Ruby_
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Joined: 7/10/2004
Msg: 26 | |
| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/15/2004 5:29:05 PM | Manic Depression was what Bi-Polar disorder used to be called.
Manic is the high and people can do some bizzare things during this time. They feel like they are invincable and can take great risks and not feel the fear. They don't think of the concequences of their actions they just do what they feel is right for them at the moment.
The Depression can be a nagging cloud hanging over their head or so deep they take their own lives and, or the lives of others.
Bi-Polar defines the disorder better because patients swing back and forth from one to the other. It is called cycling and it can be in rythmn. So many days high so many days low. Over time the lows start to outway the highs.
If a person is mostly one or the other the disorder can be treated with success. There are people who can cycle between the two problems numerous times a day. This is when treatment is difficult to treat.
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Ruby_
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Joined: 7/10/2004
Msg: 27 | |
| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/15/2004 5:33:12 PM | *EDIT* This is when treatment is difficult to treat.
This is when the mood disorder becomes difficult to treat. | |
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| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/15/2004 5:40:21 PM | "Where do these "illnesses" come from? Did cavemen and women have bipolar disorders? Or eating disorders? I have noticed that these seem to occur only in societys like ours were people don't have to struggle daily for clean water, food, etc. Did Lucy (the first identfied fossilized human) have anorexia? Or tramatic stress disorder? They probably didn't have time for that, but they certainly faced very scary and difficult things on a daily basis. Are these just "western diseases" or "white man's illness"?"
Bipolar and other illnesses related to depression have probably been around since cavemen times, as they are caused by chemical imbalances in the brain so yes, depression and bi polar and other such illnesses were most likely around since the dawn of men. However, because psychology wasn't paid attention to until the 20th Century with Freud, they were seen as physical ailments or figments of the imagination...or during lots of periods in history they were viewed as the people affected being possessed by the devil and many times these people were put to death because of their sickness. The first psychological illness that was seriously studied was hysteria. Women (it was believed that only women could suffer from this disorder, hence the name hysteria) who've been thru a traumatic experience would sometimes develop strange symptoms such as paralysis on one side even when there was no physical explanation for the paralysis. I could go on but I'm sure everyone's eyes are beginning to droop with boredom.
Eating disorders are a little different. From the information I've gathered over the years (I have a pretty big interest and am hoping to work in the field after I recieve my Masters), Bulimia (binging and purging) has been reported since ancient Greece and anorexia has been reported since the 1800's. Modern eating disorders seem to be a social issue, especially amongst the white, female young adults and there's been a linkage between the socity's image of women from television, movies, magaizines ect. But, in order for a girl to suffer from an eating disorder they have to have other problems such as low self esteem or feeling helpless. Many many people that have eating disorders are very high achivers and want a sense of being perfect, but at the same time they are feeling that their life is going out of control so they turn to something that they can control which is the amount of food that they eat. The main reason for them may be to lose weight but underneath that it's a way for them to gain control.
Well, if anyone wants more information on stuff like that (especially eating disorders because I know the most) but I do have access to lots of stuff about mental illnesses and I'm always happy to share it. I'm not sure if I answered your question Velocity, but I gave it a try. | |
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Ruby_
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Joined: 7/10/2004
Msg: 29 | |
| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/15/2004 5:47:19 PM | Schizophrenia is now, "Multiple Personality Disorder"
It seems these days these are not diseases but "disorders". People get so stigmatized by mental problems. We are so fearful of being labled by anything that affects the mind.
Thanks princess...I enjoyed reading your post. I have an interest too and continue to learn when I can. | |
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| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/15/2004 6:19:08 PM | | Schizophrenia and MPD are still two different disorders. It's possible that Multiple Personality Disorder is a form of schizophrenia, but there are many forms of schizophrenia that has nothing to do with having different personalities. | |
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| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/15/2004 6:53:35 PM | It has been around much longer, but they would only diagnose it 8 years ago as bipolar. Go figure a bunch of stupid doctors couldnt get together and decide if it was different than manic depression, But it is. Most are bipolar and have a certain type of deppression on top of it. The problem today is some say it is the same thing, but it is not. They have to be treated with meds for different things. One med usually for the bipolar its self, then one for the manic deppresion then another just to control the mood swings or the rapid thought process. ITs really a pain for doctors and most dont give a damm enought to even do whats right.
Gado
Cant never Could, Wont never Will ! | |
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| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/15/2004 7:00:52 PM | | They no longer use the classification Manic Depression. Don't know the story behind it, but it's probably because Bi-Polar describes it better. | |
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Ruby_
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Joined: 7/10/2004
Msg: 33 | |
| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/16/2004 5:24:09 AM | D-Princess...I know the label Schizophrenia, was used by lay people as a person having different personalities at any given time. Especially during my younger days. Please excuse my use of MPD as a blanket for Schizo... This is your field of study so you certainly know much more than I on this subject.
Schizophrenia can cause a person to be extremely out of touch with reality. It is the hardest disorder to treat. They are saying the majority of homeless people have this problem. | |
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| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/16/2004 11:04:06 AM | The problem with the x wife is this, every person I know when treated for bipolar, and I know alot of them now lol, are on 2 to 3 meds to just control things. They put x on one med, and when I looked it up its for schizophrenia! she is manic not schizo, so guess you can blame everything on the doctor lol. so go figure there hehe.
Gado
Cant never Could, Wont never Will ! | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 35 | |
| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/16/2004 11:24:26 AM | im almsot convinced my ex suffers from depression of soem kind.
in the part 2 years he had 2 nervous breakdowns..and was suicidal. He simply did not care about life. When we broke up i went on meds because i was so upset my hair was falling out in clumps. I got over it..and did a complete 360 on my life and my attitude.
Life is fantastic for me now. But ii think of him and wish i could do soemthing. He refuses to go to councelling. All of us has tried..cried pushed and screamed about it. He has the shitty attidude..NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME CRAP going on...
my kids need a dady who is stable..happy..sure of himself and is a good role model. Hes a good perso n and daddy but for his emotional state..??? he sucks ass..
but you cant force..he needs to do it himself.
Im grateful my bf is in my life now.. my kids need a good male figure to look up to. Hes not thier daddy..he will never be that..but he can be their pal and love them..and my kids can have a male figure that has a good head o nhis shoulders...not a loser like daddy. | |
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| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/16/2004 6:45:53 PM | | Gado, I found out today that sometimes doctor's do perscribe medications that are primarily used for a whole different disorder, but can also have postive effects for another disorder...so her taking a schizophrenic medicine for her bi-polar actually isn't that uncommon...especially since the effects of the two disorders can be very similar. | |
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| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/18/2004 6:08:35 AM | Princess,
You seem to be very knowledgable about certain mental illnesses. I have had to learn the hard way. My mother is schizophrenic. She has suffered from the illness her entire adult life. In fact, so has everyone involved in her life. We have to care for a woman that does all these horrible things to us. It is difficult to seperate her personality while sick from her personality while stable. As a child, it was very confusing.
I know that medications such as Zyprexa are used to treat both schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder. I know this because my wife and my mother are taking the same medications. I guess Freud was right......men do marry their mothers. | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 38 | |
| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/18/2004 11:33:51 AM | holy cow broken...
how are you doing these days?? i have been wondering...
how do you see yourself going on>?? you must have a fear of re runs eh>> and a a bit of apprehention to ever fall for a woman again. The moment she has a hissy fit or a bad mood the warning bells will ring.
I still fear to this day.... a needy man..and a man with a temper. Whne my bf was working on my car he got so frustrasted he started yelling and he hit the car.
I automatically went back to a episode with my ex and all of a sudden my legs started to shake and i fled him and went into the house. I was so scared. Whne my ex was like that i got hit.
Oh i know for a fact that my bf would do me no harm whatsoever..he was lauging about after..he was just piised off at a stupid car.
I was just a bad memory i had..and it scared me.
so tell me how you are and how you are dealing with things these days. | |
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| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/18/2004 2:50:09 PM | Well sence the medication sent her off the deep end , you tell me , did it work? Hell no it didnt and the courts agreeded with me, I wont 28,000 dollars for the dissolution of my marriage due to him trying her on experimental medications with out our consent. So do all doctors know what they are doing, no they do not. When my x was on her 3 different medications she was doing great, why the hell would some one just take them off meds to try something else, and then when everything hits the fan say " keep to the meds, it will work soon " well thanks butthead, not only did i get my heart ripped out my butt and stuffed back down my mouth, but my kids were scared durring the whole process. Thanks but no thanks. Not that I will ever see a penny of the money, but for his butt to be working at burger king was so freaking worth it. IF you cant help, do not hinder. Karma has a way of biteing you back and I am so happy he got his, cause he didnt give a damm what happened as long as we didnt miss a payment. Well buddy, cya soon, i need some fries with that.
Gado
Cant never Could, Wont never Will ! | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 40 | |
| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/18/2004 2:57:47 PM | | holy crap im trying to understand what hapened to you... a doctor used your wife as a guinea pig?? for dif meds...made her go bonkers scared the living hell outta everyone.. gut you like a fish..and you tired to sue the doc for malpractise?? and he got i n crap in the end?? | |
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| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/19/2004 9:34:11 AM | | I am very sorry for what happened to you.My husband was diagnosed with bi polar disorder also it is a hard thing to go through.He didnt do to me what your wife did to you he only cheated on me once that i know of at least.But i can kind of relate to what your going through.My husband went psychtic and was in and out of institutions for 1 month.My kids saw a lot that they problably shouldnt have seen.He can be abusive sometimes because of his illness also.He has gotten back to normal but he has come off of the medicine again and refuses to take it.We have gone through this 4 seperate times now.I dont know what to do with him anymore.But like i said i understand your situation and if u ever need to talk i can talk to you. | |
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| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/19/2004 2:49:09 PM | Sweetie thats the way they are, they take there meds then start thinking nothing was ever wrong with them to begin with and come off till they hit rock bottom again. My x does it all the dang time, the one thing that seems to work is I made her start writing in a journel so when she calls me talking about wanting to come off her meds i tell her go read in your journel and call me back and tell me if you think that is a good thing to do. Every time now she calls me back a few hours later and remembers all the things she did to me , crying, and barley able to talk and she gets back on the meds. The only time this doesnt work is when the manic side becomes so bad where she feels no remorse and no time for responcblitys then she comes off and its bad, and again I am the one that has to go pick up the peices and put things back together again for a woman that has torn me apart more times than I would like to admit. So as some of you will ask why do i do that, well I for one refuse to have to explain to my children why there mom is dead or committed suicide or what not. I am not going to have the guilt of that on me. I will do what has to be done, she has hurt her family so much they will not even talk to her. I am her only friend period, other than some new relationship she gets into and the guy has no idea how she is till it just pops out on them, then I get the phone call asking me to help them out. I have 0 feelings for the woman now, I cant feel hate, anger or even love towards her, I am just out of feelings for her, so what i do now is for my children. I know they deserve a better mother, lord i know they do, but that is not of my doing, she is still there mother and will have to answer there questions one day when telling them to mind there own buissness will not work anymore.
to who ever said they didnt understand how i was able to sue a doctor, for got your name sorry, am very under the weather today ok.
As to you dont understand how i was able to sue a doctor that broke 3 different laws in colorado i dont understand. In no state is a doctor able to use you on experiamental drugs with out your consent in writing. In no state can you hide records from the patient if they sign legaly for them and in no state can you use that power to try and get personal gain from it. So as you see i held him responciable for the dissolution of my marriage, even though i think it would have ended up that way anyway, he had no right to do what he did. My x was the woman i married when she was on her 3 different meds, she actually cared about things and was not abusive to me or my children to 2 weeks after he put her on this one med and took her off her other 3. In a 4 month period she started another affair again, this one was with a guy she had had an affair with before we got her on meds. She started being very abusive to me and my children and on 2 occasions actually got physcial with me. Durring this time, the guy she was having an affair with tried to jump me with some friends of his at a loaf n jug , but were not counting on my uncle being there so the ending was the same as it was 3 years prior when they tried somthing like that. Of course my x is back on her meds and see's now the things she did and was tring to do, but when does it end? When do i get the normal life that I have wanted with my kids playing in the front yard while i rub down my wifes back and feet and enjoy the day? I was on my way to living that dream when that doctor got involved and though ohh look, this is easy to do and ill get grant money for trying it out. Yes, i ruined his career, but thank god before he ruined some one else's life along the way. I will never see a penny of that money, but again I have my freedom some what away from the everyday hell of bipolar people, that to me is worth millions. For almost 10 years i was treated as a slave, did all work even raise the kids with very little to no help, I was yelled at and blamed for everything no matter who really caused it, I can count on one hand the amount of times I was told " i love you" in 6 years, I got one gift in 10 years for all the holidays and bdays, but yet I never even missed a sat with out bringing something to show how much i cared. I did all the housework with out complaint, and never did i get a thank you. You want to know what a full out bipolar person's life is like, look there, thats what it is about, do not get involved unless you want what i got, cause very few ever get it under control enough to live normal. I just wish i had walked away years ago instead of thinking and working to make things better, that is the one time in my life where my steel will to not give up really hurt me. I have moved on, but my life is still a drama set daily due to I am the only person she can call that wont hang up on her or wants to kill her, I guess I have to big of a heart cause I just cant let her destroy her self with out trying to help her in some way. I do belive I have found some one that I can have a relationship with, but i am having problems with them actually careing back, it just seems so new to me that it scares the crap out of me. I dont mean to be rude or anything and If i did offend anyone with this letter it was not the intent of it, I have been though hell and have came out the other side finding I am a better person that I ever thought i was. This is just a taste of what I lived though, I in no way ever want some one to go though what i did and pray that all of you find some one that loves you back and you are happy.
Gado
Cant never Could, Wont never Will ! | |
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| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/20/2004 7:14:34 AM | Sweetie,
How can you stay married to a mentally ill person? I struggle with that thought all the time. I meant every word of the vows I took when I married my wife..... "for better or worse." But what if it is always worse and doesn't get better? Mental illness is not curable, especially Bi-polar disorder. They will never wake up one morning and feel normal and healthy. Their minds are on a completely different track than ours. I know you love your husband and he is the father of your children, but ask yourself this........Who are you in love with, the man he once was or the man he is now with Bi-polar disorder? Who is capable of caring for your children, the man who abuses you and has caused massive amounts of drama and chaos in your life or you the strong stable mother who has always put her children first before selfish desires?
I commend you on staying in a dead love relationship as long as you have. However, for your own sanity and emotional health, consider what you are doing to yourself and what you are allowing him to teach your children. If you can work it out.....Great!! If not, then release yourself from the responsibility of caring for another adult, and focus on caring for only yourself and your children. Good luck!! | |
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| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/20/2004 8:09:57 AM | | I have tried to leave him but then he makes me feel guilty.It is really hard.I have been with him since I was 14 years old.I really dont know anything else.I have taken care of him all these years and I am scared of what will happen to him if I leave him.He had a bad childhood nobody ever wanted him his dad or mom he went from house to house.I have always been the only real thing he has ever had and I am scared if I leave him he wont have anything.It is just really hard eventually I will problably get so fed up I will leave him but right now I am scared for him. | |
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| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/20/2004 10:27:20 AM | I hear ya, I was scared at first to leave my x for the same reasons, but you have to ask yourself this, is it worth scaring yourself and your children just so he will have some one there? I hate to say it but every bipolar person I know of has there x or who they are currently with, they have no one else and there is a good reason for it hon. Like I said you are brave to still be there and all we can do is try to support you, but as long as you are with him and he is not getting help you are tearing yourself apart. The only way they get help is if they hit rock bottom most times, give him the alternative of either getting help or you will leave him by himself. You have to be ready for the guilt trip, they do it to everyone they meet or know. You have a long and hard road and all I can do is tell you what I would do if I was in your place. Love is a strong feeling, but i can tell you now, bipolar anntics will ware your love away, its just the way it is.
Gado
Cant never Could, Wont never Will ! | |
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| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/20/2004 10:52:51 AM | | I know.It is just really hard.We were living in seperate places and i was happy but he nagged me all the time and made me feel guilty so i let him come back.i am starting to regret it now because once he is here it is hard to get rid of him.I am just trying to help him because no one else will. | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 47 | |
| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/20/2004 12:22:45 PM | i have zero experince with illness of this sort. But i have seen the effects it has doen on ppl.. thier families and the kids.
I have seen abused kids wives hubbys with skiitzo ( sp ) ect. I have seen adults that were abandoned in a store 30 yrs later, they are stil damaged now as they were then.
All i can tell you is you may have to be selfish. They may have an illness but dont let them get away with using that as an exscuse for bad behavior.
PPl of that kind are doign terrible thigns to oyu.. and its slowly killing you and draining you. It may be the case where they have n o one but you... but from what i see is happening there are kids involved. the long term effects will be damaging if soemthing doenst happen now.
My god im so proud of you guys and girls for not givign up for beign fighters and for caring.
To gad for helping broken...thats soo cool of you to do that.
Everyone needs support..and im so happy you guys are helping eachother. | |
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| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/20/2004 1:32:05 PM | | When your own emotional and mental health is being affected, it is you and your children that need support and affection. Is he providing support and affection to you and your children or is he the cause of the suffering you are enduring? God help you, I know how hard it is. My pending divorce was the last thing I ever expected to happen. Fact is, I had a happy five year marriage, but it was all make believe.......not reality. Now that all the lies, deception, and manipulation have been uncovered, I can easily see how I was being taken advantage of all these years. I have been emotionally abused and neglected for a really long time..........I just didn't realize it until recently. You must do what is best for you. If you aren't taking care of yourself and your own personal needs and desires, you will never be happy and truly healthy. Let time pass you by and it will eventually run out. | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 49 | |
| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 8/20/2004 2:37:50 PM | very well said... its best to leave them alone...they are like a mosquito that keeps on biting and sucking your blood.
they take and take..with out a thanks.I cant tell you at all on what to do...but its so goddam important to get your emotional health up and to be a good parent. The kids dont need 2 fuked up parents. As long as they have a parent who is there with love..support guidance..leadership...role model...thats the best gift you can give them.
They will remeber the one great parent.. and all that you have done for them.
so be smart and take care of you first.. | |
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| Re: Bi-polar wife broke my heart
Posted: 9/7/2004 8:59:10 AM | Update:
Things are still hectic in my life. I began ignoring her for a while hoping that she would get the clue that I don't want to be involved with her anymore. I have been honest with her about that from the beginning, but she refuses to face the truth that our marriage is over. She was served with a legal notification of the date our divorce hearing has been scheduled a couple of weeks ago. On that very same day, she supposedly received a letter from her former lover's ex-wife. The letter was threating in nature and mentioned both me and my son. It was created using a computer and was not signed.
Initially, I was freaked out by the incident. I thought that she had some crazy, pissed off woman after her and possibly me (for whatever reason). As time went on, I started to think that maybe the letter wasn't written by her former lover's ex-wife at all. So, I decided to contact him to see if he believed his ex was capable of doing such a thing. He informed me that on the night in question, his ex was at work and he knew that for a fact because he spoke to her that night. That is when he gave me his opinion on what had happened. He believed that my wife typed the letter herself in an effort to involve me in her drama once again. You see, if I was ignoring her, she knew she had to come up with something....anything, to get me to be concerned about her again. She also wasn't acting like a woman who was fearful for her life. She runs in her neighborhood everyday and goes here and there without worries or questions. She even made comments to me that she occassionally forgets to lock her apartment door (after she received the letter)!
After speaking to her former lover in more detail, he began asking me questions regarding my wife's whereabouts during the course of their relationship together. She told him that the reason they could not be together more is due to her committments in church and other community service projects that she was working on. She basically told him everything that I was doing on a regular basis. Bible study??? Please, she never attended bible study! She even offered to allow him to use our garage when he and his wife were seperating! What if he had taken her up on that offer?? What would she have told me?? I guess the drama will never end. | |
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