is about to fall apart around you.
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| Domestic Violence
Posted: 4/13/2008 12:13:49 PM | Always call the Police...My god if it sounds that bad get involved. At the end of the day you can be anonymous anyway........Domestic Violence is a crime and shouldn't be brushed under the carpet.............
I had to go up to my neighbour one night......Thankfully when I knocked on the door the shouting,ranting etc etc had stopped.....I did however take a good step back and have my phone ready to dial 999......My neighbour thanked me for my concern. Everyone happy.....It did sound terrible from where I was.
But please make sure you take a step back first of all, assess the situation. make sure you will not be in danger and then decide to approach or call for help.
BE WARNED - Often people in the throws of a domestic will turn on you. YES even the aggrieved party! | |
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| Domestic Violence
Posted: 4/13/2008 3:01:32 PM | The changing attitude and time means that DV is against the law and there are child protection procedure in place. At the end of the day, a child living within a DV situation is at risk of hearing the shouting and abuse, seeing the shouting and abuse and sadly likely to get caught up by being shouted at and as seen in one of the post at the recieving end of the angry party's abuse. When a person is in rage, s/he does not realise what is happening coz they are so raged until they have calmed down and seen the damage.
I once read about a man who picked up the family puppy and threw it again the wall, the puppy was not treated and died from his injuries - what if that was his baby, who was screaming in the next room after being woken up by his parents arguing.
I have seen and been involved in DV situation and hell yeah, I would not hesitate to pick up the phone ESP IF THERE ARE KIDS INVOLVED. Like many of the posts states, people can remain annonymous when making the phone call and the police will not and are not allowed to disclose the callers details. | |
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