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| I know I am being a shallow jerk, but going out w/ her anyway.
Posted: 1/24/2007 3:15:54 PM | Okay - you are going to go out with her - why??
Do you like anything about her??? You seem to have all these issues with her- but hey -
she is willing to accept everything about you so why not give her a shot -
LUCKY HER - I wish she could see this thread here- and yeah - see what a shallow idiot you are-
And I think you have already been called shallow and an idiot - so this is not something new here.
I am not being mean - I am just questioning your motives and if your intentions are honorable - and I dont think they are - you dont like her name - what is the big deal about her name - isnt the person more important - this is why I think you are a shallow idiot.
Our names are unique to us - they define us. I could never be any name other than Vivian. it is me - like Lillian is her. | |
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| I know I am being a shallow jerk, but going out w/ her anyway.
Posted: 1/24/2007 3:31:37 PM | I have to question if you really want to go out with this girl at all.
First it's her weight, than it's her name.;
A name is something she has no choice over,
I hope she doesn't access this site. In one post you've told this girl she is your second choice, you thought she was being deceitful by holding back her weight, that you don't like her name - correction really really don't like her name, mentioning the height assuming she may be shallow and that it may be a concern with her, and all that said you added... "If I were to pass on her, I would have no right to complain about being lonely..." argh.
If you don't like her name as some of the posts suggest, lily is a sweet name or invent a nick name, actually a sweeet name like sweetie, love, hon...sugar:::::
As you get to know her you will learn to like her name or likely find other faults with her.
I understand you are only going to date this girl for the time being, no one is speaking marriage, after the first date, she may not be too impressed either so no need to worry about a simple thing like a name. time will tell,,,,,,,,,,, to me bad shoes are a turn off.... | |
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| I know I am being a shallow jerk, but going out w/ her anyway.
Posted: 1/24/2007 6:53:39 PM | | Hi, i had that same blurring between my ex husband and Tom Cruise, except not in name but in looks. Here's the trick - practise looking for ALL the differences between this gal and your ancient aunt - so that the 'charge' is taken off the name. After all, they really are two very very different people. As for height, well, you really won't know until you meet her in person, will you? I amazed you have gone through all this 'back and forth' and you haven't even spent hours on the phone and in person. What are you waiting for? jump in! Everyone is unique and has more than just one perfect match for them. Shut that 'critical' mind off ~ breathe, relax, and Anticipate something good! :) | |
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| I know I am being a shallow jerk, but going out w/ her anyway.
Posted: 1/24/2007 7:13:45 PM | If this person is great and you pass her up because of her name you are retarded and do not deserve her. If you don't like her first name, maybe her middle name would be more appealing, or Lily instead of Lil or Lillian.
I normally go by the shortened version of my given name. When I was a kid, my mother insisted I use my full name, which I hated, and I have gone by the shorter version since middle school. The guy I am seeing said that it didn't fit me, it was too common and he calls me by my given name.
This really should not be an issue and you should be able to find some way around it without hurting her feelings even if it is calling her babe.
The height issue is obviously something you have dealt with. Some women are comfortable with men that are their height or shorter, others are not. Those that aren't I think usually because they feel thinner or smaller when they are with a man that is taller but if she has no self-esteem issues and she is interested more in who you are than what you look like, perhaps she can get over the height and you can get over her name. | |
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| I know I am being a shallow jerk, but going out w/ her anyway.
Posted: 1/24/2007 7:33:35 PM | Ok, only a little shallow.. but you are still going out which ups the puddle I have been turned down because I looked like an "ex-girlfriend" to guys and I've turned down men because his name is the same as a male family member.. I couldn't get over the idea of being intimate and calling out ..say... my nephews name! It was just too wierd. Anyway chshott, if you like her, I liked the idea of giving her a nickname. Maybe find out her middle name? Make it something special. Good Luck
ps: I have more head shots then body shots, not because I'm hiding anything, it's just what I had on hand. | |
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| I know I am being a shallow jerk, but going out w/ her anyway.
Posted: 1/24/2007 7:52:36 PM | OP, she didn't pick her name. It was given to her at birth by her parents. As for the weight? you saw a face pic, and surely it was asked or told in her profile what her body type is? Yes, some people do fudge the truth, but, you have to give people the benefit of the doubt at first til proven other wise.
We all like what we like, are attracted to certain things, but - I'm thinking you've a bit of a Napoleon complex? Maybe she's too good for you. It happens. Keep looking for that short skinny girl named 'Tits Ahoy'. She's gotta be out there somewhere. | |
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| I know I am being a shallow jerk, but going out w/ her anyway.
Posted: 1/25/2007 1:54:07 AM | I think you are creating a crutch.
Here's how:
You think she is hot..
She is taller then you and that brings back memories of others who dropped you because you were too short.
So instead of just going out and enjoying yourself.. you are going to be self-conscious of your height the whole time.. like when you have to stand on your tippy toes for a kiss.. etc.
When she doesn't return your advances.. you will be thinking.. I didn't want to date her any way because she has my grandmothers name.. and reminds me of her every time I say Lil.
LoL.. Oh.. dang.. if you're that picky.. find a good blockbuster movie and get some popcorn and settle down to be alone the rest of your life.
Go on.. go out with her.. call her Lily.. it is a pretty name.
Oh.. wait.. you might need that crutch.  | |
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| I know I am being a shallow jerk, but going out w/ her anyway.
Posted: 1/25/2007 2:08:18 AM | Well, the name Lillian made a comeback, so it isn't surprising to see one. I think it is an absolutely lovely name (however, it is actually my mother's name and she HATES it and wishes it was anything else). We like to read the baby names in the paper together and see what people are naming their kids....she is constantly calling me and groaning "OH NO, someone else did it!!! Named their baby Lillian. Poor kid." LOL.....but it really is a beautiful name.
When I was very young some friends wanted to intorduce me to a guy named Harold. I never worked up the nerve to meet someone with such a horrible name......shallow or no, it CAN really change the way you feel. | |
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diit
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Joined: 12/26/2006
Msg: 42 | |
| I know I am being a shallow jerk, but going out w/ her anyway.
Posted: 1/25/2007 7:02:46 AM | Aw, I sort of feel sorry for Lil. But I can understand having an issue with a particular name.
In terms of height, if it doesn't bother her that she's going to be taller than her date, why should it bother you? Typically men are complaining that women don't want to date someone shorter than they are..... not complaining that women WILL go out with someone shorter.
It sounds like you have predetermined this won't work, you just have not nailed down the reason yet? | |
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| I know I am being a shallow jerk, but going out w/ her anyway.
Posted: 1/25/2007 7:21:44 AM | cjshott: Not only are you being shallow but you are also being a jerk. I am amazed that you would judge someone by their name...her name is beautiful. It was the name that was chosen for her....some men (and women) are so darned picky and judgemental about things that have no meaning...weight, height...a name....how would you feel if she worried or judged you because you used to be overweight...although you say it was easy for you to lose the weight perhaps she should worry once you get comfortable in the relationship you might think it is also just as easy to gain it all back again...get over yourself...If I were her and I knew you had these rediculous issues with me..I would tell you take a hike...you are not good enough for her.  | |
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| I know I am being a shallow jerk, but going out w/ her anyway.
Posted: 1/25/2007 7:42:37 AM | are you serious?
what is the world comming to that someone would be put off by the other persons name?
i am truely shocked : 0
come on now even you must be able to see that this is senseless : /
yeah dont see her because of her name...cool you could be missing out on a really good women that could be perfect for you...
wifey  | |
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| I know I am being a shallow jerk, but going out w/ her anyway.
Posted: 1/25/2007 7:48:47 AM | Lets see...she was your second choice, you thought she might be overweight, you don't like her name, but she's persistent so you thought you might give her a chance? 
I think Lillian should run while she has the chance....
And, it sounds like you want to find something wrong with her, so with that attitude you will~
Think about this one really hard, because you shouldn't date her just because she wants to date you~
Even though I think you sound a bit one dimensional, putting that aside, I do believe you both deserve to have people in your lives that will appreciate what either one of you has to offer~ | |
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| I know I am being a shallow jerk, but going out w/ her anyway.
Posted: 1/25/2007 8:40:59 AM | Hiiiii...I SO agree with Vulf and Firefighter,shallow aint the word,grow up,get a clue,and respect women for WHO they are NOT what their MAMA named them...so when she was born her mom and dad said" oh Look doesnt she look just like a little lily" hence came Lily/Lil/Liallian | |
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| I know I am being a shallow jerk, but going out w/ her anyway.
Posted: 1/25/2007 9:57:18 AM | Yep, shallow indeed. The thing about your post is that you talk about all the superficial things you don't like - supposed weight, name, height - and the only good thing you mention is that she's hot - again superficial. Other than that it's all about you. If I had to guess I'd say that you don't have anything to offer her.
You also let your superficiality cloud your thoughts. You said:
specifically it comes off as the name of an old lady but don't you realize, every old Lilian was young once and there are tons of them out there now that are still young - you just don't know them. The name has no character of its own - just how you receive it and if it "comes off" as an old name then that's just your limited exposure to it.
Maybe you're hanging with the barbie doll crowd named Barbie and Muffy or the group that their parents made up some gosh-aweful name for... but isn't that the bottom line? The parents made up the name, not her.
I agree with others, Lillian would be a lucky girl if you 'just say no.'
Of course, you could just be a forum troll trying to get a rise out of folks and never met anyone named Lillian.  | |
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