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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/11/2007 6:24:20 PM | When are you guys going to get a clue. There was no relationship, they had been on a few dates thats all.
She acted like a grade school kid. You can't talk to anyone else if you are talking or dating me.
Well guess what? That is what dating is for. To see if there is enough interest to pursue a relationship.
Even if there had been interest it was gone as soon as she pulled that stupid possessive stunt. | |
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jn347
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Joined: 9/12/2005
Msg: 178 | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/11/2007 7:31:51 PM | | Gee, call me naive but I'd past the test if someone with whom I was exclusive set me up... and not be upset. Trust is earned over time... I don't want to be with someone who says one thing and does another. Actions speak louder than words. I think some are being hard on the OP considering he did take the bait. Yes, I know the OP's actions may have been premature, but what does the outcome say about the guy? He was not trustworthy! Next... | |
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Sn0man
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Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 181 | |
| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/11/2007 11:00:52 PM | Your question makes me sick to my stomach. Not only is it immature; it's totally disgusting. If you're in a relationship with the guy - confront him. If you don't trust him - confront him. If you're suspicious - confront him. If you're insecure about your relationship - confront him.
Unless you were in a committed relationship with the guy - is it cheating? really?
Women who do what you do appal me.
Personally - I would never put myself in this position ... nevertheless - sick. Really, really sick. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/11/2007 11:09:05 PM | | I think in this day and age, the way things are on the internet, people who would never have thought of being players in the pre-internet era have found a new willingness to do so. The field, pond, pool, whatever is so large now that its easier for men and women to be 'playas' now. So, even though its sad that you had to go through the trouble...myself...I would have rather known the type of person I was really dealing with than becoming emotionally attached and then blaming myself for being so stupid as to not see the signs. Something he did or said must have given you question as to the type of person he could have been and by finding out, you saved yourself some pain. So, its sad you had to do that, but better you found out. There's a saying, "Fool me once, shame on you....fool me twice...shame on me". You prevented yourself from becoming a fool. Good for you. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/11/2007 11:14:18 PM | | Wow, sn0man, your attitude towards this girl is surprising. Ok, lets say you and the young lady who posted the original thread were dating. You are telling her to confront you if she has suspicions. So, she goes up to you and says...are you cheating on me? OK...a playa or cheater would more than likely say, "no". I mean give me a break. The cheater knows he/she shouldn't be cheating and they are going to up and admit cheating when the accuser has not proof? I saw your response and I said, "typical response that a player would give".Sheesh. | |
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Smjle
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Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 184 | |
| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/11/2007 11:36:01 PM | I think it's funny. He did the same thing you would do. All men and women claim that they will be faithful and true and maybe they mean at the time. Even if they don't mean it, they say it because it puts them in a favorable light.
However, all men and women, are receptive to someone better and will dump the one they have in a heartbeat if they can have someone better. | |
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Sn0man
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Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 185 | |
| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/11/2007 11:40:26 PM | Well airfors1 - first off you're assuming that i'm a player - which I am surely not. Secondly - the word assumption makes an ASS out of YOU, and umption.
Sure - a player would probably deny that he was cheating - but this girl was obviously not "DATING OR HAD ANY REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS PERSON" - If that had been the case my response would have been different. Totally different.
I saw your response and I thought "typical response that a sucker would give". Read your profile and confirmed it. Nice hey?
Don't judge lest ye be judged. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/12/2007 9:16:46 AM | Well the OP will never answer the salient question..so will never know but
I have never said " I would never cheat on you" to someone I was Merely dating.
so who the heck knows..
Maybe she deleted her ad cz she got tired of the whole online thing... | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/12/2007 9:29:48 AM | | If your only dating, yes it is wrong. If you are boyfriend/girlfriend, then heck...who the hell cares....better find out than waste your time with an idiot. But if you go to all the effort to set them up - you probably know they are an idiot already. I think if you have something special then the trust would be there. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/12/2007 9:30:19 AM | yes. it is wrong to set up a man to check him out. Especially if there was no talk about whether you were going to see each other exclusively or not.
This is a site where you meet people and go on dates etc. I'll admit to going on various dates. only met 2 and 1/2 (short story) people via POF... had more success on another site...
When I went on these dates...several of whom were repeaters...I was under no illusion that they were seeing me only...or even just talking to me only. One week I think I went on 7 dates...(and before I get hate mail...I usually split or paid for the date, etc) I cannot emphasize strongly enough how inportant it is to have the "talk" if you want to be sure you're the only person this person is seeing. Once they say "yes" you gotta trust them. And unless there is reason to suspect, such as mysterious phone calls, guy not calling, being busy all the time, lipstick on the collar, underwear, etc, there should be no reason to not believe what they're saying.
But then again, I guess I'm just a gullible fool. But I think I prefer being a gullible fool then to lose faith in the inherent goodness of the human concience. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/12/2007 11:10:59 AM | | Dude, I may call you dude, right? You are way too funny. First of all, who did the assuming. Did I ever say that 'you' were a 'playa'. You did the assuming there, not I. I have learned that those who jump too quickly too conclusions may have a skeleton or two in their closet. Thats neither here nor there. I'm glad you too the time to read my profile. Shows you don't have ADD...thats Attention Deficit Disorder. I agree that sucker is long, but if you made it through it...I will 'assume' there that you don't. I'd rather be a sucker, who learned not to fall for a 'playa' or cheater than be someone who can write what you wrote, but hey...thats me. Good grammar and punctuation though. I think your skin is a wee bit too thin there laddie. Oh, yeah, I don't need to bother reading you profile. That would creep me out. You're a dude man, something veeeerrrrryyy wrong with that. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/12/2007 11:18:44 AM | | Let me correct the typo before you say anything. I know the word is took. Amazing that I would have to do this, but anything to appease you. LOL Wouldn't want you judging me on my spelling after I kindly took the time to judge you on yours. Sheesh. The first typo is the word 'too'. It was supposed to be 'to'. The second one is the again the word 'too'. It was supposed to be took. It might be my early stages of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome acting up again. j/k. Anyway, you have yourself a nice day there fella. | |
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Sn0man
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Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 192 | |
| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/12/2007 2:15:16 PM | ^^Whoa, guess I hit a nerve or something...
Anyways - you missed the whole point of this thread. They had only been on a couple of dates, and to go and set the guy up after just a couple of meetings is downright bizarre and childish.
Later Boss. | |
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Nika
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Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 193 | |
| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/12/2007 9:29:21 PM | [That was then and this is now and we have ourselves a different Carrie. I have learned how it really works on here and how most play games, lie, cheat and mess with your emotions. Yes, men and women are both guilty of this so it is not a gender specific thing. I have been hurt one too many times. I now say that one does what they have to do. If you have a feeling in your gut that he is lying, cheating or messing around with your feelings, go ahead and set him up. If he is mad, too bad. We have to protect ourselves now. Good for you and sorry that he turned out to be like all the rest.]
I totally agree with you, and I also think that many of the people who were angry at the author of the thread would have done similar things, but pretend otherwise; and some other can imagine themselves in the place of this guy. I've been burned more than once, and it's much better to learn this crap earlier and get rid of this 'honest' person. | |
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Nika
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Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 194 | |
| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/12/2007 9:32:25 PM | [Your question makes me sick to my stomach. Not only is it immature; it's totally disgusting. If you're in a relationship with the guy - confront him. If you don't trust him - confront him. If you're suspicious - confront him. If you're insecure about your relationship - confront him.]
Neah. Confronting doesn't work in most cases. Not in my case, anyway. He had the most honest look. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/13/2007 8:45:58 AM |
many of the people who were angry at the author of the thread would have done similar things, but pretend otherwise; and some other can imagine themselves in the place of this guy. I've been burned more than once, and it's much better to learn this crap earlier and get rid of this 'honest' person. often when one knows their argument is weak and their position tenuous, they shift focus onto an irrelevant and/or illogical distracting point. politicians do this all the time when they won't answer a question from the media.
btw i'm not angry at the OP, i don't know the OP, how can you be angry at someone who hasn't touched your life?
sure it's bad that some people get burned with internet dating. in the OP's case, it was the GUY who got burned, not the OP. they had no formal "talk", how could he be "cheating" if they were not exclusive? he was not asked "are you dating anyone else?" so when he said "he is trusting and never would cheat", he didn't lie, and he didn't "cheat" on the OP.
amazing how people can't understand the scenario--YOU CANNOT LOSE WHAT YOU NEVER HAD. the OP never had an exclusive relationship to lose! | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/13/2007 9:44:32 AM | Every time I read this, I think it means to say you'll meet someone in person and then watch him from a distance to see if you like him. Then I open the thread and see it means nothing close to that.
If you feel you have to do all that to be sure someone you're dating or talking to won't talk to or chase someone else, it's more of a trust issue, and you'll never be happy without trust. If you're paranoid over a past relationship, get some closure on an old situation and move on. If the person you're with has been unfaithful or dishonest before and caused you to lose trust, you'll have a hard time building trust back up. It may never happen. Live with that or find someone new. | |
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Smjle
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Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 198 | |
| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/13/2007 10:10:57 AM | It's no big deal. It is not you saved someone's life or conversely killed someone.
You will get dozens of different opinions on anything you do. They are neither right nor wrong. Or, what is right for one person is not right for another. If you had asked me and that was what you wanted to do I would have suggested that you set him up to find out but then just let him believe he was stood up rather than meet him there. However, that is just one opinion and there are a dozen others just as good. | |
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| IS IT WRONG TO SET A MAN UP TO CHECK HIM OUT??
Posted: 2/13/2007 10:14:47 AM | | True you know the truth, but at what cost. You now sound like a mental case, stalker. Isn't the common thread on this site "tired of playing games"? You just ran a little sting operation and in doing so have become what you hate the most. | |
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