| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 2/3/2007 7:01:14 AM | Not sure about the wording - ability to make a connection - but do think 'likelihood' is more true. Also is it a phase?, some people go through phases of promiscuity, where they don't want a relationship - not so much they aren't able to have one. If it's a lifestyle choice long term then maybe so, but as a rule of thumb I'd have to say don't really agree. I have known quite a few men who have tarted around as youngsters and have then found their love and that's been them settled for life.
Anyway aren't we told that a man doesn't necesarily have to care for the women to want to have sex with them? so it's just a bodily function. If they 'made love' to everyone and then left then that would be a whole new ball game, but just because they tart around being said that they are effectively autistic - no don't agree. | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 2/3/2007 7:17:24 AM | I'm not sure if having sex with different people in order to verify if a connection is there would be considered promiscuous but if it is then many would qualify. By different people I mean having sex as a way to see if the other person is really into you.
When searching for a partner some people stretch the dating ritual (aka. going slow) to the point where time passes and nothing is resolved. I was always of the mindset that when seeking a long term relationship one actively pursues it.
Far too often, in my opinion, people choose partners for what they have or for their likes/dislikes. They do not “connect” with the person. They connect with the activity or point of view the person holds. Needless to say when those things change, as they inevitably do because people change, the relationship fails.
In my view a romantic partner/relationship is like a family relationship. We love our parents and siblings regardless of what activity or point of view they hold. We love the person. I feel people who may be perceived as promiscuous (dating, having sex, dropping the partner…dating, having sex, dropping the partner..)are those who are searching for the right partner and when the right person comes along they stop searching.
It is no different than someone who continually dates and claim they haven’t found the right one. We do not say there is something wrong with them because they insist on having a steady stream of dinner partners or can’t settle with one person with whom to watch movies. That is their way of finding out if the person is the right one. Those who depend on sex to determine if the person is the right one go on their gut feeling or deep intuition. While we may take into consideration how a person addresses the waiter when dining out or if they know the difference between a salad fork and a dessert fork how does that compare to discovering the deep, soul-rousing feeling intimacy should produce? | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 2/4/2007 7:51:48 PM | | From your profile it sounds as if you have an 'open' type of relationship with the woman you live with. You are seeking a daytime partner because you already have a nighttime 'bedbuddy'? If so, you are the type of guy that helps make the world just as sick as it is. So, it's okay to screw around because you are just looking for the right cow to buy...rationalize to justify...yep...THAT's the way to go... | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 2/4/2007 8:04:50 PM |
I heard of a study done that claimed the more promiscuous a man is the less ability he has to connect and stay intimate with one partner.
No $hit... really?? lol The definition of promiscuous means that they are hopping out of the beds of different people all the time -- by definition they wouldn't want to stay intimate with one person, if their way of life is going for mutiples. | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 2/4/2007 10:02:05 PM | What kind of connection are you looking for while you are having sex and not married? Are you REALLY that eagar to have memories of people you may wind up hating in the near future? Or that you techically just added a new name to your headboard? I sex really the car theory that people make it out to be? And if so, do you really like to think you are driver #32 who just test driven your current partner? Would you think your current partner would think REALLY that highly of you about the number of partners you have or have not been with? Personally I am more impressed by the vigins (older ones in their 20's and 30's) and those of us who have loved long enough to have matured beyond the foolish notion that sex is this casual thing that should be done because you THINK or FEEL this person is right for you and that if I don't test drive them, I may be getting a lemon. Are people really that blind to think sex with a person is something that is learned over time? Oh well.
However, I still believe, if you are going to stand by your guns, then EVERYONE else has the right to stand by their guns and to treat sex however they want to. Good luck. Watch out or STDs. | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 2/4/2007 10:37:58 PM | I think it's a load of rubbish. Ive been fairly promiscuous in my life but I've never had a problem with intimacy or connecting with one person. I just won't 'date' a girl unless I think the relationship will have legs.
I don't have a problem keeping it in my pants when with someone. | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 2/5/2007 4:45:47 PM | From Msg #30
Are you REALLY that eagar to have memories of people you may wind up hating in the near future?
To stay with the car metaphor, I've taken this idea for a test ride, but I can't buy it.
Why would I want to marry someone I may hate in the future? For that matter, why would I want to spend any time with someone I may hate in the future?
I need to make decisions based on what I know now. If I honestly believe a relationship will be long lasting, but later it turns out not to be, I don't want to go back and question the validity of those decisions. Now, I will go back and look at why I thought it had legs when it turned out not to, but if I believed at the time it had legs then I made the right decision based on current information.
I don't know about everyone else, but I have made terrible decisions that ended up being the "right" decision in hindsight. But I know in my heart I made the wrong decision based on what I knew, I just got lucky.
Similar to D-N-R, I have respect for people who own their decisions, be it abstinence till marriage or free love for everyone, especially when it goes against the mainstream, because I feel that shows character. Not everyone thinks the way I do, not everyone values the same things I do, so I do my best to keep my judgements to myself.
There are many times when all the good advice in the world doesn't equal finding out for yourself. If most who engaged in sex outside of marriage were dying in droves, then the problem would correct itself. Assuming it's true, so what if most people find casual sex unfulfilling; it's still their decision to make, their decision to learn from, and there will be some who do like it.
I am not pro-abstinence or pro-sex, I am pro-(Think about what you are doing, learn the facts and make the decision that's best for you, and stand by it)
--Bob | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 2/28/2007 9:06:19 AM | So..(post #25) are you saying that ALL scorpio men are a**holes??? That because they're a scorpio they can't control themselves? Are they ALL just mongrel-minded rutting 'studs'? Free will, decency or at the very least... self-preservation have to factor in SOMEWHERE... no matter what the zodiac sign is or says!! I'm sure that there are plenty of men (who are 'dogs' with women) who lay claim to ALL the different signs of the zodiac out there! There MAY, however, be an element of truth to your comment...I'll have to date another one to be sure | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 2/28/2007 9:12:20 AM | | my deep thought in this?hmmm,depends how drunk you are!lol | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 2/28/2007 11:12:55 AM | i dont think people are incapable of change....many are...
some people (men and women) create patterns of how they realate to the opposite sex...and those can really be hard to break...wether its being promiscuous or emotionally unavailable or whatever.
However i have a number of male friends who were very "promiscuous"..but they changed...in some cases...they simply matured, in other cases they were burned and that changed thier view and in another case..well he really hasnt changed. In my experience something either internal or external must happen to have them change thier outlook on things....
I dont think that "being promiscuous" makes it impossible to form an intimate relationship...but it does mean that they probally dont have a lot of practice at creating emotional intimacy...but then even those of us who have had more LTR's than "random copulations" dont find love in every relationship so there really isnt much of a guarantee of anything. | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 2/28/2007 1:59:20 PM | People (as I don't think this is a gender issue) are usually promiscuous BECAUSE they are generally at a place in their lives when they don't want emotional intimacy or are, by nature, incapable of experiencing or creating intimacy on an emotional level.
Promiscuous people don't make for good relationships. | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 2/28/2007 2:20:17 PM | | I'm going to have to take a stab at this one. I have actually researched it a bit as I am the most promiscuous person I know. One thing that I have found to be somewhat consistent, is astrological signs. I'm not talking today you will influence poeple and get a raise kind of astrology, but in character description. If you have ever been to www.astro.com and punched in your stats, you will find it can be horrifyingly accurate, to the point where i didn't show anyone my readout because there were a few things I didn't want people to know about me. But, staying focused, I did find that the Piscean nature lends itself very easy to promiscuity. However, it's different in the sense that I, and others of my sign, are truly in love with the person I(we) are with for that period of time, whether it be for 1 night or 1 year. As for having commitment problems, I can't speak for others with a promiscuous nature, but when I am with someone, for whatever time frame, I am with them 100%. And I have never cheated. I've done the five year haul, it had benefits and it had drawbacks, good times and bad. But, between relationships I'm a slut. An honest one, mind you, but still a slut. I DO try to avoid love at all costs, and hold a somewhat pessimistic attitude toward it, but when it happens... I embrace it. I have an affinity and a thirst for women, and if I am in a relationship, it will not go well if the other party is given to jealousy. And, in turn, however much I love my mate, I am not jealous either. I can go on about this for days, so I better cut this off. | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 2/28/2007 3:25:14 PM | | the same applies to women thats for sure once a alley cat always a alleycat | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 2/28/2007 5:04:42 PM |
the more promiscuous a man is the less ability he has to connect and stay intimate with one partner.
Or is it the other way around?
I.e: the less ability one has to connect and stay intimate with a partner, the more "promiscuous" he/she is?
But, for the sake of discussion, what happens when one has the "ability" to connect and stay intimate with more than one partners at the same time? Should this someone "waste" this hyper-"ability"?  | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 2/28/2007 11:42:31 PM | | wouldn't that be a good thing? Then again, how can he be promiscuous with only one partner???? | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 3/1/2007 2:41:09 PM | missmyablue writes in msg 28,
From your profile it sounds as if you have an 'open' type of relationship with the woman you live with. You are seeking a daytime partner because you already have a nighttime 'bedbuddy'? If so, you are the type of guy that helps make the world just as sick as it is. So, it's okay to screw around because you are just looking for the right cow to buy...rationalize to justify...yep...THAT's the way to go...
Open relationship? There is nothing in my profile that suggests I’m looking for a sex partner. Unfortunately, the world sickness is people thinking everyone is seeking only sex.
I’m seeking someone with whom to enjoy daytime activities and you’ll notice I specify a few. Something I’ve noticed is people usually suspect others of doing what they do. It’s on their mind. That’s the sickness. | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 3/1/2007 8:22:25 PM | I donno, there was another study that showed the more promiscuous the male, the more attractive he became to females (something about a pheromone shift or somesuch). Of course, this required the females to not know he was promiscuous. But, there was something subtle that increased his desireability.
In my case, I don't stay intimate with only one partner, but I don't lose interest in any of them either. They're all special to me, and my wife is the center of my circles. | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 3/1/2007 8:24:07 PM | | yes captainbaudy and the more he can get a disease too think about it stunato | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 3/1/2007 8:25:06 PM | | I have to agree and say it is the same for woman. I do look at my partners history before getting too involved. I have refused a date from a man because I knew he was a man whore :). | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 3/2/2007 2:57:12 AM | | i think there is nothing wrong with men being promiscuous. it helps us find the best girl to suit our needs. | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 3/2/2007 3:07:12 AM | Well here's the short and the long of it boys and girls....Uh, Yea, it is true that promiscuity breads discontent. And even more so when you start it at a young age. So all the kids that have a list in there back pockets my advise to you is to throw it away because you ll suffer for it later if you try to burn that candle at both ends. And you old horney goats that cant hold a relationship? Uh good luck! Well there ya go! another scientific answer to an age old problem that seems to continue and baffle the lil fishes.....  | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 3/2/2007 5:18:49 AM | | I believe that being promiscuous has its roots in narcissistic behaviour/personalities!! It's a way of getting egos stroked frequently at the expense of others!! So chances of staying with one partner is not considered!!! | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 3/2/2007 7:16:55 AM | Johnny Johnny Johnny
Unbelievable | |
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| Promiscuous Men
Posted: 3/2/2007 7:29:38 AM | Oh c'mon! In their defence, I have to say that some men and some women like the other sex (and sex) so much that they prefer to wander like Ulysseses or a venturer/explorer and explore the beautiful variety of people in the opposite sex. Life is a journey, for them. In line with that general philosophy, they also formulate their sexual antics.
That does not mean they do not respect all members of the opposite sex or that they are "players", merely they are "explorers".
Some love women so much that they cannot focus only on one for life.
Calling them promiscuous or explain their exploratory vein as narcissism rooted is plein unfair and unfounded!! <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> Are all explorers of life "narcissists". If anything, the opposite!
PS. Narkisos spent the whole day looking at his image in the pond water! Explorers do not do that! If anything, the exaxt opposite! They look at and admire and enjoy liaising with the members of the other sex! | |
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