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 Dallior
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 226
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Males disapproving of women having male friendsPage 10 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

I have a hard time understanding how two people used to be a couple, broke up AS A COUPLE...now all of a sudden they are best friends?...so you couldnt get along in a relationship but now you get along as friends?.....so why did you even break up?

People break up for many reasons. Mostly because one or the other assumes the relationship places more limits on it than the other. In which case they break up and step back into another set of rules. I think everyone should remain friends if they can. It's more civilized. Why do you have to hate somebody just because the two of you didn't make a good couple? That doesn't mean you cannot be good friends. I'm still friends with everyone I ever dated, including my two ex wives.


I do have a little issue with females staying friends with men they have slept with. If that is insecure, well call me insecure then.

I'd say that is definitely insecure. What exactly is the problem you have with people being friends? Having sex should not mean you only have two choices to be either lovers or enemies. As I said, I am still friends with every woman I ever had sex with.
 Dallior
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 227
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 3/3/2007 11:37:01 PM


1: If she only has male friends and no female friends .... move on.
2: If she has no female friends at all... move on.
[/quote

Don't these two say exactly the same thing? To start off with rules like these show a definate lack of trust from the start. If you ladies run into men with these type rules, it would be a good idea to "move on".
 eman07
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 228
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 3/4/2007 7:41:15 AM

People break up for many reasons. Mostly because one or the other assumes the relationship places more limits on it than the other. In which case they break up and step back into another set of rules.


Its usually built up over time.....it just doesnt happen overnight. They fight and argue over what "limits" they are. I dont think anyone just wakes up and says..."you know what, we are not getting along as a couple, lets break up, and become friends"...."sure...ok"
not that simple....


Why do you have to hate somebody just because the two of you didn't make a good couple?


i never said anything about hate. BUT, i have ex's who if i ran into them somewhere, we would say "hey" and be civilized. BUT it doesnt mean im calling three or four times a week to hang out with me either.


That doesn't mean you cannot be good friends. I'm still friends with everyone I ever dated, including my two ex wives.


everyone you ever dated?...dont know about that...but i will take your word for it. 2 ex wifes?..you got married twice, didnt work out, and your are still friends with both of them?...if i have this correct....

you dated two people, got along so well, that you decided to spend the rest of your lives toghether, then something in the relationship broke down...communication, trust, whatever it was to cause you NOT to see eachother on a everyday basis. Correct me if im wrong, but you did get divorced because you COULDNT GET ALONG?.....if im assuming, then tell me. Now, after all the paper work is done, after everything got split, after the divorce is paid for, you two can still hang out and be best of friends?....so i guess my question is....you are great friends NOW after the divorce....why didnt you stay together then?....so the things that broke you up in the first place is overlooked when you are friends?


As I said, I am still friends with every woman I ever had sex with.


every women?....not saying i dont believe you, but your one of a kind if its true..male or female


I'd say that is definitely insecure. What exactly is the problem you have with people being friends?


I have a problem with women i date who claim they have a best friend who is a male, that used to be an ex. I dont want my g/f running over to an EX/BOYFRIENDS house when we are having problems. I was with a girl for 4 years who had a "male best friend".....i accepted it, didnt really like that she told him EVERYTHING about me....BUT she never gave me a reason not to trust her either....so i was fine with it. Plus they never slept together....(so she says) so i again...trusted her.

on the flip side...dated a girl for a year, who had an ex buck fuddy as a best friend. We got into a fight one time.....she went running over to his house, and she said they "kissed". I told her to make a choice....him or me...well...we are not together anymore...she went the other way.....
 sqVirgo
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 229
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 3/5/2007 1:16:13 AM
I am currently in a situation with a woman who I relate to as a true friend, even a BEST friend and her man is completely jealous over the whole matter. Thankfully the integrity of my friend for her own friends is good and she's not letting her newly-acquired male companion dictate to her who she may or may not befriend.

Any man who doesn't realize that men are capable of platonic relationships just as much as women are is lacking in emotional maturity and ignorant of their own potential. I know I went for a very long time thinking that men and women couldn't REALLY be platonic friends but I can see that it is possible.

I do agree with some of the sentiments of TheDancingQueen and others that the tendency is more than likely to be one of romantic attachment. The key is to be able to get over those feelings and either lock them away or disregard them completely. I've done that and now I can safely say that I would just assume have sex with my own sister as I would my true friend. Ewwwwww.
 dougie_32
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 230
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 3/5/2007 1:41:37 AM
be carefull have your wits about you and dont trust anyone 100% no matter what
 Bubbles27
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 231
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 3/5/2007 1:43:23 AM
Depends on the level of friendship. Depends on if they used to date. I don't want to date a man that has hundreds of female friends he hangs out with nightly. That would bother me.
 Blueguy21
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 232
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 4/21/2007 11:38:12 AM
its no wonder there's so many divorced people these days with these retarded values.


Erman (or eman w/e) Your totally right don't change your values and dancing queen your right too! All you other people , your in denial and a bunch of attention seeking whores and will never have stable marriages because of your addiction to attention. Good day
 codyellie
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 233
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 4/21/2007 11:45:17 AM
My best mate comes from an ex........people NEVER cease to surprise me........they are all good fun....even if they happen to be the 'male' friend of my girlfriend!
 Tigger59
Joined: 7/30/2005
Msg: 234
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 4/21/2007 12:07:33 PM
There's nothing wrong with platonic friendships between opposite genders. I do wonder about some women who have 20 male friends for every 1 female friend. You've gotta wonder just WHY is this woman so popular with the guys? I have a female friend like this and she is smoking hot. And whenever I see her at the local coffee shop there seems to be 10 of her guy friends buzzing around her. I suspect that a lot of those guys are former lovers who would like nothing better than an encore or guys who think "maybe, just maybe, one of these nights.." I could be wrong but who knows.
 Piano4te
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 235
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 4/21/2007 12:39:42 PM
Well....I'm going to sound like a live a life of a double standard.....but here it goes.....

I just read an article yesterday in USA Today about the skyrocketing amount of extramarital affairs amongst people who go away for those long distance business meetings and conventions........

hmmmm.....go figure.......I only witnessed this stuff happening every day when I was involved in entertaining these types of conventions through my life..... business associates and FRIENDS.....whatever.

Personally....I was ALWAYS able to have quite a few platonic friendships with females. This mostly just because I have some stupid sense of MORALITY. I simply don't put any 'sexual' overtones into any of my platonic relationships. Therefore, I never receive any in return.... They're FRIENDS.....they're not friends that I'm waiting to lure in if their love life goes to crap....or that I'm going to listen to their problems with their love life, giving them a 'shoulder to cry on' and then offering them more than my shoulder to 'console' them.......they're FRIENDS.

This being said.....There was a time when I thought everybody could do this....but apparently, not everybody can. I had to learn some life lessons the hard way....It would be nice to assume that a woman can have a lot of male friends and it be 'strictly platonic'....but chances are nowadays.....if you dig hard enough.....there will be some underlying either PAST or FUTURE motivation that went far more than friends with these co-ed friendships.......

And to be honest......I'm not going to entertain a ton of male friends calling all the time simply because they want to TALK.....it doesn't make me 'insecure'.....it means, WE and our relationship are the primary focus. And if a woman is going to put up a huge FUSS until these 'friendships' are proven to be nothing BUT friendships through the course of time and careful observation......then GOODBYE......Have as many male friends as you want.....this law of nature isn't ME specific...it's a law of nature.....you just won't be able to have a very good relationship.....can't have BOTH...make a choice.... I've learned most love the drama of all intermingling to keep the pot stirred.....and it turns out to be a flirtatious, ego boosting scenario......no thanks.....
 codyellie
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 236
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 4/21/2007 12:44:01 PM

They're FRIENDS



I am afraid to say that WITHOUT question I have at least ONCE thought about 'boffing' my female friends..............

SORRY girls......but its the truth.....

Ben
 Blueguy21
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 237
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 4/22/2007 9:48:06 PM
You know what pisses me off though is all these women with these so called male "friends" make a huge fuss like it's the end of the world . It's as if they don't take their relationship seriously or care about their SO's feelings very much. I find it disgusting and very selfish. Like i said above, no wonder the divorce rates getting high. Then when the men who know whats going on get suspicious (when they probably have a good reason to be) they are automatically "insecure and possessive" f off , it's called common sense people.
 TheDancingQueen
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 238
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 4/23/2007 1:53:09 AM

The test is really simple.

Go find any "male friend", tell him you've always been interested in him and that you want a no strings attached evening with him.

Then start taking off your clothes. I'd bet 99 out of a 100 guys would just sleep with you or any other girl outright.

Then you will see how long the "friendship" lasts.

What many of you have is not "friendship", it's a "quenue" Just a line of guys waiting for a shot at getting you into bed.
 ~curlygirl~
Joined: 4/22/2006
Msg: 239
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 4/23/2007 2:12:11 AM
this is ultimately a matter of insecurity, and applies equally to both men and women. we are all capable of friendships with the opposite gender while remaining fully faithful to an intimate partner. those platonic friendships in no way need to threaten our current romantic relationship, and any threat is usually a perception brought on by jealousy and insecurity rather than any genuine risk of infidelity. the question is ultimately whether or not we trust our partner. if we do...then we need to set aside our self-induced irrational fears. if we don't...then the relationship is doomed to fail.
 NatashaWallis
Joined: 3/26/2007
Msg: 240
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:34:32 AM
I wonder how many of you guys could manage if you were a woman and a lesbian. In lesbian relationships it is an total merry-go-round where your best friend IS your lover and your ex-lover your best friend too. With a much narrower circle of friends and potential lovers it is veritable tinderbox for misunderstanding and infidelity but somehow relationships survive.

That is probably due to the different hormonal makeup of women to men. Men in general, as Dancing Queen says, think with the head they keep in their underwear and not the one at the top of their body.

I have straight male friends who are great to talk to but I ain't going to jump into bed with them - even though I am pansexual - the right guys really DO want to help and are more than happy to be just friends. A lesbian g/f would know I only had eyes for her if she was the right one. An insecure one would be a pain in the a*** on all counts - jealousy is a bad trait to have irrespective of gender.

Kira
 italiaheartwild
Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 241
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 4/23/2007 6:31:38 AM
I have more male friends than girl friends...so why does the gender of your friends make a difference....to each his own...friends are friends...unless the friendship has benefits than that would be the tie breaker in a relationship with someone.
I met a guy this year that has so many female friends on his messenger it amazed me how he could remember all of them....there were like over 150 of them...come to find out ....half of them were ex girlfriends or intimately involved ones from the past.....now that is where it should make a difference....to me an EX is a EX for a reason....why would you ever want to go back in the past..even if its just to chat...besides I showed him the curb real fast...thank God I never got sexually involved with him...my motto is ...know someone first before that step is taken ..who in their right mind would want to date someone that has been involved with so many others in a sexual relationship anyways?..............being friends with the opposite sex is one thing...but being intimate with all of them or most of them and still keeping in contact with them is another issue.
 dustyangel1
Joined: 3/13/2007
Msg: 242
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 4/28/2007 2:06:03 AM
This is a reply to xy13 & Haligal :-


If a female friend came to me wanting a "no strings attached evening", yes, I might sleep with her if she's hot. I might politely decline if she's not. Outrageous, huh?


Not all that outrageous, it comes down simply to what turns you on at any particular point in time. And if all you're in the mood for at the time is a quick **** and nothing else then yes you would sleep with her.


But guess what, I don't see anything wrong with it. She is an adult person and aware of what she's doing, there is a mutual understanding of the nature of this "no strings attached evening", i.e. there are no expectations of a deeper relationship, she initiated it without any seducing from me ... why should I say no? I'd give her a great time and still be her friend afterwards. :) That said, situations like that tend to get out of hand easily. Sooner or later one of the two sides can't handle the "no strings attached" part anymore and expects more. And often that is actually the woman.


****I'm with the xy man here; which i will expand with my own explanation later. Suffice to summarize as F.W.B. (Friends With Benefits)****


So it helps tremendously if there's no physical attraction. I made several excellent female friends in my life, many of the friendships have been lasting for years, even beyond some girls' weddings. For nothing in the world would I want to give up these friendships and if a new date would ask me to, the new date could take a hike.


Very sensible, jealousy can do lots of damage right from the word go.


However, many of them I personally wouldn't describe as especially "hot" and I have absolutely no romantic interest in them.


I disagree with this statement, as i believe thats where you can miss out on good friendships with an attitude like this getting in the way. Ive known many girls over the years, and some of them wouldnt be termed "hot" either, but then again, if you only want to **** a model all the time, there may come a time when it will be a little bit hard to find the next babe that is a "turn on". And they may just have the brains to say "**** off" for just being added to a list of babes you keep somewhere.

Don't get me wrong; i like getting into bed with a stunning lady if i get the chance as well; however i say there has to be something else underneath as well. Some of the worst shaggers can be Vogue on the outside but Vague on the inside.


I have seen the other side too though. The hotter the girl, the more likely she'll have some kind of male fan club of spineless wimps who fulfill her every whim, secretly hoping that one day she'll recognize them for the nice guy they are and they'll "get some". Which of course never happens.
I agree that's usually true, because if you're just part of a pack & just worshipping somone from afar, not putting urself out in front, then you will never be noticed!

Correct me here if im wrong ladies, but don't you usually like to have a guy stand out for at least one reason so that you remember them?


"And often that is actually the woman."


****(From above) Haligal, you sound surprised at the concept of a girl wanting a FWB arrangement to become something else! Why? Is it so hard to think that chicks can become irrationally infatuated with guy that they have the hots for? Or is the stereotype of guys only thinking with their**** not able to be translated into the female ideology? Seems a little unfair to assume that people with boobs and a uterus don't every now and again decide that they just want to be ruled by their groin 1st before their heart invades the battle! lol : glow:

Lets face it, xy13 didn't say ALL women want things to evolve further after a night of lustful sex. At some stage us guys have all been shoo'ed out the front door almost as soon as we've put our pants back on.....

But it does happen that ladies sometimes want more than what they have known has been offer. Sometimes humans, male or female cant help but try to see if the chemistry from one night could work in a permanent form. The only thing wrong with it is that it can bring about some sticky situations when one party has to re-iterate to the other that while the sex was good, but nothing else is going to happen, & that its time to move on.

IN THE END:

Let me say this as my experience. From the number of female friends that i have had, and YES, SLEPT WITH, the arguments of both Miss DQ & xy13 DO have validity, but they are not prime gospel, and shouldnt be considered as literal dogma.

How the situation works after you wake up the next day, lying naked beside one of your closest friends depends very much on how adult you both are, as well as whether or not you let your clear and rational judgement become clouded.

I have female friends, both "HOT" and "not", as well as gay and bi-sexual. The only one that i havent slept with is my best friend, and she's the gay one. I get on better with her platonically anyway, even though she is a "HOT" friend that i would sleep with if she asked. We both know where its at with each other, and thats why we are friends after all the time and periods of not speaking that we have had. We know where we stand, & even have an arrangement for her to have a family in future when she can't hold off her clucky urges any further.

I should add a side note to this part regarding any ladies that i have done the FWB "relationship" with. I have ended up exclusive with a couple of them, and its not a bad way to start a relationship at all, as long as lots of talking to get to know eachother happens instead of awkward silence, broken only by sweating and grunting between sheets!

On the other hand, it must be said that it has been hard to convince several of them that when things ended, its better not to continue being groin buddies.

Frankly, if you both want to **** each other when your not getting any whilst being single shouldnt stop you if you don't get stupid about it. The fact that you can end up in bed with a mate doesnt make them any less your mate, it just means that you have a clear defined line as to what you want and what you are willing to put up with. Not to mention the fact that its my experience that you end up knowing and trusting that person better than you would a girlfriend, simply because you can deal with the issues next day without being in love with them.

The best sex ive ever had, was with a girl ive known for over seven years; and up until recently we have been platonic friends the whole time. She and i have had other b/f's and g/f's in between that period as well. From what we have asked, our partners didnt seem to mind at all that i was one of her male friends, and that she was one of my female friends. Again we both know where its at with each other, and it works for both of us because we have each others respect from many years of platonic contact.

Friends with the opposite sex is possible, as is sex with those friends, but the lines have to be clear and de-lineated before anything gets confused.
 schotzimama
Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 243
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 4/28/2007 5:24:19 AM
I have more male friends than female friends, simply because I often relate better to men, and I mean strictly platonic friendships. I will NOT give up my male friends for a jealous boyfriend. In fact, I would probably dump the boyfriend if he kept giving me an attitude about it. If I really LIKE the guy, though, I would let him meet my male friends, just so he can see that there is nothing to worry about. The exception may be male friends who were formerly boyfriends, especially if they still have feelings for me.
 *fcukity boo*
Joined: 4/5/2007
Msg: 244
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 4/29/2007 2:01:39 AM
Glad i found this topic! i have so much shit with BF's an having male friends,(real male friends ive had for 20yrs an grown up with)..i even state from day one i have male friends who i go out drinking with an hang out with most days. Even introduce them to my mates straight away to ease thier minds abit but never works. If i wanted to be in a relationship with one of my best mates then surely i wouldnt be introducing a BF to them...never have understood a mans thinking,not sure i will either!
 becketlady
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 245
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 4/29/2007 5:29:09 AM
I have guy friends but none fit in your category here. They are my friends just like any friends. We talked alot about different things just like anybody but not intimacy or waiting on me. He is my long time friend from when we were little. I am not giving up my male friendship over a man. LOVE is not ENVY. If a man dislike the fact, move on. They are my male friends like famiy before anyone else. NO, I am not going to put a stop to it. It is like a husband telling wife to stay away from her family and give it up. My ex did and I shut him out. He did the same with my friends. Remember they were my friends before him. Called lack of security, no trust, insecure, controllable, love is blind. Keep
 becketlady
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 246
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 4/29/2007 5:34:42 AM
yes, I would be friends with my ex husband and ex boyfriends but I will not fall in love with the same one, nor go to bed with.

(((((((females staying friends with men they have slept with)))))))))
same for the ex husbands and wives, I heard they do it too. I found it to be wrong. that is not my style to fit in. I just remains friends "only" and "no sex" involve.
 interorl7
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 247
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/13/2007 4:56:21 PM
Wow, sushisake, your account closed on 2/1/07. lol, Did you really leave that fast or do you have another account and just wanted to stir the pot some more, lol.

I read your post, seems the only real question was, "I personally don't understand why it would be necessary to have male friends in the first place" so tried to see your profile to see if you were male / female, but could not because you deleted it, my guess is female.

Since that question was very effectively answered by a few others...I read about 4 pages of the 10 pages of posts, lol, so I know I am repeating here. First a comment or two then some questions!

Insecurity, jealousy both suck, we all experience these negative emotions, it is how you react to them that shows how mature you really are. A person who does not have command of themselves might not be capable of fostering friendships with the opposite sex for these reasons. Sad, their loss. Such a person would also believe / expect the 'worse' in a potential partner based on these emotions. Such a person might 'expect' them to NOT foster friendships with the opposite sex. Worse yet such a person might get mad at their partner assuming the worst if they wanted to have friends of the opposite sex. Again, sad.

I personally would not want to date someone I cannot trust. And you do find people you can honestly trust at all ages, more at older ages, though some older people seem as juvenile as some younger people, so there is no hard and fast rule with age either.

The only women I have NOT been friends with after a romantic relationship (being PC, lol) are the ones that with went out of their way to ‘hurt’ me or chose not to be my friend. Their choice, not mine. Sometimes we needed some distance and time before we could be friends again. But I can always be their friend again, though if they were not trustworthy (or went out of their way to hurt me), I probably might not choose to hang out with them as much, but still would be willing to be their friend.

Why would you want to spend any significant amount of time with someone, make it special, and NOT be friends after the special part stopped? (<-not the question I was thinking of above, but a good one.) Why limit your circle of friends that tightly. Sad for you if you do!

The comments from bisexual females and lesbian women ring very true. My circle of lesbian \bisexual female friends have pretty much all dated each other romantically at one time or another. If one has a party or a new partner, they invite all the others including the new partners. Sometimes a 'new' girlfriend gets jealous, but if they give the other women a chance, they soon find that they too are included in this very tight knit, dedicated, circle of friends. (There have been a few that were too jealous and/or insecure, their loss.) Lovers come and go, but friends are forever with most of my friends in that group.

Sometimes our best lovers were our best friends! I would suggest to all you naysayers that your best friends could be ex-lovers - if you will let them be your friends! But you have to give them a chance...they can only meet you half way.

Many of you can't allow friendship after love, sad for you! This is YOUR PROBLEM, NOT THEIRS!)

For the girls that think they are all that, so what if most or all men and women want to get into your pants. So what, acknowledge it, be flattered (if you are smart) by their attention, one day you might not have so many potential suitors. Hint: If you think that you are all that, then that day is closer then you realize, lol. Call it Karma! If you must test them (play games) do so at your own risk, but I do not recommend that.


My question is why won't you let them be friends after they are your lover, why not?


What is there to be insecure about?


What is there to be jealous about?


What is your problem?


Since they have already been 'in your pants' wouldn't you be relieved to know they are your friends and now don't care whether or not they get 'in your pants'!

My question for those girls that need to test (aka play games) with guys (yes it could be other women too, but the context is a couple of girls thinking all guys want them) is this:

Can you tell a guy 'No, I don't want to have sex with you.' and still be their friend? If not why not?

And if you are a girl in that group, have you ever had a relationship end that was not your fault? (You might want to give that some serious thought if you ever want to have good friends!)
 Dijita
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 248
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/13/2007 5:59:56 PM
Good, solid friends are rare, and to abandon or snub a solid friend because you started dating someone is very bad. Kind of like a slap in the face really to someone who stuck their neck out for you when no one else would or could.

I once had an online fling with someone. We were friends for about a year and one day we were simply talking and it kind of upscaled, and continued for quite a long time really. There was a major snag though. She was married. It was always an issue to me at heart. I know that if it was me, I would feel crushed that my long time mate was having a long term, intimate relationship with someone - be it talking or sex. It carried on the way it did for so long, because... we were friends. True friends. I have no one, no family no people i grew up with no support or helping hands. That woman is the only person who has been there for me, through the worst of the worst, whether I just needed a hug, or if I got in financial trouble, or was sick or... anything. AMAZING person, my god I'd be dead without her. Would I give her up as a friend because I started a relationship? No. We stopped the fling thing because it was complicating her life, and even broke contact to kind of... let that aspect of things die. But even now, I can pick up my phone or write an email and say "I need your help." And it's there.
I started my own relationship with someone who was very very jealous, and I loved her very much, enough to not only stop talking to female friends but kind of removed myself from almost all my old social circles. I think we've all done something similar at one time, or experienced it from a friend at least. I spoke with my friend and explained how I felt. That I wanted to show the person I was with that she was the focus of my day and world, and told her that I wouldn't be around very much. I know it broke her heart to hear, but she also knows I needed that in my life, and supported me 100%.
Girlfriend is gone...
Friend is still there *smiles*

The other side of the coin.
I've never been with one person who has had male 'friends' that I didn't eventually find out that she was ****ing at least one or more of them. Statistically speaking - Dude... If your girl (or guy) is really concerned about maintaining extensive friendships when you are in what you consider a serious relationship - they're not really there anyways. Only a matter of time. Truly. There's a little part of me that knows if my girl says "Oh I'm going to go to a friend's house and party - it's their birthday. And they don't ask me to join them... they're getting boozed up and hooked up. If you are going to do something fun, and social, and are in love, you will want that person there. If you don't... you're there to hook up. I get a gross feeling in my stomache if I just sit here and reflect all of the times a girl I was with went camping, or partying or clubbing till 5:00am with a 'friend" I didn't know at the time plus I beleive in trust - but many years later, learning more about people... fu-u-u-ck...

Ever heard the song Lips of an Angel? I hate what that song represents. How utterly false those people are to themselves, each other, their mate. yukk

Don't be confused SushiSake you're right, there is no reason for your girl to have a lot of male friends. And if they have a solid, omg you saved my life kinda friend, they will understand and adapt to the necessity of respectable distance.
 Dijita
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 249
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/13/2007 6:18:33 PM
One thing I did want to add..

If your mate includes you in those friendships and doesn't have a lot of 'alone time' with them. Things are probably on the up and up. In my mind the only respectable way to maintain extra-relationship friendships with sexually compatable people - is to either shut it down, or make it all inclusive, and open.
You know... Honesty.
 ascuteasabug
Joined: 8/8/2003
Msg: 250
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/13/2007 6:40:04 PM
DancingQueen, I can't help but feel sorry for you. Whether a man is physically attracted to his female friends is not the issue. There are men out there that do think with their minds, having character and are wonderful friends. Sure looks do help some people to get ahead, but it is not the end all to beat all that you think it is. A person is more than the sum of their looks or possessions. The value in friendship is priceless.
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