| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/26/2007 8:51:34 AM | Jeep, I have to say that the majority of the mail I've gotten from men showing an interest have been in their hopes for romps over relationships - though I do give them credit for being honest about it.
Sometimes I wonder if the relationship-minded men are maybe sitting back and hoping we relationship-minded women will message them first. | |
|
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/26/2007 9:00:26 AM | Just like any other quality - NICE is relative! How I perceive someone doesn't necessarily mean that the next person sees it the same way. I know that I had two best friends that hated each other. They were both nice - I loved them both - but they each thought the other was a skanky b!tch!! And in actuality, when they were together, I saw that nastiness come out too ~ They were both nice girls, just not with each other lol...
What the heck IS nice?? The list can go on and on, no? To a certain someone, everyone would be considered nice - personally, too nice = fake to me! There has to be a happy medium all around ~ the perfect blend!!
It's like being called a LADY - I see a lady as being stuck up - pearls and hats - never a cuss word - always obliging and smiling - Queen Elizabeth style - FAKE NICE....A WOMAN on the hand would be Princess Diana - faults and all...REAL NICE!!
I've raised my girls the same way as I was taught - you can do anything you want, you can have anything you work for - don't let anyone walk all over you, but always show respect for others as you never know their life story - they are nice girls - but they'll kick ass if they need to  | |
|
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/26/2007 9:02:19 AM |
Sometimes I wonder if the relationship-minded men are maybe sitting back and hoping we relationship-minded women will message them first.
After a certain amount of writing what I think are interesting and friendly e-mails to women I'm interested in, and getting no response at all, I know sometimes I'm inclined to sit back and "resign" myself to letting someone find me. I have no idea if anyone else does that, but I'm sure some must. Dating/finding a relationship can be a very frustrating process here, or in real life. I will also acknowledge that there are times I just sit back and wonder why I bother at all... but for some reason, I keep "bothering". | |
|
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/26/2007 9:11:15 AM | I would have to say i fall into the category that Jeep speaks of ,after sending many e-mails with little or no responce i just kind of layed back and watched everything .
I am the shy type until i get to know someone and sometimes i find it hard to say the right things to some i am interested in and along with a few other reasons i have pretty much stopped e-mailing the ladies ,but hey my choice and possibly my loss .I am very much enjoying the forums though yes UH HUH am too . | |
|
| |
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/26/2007 9:41:58 AM | A bunch of friends and I were discussing the concept of nice and how it applies to woman last week. Personally, I can't stand the word--I think it is meaningless and being described as a nice woman tells you nothing. And I don't think of myself as "nice". Nice has this cover-up quality to it for me, where one just ensures that everything is smooth sailing even if things are churning up underneath. I wouldn't describe my female friends 'nice'. And, i'm not enamoured with men who call themself nice either for the exact same reason. But, this is my interpretation of nice. However, i might not be nice but I am generous, joyful, compassionate, empathetic, strong, harsh, intuitive, intellectual, hard-assed, passionate, loving, etc. not being nice doesn't mean that one can't have other qualities by which to describe themself.
although i did look up the word nice online on websters dictionary--very interesting actually and certainly in some ways adds credence to my opinion about the word. Some of the meanings included meaning appropriate or fitting; obsolete/trivial; demanding great or excessive precision; pleasing/agreeable; well-executed; particular/finicky; socially acceptable and polite/kind. | |
|
.Lisa
|
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 32 | |
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/26/2007 9:46:18 AM | | i really never understood this "i want a nice guy / girl" . technically we're all nice ppl, well except ego boosted things that feel they're gods gift. besides that everyone is pretty much nice, now when seeking a partner..... brains, loyality, trust, faithful, loving, caring, romantic are the qualities more suitable then "a nice guy / girl". like i always ask , describe nice ? cause i meet nice ppl everyday men and women. now for dating appeal it's a different section on the judge chair. if i was to date a man cause he's "nice" i'd have millions of boyfriends. i get NICE ppl that say hello and speak to me on the subway, hold doors, smile and many other things everyday. | |
|
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/26/2007 10:41:57 AM | i've read the thread and i would have to say that.
we are all good and we are all bad. or as i like to say NAUGHTY AND NICE.
we/i think we need a little of both. we need the excitment of the naughty girl to make things interesting and nice girl to keep as grounded.
there is a line that comes to mind
"a lady in public and a freak in the bedroom".
most if not all guys want this. i now i do.
but my other thought is this: when we love the other person it shouldn't matter.
i would think that we would compliment each other in the cents that we drive the other person to be the best they can be. weather that be naughty or nice.
i hope this makes cents. it does to me so. | |
|
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/26/2007 11:33:07 AM | I think we all like to think of ourselves as the "nice girl" or "nice guy" but it's the people around us who are the judges of that. I don't like to think of myself as a mean person but I do know that I DO have a b*tch side to me. It's called having a back bone and not being someones doormat. I was brought up with proper morals and with the belief "treat others as you would like to be treated"
I'm sure i'm gonna get jumped on for this one but the problem I see is that there are too many superficial people in this world. I am constantly seeing generally "nice guys" with total b*tches BUT she's hot, his buddies approve of her looks so he's good to go. Women can be just as superficial but I don't think it's as common as it is with men. I know that when my friends start dating a guy we appreciate him more because of his good nature and how he treats her... if he's hot, that's a bonus!! We arn't out looking for high 5's from our girls...that's an immature attitude to have and it makes people like that weak, jokes in my eyes. Not everyone is like that... but it's very common whether you want to see it or not. We all want a physically attractive partner but it shouldn't matter how attractive they are to others... only to you. Constantly needing peoples approval around you doesn't make you a stud or a princess... instead it makes you a weak idiot.
It is more common to see very nice women with extra weight single then it is to see very nice skinny women single.... why? Because once again society looks down on that... people are too afraid of what others will think. How many of your male buddies do you see now married with controlling, constantly b*tchy women but are decent on the eyes so they married them? Lookin for the trophy wife. There are definitely some women out there that are that superficial aswell but I do think many of us do go for what is on the inside more... we are more willing to get to know someone. Of course we all go for looks at first because it's their outter appearance that caught our attention but for many of us "nice girls" it's what's inside that truly does matter. How he makes US feel.
There is a big difference between being doormat nice and naturally nice. Doormat nice is when you are constantly letting people walk all over you just to please them. Naturally nice is standing up for yourself but having the caring heart to care about others. Doormat nice is usually in many cases the one who ends up in an abusive relationship because in many of their eyes they don't want to be mean and break things off. They insist on ignoring the bad in someone and only see the lil'bit of good. Naturally nice has enough common sense to see an unhealthy situation and usually knows enough to end things and walk away. This IS NOT always the case but it is more often than less.
Men are definitely more buddy buddy with each other while women can be very catty especially if they figure another woman could be a potential threat. Even the nicest woman has a catty side to her...just watch someday and you'll see the glaring looks get exchanged with other women. It's quite funny actually lol | |
|
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/26/2007 12:08:03 PM | PATCH - I think you've expressed yourself well and I agree with everything you've said (though I *have* known some really superficial women and some non-superficial men).
This part:
It is more common to see very nice women with extra weight single then it is to see very nice skinny women single... is especially true from what I've seen over the years, even though I can't say that's the reason I am single since I've always found dating to be challenging, even when I was slim and child-free. | |
|
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/26/2007 12:14:55 PM | I think everyone on the whole believes themsleves to be nice. Men think women want to be with a "bad boy" and them being "nice" is the reason they are not getting responses from women. Women on the other hand don't believe their being "nice" has anything to do with their lack of conatct from men - rather it would seem they believe it to be about their physical appearance, or personal circumstances (i.e. single parent) that is stopping the contact.
Men who are not nice do not make attempts to hide it - women on the other hand will do anything they can do appear "nice" in public, but behind the curtain - watch out, these women are the biggest ****es you ever will meet.
I don't think anyone wants to be with someone who would not treat them properly and intentionally sets out to be treated poorly.
There's a difference between being mean and being bad... | |
|
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/26/2007 12:22:26 PM | Men who are not nice do not make attempts to hide it - women on the other hand will do anything they can do appear "nice" in public, but behind the curtain - watch out, these women are the biggest ****es you ever will meet.
I agree 100% Many women are very good at being fake. I see it a lot, i've seen it on here. I know women that try to come off all sweet and nice (dumbing down and making your voice all sweet like a child drives me nuts) Some of these women are the most controlling, b*tchy, manipulative women out there.
When men are @ssholes they admit to it usually... it makes me laugh lol | |
|
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/26/2007 12:27:27 PM | I agree with you lyrical_girl. I've been with a few "nice girls" ie, quiet, demure seemingly gentle, who had major hostility and anger issues a little way into the relationship. They were wild in bed but didn't get there much because of their frequent resentments. I'm a little gun shy around "nice girls" as a result.  | |
|
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/26/2007 12:36:37 PM | | All men want a nice girl. So we bed down hot ones hoping they are nice as well. As a result...hot gorls can have a lot of sex with many different partners...who don't stay. We stay when we find a nice one. I think the same applies for women. You chase the attractive ones and hope one of them will be nice. Simple | |
|
B.E.D.
|
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 40 | |
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/26/2007 12:48:39 PM | | Not all of us guys are looking for a romp in the sack. I want a nice girl, but not one who is a "doormat". Non assertive, weak people, forget it. I believe it is about the balance and a person's character. Guys say they want "the bad girl in the bedroom". I'm sure women want the "bad boy in the bedroom". The truth is, a person you are interested in can be that "bad" or "dirty" person we all want. It doesn't have to be flaunted right out in the open. It's all about what "matches" for you. I want a romp in the bedroom with the same person all the time, someone who takes my breath away. And as to the point of a "trophy wife or girlfriend", forget it. "Trophy girlfriend" = "High Maintenance". I have no problems with "Voluptuous", "BBW", " a few extra pounds", whatever euphimism you care to use. It is about the person inside, and if you are attracted to them plain and simple. I think if I had a choice between a "nice girl, who is meek and mild"(doormat), your typical bad girl party girl type, or a nice girl (find her badside), I'll take Door #3 everytime. | |
|
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/26/2007 1:08:33 PM | B.E.D. said:
...It's all about what "matches" for you. I want a romp in the bedroom with the same person all the time, someone who takes my breath away. And as to the point of a "trophy wife or girlfriend", forget it. "Trophy girlfriend" = "High Maintenance". I have no problems with "Voluptuous", "BBW", " a few extra pounds", whatever euphimism you care to use. It is about the person inside, and if you are attracted to them plain and simple. I think if I had a choice between a "nice girl, who is meek and mild"(doormat), your typical bad girl party girl type, or a nice girl (find her badside), I'll take Door #3 everytime.
I think then that you are the type of man that's a little more rare in the age range of under 40.
Though if you switch all the female terms with male ones --- I'd take door #3 myself  | |
|
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/27/2007 10:03:31 AM | This entire thread has truly been one of utmost interest! I may get shot for this but here is my take?
A great majority of the fellows who have been whining here about women not wanting "nice guys" have some big time issues. Looks/personality being a lot of it. Quit whinin. Not an attractive feature to have!
Define nice? Nice is a silly word to me that carries nothing as far as a meaning. Men/women in general are all ok. We all have our moments, either sex. I agree 100% with what Mirage said. Men want a lady in public, and a "bad girl" in the sack.Most women I know will agree, can and do behave that way! Men who contact me here and speak of "doing the deed" or asking how "sensual" I can be are blocked. I do not act that way with someone I don't know. Should they choose to be crass, tis their loss. Women for the most part, want a man they can be proud to call "their man" in public. They also want a man who is not afraid to show what he is made of in the sack! Women can be as sexually explicit as men are. Now, to find the combination and make it all work? Easier said than done! | |
|
| |
| |
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/27/2007 10:36:07 AM | Sometimes I wonder if the relationship-minded men are maybe sitting back and hoping we relationship-minded women will message them first.
I think your on the right track S.C the bad boys are looking for nice women the nice women are looking for bad boys.
and us nice wild one are waiting | |
|
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/27/2007 10:37:40 AM |
^^^^ You got it Mirage - I think men do want 'bad girls' - thier brain is wired for sex and less for an emotional connection - I was thinking about that statement. And it appears that you somehow feel superior to all men intellectually and emotionally, and that is rather sexist.
Definitely NOT!!! I was simply stating what is evident in most encounters that we see today!! If you read the forums - ask men and women - you will see that the reality is just that!! It has been frequently written about, by the so called 'experts', that indeed men are wired for sex and that women are highly emotional!!! Have you ever watched Oprah?!?! hehehe 
I for one NEVER deem myself superior - emotionally nor intellectually to anyone - I think we all have the same abilities - it's how we use them, that makes the difference come to light!! | |
|
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/27/2007 10:52:59 AM | not so,rose,here is one nice guy that actually wants a nice woman and not just for a romp either .there are far more better things to do with women than romp with them.i really want to talk to them and get to know them better and actually go honest to goodness activities outside the bedroom with them.sex is minor to me in a relationship.  | |
|
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/27/2007 11:14:10 AM |
After a certain amount of writing what I think are interesting and friendly e-mails to women I'm interested in, and getting no response at all, I know sometimes I'm inclined to sit back and "resign" myself to letting someone find me. I have no idea if anyone else does that, but I'm sure some must. Dating/finding a relationship can be a very frustrating process here, or in real life. I will also acknowledge that there are times I just sit back and wonder why I bother at all... but for some reason, I keep "bothering".
Yep, I used to send mail all the time, but after a year of not one response, I thought what a waste of time and effort, I would read the profiles, I would send messages that tied both my profile and theirs together to show that we had the same beliefs or interests and whatever else, but eventually you get sick of doing all that work for people who seemingly aren't what they say on their profile.
So I stopped sending (initiating) mail period. Every once in a while I'll send a few here and there, just to see if anything has changed from like 3 years ago, and to be honest? Nope, from my experience not a thing has changed at all.
I just wait until my email tells me I have new mail at plentyoffish and then I'll reply to whatever message I have in my box, but as far as me starting the mail convos? I'm done, and been done for a loooong time lol.
Now in terms of the "real" world, I have yet to meet an actual "nice" woman/girl/lady/ or whatever term you want to use. I know that the term nice is subjective to ones own perception of what the deem to be nice, however, there is nothing nice about this...
*At a bar, guy is waiting to buy his drink, woman comes over, says hello, guy says hi back, convo starts going. Bartender asks guy what can I get you? Guy says blah blah, bartender asks woman if she's getting anything, she orders her drink, bartender comes back with both drinks, guy pays for his drink, smiles at woman, and is about to walk away. Woman gets mad because she has to go into her purse and actually pay for a drink! OMG say it isn't so! Then she goes and seeks the guy out to yell at him about not buying her drink, she's a woman, she should never have to pay for a drink.*
Yeah, that's what I get in the real world, and when I did buy a woman a drink, they would say thanks laugh and walk away.
I know there are decent, self respecting women out there somewhere, will I find one or them find me? Not likely, do I care much anymore? Not really. If it's supposed to happen it will, if not, it saves me the headach of dealing with a bunch of losers and wasting my time lol. The amount of crap that the media puts out and fills the heads of many women is really staggering and sad, I look at the "must buy drink for me" type of women no different than one who is insecure and emotionless, and only out for the money, the problem is, they seem to everywhere you go lol.
Hmmm, Now how DO you spot a "nice" woman? | |
|
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/27/2007 11:25:22 AM | i tend to think that everyone is nice until they prove me wrong. some people think of a nice person, man or woman, being in good spirit with their mind, body, and soul while others just think of a nice person being nice because they can talk the talk.
sure, i can talk the talk as well as walk the walk.......can some guys? can they accept me for the woman that i am or maybe other women that are the same way as well? some of them can then there are those that don't want such a nice girl. | |
|
| We've all read nice guy threads - what about nice women?
Posted: 1/27/2007 12:07:36 PM | No need. I would say that probably most women qualify as "nice" people (however confused)
Not so with most men.
Sorry but being a bad person is not gender specific and I will challenge anyone to prove me wrong.
I managed to find three who either don't know what integrity is or don't care, that leads to dishonesty and no compassion for the people that they hurt along their road to "my needs come first"
ponygrl I have different words but mean the same as yours basically, I respect others expecting they do the same in return and most do. You also have to willingly extend trust
to the person who you plan on being with or you shouldn't start the relationship, this again is expected in return but there are times it isn't and this is what is hard to take when it happens too many times to the same person. | |
|
Home
login 
