Rickus
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Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 101 | |
| Things to never say to a cop...
Posted: 5/6/2007 3:04:55 PM | 1. Was I going too fast for you?
2. You look angry... want me to buy you a donut?
3. My toes were itchy and they happen to be on the gas pedal.
4. That outfit looks nice, where can I buy one?
5. 65 mph? You forgot what my car is capable of...
6. You should call for more backup next time so its more challenging.
7. I was just on my way to recycle those beer cans.
8. OMG...LOOK ITS A HOT BLONDE!!
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| Things to never say to a cop...
Posted: 12/6/2007 11:27:05 PM | More things not to say to a cop when they ask " Do you know why I pulled you over?"
" Letting me know that there is construction ahead?,,, Thanks"
"trying to figure out what to get your spouse for Christmas and thought I could give you smoe ideas?"
" need to borrow some money for a donut?"
" do you know why you pulled me over? Just so you know if I get the right answer"
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| Things to never say to a cop...
Posted: 12/7/2007 1:51:07 PM | | this really happened to a couple of my police officer friends ... they stopped a car with no license plate .... when the car stopped the passenger jumped out and ran the officers proceeded to chase him through the community on foot catching him about a mile away ... handcuffed him and took him back to the car ... the driver and the car they stopped were gone .. they asked their prisoner if he had been drinking he said no .... they asked him if he was wanted he said no ... they gave him a breath test and ran his ID and found he had not been drinking or was not wanted ... they then asked him why he ran he said my buddy was drunk and had warrants on him ... but refused to remember his buddies name ... bad part is when they caught him ... they roughed him up a little ... in court he told he just felt like running .... turns out if you arnt doing nothing wrong and you feel like running ...you can the officers were honest and neither one could remember yelling for him to stop which would have been a crime if he hadnt stopped when told to but only a minor crime .... my friends got reprimanded for doing what they thought to be right | |
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| Things to never say to a cop...
Posted: 12/7/2007 7:09:30 PM | here is a few cop jokes
My dad worked for the city. He was speeding in a city truck when a cop pulled him over.
cop: why are you in such a hurry?
dad:We had a septic tank bust and there is sh!t everywhere!
cop: It is best you get going then.
other I did to a employee.
cop: hey, you guys have anymore gatorade?
other cashier: yes, let me get it. (came back and handed it to him)
cop: thanks
me: hey, she wants to be cuffed and stuffed in your in your back seat.
Arm hurt for a weak. The officer blushed. | |
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| Things to never say to a cop...
Posted: 12/8/2007 12:05:53 AM | Officer, could you turn off those lights? I'm tripping and they're bumming me out!
Cop to speeder: Been waiting all day for you!
Speeder; I got here as fast as I could. | |
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| Things to never say to a cop...
Posted: 12/14/2007 11:08:01 PM | as soon as a cop asks you any question ,,, answer with this" hey if I lay down on the sidewalk ,, will you draw my picture with that littel chalk you have?"
if you see a bunch of police officers at Tim Horton's never say this out loud " Union Meeting?"
want to try this one out but the crime rate keeps going up "hey seems like the crime rate is dropping are you gonna lose your job?"
never ask this to a cop "when you are chasing someone on foot, do you chase the suspect like he got the last donut?"
and never say this around the holidays when getting pulled over "It's the holiday season , a time for giving" chances are the cop is GIVING you a ticket. | |
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| Things to never say to a cop...
Posted: 12/14/2007 11:46:51 PM | | While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?' To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.' 'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?' I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded. The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?' 'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide.' 'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot ***hole? ' he asked. 'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...' | |
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