| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/1/2007 3:53:25 PM | I will go along with the advice to not keep calling him.
That makes you look desperate and is a definite turn off.
You can allow yourself to send him ONE AND ONLY ONE e-mail appx 3 days after last contact.
Don't be accusing him of anything. Just comment on the good times you've had.
Don't ask for another date, but leave the option open. (thats a neat trick to pull off... but it can be done)
If he doesn't respond to that... it is over. | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/1/2007 3:55:20 PM | | I think you're right I did make things too easy. He didn't have to work too hard to get me into bed so I accept responsibility for that and it was a mistake not to at least wait a few weeks. | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/1/2007 4:03:31 PM | I would let the guy know that you now question the wisdom of agreeing to exclusivity so early on, and for your part, are rescinding that decision. AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY!
If he really wants to be with you (which I'm inclined to doubt)he will step up. But I think you have to trust that "gut feeling" you have, that this just isn't ringing true.
We could analyze this whole situation to death, but for him to cut back so markedly on communicationg with you makes me think he's lost interest for whatever reason. It wasn't meant to be,girl, get on with your life!
Cindy O | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/1/2007 4:12:59 PM | I'd say call it a day....
If a guy is really that interested he would call you or text you even if he only had one second to spare.
You would be the sunshine in his day ...I'd say move on you deserve someone who can't wait to talk to you. | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/1/2007 4:28:50 PM | If your instinct is telling you other wise, please go with it.Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it to,,
Like some post said, Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free, | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/1/2007 4:32:22 PM | | your not being paranoid and not trying to keep a tight lease. You noticed that he's acting differently than he did when he was pursuing you and you want to know what is going on. He's keeping you in the dark by minimizing it and telling you that nothing is wrong on his end. It doesn't sound like he will ever have a meeting of the minds with you. You will have to decide what you need to do to stop this hurt. Be glad he's an hour away. | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/1/2007 4:59:27 PM | Hey, all:
It appears to me it is too early in the relationship to determine 'paranoid' or 'played'. Why don't you just relax and stop worrying for a week or so? Relationships do take time to develop, and some people require more time than others.
A person just above me here said that the best approach is to follow your instinct. That is probably the best advice of all. Since none of us know you or the man, you are the best judge on what to do. Follow your gut--if your gut tells you things are not going well, wait a bit and if things don't improve, split up, move on, life is short, blah, blah, blah. If after a few days things improve and your gut feels good with it, stick around.
Above all, you worry too much. You don't go pulling up a plant by the roots just after you plant it to see if it is growing, nor should you be so concerned about your relationship. Relax.
David
Messages done with sustainable energy, with Wind and Sun! | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/1/2007 5:08:34 PM | ya i would say its a little early to call it quits....but the one thing i would say is that if you were Spiderman.....well...
your "spidey senses" would be tingling.
While not calling or a drop off in messaging aint good ...its not the be all end all...
however I personally see the "i will call you tomorrow" and then not call is a very bad sign.
Not because they dont call...its more a strong indicator of two things: one ..to me this is a sign that there are the type to say one thing and do another...its really no big deal not to hear from someone...like if they say "talk to you later"...no time on that..."call you tomorrow" and dont ...hmm...not good.
And two: to me it kinda shows what level of priority you are at in thier world. Sure we all get busy and shit happens..so we dont always expect that people can do everything in a day...but...when they just stop calling or dont return youre calls...well..even though its pretty early to be reading much into this...i would say that....
"the spidey senses are tingling"...lol | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/1/2007 5:43:10 PM | OP: I would would give you this advice to follow ... it doesn't matter what you feel.. if a man is not chasing you down and letting you know in no uncertain terms he is interested. He's not interested.
Don't waste your prescious time and energy on someone that is not wasting their time and energy on you. That's just a futile waste of your life and emotions. Go find someone that does want to spend his time and energy on you. That's the one that's worth it!!!
Never second guess yourself and don't look back at those that don't think your worth it!!! | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/1/2007 6:46:19 PM | | YES. Give it up. He's a loser and you should be glad to know it now and not a year from now. | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/1/2007 7:09:31 PM | | Yes your being played. We are creatures of habbit, if the person is calling or tecting you alot and then it all of a sudden stops. theres usualy a good reason for it. Trust what you gut says .Move on. | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/1/2007 9:12:32 PM |
Why is it that although I'm being offered good sensible advice I keep thinking but should I really end it???
we've all been in situations where our instincts are telling us it's just not right.
That little voice you hear is called your 'gut instinct' and you should listen to it, it is rarly
wrong.
This guy has had what he wanted from you, and is now keeping you on hold as a safety net. Next time he feels frisky, your phone will be ringing non stop. Bottom line? He's a player, and your his instrument.
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/1/2007 9:23:38 PM | I wouldn't say you're being played exactly, but I also wouldn't say you and your feeling are at the top of his list. Yeah, we all get busy. So what. Nothing say it better than the song "When A Man Loves A Women." Ok, I know it may be a little early to call it love. But at the same time. When a guy even is really into a women you can be she knows about it.
So yes, we do get busy in our lives, but when we are really thinking about someone and that someone means something to us. We always find time to give a call and let them know that.
PS, Sorry, but try and find someone a little closer. Yes, long distance relationships can work, but it's more difficult and unless the two people in question truly fall for one another, they just don't work out. | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/1/2007 9:38:22 PM | | the thrill of the initial meet is probably gone and now he's having buyers remorse. He probably does not want to hurt your feelings. I don't think he's trying to play you for anything. He's just taking the easy way out. Regardless, love shouldn't make you feel like crap. Move on. You will find someone who will make you smile for more than only a month. He will respect your feelings. Definitely read/or listen to He's Just Not That Into You | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/1/2007 11:15:40 PM | Follow your gut instinct. If you think he is playing you, tell him that you feel this way. There is nothing worse than a miscommunication to ruin a perfectly good relationship. If he was feeling that way about you, wouldn't you want to know? Let him know your expectations and tell him that you were upset by his actions.
I don't understand why anyone would jump to a conclusion about ending a relationship without really letting it grow into something. | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/2/2007 1:02:17 AM |
Why is it that although I'm being offered good sensible advice I keep thinking but should I really end it??? Go with that thought. Being with someone and having feelings for them is not much to do with logical argument, it's to do with your heart and if that's telling you "no" then listen to it. Basically, it doesn't matter if his behaviour over phoning is normal or reasonable or not, it's how it makes you feel that matters., you shouldn't even try to logic that away. Take longer to get to know a person next time and don't bother with one that doesn't care how you feel. | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/2/2007 1:35:20 AM | | Don't call him. I went through something similar. I believe alot of people have. The best thing you can do is keep busy. Let him work out for himself what he needs to. If it is meant to be he will come to you. You calling him won't help matters. It will just keep you wondering even if he does say everything is okay. If you wait for him to call you, you will know he called you because he wanted to. | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/2/2007 1:38:02 AM | Personally, I think you're being played...much as my ex did to me. While I was at work, she began running around with a "gentleman" while I was working. She began withdrawing more and more, spent all her time on the phone with "friends" when I got home from work, went to the lake every other day with him, again while I was at work, then went around telling all and sundry that I "didn't pay enough attention to her." Umm...What?
Anyway, his actions speak much louder than words, and as some others have posted, maybe he's just not as into you as you are to him. As for the sleeping together part, without making any judgements, both of you need to know where you stand on that before proceeding. If both are just into a casual relationship, no more expectations than having a good time in bed, fine. But if one or the other has more expectations, then problems like this can occur. It seems you are more serious about a relationship than him. He may have not communicated to you what his attentions were, that is, does he sleep with every woman he sees, or was he also expecting more than a casual relationship? It seems like a communication issue to me. Both people in a relationship need to be able to express to the other what their expectations are. Maybe to him you were just a booty call. Maybe he felt a little overwhelmed with a relationship progressing faster than he wanted. The problem is he doesn't seem willing to tell you what is going on. With the decreasing phone and text messages, it seems he is trying to let you down easy. It's been done to me by other girlfriends in my high school days. What does this say for his maturity level?
For myself, I'd call it a day. | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/2/2007 3:25:55 AM | Sounds like he's got you hooked .
Maybe he is relaxing now from the intensity of the affair and is taking things a little slower .
I hate using the phone as i'm on it with my business all the time ..Although I will chat on the phone for hours in the beginning .I will make it clear that i'm not a phone person ,more face to face ..Intense starts to relationships take up alot of personal time as your investing in that person ..As time goes on and you get to know each other each can relax and return to some normality ..
If you had arranged to meet and he cancelled then worry .If he's negative with you then worry .If his pals need his attention don't worry .
Don't sit at the end of the phone wasting your own time ,waiting for him to ring ..You have a life to be getting on with as well ..If it fades to nothing with him at least you won't crash to severely .. | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/2/2007 4:25:54 AM | | Well i thik you should ask him and be upfront ,,sounds to me like he doesnt want anything serious with you but rather then guessing ask him ,, | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/2/2007 6:11:11 AM | | Call it a day... been there... done that.... if he's that interested, he'll contact you.... | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/2/2007 6:29:58 AM | I say you may be or you may not be. I guess this question is ultimately for you to decide. You are in the situation, you are the one experiencing it. I doubt we can shed any claer light on what is happening.
That being said I will now dispense advice. LOL
I say take it easy but be prepared to move on. See if you can find the reason for his decrease in communication but, and this is very important, in no way be confrontational about it. If your are he will definitely think you want him on a leash. Most guys I know would not only respond badly to that they would leave skid marks from running so fast.
I guess you have to start preparing yourself for the fact that in his mind it just hasn't been working out and he's trying to distance himself gently from you.Some guys do that rather than have a big emotional event. This may not be anything you've done or any part of your personality sometimes people just don't "click". You also have to be prepared to accept that his life has just been intruding on his time to spend with you or his time to contact you. If you saw him online keep in mind he may be doing it at work or some other place where he couldn't use a phone. It's only been a month so I say go with the flow but be mentally prepared to jump off the boat. | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/2/2007 6:44:40 AM |  .....it sounds like you guys are assuming he stopped calling after they've had sex. Is this true iron monkey? Without knowing both sides of the conversation or his ulterior intentions, it’s impossible to judge his actions or his abrupt lack of attention. All relationships go through different stages, it’s what keeps them growing stronger & stronger. You can’t smother each other, but if you suspect there’s more behind his excuses, then those famous words “he’s just not that into you” It happens unfortunately for no reason, a person moves on , I don’t like to think he played you, cause you are both adult. Unless he made false promises to you, to achieve his own goals. Only you know inside, follow your intuition, don’t smother him, until you have decided how ya feel, go about your life. Don’t focus too long on that shut door or you may miss the one passing your window.
The best revenge is to find happiness & fulfillment  | |
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| Am I being played????
Posted: 2/2/2007 7:51:04 AM | | I'm not sure you're being played, but it does sound like he's lost interest.Do you, as rule trust your instincts? If so, when the alarm bells ring..Listen! If you're not sure,then step off for a few days,see if he'll start calling you again.One thing is for sure, pestering him, will not be of any benefit. Internet dating is a dog, I've been doing it a while. There are to many people in the "pot" and the chances of a long term are slim.A lot of people(mostly men) on here are like kids in a sweet shop,and they've never had so much choice.Sad , but so very true. | |
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