| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 4:59:47 AM | | I have a question...Why must a person drink to get drunk anyway? It should not matter if the person is a happy drunk, grumpy drunk, hitting drunk, quiet drunk, or sleepy drunk...The fact is this...YOU ARE NOT YOURSELF! There is a reason why we have a conscience, those mental inhibitors that regulate our actions. Why you take that away, YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE (not saying you should). I personally wish people would wise up to that and start behaving like they no right from wrong and stop putting themselves in stupid situations because they could not control themselves from saying only two drinks thank you. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 5:05:36 AM | Being drunk is a problem of its own. If someone is drunk THAT often they need help for the drinking problem. When it changes an otherwise docile man into someone who is prone to violence, that is a drinking problem defined.
Ihave seen "the reason he did it is he was drunk". A "reason" is not an "excuse". A reason implies there was some validity to the act. And there is no validity to a man abusing a woman unless she attacked you with a weapon and you were defending yourself, and even then you only subdue and neutralize, not show overt aggression.
Speaking as one who went from drinking a case of beer per day when I was younger to one beer every few months, I'll quote Clint Eastwood. "A man's got to know his limitations." | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 5:09:14 AM | You are right ESE. That is what people fail to see, we can logically reason why someone did what they did and even accept that logic. But, that does not mean we should accept that behavior and/or allow it to continue if it is harmful.
And you are right, there should be no reason for someone to lay their hands on another except for the defense of themselves or someone else (but to me it does not matter if they have a weapon or not). | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 5:23:25 AM |
I have a question...Why must a person drink to get drunk anyway? It should not matter if the person is a happy drunk, grumpy drunk, hitting drunk, quiet drunk, or sleepy drunk...The fact is this...YOU ARE NOT YOURSELF! There is a reason why we have a conscience, those mental inhibitors that regulate our actions. Why you take that away, YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE (not saying you should). I personally wish people would wise up to that and start behaving like they no right from wrong and stop putting themselves in stupid situations because they could not control themselves from saying only two drinks thank you.
Very well put, as much as i enjoyed our debate in the other thread. I see nothing to debate here, i completely agree with you. Personally i like that slight buzz feeling after a few drinks, where i'm loosened up, but still in complete control.
I used to drink a lot to get the nerve to hit the dance floor. I don't anymore. I realised it was only my inner fears holding me back.
Anyhow, back to the topic at hand lol | |
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| Never trust someone who doesn't drink! (sometimes)
Posted: 2/3/2007 5:32:27 AM | The old latin phrase of "In Vino Veritas" still holds true today ( IN wine Truth) but is drunk an excuse? some people, when they get drunk are just more happy and friendly, others can become violent, aggressive, depressive and any other emotion that they have under the surface.
Alcohol often serves as the catalyst by which people become brave enough to make comments they wouldn't when sober and at the same time provides the escape when challenged on what they have said and done. but really the original poser of this thread should perhaps ask themselves "Why they are putting up with behaviour that they dont agree With" Whether it is cruel words, cruel deeds or violence towards them. There are NO excuses worthy for any of these acts and this should be made clear to the all parties within the relatrionship. AS to my header for this subject I realuise that for some drinking brings on psycotic episodes and some people really should not drink and I accept this but I know many others who don't drink becuase of the demons they release. Not drinking is simply controlling their long standing issues and is not addressing the root causes of their problems | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 5:54:44 AM | Drinking, taking drugs? Same horse, different jockey. A person is responsible for their own actions, and being intoxicated is NO EXCUSE! Ok, so the booze may well and truly encourage us to do things that we may not normally do (given a sober situation), but the bottom line is, if you cannot control ya booze, don't drink. We need to remember if we drink and step out of line, there are consequences, and in the morning (if not before) we must face those consequences.  | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 9:04:30 AM | The problems come when the "drug" controls YOU more than you control it.
If you're losing that "game" on a regular basis you're not strong enough for
the fight and the only way to "win" is not to play.
.........meaning, don't do the drug (wether it's drugs or alcohol) if you can't
control yourself when you do. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 11:46:18 AM | | Being drunk is just the excuse, the crutch. The hitter will inevitably do it soon, without the aid of alcohol. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 1:47:41 PM | My own personal belief?
You don't do anything drunk that you wouldn't do sober. You just do it sooner.
I think this pertains to ALL actions, not just agression or violence. You made out with a sailor? "I didn't know what I was doing, I was drunk." You slept with your next door neighbour? "I didn't know what I was doing, I was drunk." You drunk-dialed your ex at 4 am? "I didn't know what I was doing, I was drunk." Baloney.
No excuse in my book. You're still a wanker. You're just a drunken wanker. And if you did something that you didn't THINK you wanted to do? You'd best reassess your motives, because somewhere inside? You would have done it without the booze.
I tend to be rather unforgiving when someone tries to pull the 'it wasn't my fault, it was the booze' excuse.
Just my opinion, your mileage may vary. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 6:17:31 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^
Also happens to be my opinion. Dead on. Too many people get away with violent behaviour because they use the "i was drunk" card. Pisses me off. Being raised around drunks, i've seen it all.
Also , I know a few girls that use the "it was the alcohol" excuse to sleep around, but i know them well enough to know they just love sex. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 7:04:14 PM | I don't know why you people are all being so harsh. People aren't perfect all the time and sometimes we slip and drink too much and at times say things we shouldnt. Are all of you claiming to have NEVER done it before? I am a kind, friendly person yet i have had the occasion when i have said things i really didn't mean at all. Also, im not refering to violence as i agree drunk or sober there is no excuse but telling a husband or partner to f... off when you are a bit drunk is certainly not grounds for divorce.
I have had people say things to me at times also when they had been drinking and was genuinely remorseful and sorry the next day and i have forgiven them. I dont get on my high horse and rub it in. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 7:27:58 PM | Msg 63 - What some of us are trying to say is that do things when they are drunk that they have already thought about when sober.
I have never done anything when I was drunk that I hadn't at least thought about when sober. Yes, I too have said things I shouldn't have after drinking, but it was something that I wanted to say anyways, just controlled myself not too. I do not have a violent personality, therefore I do not become violent if I have been drinking.
Those people who become violent when drinking, already have violent personalities.
I have found that you can find out more truth when someone is drunk, because they just say what is on their mind, rather then thinking first. And yes, then the next day they realize what they said, and regret it, because they did not want you to know the truth.
Bottom line - being drunk is not an excuse. A person chooses to drink, therefore they are responsible for their actions. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 8:06:20 PM | | Also,it shows you alot about a person if they write you off for doing 1 thing wrong like telling them to "stop telling me to turn the music down". I have had a guy walk out on me because i told him not to keep saying that to me, i was tipsy and had the radio blaring and quite frankly, the fact that he got his knickers in a knot over such a trivial thing was a blessing in disguise. Who wants to date emotional cripples who sulk and write you off because you wouldn't do what they wanted?. Not me, thats for sure! | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 8:11:18 PM | | Bullshit. Alcohol isn't the reason, it's the excuse. Any man who even attempts to maliciously wound a woman in any way is a reason for retroactive birth control in my opinion, but to then be so cowardly as to claim it was the booze doing it, man, that just outright pisses me off. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 8:17:13 PM | | There is no good excuse for hitting a woman.... If ANY guy ever hit my gf, my sister, my mom, or any of the women in my life, they would have me to deal with.... A very angry me... I dont believe in hitting women, but I sure believe in hitting men who hit women... | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 8:19:58 PM |
I have a question...Why must a person drink to get drunk anyway? It should not matter if the person is a happy drunk, grumpy drunk, hitting drunk, quiet drunk, or sleepy drunk...The fact is this...YOU ARE NOT YOURSELF! There is a reason why we have a conscience, those mental inhibitors that regulate our actions. Why you take that away, YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE (not saying you should). I personally wish people would wise up to that and start behaving like they no right from wrong and stop putting themselves in stupid situations because they could not control themselves from saying only two drinks thank you.
Theres nothing wrong with getting drunk once in a while, I do so every couple of months. And were talking stumbling, slurring my words, gotta go puke before its over drunk... theres no harm in it all, no matter what you might think....
If its every day or week, then its a problem. But there isnt a thing wrong with getting drunk once in a while, as long as you arent a bad drunk... | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 8:25:19 PM | The drunk who hits a person has two separate problems.
The hitting thing is related to anger issues, and can be seen early on in smaller actions. They may start by performing such innocuous actions as interrupting, criticizing, and raising their voice during disagreements. Their initial actions are indications of disrespect and disdain for the feelings and safety of others.
In a relationship, this person will start with small actions like the ones stated above, and as the partner ignores or excuses the behavior, the angry one will escalate little by little. Eventually, it will lead to remarkably violent or verbally abusive acts, and the victim has trained them self to put up with it.
I teach Stress and Anger Management, as well as Self Defense, so see live examples of violence and abuse issues, and work hard to teach people that it all starts with how they think, and it can be changed.
Here is a helpful website for people who are concerned that they need to look at their angry behavior:
Angriesout dot com
“Drinking doesn't alleviate problems, it only irrigates them.” Ed Parker | |
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ddream
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Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 71 | |
| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 8:46:49 PM | | There is no excuse whatsoever on hitting a woman.. EVER!!!! If they blame it on alcohol, drugs or whatever then those men are just little sad creatures and don't realise they have a HUGE problem... And I can't imagine why women stay with those SOB's... | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/3/2007 10:13:52 PM |
Theres nothing wrong with getting drunk once in a while, I do so every couple of months. And were talking stumbling, slurring my words, gotta go puke before its over drunk... theres no harm in it all, no matter what you might think....
Ask the people who needed liver transplants due to alcohol abuse if thats true... You can only abuse it so much for so long. | |
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e-wok
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Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 73 | |
| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/4/2007 1:53:23 AM | You will never be as honest as when you are drunk. Your inhibition has
left the building and it's just your naked self....figuratively and maybe even
literally speaking.
People often find themselves apologizing for having said or done whatever
in explaining away their behaviour....they are merely sorry that their
lack of inhibition allowed them to be that way.
Alcohol is the great truth serum and I enjoy it when I want to relax
with my friends and shoot the breeze and I'm largely the same
person drunk as I am sober but only because I'm confident either
way.
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/4/2007 2:12:05 AM | Hands up here.
I got drunk one night and hurt a man I really liked with words. Ruined the whole thing. (an internet connection dating site relationship that had moved on to meeting regular).
He got back from the pub on a friday night and got undressed and got into my bed, without asking me to join him (we were not living together) and the words, "what a cheek" came to mind and it started with "would you mind getting out of my bed" and got worse from there on, ended up with me getting him to leave by midinight. It ended the realtionship altogether, but we are friends again now ten months later, but he never forgave me for interrupting his sleep.
Drink is a bad thing, and the words used while drunk can not always be what you mean, cos you not thinking right.
So I am with you all - be very careful what you say when drunk - it does change relationships and is always remembered (he still teases me about his interrupted sleep). | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/4/2007 3:03:46 AM | being drunk being stupid being ignorant being provoked ABSOLUTELY NOT an excuse to attack or hurt someone. a person should be must be responsible for his/her action. end of the drama.   | |
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