| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/2/2007 11:41:15 AM |
There's nothing like being treated like a lady to make me think you're a man.
I've asked this on every thread like this one, and I have yet to get an answer...but I'll try again.
How is it 'being treated like a lady' if some guy buys a woman dinner. what is 'manly' or gentleman-like if the guy pays?
do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Depends on what she expects, what she wants, and what she is insist on. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/2/2007 11:55:37 AM | Asker pays. It is that simple.
If asker then turns around asks the askee to pay, that's wrong. You're asking them to take on a financial obligation that you initiated. They might then back out of the date right then or later due to their own financial situation ... or due to the fact that you're cheap or a sleaze that is essentially mooching off of them to have the date. They will then in the future have to assume you're going to ask to go "dutch" next time you ask them out and this means they have to think if they can afford that date with you. Do you really want their answer to going out with you to be decided on what is in their checkbook at the moment? And why cannot you (the asker) think of a date that you can afford? Heck, some of my best dates were picnics where we ate cold sandwiches and Country Time lemonade.
As for the askee offering to pay half, I don't find that attractive and do find it a bit offensive. I'm treating you. Now you want to deny my gift? Deny me the chance to do something nice for you? Are you afraid this somehow puts you in a power struggle situation? Don't want to be in debt to me? Even though it was I who asked you. Whenever a woman has asked to go "dutch", I tell her to ask me out next time and she can pay. Interestingly, the vast majority of women like this idea and do later ask me out. And, yes, they do pay for the entire date then. If after I say this and she continues to ask to go dutch, she has issues I have no desire to deal with and that's the last time I'll date her ... if I don't just call it off right then. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/2/2007 11:58:37 AM | Hi Beccamsa,
Other than dates.... I was asked out to diner by my X and her boyfriend -did some carpentry work for them and I was heading home for dinner which is an hour away. They asked they pay.....simple....no, I would offer to pay my own....but they, wouldn't let me....lol...
Dates with friends is not really a date if you know what I mean........but usually I will grab the tab...I might go for half....if they insist......I am very appreciative and respectful.....
If I asked a potential mate/partner out to dinner (I do not call it dating) lol...really.....I would take care of the bills......unless the lady did something extreme or impolite to pay her portion....probably would be the last dinner I would ask her out to unless I was stunned....:)))
If I was asked out to dinner by a potential mate/partner (like you say know each other) and she said she was going take care of it...no problem... Of course if the paying of the bill was dragged out......I would take care of it unless she brought up that she asked me out .....:)))...... of which, I would definitely let her take care of it....and thank her very much in my own special way.......:)
Does this make me feel less manly -hey, not much could make me feel less of a man...me real man...:)) Personally, I can be old fashioned and also modern too.....I believe a woman can be treated the way she wants to be treated...I have learned to respect this in a woman.....0:)
Interesting post.....hope this helps somewhat....
0:)
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LBP
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 29 | |
| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/2/2007 1:21:29 PM | How is it 'being treated like a lady' if some guy buys a woman dinner. what is 'manly' or gentleman-like if the guy pays?
Its not just about the paying of the dinner. Its him acting very respectful of me all evening and treating me a bit cherished. It puts me at ease and its much easier to reciprocate.
I think probably a lot of women have a sense of fairness in them. We aren't out for a free meal or to suck buddy dry. I know I personally just want to know he's willing to treat me with respect and go through a bit of effort to please me. It makes it feel more fair when I go through efforts to please him.
If you get in a situation where you are two people who enjoy pleasing each other, it can be a very wonderful experience. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/2/2007 1:36:17 PM | It would depend on how well off I was...if times were tight, I would appreciate it.
If I had money to spare, I would probably insist on paying.
On a related note--I think if it is a first date, and the girl decides she doesn't want to see the guy ever again, it is only right that she pay her half of the bill.
Otherwise, the guy wonders whether you get all your meals free this way. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/2/2007 1:55:35 PM | Honestly? When a woman offers to pay her own way, I think one of two things;
1) She doesn't like me, and is paying her way so I won't get any "funny ideas" about her "owing" me anything, or
2) It's a test to see how much I'll fight her over it, to see if I'm a cheapskate or not.
We fight you because it's been drilled into our heads from day one that if we "make" you pay, we'll never see you again. A gentleman always pays, full stop, end of story.
Last two women I dated regularly insisted on paying their own way. Even after we'd been going out for a while, and the question of interest had been answered, it still made me nervous. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/2/2007 2:24:18 PM | Ask your lawyer to sort it out with her lawyer before the date, get the contracts drawn up and then go have dinner!!
Good to see you again Steve HD this one always gets you out from under your rock doesnt it! | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/2/2007 2:37:20 PM | On a related note--I think if it is a first date, and the girl decides she doesn't want to see the guy ever again, it is only right that she pay her half of the bill.
Otherwise, the guy wonders whether you get all your meals free this way.
A pox on you and your house Smith.oh just kidding
. I asked someone to go to a wedding with me..We both found out we were better off as friends...should I have said "Ok,,that'll be $ >>>.00? The chicken wasn't free you know.
I say the asker pays. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/3/2007 7:29:23 AM | Oh *groan*, we're doing another round of this? ACU, what happened to your manatee?
My best offer is he gets to pay for the dates in the beginning. Later on I'm probably going to wind up paying for the house, his sports car, trips to Europe, and a lot of the other things. If he can't fork up for a few dinners, a couple of gifts without whinning I can probably live without him.
To this day, the bf picks up the dinner tabs. I get the weekends away, most of the vacations. Getting close to two years. I already own the house; no mortgage. So if he moves in some day he doesn't have to pay for it.
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/3/2007 7:55:27 AM | a little. you're mentally prepared to pick up the whole tab, sometimes you're relieved but most times you're thinking hmm, now I feel obliged to them.
it's not a big thing really, and it is considered polite. I hate arguing about the bill though and fi she does offer to pay I will have to protest, but meekly | |
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ddream
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Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 37 | |
| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/3/2007 9:22:55 AM | | I've got money so I don't mind if you offer half of the bill.. But in general i'm a guy so I wanna pay the bill, at least the first couple of times.. LOL.. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/3/2007 10:05:30 AM | Well I like to share the bills but if he wants to pay thats fine but he must let me take him out the next time. I ve never been comfortable with someone else paying for everything 50/50 is the best way to do everything.
Mistic | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/3/2007 11:13:03 AM | sure do.
I also like it when they pick up the entire tab.
After all..it is kinda funny thinking that she is taking ME out while her ex is paying her child support or alimoney | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/3/2007 11:32:44 AM | Offering to pay a portion is always appreciated and sometimes we'll accept it. Other times we want it to be our treat entirely. If the relationship lasts I absolutely would want her to pick up some of the expense for dates but for a first date I'd most likely want to pay the whole tab...
She making an offer is always a very good sign...... | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/3/2007 1:21:05 PM |
I do think a guy should pay for a date, esp. the first one, but I don't think it should be a turnoff either if she insists on going halvsies
I completely agree. I believe it should be the guy that pays on the first date at least, then afterward it can possibly be discussed. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/3/2007 2:07:58 PM | | I like it. One reason - there is no pressure that this is a 'date' especially when meeting online. Another reason - I am turned off by women that never offer to pay. If we go out 2 or 3 times and you don't offer to pay - I kind of take it as you want to be taken care of. I definitely want an independent woman. But I'll still open your door - even if you don't offer :) | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/3/2007 2:19:16 PM | Alex
Im thinking maybe if we get one of those pre prepared forms together, like a predate agreement, we could flog them on the net and make a fortune LOL
Oh no but then we would have all the angst of who pays for the predate contract!
Damn back to the drawing board
Oh and my aquatic mammal was banned as it wasn't a true likeness of me, apparently all sorts of guys can have pictures of really ugly monkeys (some are even dangling from trees) and apes ( oh sorry they are their pictures) but I cant have a Manatee, go figure!
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/3/2007 3:11:02 PM | | I like to go by asker pays like a few other people said, from what I saw. If it's my idea to do this or that, I feel it's my responsibility to provide the money for it. No different if it's someone else's idea for it. Paying half doesn't bother me at all, as long as it's discussed or offered. Expecting the other person to pay half, or even all, when it was all you in the first place, I don't like. So if I ask then I expect to be paying and won't expect the other person to pay anything, but if they offer it's nice and I won't refuse it, just like if someone else asked, I'd offer. It just feels unfair that one person is always expected to pay just because of their gender or some other superficial idea. That's for the first whatever, so it's not like all the time. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/3/2007 3:24:12 PM | Snowman, Wonka, Ultima and Alexandria: I love your answers. In a world where I don't have a clue, it is nice to have some guidance. I can pay for anything, (no am not Oprah... I work for a living) but I think that if someone asks you to go out with them, there has to be a plan. Asking someone to pay for something without an agreement is a little bit scary.
How about if your lady has an american express and they only take visa... Will you do half of the restaurant dishes with her too?
PS: I am so rusty with regards to dating that I felt reluctant opening this thread... (I thought it was about some new sexual trend) hehehe
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/3/2007 5:00:05 PM | Seriecita
Not a lot has changed you know, there still tend to be 2 types of guys
1. The ones that understand that if you ask a lady on a date, you treat her like a lady, not because it is expected but because it is right to do so, that will open doors, make sure of safe transport home not because a lady cannot do these things equally well, but because it is the right thing to do. Will be charming and engaging and interested and feel that they have enjoyed their time no matter what the outcome is. That understand that equality doesn't mean that you are a guy with a "slightly" different construct, but that it is about respect for the differences.
2. The others | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/3/2007 7:12:16 PM | OP - First of all, I applaud your willingness to pay on a first date. As a guy, I always pay on the first date, but appreciate it when the woman offers.
My advice to you however is to continue to offer to pay... however if they guy insists then let him pay. Nothing is worse on a first date than to create conflict where there need be none. Plus if you like him, you can always pick up the tab on the second date.
And if you want to go above and beyond the call of duty... it is extremely sexy when a woman not only offers to pay on the second date, but offers to *plan* it as well.  | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/3/2007 9:27:25 PM | Hun, why do you insist that all guys behave the same? Don't you feel insulted when the guy thinks all women should behave the same way and if they don't something is wrong?
Each person is an individual. Discuss your feelings about paying for the "date" and if your desire to pay your share angers the guy, then maybe you should rethink going out with him in the first place. | |
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| alexandria_gal
Posted: 2/3/2007 9:47:24 PM | alexandria_gal
I think this thread is redunant and you should prove that by finding the last one --all 45+ rediculous pages of it and copy / paste all the comments here. I refuse to post in this thread beyond this point...I just stopped by to say hey ... and encourage you to rip em apart here...personally I don't have time or inclination to convince a very relative number of cheap-assed morons politeness, as everyone knows it is the gentleman OR the person who invites the other out to be their guest responsibility to pay. (unless discussed prior to date)
i.e.: Call the girl out and ask her for a date, adding "I don't have money so can YOU pay for everything? or "I only have a little money, so can we go "dutch"/?
--Nothing wrong with that I imagine, --not my way, but I imagine if it works for you and you are comfortable with it, go right ahead. | |
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