| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 1/31/2007 2:39:56 PM | It is tough. I"m 37 and moved back home help my 76 year old mother. She fell down and is having trouble walking. Now I think I'm doing a good thing but holey moley the flack I"m getting. Feels like I should just not even try dating until I move out on my own again which I will do in the summer. People are way too quick to judge!
brian | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 1/31/2007 7:02:17 PM | It is not that the guy lives at home, that would not bother me at all. It is more why he lives at home.
Obviously like yourself, being a student is a good reason to stay at home, to focus on your studies rather than the bills and chores. I know guys that moved back home after moving out, and I would encourage them, because unless they have a girlfriend there is no reason to have their own place. It is good to experience living on your own, but it is not necessary to be on your own unless your parents cramp your social life.
If your relationship with your parents is amicable then why not stay at home? Parents will not be around forever, enjoy their presence, and learn from them while you can.
To me, it does not mean a guy has no money. In fact, in most cases it means they are saving money so they can buy their own place one day, rather than rent for the rest of their lives. | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 1/31/2007 8:15:22 PM |  ^^^^^^^^
Bingo. I'm 24, graduated from college almost exactly a year ago, and kind of live at home (same property, different building). Why?
1. Real estate prices in LA. For those of you in the area, you understand my pain.
2. I get along with my dad well, and he understands that I'll only be home to sleep probably half the time during any given week.
3. The house is relatively close to work.
4. No long term girlfriend.
4. Given the above, it seems counterproductive for me to move out.
Would I move if any of those changed? Likely. Until then? Honestly, I don't see why. | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 2/21/2007 11:30:50 AM | | Well, honestly I would like to know the reasons behind him living at home and would look at it that way. I would also want to know if he was paying his own way...paying some rent, helping with bills, buying his own food. If he was, then it wouldn't bother me. But if it was a case of 'oh well, ya know I quit my job for no good reason (or dropped out of college, etc) 6 months ago and haven't gotten around to getting another job yet" then yeah, I think I would have an issue with that. But as long as he wasn't free loading off of his parents, then that's fine. Economically, it makes sense that single people live at home with their parents past the age of 18 (again, as long as they are paying their own way)...it provides oppurtunity to save money for the future, not get in debt at an early age, etc. Like I said, it would depend on the reason and also what he was doing to better himself while living with his parents. | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 2/21/2007 4:51:27 PM | I am a very independent girl and have tried to date guys that live at home but (from my experience) ... well, here is one example of a guy I dated and he told me before we met that he lived at home with his elderly parents but only to help out...I was open to that so we met, felt some chemistry and started dating even though we lived 1.5 hours apart...
One week day evening on the phone (around 10:30pm), his dad walked in his room and said, "Son it is late and you have to work tomorrow. Maybe you should get off the phone and get some sleep." I couldn't believe my ears. I asked him if his Dad just told him to go to bed. He said, "No no not at all." Needless to say the conversation ended soon after that - by chance I am sure.
Then he stayed at my house one weekend. His mom made him bring a sleeping bag and he unrolled it just incase she booby-trapped it to see if he actually used it. My dear GAWD...the man/boy was 33 years old!
During our conversations, he asked me if I was a hard worker because that is what he wants in a girl. I respond that I believe I am and asked him the same question. He emphatically said he was - only for me to find out that his mom packs his lunch (his sandwich toppings in separate tupperware containers), his dad does his laundry - oh and I can't forget, his dad also takes his dog out in the back yard every morning to pee (as Mr. Special didn't want to get his shoes wet from the morning dew).
I couldn't run away fast enough. That left such a bad impression, I have not been able to date anyone who still lives at home.
Is it possible that parents are too involved in their son's lives because they live at home? | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 2/21/2007 6:02:51 PM | | Personally I stayed at home until I was finsihed school and had a job. At 24 I moved out and when I went through a divorce I moved home for 6 months and then moved out. It really depends on the circumstances. If my kid was saving for a house and was employed and making good money the I see no problem with him staying at home. | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 2/21/2007 10:53:46 PM | | I agree with you here. I own a tattoo shop. The piercer is a 32 year old man. He lives with his parents. He got out on his own for 6 months, and while he was on his own, his mom came over to his apartment, cleaned it for him, and did his laundry. He still lives at home now, mommy still picks up after him, and does all his laundry. He can't get a girlfriend, partly because he weighs some 400 odd pounds and is only 5'6" tall, but also because he is a posessive superstalker whenever someone shows him a little interest. Living at home is one thing if necessary, but because you have no ambition is another thing altogether. For referrence, he shows up to work 2 to 3 hours late EVERY day, and leaves early every day too. His problem is the fact that he has never had to do for himself, therefore he has no responsibility at all. This is a bad situation to be in unless necessary. I am 36, and have lived on my own for years now. When younger, I moved home only for short periods of time as I had no other choices. The way I see it, if you're grown, then take care of yourself and don't make others take care of you. | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 2/24/2007 6:31:16 PM | | If it is an issue of independence, then you need to know more about the situation and the individual before you can pass judgement. But, women being women (well, a vast majority of them, maybe?) will immediately make a judgement. Perhaps, the parent(s) need financial assistance or it's for health reasons? In this day and age, many kids move back home for whatever reason. If the economy would ever collapse, this probably wouldn't be much of an issue. But, so many girls have it in their heads to make a hasty judgement rather than learn about the individual/guy. Too bad. | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 2/26/2007 6:24:59 PM | | I am in a place that with my mother pasting away from cancer all most five years ago. And my dad having Alzheimers I realy think I did a good thing moving back with him. I know he still misses my mom, and saying at home all alone is not good. There are some good thing to say about still or moving back in with your parents. But not going to collage is one. There is a lot of people that move away to collage to another state get a job and pay there way even with a room mate. | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 2/26/2007 9:39:26 PM | I would never date a guy at 30+ who lives at home. Even 25 0r 28 is too long to be at home.
Get your shit together and move out! It's so unattractive to have to wait for your parents to leave so she can come to your place and get busy...come on! GROW UP! | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 9/3/2007 10:24:56 PM | | You can be independent and grown up and live in your parents house. I live with my parents but I pay rent, car insurance, gas and have to budget it. I make grownup decisions. Just because you live with your parents does not mean you are not grown up or independent | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 9/4/2007 5:56:36 AM | I totally agree with you buddy.
I would also like to state that it depends on the culture. I stayed with my parents till I was 23 and the reason I left home was because I have come for studies here to germany, or I would still have lived with them. In eastern culture, its not so common and especially considering family background, you just cant say im 23, I have to leave home now, everyone will laugh at you.
I think there is something special about people living with their parents by choice, they are usually warm and emotional and very sensitive and I like those qualities.
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 9/4/2007 9:06:16 AM | Depends on the man, his age, and his situation. Every one is going to be different.
I've been on my own since I was a teenager, so I have a preference for men who have their own residences. I've also met a lot of guys who are far too tied to their mother's apron strings..not a generalization, just true of some I've met. Mostly they expect a woman to take over where mom leaves off. I have a child, don't need another. Seeing a man who can look after himself in all areas is a big turn on.
Taking care of ones parents in their elder years is not "living at home", it's caretaking. | |
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locnar
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Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 40 | |
| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 9/4/2007 9:25:21 AM | | Yeah I had to move back home with my parents. I lost my job, went on EI and now working for some job that pays chump change so its a slow process for me saving up money. I know the stigma attached to this so not really looking for someone right now till I can get my ass out again. I do pay rent here and buy my own food, do my own laundry and still help my parents out with chores. But I miss having my own place and being on my own. If I wanted I could move out right now but that would be in this forsaken city I live in which I hate with a passion. So I am waiting till I have enough to leave here so there you go, my reasons in a nutshell. | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 9/8/2007 7:46:09 AM | In some cultures it's normal for the kids to move out when they are at a relatively young age, and other to move out when they are preety much married. My culture for example, most kids only ever move out if they are going to school in another city or get married. Just because we live as a family under the same house doesn't mean we are mooches. Family is the closest people you'll ever have. and when you have a good one why move away from it. Also it's not like I or the rest of the family members doesn't work and contribute to the household. Everybody is independent, has their own spending money, and contributes to the house needs. eg groceries, bills, so on.
If the biggest problem with someone living at home is the so called "privacy" for the special sex times, I'm sorry but a hotel is easily accessible, and that is not reason enough to leave your house and family and live alone and spend double the money for rent, just so you can have "privacy".
whats the difference if you live in a house with family and if your living in someone elses house renting a room cause you can't afford the whole house, and share the damn place with 4-5 other room mates. Wheres the privacy there???
If someone has a problem with you living with family then they don't really have an idea of what it means to have a family and be close with them! | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 10/13/2007 5:27:29 PM | WOW! you guys only have horror stories? I mean none of you know any guys that have a basement they bothered to turn into a stylish porno themed studio?
Of course I am kidding. But indeed it's a bit of a stigma for guys who've finished university and have yet to get a job to actually be with their parents. Women, most if not all, dash at the sight of such a guy. It's like they have warts or something.
You might wanna bother asking why, however. Some have much younger siblings or pets, some have jobs that aren't paying well, or internships they're on. Some have one parent who lives too far for work and they have to take care of many things. Some are saving the money so they can get into the housing market. You do the math on an extra 75,000 in loans at 6% amortized over 15 years.
In the average case scenario, if a guy moves home at the age of 24 and has a job paying 50k of which he saves 25k after taxes and expenses at home, he'll have a 100G at the age of 28. And if he's making 60K, that's 140G.
Now say he puts away the extra 10K per year in RSP/401(k) as 7K (Mutual funds, stocks, ETFs at 15%) and 3K (as risky options), you're easily looking at 160K by the time he's 28.
Now how long does it take to pay off a 140K house loan vs. a 250K house loan if he only saved up 50K - which he won't if he had moved out because of the diminished savings. That equation and figure work out for me, so call me a loser. I'll be a loser with a porfolio. | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 10/13/2007 6:50:49 PM | I'm 26 and I moved back home with my parents so I could finish my college up. I don't have a problem with it and nobody I know does either.
OP, don't worry about it, you'll find a girl who doesn't mind, just keep on fishing! | |
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jdb57
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Joined: 6/20/2007
Msg: 44 | |
| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 10/13/2007 7:14:04 PM | I know what you mean. I am 25 and had planned to live with my parents only until I finished my Bachelors degree. Well, I got the degree...a year and a half ago!!! I am still with my parents. It is driving me nuts. I pay for my own groceries, do my own laundry, and pay the electric bill and split the internet bill. So I do chip in. I have a few thousand in my bank account to, so it is just a matter of finding where to move to...unfortunately far away in order to get a job in my field.
I am considering Vancouver because I hear it is very beautiful up there.
My advice to you, though, is not to worry about it. I share my same feelings with guys my age at my work who live in their own home and they tell me I am very smart because they are in a lot of debt and have to work two jobs to make ends meet. If a girl denies you a date then they are either immature or do not have the experience to understand what it is like to be in a lot of debt. | |
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jdb57
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Joined: 6/20/2007
Msg: 45 | |
| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 10/13/2007 7:20:44 PM | MischievouslyPlayful: Is it possible that parents are too involved in their son's lives because they live at home?
Oh my God, is it ever possible! I had a few problems here and there with my mom treating me like I was still very dependent on her. I had the opportunity to move up to Chicago for a few months to stay with my uncle and she did not think I would survive up there where I would have to dish out a LOT more money to get by - but I did survive and when I came back home my mom was treating me like a little boy very much less.
Still, I am embarrassed to invite friends or a girl over. That will all change soon enough, though. | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 10/14/2007 2:30:17 AM | Lots of reasons, but I find it preferable that the parent(s) live with him rather than vice versa.
Since I happen to be moved home to take care of my (foster) mom with her husband just passed away, until she can sell her house and move to her children, I have a very clear understanding that dating is just plain impossible for me right now. Period. So how guys who have parents at home do it, I've no idea. | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 10/14/2007 3:01:36 AM | i was seeing a guy who lived at home he was 27, at first it completely put me off as i thought the lazy bugger just wants an easy life, but when i asked i found out he moved home so he could afford to continue fighting a custody battle for his daughter, and yes rent/housing prices are really high in some places so if there is a genuine reason i see no problem,
however if he just a lazy git who wants a free ride then im gone | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 10/14/2007 6:22:17 AM | People come as package deals when there are children or elderly parents in the picture. You would have to weigh up all of the information you get - not just one aspect.
If he was Mediterranean, Chinese,Indian or of a race with extended family - you would have to be sensitive to cultural expectations. What you may lose in privacy, you may gain by being part of a bigger troop! Family ties is always a thumbs up for me.
If I saw signs of him being treated like a little tin god on wheels? Mummy doing everything for him? Aaaah I'd be on my way.... | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 10/14/2007 8:50:08 AM | | GOOD DAY TO YOU ALL, I WANT TO MAKE A COMMENT TO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT SINGLE PEOPLE LIVING WITH THEIR PARENTS, IF THEY, YOUR PARENTS NEED THE HELP, WHICH I'M IN WITH OUR PLACE ..MOTHER NEEDS MY HELP... BECAUSE, OF HER HEALTH AND FINANCIALLY, AND THERE NO ONE TO ASSIST HER ON MY FAMILY SIDE, YOUR RIGHT MY FRIEND, IF THE OTHER SEXES CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT CONCEPT, THAT YOUR THERE TO HELP OUT FAMILY, THEN THERE THE LOSERS I THINK... YES... THANKS FOR YOUR TIME ..INDY 46 | |
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| Single men still living with parents
Posted: 6/9/2008 2:49:13 PM | | I respect a man who lives with his parents and takes care of one or both of them. It makes me respect him, even more. I would never refuse to date or be friends with someone who shared residences with their parents. Everyone has their reasons and since Im not looking for his money or to move in ....I could care less what his living situation is..as long as he is happy. | |
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