| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/27/2007 9:21:21 PM | Glad to know there is more out there that trust there Gut feelings. Like they said if going to be married maybe I would of checked him out.Who knows she must of had something wrong to doubt him in the first Place...............Good Luck WITH YOUR NEXT ONE..........Sparkie | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/28/2007 8:33:06 PM | I wouldn't exactly knock you for setting him up because you may have had a suspicion that he could be talking and seeing other women. I know it sounds bad but it's better that you find out now than be with him for years and find out. I wouldn't recommend that a person should do this but what if you didn't do it and he met someone else from online?
Now you know what kind of person he is, but it probably would be best that you would communicate more with your partner in the next relationship. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/28/2007 8:40:10 PM | IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
It certainly is if you do not have the right to do so. Dating is a long ways from being exclusive.
I wouldn't exactly knock you for setting him up because you may have had a suspicion that he could be talking and seeing other women.
Well that is what a person does when they are still in the dating stage.
Now you know what kind of person he is,
No not really since she did not wait to see if he would have done the same in a exclusive dating relationship.
However she did show what kind of person that she is. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/28/2007 8:47:53 PM | me personally, i don't think that it's right to set anyone up to check them out. i think it's playing dirty, being immature, and down-right stupid. if someone checks up on someone else they might get the shock of a lifetime. it's like a phone call to someone you've been talking to. he tells you that he's single, no girlfriend, no wife, no one in his life...just talking to other girls. you and he are talking on line as well as on the phone. you called his cell (he told you that he keeps it in his truck while he's working) to tell him hello and hope he had a good day and for him to call you after work only to hear another woman on the other end. i wasn't checking up on him since we've never met in person so why should i. the girl on the other end though was shocked when she found out that i was talking to her boyfriend on line in here and on the phone. i didn't know that she was his girlfriend until she told me after she asked who i was.
was i being immature and checking up on him? no because of what he had told me as to where is phone is. i wasn't playing dirty by doing something that i didn't know, and i wasn't stupid either. she on the other hand felt rotten and was in tears after hearing about me and where he and i met at.
if you can't trust the person that you're with then there's not going to be any trust at all in the relationship. if a person feels that their partner is being dishonest, be the man or woman that you are and confront your partner, don't play games because you're both going to loose in the end. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/28/2007 9:14:47 PM | If you haven't defined the parameters of the relationship in terms of what you are to each other you have definately f***** things up. Trust comes from honesty and if you dont have that while acting as mature adults you dont even have a relationship, your just an aquaintance.
Thats' just how I see it... | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/28/2007 9:21:07 PM | | lol omg I did the same thing but I didnt show up to him when he went to the place lol then he tried denieing everything. Hun dump him like he was last weeks trash you dont need that ****in shit. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 3/3/2007 9:22:30 AM | | The way I see it, both of you aren't worth a second look. You both can't be trusted and should be black-balled. There are plenty of real, and honest people on POF. Don't plant the seed of miss trust. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 3/3/2007 9:28:28 AM | | You totally did the right thing setting him up...what a loser that he would do that to you, I say good for you. Now move on and don't look back..he doesn't derserve to have you. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 3/3/2007 9:38:48 AM | This may go against the general opinions, but i do not think you were wrong at all to do this.
Yes, it was 'sneaky' ... but it gave you the "answer" you were looking for. How else would you know for sure or not? It's not like a person will come out and say what they are up to, is it?
And, when you feel the need to "set him up" to find out for sure, obviously there is reason for your suspicions... | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 3/3/2007 11:51:43 AM |
I'm just not sure how those of you who have said "the OP had a ghost..." know this to be true? You can't really know if anything you read here in the PoF forums is true or not. You need to read between the lines sometimes to get the real scenario. Like did you notice that there are posts in this thread from three different "Angel" profiles, each of which have been deleted??? I don't recall the geographic location or demographics about the OP, but another poster noted that practically identical geographic location and age in two of the "Angel" profiles. Add 2+2 and you can see a ghost.
You all agreeing with the OP haven't really read the thread carefully. The OP was in the initial stages of dating, the relationship wasn't advanced to the point where one could cheat, the guy didn't lie; in this scenario it is really, really unfathomably wrong to weave such a web. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 3/3/2007 1:41:21 PM | | One thing I can't help but notice....you say he now acts like you did something wrong...so you're still together? Not sure why you would stay, or to be honest why he would stay. If you can't trust the person you're with, why would you be with them? And in this relationship it doesn't sound like there is any trust either direction. Just my thoughts :) | |
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ab_qt
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Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 241 | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 3/3/2007 5:44:55 PM | Wow... talk about trust issues.
Setting a guy up for a fall is a pretty poor showing... can't say I'd approve of anyone I know doing that. That said, if you were an exclusive couple, then him falling for it was wrong on his behalf as well.
Now... if you weren't exclusive or if he didn't realize you considered your relationship exlusive (and he didn't), then it's more of a grey issue. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 3/3/2007 6:21:11 PM | | Is it wrong?...You tell us! Look what happend...you were afraid you might loose him so you set him up...now you have lost him. Girl, I know you were just trying to protect your heart but how do you feel now? uh huh ...heartbroken. Just love like you've never been hurt, you can't protect your heart and love freely at the same time. Don't mistrust without reason, don't obsess. You will create what you dwell on. The power of attraction. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 3/3/2007 7:02:47 PM | he professed how trusting he was and would never cheat,So I decided to check him out .
You all Assume it was Just dating...and it think wrongly..I think they were dating exclusively...Why?????????
Who here has ever said " I would never cheat"'..when there was No Commitment?
I haven't...Have you? | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 3/3/2007 7:14:51 PM | You lied to him, plain and simple.
Gee I dunno. If somebody lied to me then I'd always be questioning whether they are going to lie to me again. In your case, you sound immature and very manipulative. Was the experience fun for you and did you enjoy the attention you got from it?
Yes it is wrong to set a man up but because your a women... we'll make an exception for you. Being a women is practically an excuse for anything in this day and age.
Don't expect anybody to take you seriously... coz I never would. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 3/3/2007 7:19:00 PM | Well judey I have seen it put right on the profiles that a person will never cheat.
As far as why we believe that it was a case of just dating the OP said nothing about it being a committed or exclusive relationship. The question was asked before she deleted her account and she never answered. There fore they were just dating. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 3/3/2007 8:00:28 PM | OP..... Trust is something you need to learn to Have & to Hold onto. A set up is exactly that... a set up! No one likes nor deserves it. Lack of trust leads to much bigger issues like jealousy, possessiveness, bitterness and more. Not cool and not worth telling people you have it.
True colors always show...eventually.
Honey | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 3/5/2007 1:55:17 PM | I'm sorry folks, for disagreeing with the posters that say its wrong to test someones honesty. we all do that in many many ways. Maybe not to the extent of cultivating a ghost person to entice someone we find we are falling for, but we all test potential partners in lots of ways. That is part of the way, a foundation of trust is built between two people. Nothing is a given and in this day and age of so much dishonesty and lack of morals and values.....one needs to protect themselves from people who are not what they say they are.....HONEST...
Statics say...90 % of men (and i'm only interested in the men) in marriages...will CHEAT, given the chance...Doesn't mean all men will cheat....just the majority. Having been there on the receiving end of cheating....You dang right I want to know the honesty, morals and values of someone I might fall in love with.....MY FUTURE DEPENDS ON KNOWING THAT.... | |
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