| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 9/23/2007 11:45:02 AM | Being drunk is not an excuse to do it.
Having dealt with a physically abusive guy I can tell you that the first incident he was not drinking but excused it as a bad day. Drinking I think can help drop the inhibitions and help to press them into fighting because that's really who they are. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 9/23/2007 12:09:41 PM | I once aided a woman, her 2 teens and 3 dogs escape an abusive situation that was escalating to fearful death. Of course it was always the "beers" fault. But somehow it was HER fault he hadn't worked in 3 yrs. (which made it convenient for him to drink 24/7, while she worked 2 jobs) But was hilarious was when he got the DUI. "But honey... it wasn't my fault I was drunk... the taillight was out"  | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 9/23/2007 12:40:48 PM | And although this post is off topic just a tad... when I was in 6th - 10th grade, our school had a school bully... I had the unfortunate experience of having my locker next to HERS those years. Several years ago I had to go to court on behalf of somebody else, and there she was... orange jumpsuit, handcuffs, and getting sent to the state penn!!! for the 2nd time. She violated parole from the 1st round.
This is exactly why I've never considered violence to be a "gender" issue. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 9/23/2007 1:50:26 PM | To me using any Excuse for any behavior that is deviant is a cop out.. I went that route once, being the battered will never do it again... But I think society says no it is not tolerable but.. they just turn a blind eye. More people need to step up and be responsible for what they say and do.
I also don't belive in Violence whether it is a man hitting a woman or a woman hitting a man.. The cycle has to be broken period.. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 9/23/2007 2:05:01 PM | | Not an excuse....a reason, maybe?! Probably something they wouldn't do sober. But if drink makes a person react so negatively then they shouldn't drink.....if they know what they are like when they drink and choose to ignore it then that is their choice....but then when something bad happens they need to fess up and stop blaming the drink! | |
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ousu
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Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 107 | |
| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 9/23/2007 2:09:39 PM | | IMO, there is no even a good excuse to be drunk - but that is just because I am so straitlaced. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 9/25/2007 11:31:07 AM | I steer clear of people who get drunk.
I would never ever hit a woman regardless as to what she said or did. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 9/25/2007 12:22:35 PM | | It isn't an excuse because the act of getting drunk is irresponsible in itself. If you know that your sense of conscience goes out the window when you're drunk, then anything that happens is completely your own fault. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 9/29/2007 12:18:19 AM | An excuse 'Drunk' is not an excuse for anything, male or female, wetting yourself, wetting the bed, abusing your body, abusing others, damaging property, damaging finances, taking others lives.
The best advice I got for any abusive violent drunk person: check yourself out in the mirror next time you feel that way, not a pretty sight. Respect yourself first and then others.
Yep could bored you for england with drunk husband abuse, but then his loss, cos when he got all dramatic one night and took it all too far, guess what he lost, the best wife he ever going to have.
But the saddest thing is in England in 2005, it was allowed, he got the badge of honor and I was the bitch, will the law ever change? Lets hope so | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 9/29/2007 12:45:27 AM | | While I don't believe most people are capable of normal reasoning when they are drunk, it's their fault for putting themselves in that state in the first place. I think most perfectly normal people are capable of such actions when they have had enough to drink once someone starts pushing their buttons, which is why it's important to avoid becoming that drunk. If they got drunk and hit their girlfriend what's to stop them from doing the exact same thing in the future? | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 9/29/2007 1:22:31 AM | if it isnt bad enoguh someone layed ahand on me....using the excuse that they were drunk maks it even worse two non in control issues at one time YIKES...see ya dont want to be ya
red | |
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clay71
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Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 114 | |
| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 9/29/2007 1:41:28 AM | | Being drunk is the worst excuse of all.If all the typical reasons are'nt good enough,to which they are'nt.Admitting that being drunk has got to be the worst.I've not hit any female but, you can say the worst things to them. And I have blackened a few eyes, and broken some noses of people that were friends.My body can't handle it, so now I don't drink. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 9/29/2007 1:52:15 AM | | Does being drunk excuse abusive behavior, hell no! Time to take the high road and say later much. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 9/29/2007 8:17:20 AM |
Drink peels away the veneer of civility that we all maintain and lays bare the true animal beneath. If somebody is a mean drunk, they are a mean person at heart. My ex asked me if I would ever hit her. I said "Only if you hit me". Neither ever hit the other. Which is the way it should be. Women shouldn't hit men, either. Barbaric behavior, no matter who does it I agree....nuff said. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 9/29/2007 8:45:23 AM | | cursvesallOver: I have also been living the hell of being with a alcoholic abuser. You are so right no one knows what you go thru unless they have been there. It is a cycle. My own kid came up to me and said,"Mom don't you realize that Dad is abusing you" he then handed me a pamplet about the cycle of abuse. Can you believe that I didnt even know I was abused. It sad and now so obvious to me. My life with him was always controlled by him. I hated the fact that he was so different on public. We owned a bar and he never showed his true self in public. I was the one seen and mentally unstable. he told everyone I wa crazy. I am so glad to be out of it. but it had long lasting effects on me. I need to work on me to never allow this to happen to me again. I think it will always effect me. My husband is an alcohic, he hit me at times and threated me. Emotionally abused me... contr0lled me. He drank everyday. But of course never thinks he has a problem. I do believe that a person true personallity comes out when they are drunk also......Ive always believed that. Being a drunk is never an accuse. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 9/30/2007 5:32:54 PM | | Like to pretend I'm drunk so I can act obnoxious tell people how I really feel and blame it on the alchol | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 9/30/2007 9:40:01 PM | I dunno, is being drunk an excuse when you have a wreck and kill the parents of two wonderful young functioning children? Is it an excuse to break into a store and steal? Is it an excuse to rape someone? Is it an excuse to hit someone? Is it an excuse to do anything?
No. It is not an excuse.
Neither is a lot of other things. I drive while tired. But that can be just as bad as driving drunk, and sometimes even worse. Is it an excuse for me to drive while tired? No.
If someone messes up, then you have the right to forgive them, but you don't have to.
If someone will never quit messing up, then you have the right to not forgive them, but you can if you want.
Regardless, it is not an excuse. It is up to you whether you accept it or not, though. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 10/25/2007 11:15:20 PM | ur still in control, if ur drunk. to an extent. its just the worries of the world ont really get to you and then you're sober and the worries get to you when ur sober thats when the problems start, or the crossing from one world to the next and usually when you're drunk you dont worry about the sober worl dbut when ur sober u worry about the drunk world os the problem is your sober life, trying to deal withyour drunk state, isnt that the point of A.A>? whats more fun aa or being drunk. what would an aa member say. is aa good or evil?
sometimes i think it is good...........? | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 10/25/2007 11:20:26 PM | i think its aweomse when a guy is like "****ed her and then they brag to their friends" but sometimes i'm like what the hell dont do that. but from a good p.o.v. the thing is is that when a guy does that its just cuz they feel like a champ so its a ocmpliment but sometimes its not ideal and so then u cant undo the moment which happens, but like i dunno u just move on and pretend it was something that wasnt ideal what esle isnt ideal elts see pretty much everything.
the first time a guy did that he told all his friends and this one guy icqed me and was like how was that, or like some thing implying i was like so i know what u did last night, i can only say i wish iw as there to hear. but that gets them the ass statement, and the thign is that females cant really do the same or talk about it without getting slut or you shouldnt have or what about this or watch it or some stupid warning so the female needs some way to like u know not depend on the man which is another way of why a guy does that , just to say i still like u guys 2 ya know, here i'll share a lil bit of what i did without ya. but if females gettin a warnin, thats girls controlling girls and thats retarded i dont get it. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 10/26/2007 12:40:38 AM | I only read the opening post, but here are a few points:
Drunk is not an excuse for physical abuse. Did someone hold a gun to his/her head and make them drink?!
The reason a wife would make an excuse for a husband that hit her is because she is naive and still in love, or otherwise feels she will loose too much if she looses him... love is blind. It's a sad situation when that happens, but the abuser should have a one-way ticket to jail.
Plus, even though she still may still love him, her love level will never be high or healthy for that man ever again, if at all, so it's going to be a half-baked relationship after abuse at best.
There is never an excuse for abuse, even self-defense is not an excuse... you could have seen the signs and left before anything happened (people stay in dysfunctional relationships years longer than they should)... you cannot hit a person who is not there with you.
There is never an excuse to hit a woman... if you walk out the door, if she loves and the relationship/she is worth keeping, she will chase after you. This is a fact. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 10/26/2007 12:49:45 AM | For what it's worth, I just thought I'd offer my perspective.
I spent two of the longest years of my life in an abusive relationship. I won't go on with the details, same old story. He always tried to blame it on the drinking but always made the choice to go ahead and get trashed anyway. Bottom line, if getting drunk means you're more likely to lay a hand on ANYONE and you still choose to drink, you're ultimately making a choice to harm another person. Of course there are always exceptions and if I attacked a man OR a woman, I'd be expecting to get hit back.
Being drunk is no excuse for anything. | |
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