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wh33t
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Joined: 7/10/2005
Msg: 51 | |
| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 7/20/2005 12:46:21 PM | No Baggage to me means no harsh emotional issues, vengeful thoughts of past boyfriends, hidden jealousy etc... When I refer to baggage I refer to anything that can make a person not content with themselves and life.
When I say No Children... thats when I mean no Children. | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 52 | |
| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 7/20/2005 12:47:08 PM | to me that means no serious psychological issues/hangups. I.e. she loves herself and is ready to love others.
It has NOTHING to do with children or ex husbands etc... | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 7/20/2005 12:50:57 PM | lippy I SOOO totally agree, referring to children as baggage and don't mess your nails up, knee to groin works good. I do feel like smacking someone upside the head when I hear that, and I'm such a gentle soul..I guess that's a hot button for me.
OT Baggage usually means whatever emotional wreckage from a previous marriage that you haven't dealt with yet that is still lingering and causing you to ruin future relationships because of it. | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 7/20/2005 2:03:44 PM | How to remove baggage permenately.
Put the container (head, heart, samsonite, whatever) that holds the baggage into a blender
Add to that
two ounces of tequila
one ounce of triple sec
Margaritaville Margarita mix
scoop of ice
Blend until mixed thoroughly and there's no more ice cubes
Pour into glass, sit back at sunset, and enjoy!
Or go on a flight of your choice. They can lose your baggage faster than a mule in a horse race. | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 7/20/2005 2:21:19 PM | | Baggage to me means having made bad choices in relationships and finances over and over to the point that they're still affecting you. Being in constant conflict with the ex so that I have to hear or deal with the anger often. Trust, anger, blame, self esteem issues stemming from past relationships that will overshadow future ones. Upsetting legal matters from an ongoing divorce. Not having resolved conflicts/feelings/anger/need about past relationships and therefore not being able to engage in a new one without...well, baggage attached! | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 7/20/2005 4:14:58 PM | well i've got no cloue as what no baggage is as there is no ppl out there who have non and if thay do than thay are full of shit as we all have some. its a bit of everything kids past life with athers and it just makes as who we are so we all need to have some and this is from a mans point of view
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 57 | |
| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 7/20/2005 4:32:51 PM | Trust me, if you're over 21, you have baggage. Baggage is a result of life's experiences (careers, relationships, money, children, health issues, etc). It is how one deals with their baggage is the most important thing. Some folks baggage is about the size of "carry on", others have a warehouse full.
Anyone out there that says they don't have baggage is full of crap, and I'd say run like hell! | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 7/20/2005 4:36:34 PM | | No Baggage is a term made up by all the ignorant people out there who arent blessed enough to know the love of children.... | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 7/20/2005 4:59:53 PM | I have to laugh at all these "knee jerk' reactions - ...."they have baggage, run for the hills!, the sky is falling", "burn the witches", "lepers, banish them" .... One has to ask though, why are we so quick to dismiss someone else based on one perceiving they have too much baggage, when we ourselves, as admitted by a lot of prior posters, also bring the same into a new relationship. I bet a couple of Twinkies that a lot of potentially fine relationships haven't been given the proper chance based on such notions.
Consider this, sometimes "baggage" isn't all that bad - it's knowing how to make it work for us rather than against us - whadya' think?
I think we all have some preconceived notion of what we find .... umm.. "attractive" (beyond the physical of course) based on where someone is emotionally at the present time. For the one's that actually read profiles, we can make a snap judgment as to where they're at emotionally based on how bitter, or not, they come off sounding, hence making one more or less attractive. I know I've done it recently, I saw a local profile quite recently, very attractive woman, but her profile was just one angry bitter all caps rant - consequently I lost the attraction immediately. So what in fact made her less attractive to me, were some possibly past horrendous experiences - hence, one definition of attraction can be said as being one's set of past experiences.
As many of you have also stated, what is baggage? but just a set of life "experiences", to which I'd add, in another disguise?
So, the baggage we lug about from one relationship to another doesn't have to be that all encompassing ball of negativity we feed on. Try viewing a potential partner, if not ourselves, not as damaged goods, but as a venue to allow us to have a better understanding of each other, because after all, isn't self-awareness of each other one of the cornerstones of any good relationship?.
Ok, I'm not advocating we go out and marry someone who has a greater than 50% controlling stake in the Sampsonite Corporation, but just ease up on these snap judgments of excessive baggage and run for the hills!
lecture over, go back to your couches and TV dinners ;) | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 7/20/2005 6:33:18 PM | Good post trapped.
It seems we all have different definitions of what "baggage" means.
I don't get how anyone can call "experiences" baggage.
"Baggage" by definition and use of the word would seem to me to be something that a person would lug around with them. You don't, well at least I don't, lug around experiences. Thats something I like having. I learn from experiences. I love most all experiences, not real happy about some, but happy I learned from all of them. I don't learn from baggage except that you never need as much as you thought and it's friggin heavy. Maybe you should have burned the suitcase and got a backpack.
Well, I for one can honestly say I don't lug around much of not a thing. If you choose to say I'm not sincere then go ahead. But I don't have much of anything I worry about. I do contimplate at times about selling the house or just renting it out for a bigger boat. But that's not baggage, that's me being me. Other than that, hmmmm, I need to put dishes from the sink to the dishwasher. Yup, thats about it. | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 7/20/2005 7:35:58 PM | jesus Evan, the dishes, the boat, if I were a woman, I'd run for dem' dar' hills lickity split .... lol.... ok, all kiddin' asside ... perhaps I should have been more specific and qualified these life experiences as being negative experiences. Events that carry with them fears, anxieties and other unresolved problems from the past. Parental breakups, physical abuse, controlling partners, abusive partners, financial havoc, just to cite a few experiences that come to mind, all events that can produce re-occurring triggers that can negatively affect how we interact with a present day partner.
If both of you truly enter into a relationship being aware of these events and you each learn from each other's past, then perhaps you both stand a chance at letting go of this baggage .....
I entered into such a relationship knowing full well the consequences or the success likely hood given the person's past and present experiences. I gave it my all and more for close to 3 years and I learned a lot in the process, for which i'm thankful - obviously it didn't work but not because of my walking. Was it a waste of time? many friends said yes, I still think it was a life learning experience. | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 9/27/2005 8:31:24 AM | All:
Well, I just discovered that based on how some people define 'baggage', I have it. This is one of those "Humpty Dumpty" words that means any gawddamn thing the speaker wants it to and doesn't feel required to spell it out, or hasn't the verbal/writing skills to do so, and therefore hides behind it. Vague and trite applies to the word, and to the people who use it.
I have a daughter who just turned 20 years old, and who is the light of my life. She is about the best thing I have done in my life. Of course, whether people or other accomplishments, there is easily more to come. But for someone to expect me to put aside my responsibilities to my child (or the same expectation applied to anyone and their child) is more selfish, more narcissistic, than I can I possibly imagine or put into words. Living, breathing, loving, growing, infinitely rewarding offspring are not a shopping bag, or cosmetic case, or duffel bag, or even a fancy effete overpriced designer garment bag, they are people.
So, TO USE THAT TRITE, VACUOUS DEFINITION, I HAVE 'BAGGAGE'. I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A PORTER FOR THAT 'BAGGAGE', BUT AN EQUAL PARTNER FOR OTHER LIFE ACTIVITIES. I have 'baggage' which I'll be carrying everywhere I travel. To the almost-equally-middle aged person who rejects relationships out of hand for that self-centered reason alone, check your stinking narcissism at the gate.
To all people who have children, of any age, and who are looking for special companionship to last, you hope, for the rest of your life, hold on to your children as if there was a flood coming. You'll never regret it. Never. Nothing in this life can replace the feeling, the sheer joy, of seeing your child grow and helping them along the way. You can have children and special companionship, but never at the risk of diminishing your connection with your children.
David | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 9/27/2005 10:39:35 AM | In part I agree with David, "Well, I just discovered that based on how some people define 'baggage', I have it. This is one of those "Humpty Dumpty" words that means any gawddamn thing the speaker wants it to and doesn't feel required to spell it out, or hasn't the verbal/writing skills to do so, and therefore hides behind it. Vague and trite applies to the word, and to the people who use it."
Since this seems to be the case why can't people spell out maturely what they mean by no baggage? Unless they want someone confused and wondering just what their definition is? | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 9/27/2005 10:59:52 AM | Baggage is simply life experience and if it's not wanted then they need to go to woman/man store and make a purchase there!
As for considering my children as "baggage" they can just move on down the road. | |
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c7t1
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Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 65 | |
| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 9/27/2005 11:41:50 AM | | I think we all have baggage it how we choose to carry it that matters. I for one do not care to hear time after time how somebody did somebody wrong. (Hey that sounds like an old song) Further I have a son 26 and a daughter 23 and if any one should e foolish enough to call them baggage well; if the were a man they would be singing soprano and if a woman, we may need a surgeon. | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 9/27/2005 11:48:23 AM | I believe the term no bagbage refers to almost anything that is carry over from a previous relationship that maybe lead to conflict in the present one. Honestly, no one can describe children, smoking, or anything that is socially accepted among one group pr another as baggage.
I believe the term no baggage refers to almost anything emotional or mental that carries over from a previous relationship ( childhood, friends, work, school ) that maybe lead to conflict in the present one. Honestly, no one can describe children, smoking, or anything that is socially accepted among one peer group a part from another as baggage. ( This type of attitude is judge mental) Everyone has a right to life and choices! Just like dating..we choose who we date!
We also realize some choice are not as healthy or as good for a person as other choices..so this two may vary! Just pick the one that fit you best!
Example:
The fact cigarettes were once highly accepted among various types of social groups as a part of the norm and only in the last 20 years has some parts of society turn against it. ( This would be a lifestyle choice if anything! Since it is still accepted in some areas of society as common practices.)
Children can never be considered baggage unless your choice is to not have children and this may create conflict in your chosen and preferred lifestyle. Thus choose not to date a single parent LOL:)
The reality here is baggage is a term best fit to be used in the realism that if you harbor ill feelings, emotional insecurities, pre judge mental views brought on by someone else like family, friends, imitate relationships.....this in fact is what baggage is - the reality is: We are all human and as a result we are in perfect in an in prefect world... everyone has baggage of some sort and as a result we are all looking for that particular baggage that best fits us and allows us to live a life of fun, comfort ability, happiness and Particularly serenity... don’t be fooled by the term baggage..it really reflects our perception of life and who we choose to be with
Just be true to oneself and stay honest in what you want and the baggage will be little to carry. | |
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other
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Joined: 10/7/2004
Msg: 67 | |
| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 9/27/2005 11:55:23 AM | | I agree with you. I am a guy who has "baggage" and would rather accept a lady with baggage. Means we both have survived life. I suspect guys and girls who don't want "baggage" do not commit to making a relationship work because they are afraid. | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 9/27/2005 10:33:41 PM | Hey, all:
Good points all. Thanks for the response, Georgie. You sound like you are doing better. I hope so!
I was pissed and hurt when I wrote my last message (maybe people could tell!), because I learned that even after understanding I have a daughter, and even apparently being at ease with that fact, someone I was communicating with suddenly said, 'ooooh, I don't want that baggage'. So it is reassuring that you feel the same way I do, our children are not 'baggage' to be left on some claim cart in an airport. And that when someone expects that, they can stuff it.
I understand there can be many kinds of baggage, so it is even more important to spell it out, so there is no misunderstanding. It is such a trite, overused expression that it needs to be excised from the vocabulary. Family history, emotional issues, addictions, prejudicial views, criminal past, being a survivor of a crime, work, previous relationships, etc., are all personal burdens that can change the way someone responds to another, and can affect the relationship.
I personally think that so many people assume others understand what they mean, they have lost the ability to explain themselves, or they never learned. Or they wait until the last moment to blurt out a clumsy, thin explanation. Oh, well, life goes on.
Thanks for the feedback. Feeling MUCH better now.
David | |
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| Will you help me un-pack
Posted: 9/27/2005 11:22:10 PM | Now that I'm home, bathed, settled and fed,
All nicely tucked in my warm new bed,
I'd like to open my baggage,
Lest I forget,
There is so much to carry -
So much to regret.
Hmmm...Yes, there it is, right on the top,
Let's unpack Loneliness, Heartache and Loss,
And there by my perch hides Fear and Shame.
As I look on these things I tried so hard to leave -
I still have to unpack my baggage called Pain.
I loved them, the others, the ones who left me,
But I wasn't good enough - for they didn't want me.
Will you add to my baggage?
Will you help me unpack?
Or will you just look at my things -
And take me right back?
Do you have the time to help me unpack?
To put away my baggage, to never repack?
I pray that you do - I'm so tired you see,
But I do come with baggage -
Will you still want me?
~ Author Unknown ~- | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 8/29/2009 8:29:16 PM | As a person with no children or any of the other specific burdens described by various people here, I also have wondered what people who specify "no baggage" actually intend.
However, regardless of what they intend, by labelling someone else's past issues and experiences "baggage" without even knowing the person, I think they are revealing a lack of maturity, empathy, and discernment in themselves.
To me this terminology signals a person who will dodge and blame when it comes to the hard issues in this new relationship. They are probably not good candidates for offering mutual acceptance and support required for true intimacy.
So although I really have very little baggage of any kind, I would never follow up with anyone who specified "no baggage" in his profile. | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 8/29/2009 9:16:25 PM | Bottom line... We're ALL different and we ALL have some kind of issue… That’s just Life… Especially in these CRAZY times. However, some people can handle their issues... And some cannot.
Those that cannot handle what Life has been throwing at them in a positive and constructive manner... Are deemed to have "baggage" in my eyes.
And furthermore… People that can handle their crap tend to look forward, whereas people that are stuck seem to look back with some kind of resentment. | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 8/29/2009 10:16:09 PM | Am I in the wrong place ? I read bagpipes, then I wondered if someone was worried about having to carry too many bags around.
Would this mean that shopaholics with too many shoes would present a problem?
I guess that means that bag ladies are out?
Then I thought about bags under the eyes.
Even worse those baggy bulges that hang over some trouser belts - aaaghh screams and wuns awaze fast.
If old bags mean females what happens to males? Maybe they become 'baggage' when they amass in herds?
I try to live bag free, do boxes count? I have sooo many! | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 8/30/2009 3:43:53 AM | | I think they mean children. I know what I consider baggage is a man with a wife or girlfriend or many girlfriends. | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 8/30/2009 3:52:27 AM | Baggage to me is undealt with emotions. if you have unresolved issues, especially in the relationship arena, that's baggage.
now that i've resad a few other posts, mines kinda pointless and redundant. lol | |
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| What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 8/30/2009 7:28:09 AM | Baggage are of two nature: unsolved issues or problems and questions marks that have not yet found a complete answer.
As those issues or problems are not dealt with properly, they are carried with you until completion. The level of negativity of a baggage depend on the issue or problem itself.
For example, you have dealt with a situation and didn't applied the correct solution to it; yes it has been dealt with, but some remains as your conscience is telling you that you could have dealt with this far better.
On the other end: past situations where you are not sure of the reasons WHY or of the IF.
For example on this one: a past relationship where you ask yourself why it happen this way, what where the variables, influence or reasons; for example.
Some baggage have destructive effect and must be dealt with promptly and some simply need strenght of character to replace them in their correct perspective, answered and/or put to rest/voided.
Everyone has baggage of the unsolved issue or problem type; only narcissic people do not have baggage of the unsolved question mark type. | |
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