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| alexandria_gal
Posted: 2/3/2007 11:13:09 PM | Personally:
I pay on the first date. I just consider it only gentlemanly, and it's something my parents instilled in me at a young age :).
I tend to also pay for friends a fair bit, and this doesn't bother me, as long as it's not chronic.
If a girl wants to offer to pay half, I'll generally refuse, unless it's not clear that it's a date. If we go for coffee, I'll generally insist on paying.
I also get irritated when my female friends (or dates) want to pay for me, even if I paid for them last time. There's something about it that bothers me, I dunno.
In any event, in the grand scheme of life, this is a relatively minor thing :p. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/4/2007 12:11:52 AM | I’m not cheap by no means, but I don’t understand why I own a woman who I don’t know a free meal, especially on a blind date.
I don’t give a crap what John Wayne did on his movies. John Wayne was an actor portraying a cowboy in the West in the days when there was only about one woman to about 500 men. Sure, in the West in those days, men had to kiss the woman’s ass to get a woman. But that was then and this is now! John Wayne is not my Role Model and I don’t have to go around trying to prove that I am a man every five minutes like some of these poor guys on this site feel that they have to.
I’m also smart enough to know that society has changed in the past 30 years. Back when most of these guys’ father told them that a man was suppose to pay for a woman’s meal on a date, women’s role in our society was being bear foot, pregnant and in the kitchen. Times have changed. I welcome women in the workplace, however, don’t tell me that I owe them a meal.
This is something that should be discussed prior to the date. Remember, dating is about getting to know the other person (unless you are one of those guys who are just on a date to get you know what). If a woman feels that I owe her a meal on the blind date, then I take it that she is looking for a man to support her in life and she is not for me. I these days in our society a man shouldn't have to support a woman just as a woman shouldn't have to support a man. Again, I don't have to continually prove that I am a man every five minutes because I came with all the parts and I ain't missing any.
This is my opinion and every guy has his own opinion.
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| alexandria_gal
Posted: 2/4/2007 12:19:14 AM | "Old school" rules dictated that the man pay. Not as many women worked then. My father raised me "old school"
Now things have changed. More women work now and even make more money than the men they date.. I have dated financially independant ones as well. My rule" If I ask you out...I pay. If you want to pay the tip...Well OK. BUT if you ask me out ...you pay. I'll get the tip. If you want to go Dutch just say so. Personally I think what matters is talking about it and agreeing on it.
There is a movement among the men to not pay anymore. I don't really want to get into it. But you will see by the posts that it is more common now for the woman to pay her way. If a man pays for everything does a woman feel she has to pay him back? Maybe some people use this to their advantage to get favors? | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/4/2007 3:10:55 AM | | Its no hassle really....if I went on a first date, I'd prob have it in my head that I was gonna pay, but if the woman insisted on paying half, thats no worries, not gonna have a rwo with her about it... wot an ending to the date that would be... ;-) | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/4/2007 3:20:14 AM | Ok, by default I am pretty much always willing to pay.
If the woman says "let me pay for this" or "let me pay for 1/2", I'll probably say "thats ok, I can afford it, its not a problem", but then if she insists on paying I'll back off and let her pay. Its not a big deal either way, not going to hurt my feelings, I just am old fashioned and think that its right for the guy to plan on paying, and offer to, unless she insists on paying her share (or the whole thing).
I don't find it "offensive" at all. I also don't expect it. But its not all about me, if she really feels like she wants to pay, I'll respect her desire to. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/4/2007 3:35:25 AM | It's a no-win situation!
Instilled in me at an early age is to treat a lady as just that, a lady. If someone has been kind enough to spend a meal with me then I like to show my appreciation by paying. It would say a lot about her if she were prepared to pay half, however.
If she insisted, there quickly comes a point where I get offended, assuming that either a) she feels I would expect something in return (I'm not like that at all), or b) she's very uncomfortable with an act of kindness.
By far the best way to deal with the issue is to agree that the next date is on her. And if there's to be no next date? Then there's really no point in thinking it through further!!
If it were 'expected' then I'd conclude that she wasn't interested in me, just my wallet. I don't buy the 'why should I buy dinner for a stranger' arguement - if you've spent a meal with a lady who you still consider a stranger, you owe her dinner for being such bad company!! | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/4/2007 4:26:20 AM | I guess I’m just thinking, but I don’t give a crap about the way it was two hundred years ago or even thirty-years ago.
“if you've spent a meal with a lady who you still consider a stranger, you owe her dinner for being such bad company!!”
I ask you, what if she was bad company? Do I still have to pay for the meal?
“Instilled in me at an early age is to treat a lady as just that, a lady.”
I agree that a lady should be treated as a lady. However, just because she is a lady, doesn’t mean that I owe her anything. Now if I was expecting sex, then I guess I would understand why a woman would expect to be compensated with a meal, but on a blind date, I, myself, do not expect sex. However, if we do have sex, I’m going to make sure that she enjoys the sex as much, if not more than I do. So, why do I have to still pay for her dinner? When I grew up, women were expected to serve the man. This has changed the the United States. Now if we were in Japan where I understand that women still serve the man, then it would be a different story.
“If someone has been kind enough to spend a meal with me then I like to show my appreciation by paying.”
Hay! Wait a second, I was kind enough to spend a meal with her. I ask you, why doesn’t she pay for my meal? Bedboogie, I’ll be kind enough to spend a meal with you if you will pay for it. Sure, I’ll take a free meal anytime.
Do men think so little of themselves that they have to give a woman money (buy them diamonds or dinner), to get them to spend time with them? I have respect for myself. Hell, several women use to call me and ask me to come over to have sex with them. I am one hell of a catch for any woman and I'm single because I choose to be.
If a woman feels that they need to be paid to be with me, then I don’t want to be with her.
Now, the problem is, women have been liberated, but guys haven’t. Most men are still thinking that life is the way it was 30 – 50 years ago and expecting life to be the same with out changing.
I’m for men’s Liberation!
Fathers should have just as much rights to get custody of their children as mothers have.
Men should not have to sign up for the draft if women don’t have to.
And men should not have to pay for a woman’s meal in exchange for sex or just to be with a woman. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/4/2007 4:30:13 AM | Dude, if you consider paying for dinner giving a woman money... well, let's just say we have different outlooks and leave it at that! I tend to think of it as giving money to the waiter to give to the restaurant owner.
Anyway, I was only suggesting a McD's! (JOKE!) | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/4/2007 8:26:20 AM | [No I hate it...If they pay half for dinner then how the hell am I to expect to get sex at the end of the night... totally out of the question...Dinner is on me, my treat...]
Oh thanks for the laugh for the day :0) I didn't think there were any men with that sort of outlook in life still around ... I thought men have 'grown up' then I looked at your profile and see that you are a young whipper snapper..... At least you are an honest creep.
~Karen De | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/4/2007 8:39:52 AM | OP: Yes, I do like it. A woman paying half indicates that we are on an equal footing. Anything that proceeds to happen from there will happen as equals that both want similar things, not as some sort of imbalanced and emotionally distorted transaction.
That said, when I am meeting women in Real Life (TM) that I have originally contacted on the 'net, I prefer a coffee or a drink, not a dinner and a play. The amount of money involved if I pick up the tab in no way constitutes an obligation on either party. That too is part of my philosophy of relationships being meeting of equals.
Many men have the opposite intent; creating an equity imbalance in order to get sex. They are usually the ones that chime in on the threads about 'paying for it one way or another'.
Cheers,
Mike (I prefer to sleep with women that desire me, not my wallet) | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/4/2007 12:15:38 PM | | In todays day and age, the woman paying some of the time is not a turn off, nor does it make me feel less manly or uncomfortable. The first date or two, it's not big deal and I believe in paying. I hate the sound of halfsies, I don't even ask my guy friends to pay half. But I do appreciate the next time we're out that they pick up the tab. A persons earnings also play into it. If I make 6 figures and I know she makes in the 30's, and I like her a lot, I'd insist paying a majority of the time. If we made somewhat equal salaries, alternating who pays is a perfectly reasonable thing, but both people paying part is just weird and does make me feel uncomfortable. Finally, it does bother me that some women, who earn a very good salary, don't think they should ever pay for anything when out with a man. That's not old fashioned, that's being selfish and self centered. Hope this helps answer the questions. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/4/2007 12:15:51 PM | | In todays day and age, the woman paying some of the time is not a turn off, nor does it make me feel less manly or uncomfortable. The first date or two, it's not big deal and I believe in paying. I hate the sound of halfsies, I don't even ask my guy friends to pay half. But I do appreciate the next time we're out that they pick up the tab. A persons earnings also play into it. If I make 6 figures and I know she makes in the 30's, and I like her a lot, I'd insist paying a majority of the time. If we made somewhat equal salaries, alternating who pays is a perfectly reasonable thing, but both people paying part is just weird and does make me feel uncomfortable. Finally, it does bother me that some women, who earn a very good salary, don't think they should ever pay for anything when out with a man. That's not old fashioned, that's being selfish and self centered. Hope this helps answer the question. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/4/2007 12:28:19 PM | | For me it's the other way around, on the first date, I pay. Then after we get to know each other, then you can pick up the tab for lunch or bring lunch. As long as it's not more than twice a week, for me, I always pay for dinner. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/4/2007 1:18:47 PM | | i guess im old fashioned when it comes to dating. But all the dates I have been on i've never had a girl pay for anything. They have tried to give me money for thier half but I feel wierd about it. I guess I have always been raised that it's the Man's repsonisbility to pay for the date and everything that goes along with it | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/4/2007 1:23:13 PM | | I dont care if they go half, i go all in or they go all in... Just switch it up on the next date or if your doing a few thigns, have one pay for one thing and the other pay for the other.. ie dinner and a movie.. . . | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/4/2007 5:46:35 PM | BGSU
Your reply is just terrible. Shows a lot of issues as well. Try to catch a flight to the year 2007 and please; cut the generalizations about Japanese women.
Many people believe that Hispanic women are also the kind to "serve men", and honestly that's not the way it goes. We should do things for each other because we want to. Not because of history or obligation.
Things should be done because we want to. With NO agenda. (You seem to have one... Perhaps expecting sex if you pay? Hummm) Some of the participants are refering to how to work the whole date thing. People should know what is expected before they go out, and really the one who invites may have to figure out the logistic of it. Have a plan.
I don't believe that I need to be rewarded for my company, but I can't speak for all women. There may be some who do. Just as you claim that you are a "hell of a cath" and are single by choice... | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/5/2007 1:05:33 AM | I’m sorry that some think that I not in the year 2007, but I am. Women are working now, if you haven’t noticed. Women are also working in the same jobs that men are. Women get the same amount of pay as men do when they do the same job and if they don’t then the woman can take the company to court to ensure that the do get paid the same amount of pay that a man does for doing the same job. Also, in the year 2007, we have women running for the position of President of the United States. Yes, I am quite aware that this is the year 2007 and what is going on in the world.
I don’t have problems with women, but about all of the good ones are already married or are guy.
What I do have a problem with are women who preach women’s liberation and Equal Rights from one side of their mouths and from the other side of their mouths, they are saying that they want a man to pay for their meal on a first date. I personally think that it is hypercritical.
I’m asking the question, Why? Why do women still think that a man is required to pay.
Now, lets reverse the roles. Lets say, a woman lived in a society where women were expected to pay for the meals of the males that they dated and if they didn’t, men would label them as cheap. How would women feel about that?
I am for Equal Rights, but Equal Rights means Equal Rights and not just the rights that one chooses. I am also for equal responsibility and I ask, what civic responsibility do women have. Do women have to sign up for the draft? I think that it is a sexist law.
I believe that liberated women should have the opportunity to have the right to pay for their own meal on the first date. This is my opinion as a guy and that is what the OP is asking for on the thread from “Ask A Guy” category.
I am a Liberated Man and proud to be one. I can cook, wash dishes, iron and do windows. I don’t need a mother. I am liberated and I am not looking for a chauvinistic woman who expects a man to have to pay for her meal on the first date, when we first meet, like her daddy did fifty years ago. I’m not her daddy!
I do not expect sex if I pay for a meal, however a lot of guys do and I think it is wrong but it happens. Now, if a lobbyist paid for meals for your congressman and senators and they voted in favor of the lobbyist’s position. How do you feel about this and how does it compare? Some one once told me the saying, “There are no free meals”.
Please think about this but don’t condemn me for stating my opinion.
P.S. Sorry if I offended anyone from Japan. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/5/2007 2:50:52 AM | BGSU
I think a brief examination of "Equal Rights" is required
Firstly equal rights is to do with the lack of discrimination, it actually is a misnomer to call it equal rights. SO is it discriminatory to anyone for a man or a woman to pay for a date, no it is not. Is it discriminatory for a tradition call it what you will to exist whereby a man pays for a date if he asks, of course not. Now thinking about that custom and practice is it discriminatory given that the majority of men will pay for a date if they ask, for a man to expect repayment of 50% or 100% of that date, well actually yes it is.
Womens rights have another 100 or 200 years to go before they come close to an equal footing on so many things.
It is always odd to me that whenever the subject of discrimination comes up whether it be gender, race, sexuality etc, those that make the most noise are those that are usually the ones that derive benefit from the discrimination.
Of course as a relationship develops or if both parties agree, the lady should begin to pay her way, but in our actually very short history of "dating" (perhaps 50 years) a precedent has been set, to go against that is to be abnormal so stop trying to justify it using logic, there is little logic in emotional need. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/5/2007 4:55:42 AM | BGSU:
Your answer is better, BUT (You didn't think that I was going to let you get out of this, did you?) You are still slightly in the dark. In the US women earn 76 cents for every dollar a man does. And we are talking about the same job. If you want you can look for the stats on line.
There are supposed to be all kinds of legal remedies set in place for citizens to seek justice despite of gender. But, the reality is that you simplified a situation to the max. Lawsuits are not easy to pull, and the ramifications on the career of someone "seeking justice", well... common sense can tell you what happens to those who are percieved as "trouble makers".
When you go back and address the issue of equality and how it relates to you, you still associate it with cooking, washing dishes, ironing and doing windows. There is more to being a woman than that.
I am glad that you don't expect sex if you go out on a date, but I tell you what; When I invite my friends to go out and eat, I pay: I invited. Is only fair.
PS: Yes, I noticed that women are working now. I do have a job and am getting ready to go to work this morning...
Also: There are some of us who believe that the womans liberation movement has hurt us at times. The whole concept should be about equality and not "feminism". Just the fact that some chose a word establishes a distinction between the genders. It began with semantics and before you know we have all the issues that we try to cover around these forums. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/5/2007 5:03:19 AM | | IF she's in school studying to better herself or just lost her job then some situations are understandable and I wouldn't mind paying for a while until she got back on her feet. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/5/2007 5:10:28 AM | If she drives or buys a coffee once and a while, anything is really nice.
If she never says anything, goes to the bathroom when the bill comes, orders the most expensive thing on the menu, that is a sign that she's going along for the ride.
I really hate that, even if I don't say it. | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 2/5/2007 11:40:26 AM | When a girl offers to pay half, I always insist on paying. I'm not exactly sure why, I guess it's just part of my upbringing. Though, I do appreciate the gesture.
However, if I was in a relationship with a girl and we had been going out for a while, if she offered to pay for a future date at some time, I would be alright with that.
*shrug* | |
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| do guys like when girls go half on a date?
Posted: 4/16/2007 3:18:14 AM | Generally, if I ask, I pay, if he asks, he pays, but I never go out with a guy expecting him to pay for everything. I'm not much of a dinner for a first date kinda girl, more likely it'd be meeting up for drinks to start off with, and if he buys the first round, I'll get the next. If he insists on paying, I've had enough arguments about it to know not to stop him. So generally, whether a girl should pay half on a date depends on the guy, but don't go out expecting to not pay.
Also, if you feel bad for letting him pay when he insists, you offer to take him out next time, and you pay for it, then you get to insist. lol | |
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