| Is life really what you make it
Posted: 8/17/2008 9:05:29 AM | apologies for resurecting an oldie but this is bugging me.
I find it funny that the times I have heard the expression, Life is what you make it, its come from a man! I'm certainly not being sexist, however I feel its easier for a man after a relationship breakdown to make something of his life.
Most women are left to bring up their children, allowing the man the freedom to persue whatever they want to do!
My ex up sticks and lives 300 miles away. He sees his kids occassionally. He is able to retrain, start a new career, throw himself into work, and earn a mint.
I know my time will come when my kids are less dependent on me, to persue what I want to do, however its bloody hard, working to live, and juggling kids and house and being knackered all the time!!!
Life is what you make it, if you have no responsibilites. Yes we all have choices but...... circumstances change things, single parent, minimum wage, help from the government is great however if I work more, I loose my tax credits, so sometimes it feels like a vicious circle.
I didnt choose to become a single parent!! We both chose to have the kids, he chose to leave. My life is certainly not what I have chosen it to become, and circumstances at the moment do not allow me to change it!
there now Ill get off my soap box | |
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| Is life really what you make it
Posted: 8/17/2008 9:15:16 AM |
Or do we just plod along regardless?
I like plodding along,im happy to just potter about in my own little world,little pressure,limited stress,makes for a happy contended little family | |
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| Is life really what you make it
Posted: 8/17/2008 9:52:42 AM | Life is indeed.. how you make it
Opportunities wont come to you.
Opportunities wont wait for you to come and take them.
Plenty women outthere are in the same position like you are now, but... you must get up get yourself together.. get a grip.. and go outthere grab one of those opportunites..
TAKE THEM ON WITH BOTH HANDS!!
Sitting at home feeling sorry.. aint gonna change your world..
Be positive! go outhere take on one of those opportunities girl!
Be brave!! Be strong!!
and Good Luck!
Bloody hell! She talks sense that girl..  | |
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| Is life really what you make it
Posted: 8/17/2008 2:33:21 PM | | I do believe life is what you make it. We may not be able to change the negative external influences in our lives but we CAN change our perceptions towards them. OP, you say you're "just" an employee and a mother but an infertile women would say you're incredibly lucky to have children and a job. I feel I'm a wealthy and incredibly fortunate woman -- I'm alive, healthy, have beautiful healthy children, plenty of food, a place to live, people who love me, education, rights, comf0rts and independence. I sometimes struggle to make ends meet on a single income in THIS society, but I have everything I need to survive, which is more than many poor souls get in other parts of the world. This is the "life" I've chosen to make, and I'm incredibly grateful for it. | |
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| Is life really what you make it
Posted: 8/17/2008 2:37:32 PM | Yes it is just what you will make of it.
you have to find your path and follow it with all of your heart.
because if you don't you just end up full of whys.
also this is why I believe in marriage rather than partnerships, in the sense that there should be more responsibility when you have created a family & less of this moving on and walking away like it is now when things get tough. | |
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| Is life really what you make it
Posted: 8/17/2008 2:39:38 PM | Yes and No
For example I have a regular job. My mate has a good jobs and makes shit loads. Hes no brainier than me, and works no harder than me.
He got the job as he knew someone there.
I think its hard work, but also abit of luck (right place right time)
I do think you have to get out there and have a good time, in that respect it is "what you make it"
But other things, sometimes i think are not within your power | |
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| Is life really what you make it
Posted: 8/17/2008 2:42:30 PM | | It is true what you say.l remember my old gran telling me,whilst i was going through a bad patch with my Ex,that hope was just around the corner. She didn't know how right she was when i happened to go for a walk to clear my head and found my girlfriend 'Hope' sucking off a black man round the next junction. | |
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| Is life really what you make it
Posted: 8/17/2008 2:50:18 PM | life is what you make it its your job to make it what it is noone else,s
alot of mums are in the same boat as you | |
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| Is life really what you make it
Posted: 8/17/2008 3:00:35 PM |
Is life really what you make it
Of course it is sister!!!
Only you have a say what happens in your life....not your kids!
Make things happen for them....take them to the nearest fielf ffs and have a game of rounders.....i agree with the other posters....you dont need a lot of money to make life fun!
Im forever runnin after my girls in our local swing park.....i take them there every day on the way home from school....and seriously....we've even done it in the rain....but that was a lesson to not get ma soaked again but they pass no remarks!!!
Theres no need to have money to have a good time....ive got eff all...just enough to get by....but i try to make the most of it...cinema once a fortnight....iceskating once a week...and swimming once a week....it really isnt that expensive.....well put it this way.....a night out would cover it....so which would rather??? | |
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| Is life really what you make it
Posted: 8/17/2008 4:17:20 PM | life really IS what you make it. I have never known the true meaning of those words until this week.. whether male or female.. who cares... I have had the best days of my life this last week than the last 39 yrs. Ok, my own personal reasons may make me feel that , but im glad they have .. otherwise id be on here day in day out cbeebies whatever instead of doing the fun things which id forgotton about. Sometimes even the bad things make you appreciate the fun things and get more from life  My life is what im making it and if im not happy with it, i only have myself to blame.
VV uking 'ell do you know how hard it is to get into probation these days too eh ;0 SO GOOD ON YOU !! yOUVE DONE URSELF PROUD ! | |
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| Is life really what you make it
Posted: 8/17/2008 4:27:57 PM | After divorce, and thousands of pounds and a couple years of legal wrangling, and not having much life in between, I finally regained contact with my children, even getting one of them to live with me.
It wasn't my choice, she decided to be unfaithful then throw me out. In retrospect I wish I'd thrown her out but c'est la vie.
I worked all the hours I could, I still have a paynote for 101 hours one week. Then I took lodgers in, then I struggled like mad to get through Uni, then I made a better life for me, my eldest daughter, and my other 2 kids who still lived with their Mum but stayed at mine minimum 3 nights a week.
I never dated for 7 years, not so much as a kiss. I hardly ever went out and when I did I had a 2 beer limit. I smoked the thinnest rollies you can make and ate as little as possible. I had a crap car and kept it on the road myself. My social life was almost non-existent.
I struggled my @rse off but I got there. Left Uni and got my first post as a probation officer, after 3 years of bleeding hard work, no money, bringing kid/s up etc.
Yes it's bloody hard, but it is what you make it and I have the best lifestyle now in return for the sacrifices then.
With respect ... stop whinging, crack on and make something of it. | |
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| Is life really what you make it
Posted: 8/17/2008 8:04:25 PM | Well...I was declared insane like about a million years ago but you know what I did...I decided to reinvent myself and become something I am not - I am now an infamous super brain who scares the living daylights out of people with my incredible, awesome intellect - I wouldn't mind but I just woke up one morning and decided that is what I will be and lots of people believed me - it was scarily easy..I am still on tenterhooks waiting to be discovered for the fake that I am.
I would have made myself the sexiest woman on earth but I just couldn't - I have principles and am a bit self-effacing as it happens and painfully aware of getting on a bit in years...and besides I've seen me in the mirror in broad daylight.
Next time I re-invent me I am going to be the victim - I am going to be such a sad soppy idiot and everybody will feel terribly sorry for me and want to love me because being nasty and caustic is not working out too well for me at the mo. | |
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| Is life really what you make it
Posted: 8/18/2008 3:34:57 AM |
I'm pretty bored of being "just a mum and an employee
I think life is what you make it !
And I also think everyone is able to take their own life in their own hands if they focus enough.
Unfortunately the current social structure in which we live is not very kind to social life.. so you have to push much harder, especially if you are a type which loves socialising.
Sometimes we realise that our current social circle is not enough, we need to broaden our circle to make a necessary change and I certainly would like to get to know better some people from different scales and with different perspectives and see how their life feels there where they stand..
This also helps you to see behind your own horizon. | |
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