| So you talk to him for a month straight then POOF!!
Posted: 10/22/2007 7:56:24 AM | Glad to know I'm not the only one. My friend seems to meet the right people on dating sites, but I keep meeting girls and hitting it off, then all of a sudden they're gone or as soon as I ask them for their number or a date they vanish. They say over 60% of people on internet dating sites are already in relationships. I think that's what I keep running into. I'm trying to stick to the formula. But even then you can get disappointed. I started chatting with someone, got their phone number within a couple of days. Spoke on the phone 2 - 3 times and hit it off big time. Had a committment to go out. I had to cancel because something came up and felt awful about it, we both ended up laughing because something came up with her too and she felt terrible. Then I try and call and *POOF* phone number is disconnected and she closes her account. Two weeks later she's back on. Whatever happened I think it was in my best interest.  | |
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| So you talk to him for a month straight then POOF!!
Posted: 10/22/2007 9:34:58 PM | yeah i hate when that kind of thing happens! It's amazing how cold people can be on the net to be honest. I don't think I've ever had it happen QUITE like that - after a really long chat - but I've had people I seem to be getting on really well with just disappear for no reason. Why can't they just tell the person why they're doing it?
To be honest, if it happens and it's evident the person is doing it intentionally, it's probably best to get some distance and slowly break away. It can't have been meant to be =)
One thing that really got to me today is people who don't even reply when you send them a hello message (they just read it, or read and delete)! Am I the only one who thinks that's really rude? =S | |
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| So you talk to him for a month straight then POOF!!
Posted: 10/22/2007 9:48:25 PM | That happens alot, it's happened to me many times. You've been chattting and feeling a strong connection, then - POOF- they're gone.
Vanished, without a word.
They've met someone they're very into, they're seeing someone, they're mind's elsewhere.
You were an interesting diversion, an amusement for the moment, nothing more.
That's got to the definition of " online" dating- sometimes it never progresses past online. | |
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| So you talk to him for a month straight then POOF!!
Posted: 10/22/2007 10:39:30 PM | Seperated people have just as much a right to date anyone as single or divorced people just so you know....theres nothing foul about it.
I hate it when people just dissapear with no reason what so ever especially when you cant even see it coming. They dont answer the phone, they dont answer the door and they were so happy with you right up to the end. They are cowards and they got whatever they wanted out of you. Some peoples characters really shine through in the end....screw em! | |
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| So you talk to him for a month straight then POOF!!
Posted: 10/23/2007 3:03:08 AM | | It's the same with both sexes. They see warning signals. Anyone can put on a happy front for a couple of weeks or so behind a computer, but if they're not a genuinely happy and pulled together person, chances are, they will give themselves away with something. I think internet dating makes you rely much more on your senses, and they become heightened to signs of danger. If you meet someone in the flesh, you are much more likely to be temporarilly blinded by attraction, but talking to them on the internet is different, you have only what they say, or how they react to a situation to go by, and you get to notice odd behaviour much more quickly. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with your life, but somewhere allong the line you probably gave him this impression. | |
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| So you talk to him for a month straight then POOF!!
Posted: 10/23/2007 6:26:17 AM | | That is a typical experience on POF and other dating sites. It could because of many reasons that had nothing to with you. Maybe the person was looking to cheat. Maybe the person wasn't serious about getting into a relationship or the person was afraid of getting into a relationship because of some bad experiences in the past. Maybe the person was talking to several people at the same time and liked one of them better. This applies to both sexes. | |
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| So you talk to him for a month straight then POOF!!
Posted: 9/30/2008 6:15:15 PM | Can I Just say guys who have replied Your right but show a lil more tack. Its true what they say about men and women. We are different, we think different, feel different, and are yet both capable of hurting the other sex. In this case yes he has left, pointing out the obvious is not something she needs to hear, I Have been through similar myself except I was dating the guy, then we went from 30 calls and text to nothing. My advice to you is as previous people have said it happens both men and women do it but its not right and its sad when it does happen especially when you get attached. Dont take it so personal at this whhat is such an early stage even though you have gotten to know each other for a month hold your heart back, keep it safe, dont expect for it is meant to be it will happen. I know it hurts cause this guy in my case was to me at the time perfect, but like the sites called plenty of fish. So to sum it up, until you are meeting face to face then let go a lil, emails are just words hon... Good luck  | |
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| So you talk to him for a month straight then POOF!!
Posted: 10/1/2008 2:19:46 PM | I had this happen recently,but considering this is the internet it's not at all surprising.
For all the reasons stated by previous posters.....men and women are just as guilty of vanishing with out so much as an explanation or goodbye.
I don't feel I am "owed" an explanation,since we never met IRL,but it would have been common courtesy to have emailed ,"not interested" or I've moved on. When he didn't return my phone call after 4 days,well I had the answer loud and clear.
I guess I was more surprised more than anything since he "seemed" like a nice guy after 4 weeks of emailing,phone conversation. i was on vacation for a week and he travels for a living so that was the reason it got to be so long and drawn out.
I am heeding the advice on here and giving it the one week rule. if we can't meet up within 7-10 days,it ain't gonna happen, on to the next fish. | |
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TrinB
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Joined: 4/27/2008
Msg: 85 | |
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| So you talk to him for a month straight then POOF!!
Posted: 10/1/2008 3:15:42 PM | | currently as I type this there are 80987 chatters online depending on what way you look at it, slim pickings or the pickings are slim,,,,, it is all about discovery as it is in real life,, we meet people in real life and we are smitten but as disclosure presents it's ugly face we discover we are not quite as smitten as we once thought we were, keep your mutual dreams out of it util "full disclosure" has been esposed ad if you THEN still feel "smitten" THEN you share goals and dreams together! I dont share my goals and dreams with my local cashier why would I with someone I really dont know!! | |
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| So you talk to him for a month straight then POOF!!
Posted: 10/1/2008 3:36:11 PM | Men & women are guilty of this! Emailing is just that!
After you've been on any dating site for a while, when a person just disappears or stops reading your emails..... don't get too upset....move on :) Naturally, if you've already met this other person, it may sting a bit (the rejection). But, being able to handle the rejection is all a part of the "fun" !
Now, everyone, go ahead....delete my emails, block me, I don't care....
There'll be other people for me to stalk :) | |
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| So you talk to him for a month straight then POOF!!
Posted: 10/1/2008 9:48:58 PM | wow...THANKS everyone!! I had my first experience with a disappearing act. It does sting because I did meet the person. But after reading so many of these threads it let me know that it's common. Guess I just needed validation of the disappearance to accept it. Didn't get it from him but Definitely got it here. It's just ashame that those that do the disappearing act don't just own up an be honest. I'd rather hear their not interested or what ever their reason is for not contacting me for closure. But I guess there are those that can't be as blunt as Iam.
Thanks Again!! Back to the
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| So you talk to him for a month straight then POOF!!
Posted: 10/1/2008 10:10:03 PM | All of the above reasons, & you can add "computer died"
Im still amazed at the number of people that dont seem to realise that they're not the only fish in this pond.. Things (& people) move faster on the internet than in "real" life | |
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| So you talk to him for a month straight then POOF!!
Posted: 10/1/2008 10:35:01 PM | | Change the way you handle online dating. Meet him right away. No kicking around with developing fantasy thoughts when you haven't met eye to eye. Physical is huge in the dating process. It cuts to the chase. | |
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| So you talk to him for a month straight then POOF!!
Posted: 10/1/2008 10:44:21 PM | "IT HAS HAPPENED TO ME TOO.WE HAVE TALK FOR HOURS ON THE PHONE EVERY NIGHT."
Maybe he didn't like you yelling at him. (All caps = yelling.)
Women do the same kinds of things. All nice and wonderful and then out of the blue, BLAM!! All of a sudden gone, her mind is made up an do NOT try to confuse the issue with reason.
Welcome to anonymous introductions.
Develop a thick shield, keep it up and, as in any other crap shoot, don't risk anything you aren't willing to lose.
Damn right I'm bitter. | |
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| So you talk to him for a month straight then POOF!!
Posted: 10/1/2008 10:57:35 PM | Unfortunately this medium gives people the feeling that since they can remain anonymous, they have the social licence to be rude, and insensitive to other people's feelings. It's the nature of human behaviour. This site is a candy store. Take only what you want, and throw the rest away. It's too bad. If you met these people in person, they would never do what they do behind their computer screen. I'm sorry it happened to you. It has happened to many of us.
Don't read too much into it. It's simple. He found somene he liked better and pursued that person. Candy store, remember??? There is always something better around the corner....or so he thinks. | |
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| So you talk to him for a month straight then POOF!!
Posted: 11/15/2008 8:37:04 AM | | Ive experienced the worst manners ,I dont understand why men think they can dish out as much bs as they can create , there should be a name and shame list so us girls can check it first , some men and women get off on this stuff mentally they arnt right, good people get sucked in all the time cos we are good people , Ive emailed for a month made a date talked until 30mins before the meet they take off , Ive been to dinner its gone well and the next day Im abused called names and there isnt a thing I can do , the list of bad experiences goes on , personally im really over the whole scene, the internet is not a good place to meet people , casual sex seems the bottom line and you take the crap that goes with that , IT STINKS | |
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