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 NuDig
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 351
Males disapproving of women having male friendsPage 15 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
What business has a woman adding so many friends to her facebook friends list when she is already attached? I'll not respond to the idiot who told me to remove myself from the gene pool. If you're with someone you have no business adding complete strangers to your facebook account, end of story.
 B0N1TA
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 352
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 10/10/2009 1:45:05 PM
Yea, some guys who think nothing else but having sex with as many woman as possible...would! think that, wouldn't they....
But you know what? As crazy as it sounds? Some women are actually capable of having "true" male friends.
Firstly, I think gay male friends are the best in my opinion. Love 'em, love 'em. But also, I have a really good friend who has always been there for me....aaaand, for either of us to even think we could be together romantically makes both of us cringe. We might as well have come out the same womb because that is how tight we are. And as far as boyfriends expecting me to dump lifelong friends for them to feel secure about the relationship? You can forget it. That is just ridiculous. However, I would compromise in terms of maybe not spending so much time with my friend, which I don't anyway. But I wouldn't drop my friends which is what happened to me some years ago when one of my best girlfriends shut everyone out of her life to be with this guy (very much like the Lauren and Heidi from The Hills, scenario).
If a boyfriend (or girlfriend) feels that insecure? then they need to work it out. Get to know your partner's friend. But if you still have problems and your intuition tells you something's up? Then don't wait on anybody to convince you that the relationship is not for you ;)
 89*4L
Joined: 8/7/2009
Msg: 353
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 10/10/2009 3:07:40 PM
In a civilized world men are friends with other men and women are friends with other women. Men and women date. IF they F*#k they are together and not to date others but can still see their friends. If they break up they do not become friends but may go back into the dating community.
 ElleShooTiger
Joined: 2/4/2009
Msg: 354
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 10/10/2009 10:17:40 PM

What business has a woman adding so many friends to her facebook friends list when she is already attached? I'll not respond to the idiot who told me to remove myself from the gene pool. If you're with someone you have no business adding complete strangers to your facebook account, end of story.


Are they really "strangers" or people she actually has met in real life from work/school/etc?? Hahahaha you think that by adding people as "friends" to a worthless website she is somehow demeaning your relationship? Facebook could go away tomorrow and most of us wouldnt even remember a lot of the people we had friended over the years. The "friend" concept on there is faaaarrrr from what real friends are, but friend sounded better than "acquaintance" which is what 95% of them are.

You are a loser, and stop stalking her friend list trying to figure out if she is cheating on you with every new added friend. If she has any common sense, she will get tired of your BS and drop you on your ass, and then you will come back here and ask why! There's your answer, stop being so insecure.
 blondiez1970
Joined: 9/13/2009
Msg: 355
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 10/11/2009 2:07:32 AM
I have a few close male friends and 1 female best friend.

I will not give up my friends, male or female for a man who says he doesnt' feel comfortable with our friendship. He is the one who has inseucrites and issues, not me and not my friend. We know what are friendship is and where it is not going, as most men like to think they know what the hidden agenda is of the male friend.

Of course I have heard double standards with opposite sex friendships.

The woman will keep her male friends, because she knows it will not go any further, if it was in question at one point of the relationship, she stated her wishes and he abided by them, and they do not cross that line what so ever, and the man respects his lady friend and will not jeoperdize their friendship by trying to pursue it any further. Her male friends are just that with no sexual interest what so ever.

Men with women friendships, where his girlfriend/wife wants him to stop all contact with his lady friends, is because, she feels insecure, but she also knows, if one of them has an interest of more than friendship, that lady friend will still pursue it at all costs, and putting her male friend in jeoperdy with his wife/gf.

I have seen both happen to people, where their opposite sex friends have tried to break up their relationships because they did have a hidden agenda.

But a majority of us, we have friends that will not do that or pursue anything more than just a friendship. Most women will end a friendship with a man if he tries to do that, men on the other hand will keep their female friend because in the back of their mind, they know if anything happens in their current relationship, they will turn to that one who wants more than a friendship.

I for one feel that both people need to keep their circle of friends, be it male or female.
That person was brought into your life for a reason, and your friendship is hard to come by. True friends are only a handful during your lifetime, so why would you want your significant other to give them up because of your jealousy and insecurities?

My one friend is a man, his girlfriend had studying to do this weekend and told him to just go out, I could not go, but we are all friends, and she knows there is and never will be anything more than just friendship between me and him. Their level of trust, and being secure in their relationship tells alot about them.

When you get into a relationship, your friends becomes your partners friends, if they have a problem with that then maybe you need to end it and find someone who won't.

If you tell your partner to stop talking and or seeing her male friends, then you are the one who has the insecurity and trust issues, and if you feel you can't trust her, then why be with her? If you are jealous, then take a step back and look at yourself and realize that jealousy is ugly and it consumes your every day thoughts and actions, and turns you into this crazy over assuming and accusing person.
 blondiez1970
Joined: 9/13/2009
Msg: 356
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 10/11/2009 2:16:49 AM
Just because you are dating someone means you have to stop being or making friends?

What is so wrong with adding people to your facebook and making new friends?

Really, what is the purpose of your post?

To show your own insecurites, jealousy?

I know many people use myspace, facebook and twitter for networking, business, family, friends, old school friends, college friends etc...

If I had my own business and wanted to network, I would use facebook, and if the man I was with had a problem with that, then it would be his problem not mine.

If you feel she is adding MEN to start her search for a "better speciman", than maybe your insecurities, jealousy and lack of maturity is showing and she doesn't like it and wants out, but will keep you around until that better speciman comes along.

Are you that insecure of yourself, your relationship and trust that you feel she should not be talking to people or adding new friends especially if they are male?

If so, you need to work on your issues then. If you are that way now it will only get worse by your own thinking and actions. Have you just tried to talk to her like a mature rational man and maybe you two can work it out so she can understand your way of thinking and how you feel about it, and you can understand her and why she does it? That would be the only rational mature way of handling things, communication, honesty and trust, if you do not have that, you have nothing but an empty relationship that is doomed from the start.
 ohbiteme61
Joined: 9/5/2009
Msg: 357
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 10/11/2009 3:25:44 AM
I agree with Tarika completely. I appreciate the male opinion very much. Male friends tend to be more honest and open moreso than females. There is no "threat" there whatsoever. If I were ever to have a "significant other" again in my life, I'll accept his friends regardless and he should do the same with mine. My partner will be my top priority, but I won't give up my friends, regardless of their sex.
 ohbiteme61
Joined: 9/5/2009
Msg: 358
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 10/11/2009 3:27:08 AM
Now, I agree with you on this issue. If you've got a significant other, you don't need to expand your friendship circle with members of the opposite sex. Quit looking! You wrote: What business has a woman adding so many friends to her facebook friends list when she is already attached? I'll not respond to the idiot who told me to remove myself from the gene pool. If you're with someone you have no business adding complete strangers to your facebook account, end of story.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 359
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 10/11/2009 4:04:00 AM
As a guy I have both men and women friends. I can also say that some(both men and women) can take a position of wanting you to end friendships for thier sake. I had a girlfriend that attempted bad mouthing my friends in an attempt to shorten my leash(so to speak). It doesnt work regardless of men or women. It is an invasion of your personal rights as a human being and your supporting group of people in this walk of life. I realize she/he does this for selfish, self serving reasons which could be control issues, low self esteem, ect. I have cultivated good freinds, and have had them longer than anyother type of relationship. It is unreasonable for anyone to make a request to diminish this freindship.
 Stafford_Jim
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 360
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:38:49 AM
My EXs always had problems with my female friends, yet always had the excuse, 'that's different' when I asked about her male friends.

I don't disapprove of my SO having male friends, I only disapprove of inappropriate behavior with their male friends. A rule I have is if the other person in the relationship did this and it would upset you then it's wrong for you to do it also. The, 'that's different' excuse does not apply and it is NOT different.

One reason so many men and women disapprove of their SOs having opposite sex friends is that so many times something eventually does happen between. It might be a moment of weakness, vulnerability, or spite, but no matter what the excuse, it doesn't change the outcome.
 genuineman04
Joined: 10/12/2006
Msg: 361
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 2/15/2010 8:21:44 PM
A woman should not need other male friends in her life. If she wants to dat e guy, he should be her best friend anyway
 genuineman04
Joined: 10/12/2006
Msg: 362
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 2/15/2010 8:23:04 PM
Actually it's the woman's issue because she obviously needs male attention from multiple sources therefore she is insecure
 genuineman04
Joined: 10/12/2006
Msg: 363
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 2/15/2010 8:34:46 PM
Amen brother. I think it has to do with women liking to cause drama by having multiple men competing for her attention. Say a woman goes out for dinner and a movie with a guy she's romantically interested in, that's a date. If she goes out with a heterosexual male friend for dinner and a movie that's not a date? Wtf? Besides, why would I want to date a woman that can't get along with other women? Same goes with her ex boyfriends. Move on. Being friends with your ex is a barrier to new relationships
 CarpeOmnia
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 364
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 2/15/2010 9:02:25 PM
I agree with Serenity Sam. I have a handful of life-time friends(25+years)...that includes males and females. They have always been an important part of my life...and always will be. I make sure to introduce them to any SO of mine so that there is no surprises or secrecy about it. I also expect any SO of mine to have female friends from his life before me. As long as everything is above-board and open, I have never had a problem with it.
 das74
Joined: 1/21/2010
Msg: 365
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 2/15/2010 10:42:24 PM

Alright I have read many threads on this subject and find extremely interesting but I'm confused and wish to be enlighten, I have no intention in causing a flame just to be ENLIGHTEN OK, and you wish to red flag me go head.So what I have read is the majority of the women believe that it is perfectly fine to keep their male friends(not specified if they were single) the base reasons are to keep their male friends is that they were there for them in some kind of crises in their life and that women don't wish to give up that security just in case their relationship fails, But I believe if you Male friends are as good as you say they are they will be there for you whatever circumstance and understand some concerns of your partner, for that to be said also I don't understand why anyone would put friendship infront of your partner, the person you are suppose to care about, maybe someone can ENLIGHTEN me on that please.I recognise the fact that no one has the right to tell anyone who they can stop talking too, actually is unrealistic to except such an concept. I personally don't understand why it would be necessary to have male friends in the first place, my reasoning of have friends is having people to socialize with because you don't have a partner to spend time with isn't that fact or I could be wrong. I also reognize the trust issue but some people just can't handle certain situations and some times you just can't push it on them grant though there are degrees of trust and insecurities to keep in count of. Well I dunno.


This post sounds alot like a whole lot of insecurity..which is followed by counter-transferrence.
Women can maintain a male friendship so long as they have distinct boundaries. Meaning they have no chemistry with a man whom they are "friends" with. end of story.,Perhaps you are thinking with a male brain?
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 366
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 2/16/2010 6:02:40 AM
Some people have close friends of the opposite sex and intend to keep
them no matter what kind of relationship they get into and some
people drop their friends when they fall in love. People need to know
what type of person they are in a relationship with.

I do think that in general men tend to have close women friends that
they hope in the back of their minds will become more than friends.
After a couple of experiences with boyfriends who insisted on
keeping their one very close woman friend I would be leary of another guy
who had a very close female friend. It seems that the close woman
friend always at some point looms large as a wedge in the
relationship somehow.
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 367
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 2/16/2010 6:06:47 AM
i do not mind women having male friends. i wonder if women feel the same about men having male friends.
 Sobe82
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 368
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 2/16/2010 8:50:45 AM
I think there are two kinds of male/female platonic friend relationships. 1) where the two met based on attraction. Either he hit on her or she hit on him. This is how most start IMHO. One person goes for it(relationship) gets shot down and settles for friendship but wouldn't turn down more 2) where the two met neutrally with NO attraction on either persons part. Rare. Two kids that grew up next door to one another. A gay guy and a hetero girl. Just a couple of examples. The key is "no attraction" on either persons part.


I don't mind my girl having male male friends. But I do know that for the most part if the male friend had a shot at my girl he'd go for it in a heart beat. Why not! She's beautiful and great enough to be a friend, the only thing lacking would be the physical aspect. So I'm also very leery of fully committing to a woman that has plenty of testosterone around her all the time. There's little room for me. Usually these male friends tend to fall by the way side as soon as she starts to take the relationship between she and I seriously.

I'm very wary of women who would keep me (her love interest) and her guy friends separate. I'm very wary of women who act differently when we are alone and when we are in the presence of her guy friends. Many in my past would be into PDA when we're alone and in front of her girlfriends, but shy away in front of her guy friends.

So i'd never tell a woman who she can or cannot be friends with. But depending on their relationship it can impede the progress of our relationship.

It's interesting that many people's response is "he's being insecure". Lol. Well yeah. With reason. Any guy that's invested doesn't want to lose his girl. The best guy friend that's always there is a huge threat. Some guys are more prone to the insecurity than others. But it's up to the couple as a unit to confront the issue together. Women in my past however had alot of trouble being honest and truthful to myself and her guy friend. Sitting down both guys together and letting them both know what the boundaries are goes a long way, but few would be willing to do so for fear of not "having their cake and eating it too". Just my experience
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