| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 12:00:53 PM |
Drugs, alcohol, mental defeats are all perfectly reasonable explaination for why a person hits. Sometimes even parenting or lack there of can contribute to this. While I agree that alcohol does reveal some aspects of a person, don't forget, that person is truly not the same rational animal that holds those feelings back.
These are 'reasonable explanations' for why someone hits another? BS...the only 'reasonable' answer anyone can give for hitting anyone else is to defend themself or their loved one from imminent massive harm or death, e.g. someone's coming at you with a knife and you can't get away; someone grabs your child and tried to run with them. Otherwise being under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or mental defeat is NO reason to hit anyone else...the 'hitter' didnt' take personal responsibility for themself, so now if they lose their temper due to alchol, drugs, or mental defeat (btw, does that mean they think they're a loser?) they can tell the judge it wasn't their fault...again, that's BS. If one chooses to indulge, or overindulge, and then act like an AH, then they don't get to use any kind of 'reasonable' explanation for the bad choices they made...and they should bear th econsequences of these bad choices.
And sometimes, a man or woman who does push too hard, at the wrong time, are asking for it, even if they did not expect it. BUT I DO NOT SUPPORT JUST CUTTING LOOSE BECAUSE YOU ARE ANGRY AND SHE OR HE IS A NAG!!!! I am just saying I understand that each human has his and her limits and then the beast within is released.
I would say that anyone in this position should simply get out of there...and if they can't control themself and do that, then they need anger management classes. Even if you think someone is 'asking for it' (what a simply disgusting thought) one should be a bigger and better enough person to not give in to them and simply walk away from them. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 1:30:43 PM | Being intoxicated is NEVER EVER an excuse to harm anyone else. I hate it when someone may say or do something hurtful and the next day say "Oh well I'm sorry I was drunk" or "I don't remember I was drunk". If someone is to that point where being drunk is their excuse maybe they need to reevaluate their drinking habits.
But as some others have said, a few drinks do let peoples inhibitaions loose. Someone once told me " A drunk man's (or woman's) words are a sober man's thoughts" Which is true (to a point). | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 1:32:40 PM | Never is it an excuse.
I've been on the receiving end of threats from someone that was drunk, and I took it seriously. And so should anyone else that receives the same sort of thing.
The person should get their drinking under control and work on why they turn to a substance and abuse of some sort when they feel under pressure. | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 29 | |
| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 1:42:58 PM | | Drunk or being high on drugs is NOT an excuse. It's a cop out, period, end of story. Lack of anger management is also NOT an excuse. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 1:53:06 PM | Being drunk can be an excuse for anything. Just not a good one.
Drink more if you feel like hitting someone. Or give up booze and smoke weed instead. Might mellow you out. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 1:56:24 PM | Actually, if one can wrap their minds around the concept, any form of mental dehibilitaion can be counted as an logical reason for their lack of self control. But, what they should beheld blamed for is their getting to that point. And that is what those who drink to get drunk fail to realize, is that they have every option before getting stoned to stop themselves. So yes they are held responsible because they are putting themselves in a situation where they are more likely to do something stupid.
In short, if you are drink to get drunk...YOU ARE WRONG! No ifs, no ands, or buts about it. You are wrong, wrong, wrong. It doesn't matter what kind of drunk are you. You open yourself up to a whole host of bad things that you may never realize. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 1:57:00 PM | | I've had alot of boyfriends but the drunk ones were always having trouble not knowing their own strength. One man went to hug me and I told him to stop cause he's sqeesing my head too hard. He wouldn't. I thought my head was going to pop open. My prayers are the only thing that kept me alive. I have now given up my super model dream because my head and face are visibly mis shapen. It also damaged my brain. I am a Christian so I decided to just stick with dating other Christians who don't drink. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 2:06:45 PM | If you can't control your drinking to where your judgement fails and you act like an animal... then even if the drinking excuses the bad behavior, you're a loser.
If someone thinks drinking means you are allowed to be a moron... they are a moron drunk or sober.
If you're a butthead when drunk, you're too much of a butthead to drink with civilized people.
The cops will still put you in jail for assault, drunk or sober. You're just more likely to lose the fight if you're drunk.
Hmmm... how many ways can I say the same thing... | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 2:09:26 PM | Sorry ~ I don't care how drunk, high or stupid someone is. People hit people because they have serious issues, be they anger, insecurity, or otherwise. Nope, if you can't drink and be just as nice as you are sober, you better not be drinking. And for those who "excuse" such behaviors ~ they have their own set of issues to fix. It's never justifiable, never.  | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 2:48:31 PM | i'll just add to the major sentiment here. Of course not!!
I have had the misfortune of being in a marriage with an active alcoholc and severly emotionally disordered woman. I attempted to deal with the violence on my own..and after many episodes of it.... I did react back. It was the wrong thing to do. And it was out of ignorance..and a mistaken belief that I could handle it on my own. I was extremely dysfunctional myself as a result of living in an alcoholic system and trying to cope with it thru my own efforts. I just didn't know any better. I do now. 10 yrs in Alanon has taght me more than I coudl ever say.
My advice to anyone who should find themselves in a situation where they are being attacked by a spouse...drunk or not. Get away if possible...as soon as possible and file charges!!!! Call the damn Police..and stick with it!!! Its a no brainer. The offender must be held accountable. Don't back off! No one can deal with an abuser alone. NO ONE!
After you have done that...get to an alanon meeting immediately!! | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 2:51:41 PM | I was in a relationship for 4 years.....he drank everyday. I was beaten and called names for our entire relationship. Not once did I think he was in the wrong.
Woke up one day and said screw this!!
NEVER again will a man/woman put there hands on me!
well unless I ask for it of course hehe | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 4:34:02 PM | Assaulting someone is a a serious crime and there are no excuses. If someone is drunk and behaves with violence they better get help. I think it is especially pathetic to hit a lady or a child.
Now if a woman pinches my butt on the dance floor because she is drunk....I'll accept that excuse. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 4:41:51 PM | | Drunk as the excuse,, for inexplicable things,, hmmmm nope cant see where someone drinking possesses them to date rape a person, or start beating up on someone. Being drunk as the excuse why your sleeping outside in the kids sand box,, yea I can see where that may work. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 6:12:28 PM | It's an excuse once... the first time you drink and it happens.
After that, you're fully responsible for everything you do when you're drunk. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 6:32:10 PM | | If you can get your ass kicked by a drunk, I recommend working out a little. And I rarely ever recommend such a waste of time. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 6:43:23 PM | | Is it an excuse? Only to the person whom is trying to explain why they did something, they shouldn’t have done. For me, being drunk is never an excuse, only an indictment. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 6:44:37 PM | When you get drunk you do stupid things everyone does
Its how you deal with it when your sober that counts | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 6:51:11 PM | | Being drunk is NOT an excuse. When you are drunk your inhibitions are lowered and you do things that you normally have the urges to do but don't. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 8:49:23 PM | "I was drunk" is an acceptable excuse ONLY if someone forced the alcohol down your throat at gunpoint. Otherwise... NEVER.
As to your second question: Have you ever hit an SO, and why...
Yes.
I hit my first wife once.
Shortly after we married I promised her that I would NEVER hit her first, but that my Momma didn't raise a punching bag, so if she ever hit me, she better swing and duck, because it was going to come right back.
4 years into the marriage, as the relationship was breaking down, during an argument, she open hand slapped the bejesus out of me. I told her that if she ever hit me again I would knock her on her as* . Apparently, she didn't believe me, because about 2 weeks later, during another argument, she doubled up her fist and punched me on the jaw.
Approx. 1 second later, she landed on the floor on her as*. I told her then that I would never put up with being hit by her and that she could expect exactly the same reaction from me any time she swung at me.
She never swung at me again.
About 2 months later we split, permanently.
Good riddance. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 9:15:46 PM | | Will you all excuse me while I go get drunk and pay a woman to punch me in the face? You know, for entertainment porpoises. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 9:22:30 PM | Being drunk is no excuse, even though people try to use it.
I have been drunk before, more then once, and I just lose my inhibitions, and may do things that I have thought about when sober, just was too shy. As I am not a violent person, I do not get violent when I get drunk.
If a person has violent tendencies when drunk, that violence is already in their mind when sober. Of course no one will ever admit that they wanted to beat the crap out of their spouse when they were sober, so they get drunk and then they think they can get away with it. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 9:53:13 PM | | I have been a bartender for 8 years now. Being drunk is an excuse, not a *reason*. Excuses are just that - excuses. Some stupid situation made up that somehow stands outside of the normal 'rules' and should be allowed because you were inebriated? Umm lemmie think here... NO. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 10:41:52 PM | I'll admit that alcohol provokes people to do things they normally wouldn't, but the bottom line is people choose to drink and therefore choose the consequences of their actions. To say someones true colors come out when they drink is bs.
totally different issue, but if a man is being attacked by a woman, in my opinion you everyone has the right to defend themselves no matter who it is attacking them. So yeah, it's okay to hit a woman as long as it is in your own best interest (i.e if you're getting your ass kicked or simply defending yourself from harm) and...i dont remember my last point but there was one...... | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 4:17:19 AM | Thanks for the replies and for being honest with the situation .
Its a delicate subject domestic violence .Thankfully now in the uk a proscicution can be made by the police with out the conscent of the victim...
No one knows what goes on behind closed doors in homes .However I feel if anyone is in doubt about someone they know that is affected by domestic violence they should make it know.
Rape ,child molestation and murder are usually commited by someone known personally to you .Its a sh1t world sometimnes . | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 4:51:44 AM |
Being drunk is no excuse, even though people try to use it.
I have been drunk before, more then once, and I just lose my inhibitions, and may do things that I have thought about when sober, just was too shy. As I am not a violent person, I do not get violent when I get drunk.
If a person has violent tendencies when drunk, that violence is already in their mind when sober. Of course no one will ever admit that they wanted to beat the crap out of their spouse when they were sober, so they get drunk and then they think they can get away with it.
You wrote as good as i possibly could have. My supressed inner self comes out when i'm drinking, i say things i wish i could when i'm sober.
I'm not violent either, so when i'm drunk, people around me have a good time. lol
I strongly dissagree with the post saying that intoxication showing ones true colours is bs, alcohol doesn't brainwash you. It lowers your self control, letting out whats really inside you. | |
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