| support in grieving
Posted: 4/23/2005 3:03:37 AM | That has to be something that is hard to deal with, my heart
goes out to you, jbro. I understand what you must be going through,
my dad is the one that found my brother.
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/23/2005 4:56:35 PM | Jbro, I read what you put this early morning, and can't send you email...live in canada eh!!
Jbro, my heart goes out to what you had deal with and passing along tons of support your direction.
Devil: Beautiful poems you have posted. Sending you hugs.
It can be surprising or maybe people who haven't experience death in their family, can't relate to the loss and why you might be off this day or that month...and its been awhile or even years. I wish no one had to experience it, but one day the people who couldnt understand, will, its only a matter of time that it will happen. I am sure it will be an eye opener, it was for me. | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/25/2005 8:56:47 PM | hey people, I know this has been slack for a couple of days but I wanted to let you all know. Went back to florida this past week end and put my sister to rest. She is in a far better place and not hurting now. She did manage to get what she wanted most. She wanted to have her son and daughter both together once more before she passed and we made it happen. She passed with a smile on her face. I really mean she passed with a smile. She passed in her sleep and she was smiling as she took her final breaths. Shes far better off now than she was before. Thx again to all you fine ladies that emailed me and thx for your concern. I do appreciate it very much.
Moundpuppy | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/25/2005 10:40:37 PM | | oh mound.........i am sendin peacefull thoughts your way......you are the second one of my pof freinds to have lost a loved one in the last day or so...........like i told her...if ya want to vent...or just express some feelin.......whatever you need..........my fishmail box is open for you...........and my heart is open as well.........i am sending warm heartfelt hugs to you.......and i am proud that you accept she is in a better place.......where pain cant touch her.................. | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/25/2005 11:25:10 PM | Mound, my heart goes out to you as well. and that's the best way to remember her,
is with that smile on her face. Always look back at the good times,she would want you
to remember her that way......
Feel free to contact me if you ever need to talk | |
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Missy
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Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 106 | |
| support in grieving
Posted: 4/25/2005 11:43:47 PM | Webetigs, I just saw your post now. Please accept my condelences. I am very sorry for your loss. I wish you peace and hope you find what you are looking for, whether its friendships or more.
Devil & Mr. Right, my condolences for your losses as well.
Tony my friend, I am so glad you got to see your sister before she passed. How wonderful for her to go with a smile on her face. Now, when you guys think of her you can smile too, and remember her as she left. God bless us all.
Hugs
~Heather~ | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/26/2005 1:06:50 AM | Mound, my heart felt condolences to you and your family. We are all here to support you, to give you a shoulder to lean on an ear to listen.
Write anytime. big hugs. | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/26/2005 1:09:01 AM | | for everyone...i just don't have the words except to say...i know what you are going through and am here for you. | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/26/2005 2:40:31 AM | To every that has posted on this thread: My heart goes out
to all that has lost someone very close to them. My thoughts are
with everyone of you.
The reason I am posting this tonight, is that I had a long talk with my
best friend on the phone and he made me realize alot. And it opened my
eyes to some things.
I would like to share this story with every one. May 1, 93 my furture husband and
I went to my brothers house to ask him to stand with us as we were getting married
in three weeks. After accepting, him and my fiance decided to go for a ride just to
get away from the women folk, we were to meet later that day at our parents house.
After a few hours my sister-in-law and I went there and the guys were already there
sitting and talking to my father. I could tell that something was bothering my brother,
I got him to walk outside with me. to my amazement he admitted to me that he was
upset and didn't want to go on with his life. He had, had a few beers so thinking that
it was the beer talking I didn't take him real serious. As kids we always played around
me beinng the oldest and biggest at the time I use to beat up on him and my other two
brothers. I use to hold them all down and make them eat dirt, I know this seems cruel
but it was just one of them sibling things. Well as we got older the boys all out grew me,
and on this day my brother brought it to my attention and asked I would care to try it
now, me being the little devil that I am, I told him sure I'd try it again. So I bent down
scooped up a hand full of dirt and rubbed it in his face, calling me a squirt he picked me
up and started to swing me around, getting to the point of being sick I bit him on the
neck to get him to turn me loose. He finally let me go. After joking with him like this, what
he had said earlier had been forgotten. I walked into the house for a moment to see how
things were going. When I went back outside my brother was nowhere to be found. All of
a sudden I hear a big bang, not think much of this cause my brother had alot of old cars
in a lot behind the house, just figured he was up there messing with one. After waiting
for a bit I go back inside to get my fiance and head for home. Living a ways from my
parents, that by the time I got home the phone was ringing, I run in to answer it and get
the shock of my life. Was my sister-in -law telling me my brother had shot himself to meet them at the hospital. I jump back in my car to head there, I get to the ER doors just as
they are taking my brother out of the ambulance. After what seemed like hours the doctors
approach the family to give us the news that my brother was gone, that they could not
save him. Right then and there it dawned on me, the noise that I had heard a few hours
before was not him messing with a car, what I had heard was a gun shot. | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/26/2005 3:05:53 AM | I have lived for the past 13 years living in a "if only world". If only I had walked to where I thought he was, would it have been soon enough to have saved him? If only I had stayed outside with him, then he wouldn't have went to the lot. If only I had been there more
for him, instead of spending so much time on making arrangements on a small wedding. So
I have been beating myself up over this for all this time, blaming myself for what he did.
Then I relized tonight that although I hurt so bad cause of what he did, it isn't my fault.
I didn't pull that trigger, he did and what ever demons that was chasing after him causing
him pain, he's not hurting now and he wouldn't want me to hurt like this. He would want
me to go on with my life and be happy. Although he did something that hurt me and the
rest of the family so much, he was a great guy. He never met a stranger and would do
anything for anyone that he seen in need of help. One time he was running late for work
and seen someone trying to change a tire, he stopped to help this person and wound up
so late that it cost him his job, he didn't let this bother him at all. in fact his words was
" I was looking for a job when I found that one, I will find another". He would have giving
a total stranger the shirt right off his back.
I know now that everything will be ok, I know that he is in a special place and we will
be together again. So thanks everyone for letting me share this with you. and remember
that what ever choice you make not only effects you, but it effects everyone around you.
thanks again....... | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/26/2005 3:46:33 AM | | OMG devilwoman...my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. I can't even imagine how painful that must have been to hear the news. And you're right, you are not to blame. For one reason or another he made up his mind, on his own. I'm so sorry. Hugs to ya. | |
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Missy
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Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 112 | |
| support in grieving
Posted: 4/26/2005 8:50:29 AM | The if only's are very hard to deal with - If only I knew that when I took my mom to the hospital that night that I'd never bring her home again - I could have tried to make up for a life time of not telling her how much I appreciated and loved her.
What we learn from these things is that we must never take any moment for granted. We must live life to the fullest. We must make sure the people that the people we love know that we do. We will never know which day will be our last so, maybe its time that we lived each day as if it were and treat it as a gift.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why we call it the present. | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/26/2005 9:25:11 AM | | Fourteen years ago, on a sunny April 26, I was at the funeral for my good friend Sean.He was 28 years old and had died of Hodgkins Diease and I remember standing at his graveside thinking how OBSCENE it was that I was participating in the burial of one of the finest human beings that I've ever had the privelage of knowing....Here's o you Sean...Love you always and will never forget you....Dee | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/26/2005 9:31:25 AM | @Mound....I'm very sorry to hear about your loss....I took care of and waited formy Grandmother to pass in 1994 and it was one of the toughest things that I ever had to do...My only consolation was that I was given the opportunity to say what I needed to say before she went...Hope you have that same comfort....
Also, my father died when I was only 5, he was my primary caretaker and I missed him terribly when he passed...Even now, I get restless in the Fall, (when he died), and want to just run away...Mostly I find that I think of the different people who have passed at different times, for my dad, I think of him more whenever there's a milestone of some kind in my or my brother or sister's life...How he's missed so much....
I accepted long ago that I will always feel a pang of loss and sadness when thinking of those no longer here, but that, in time, the edges soften and the pain is less....
"Sorrow shared, is sorrow lessened"....Dee | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/26/2005 12:48:55 PM | Wanted to share this with every one. Came across it this morning and thought
to myself that this is how my brother would have wanted it. I hope that eveyone can
get something out of as I have.
God Please you all
To Remeber Me
The day will come when my body will lie upon a white sheet neatly tucked under four corners of a mattress located in a hospital busily occupied with the living and the dying. At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that, for all intents and pruposes my life has stopped.
When that happens, do not attempt to install artificial life into my body by the use of a machine. And don't call this my death bed, let it be called the Bed of Life, and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives.
Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a woman. Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain.
Give my blood to the teenager who was pulled form the wreakage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play. Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist. Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk. Explore every corner of my brain, Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that somebody, a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of the rain against her window.
Burn what is left of me, and scatter the ashes to the wind to help the flowers grow. If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses and all prejudice against my fellow man.
If by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who nees you. If you do all I have asked, I will live forever | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/26/2005 1:07:30 PM | | @Devil....Beautiful post...Thank you very much...Dee | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/26/2005 3:50:43 PM | I came across that going thru my personal mail this morning,
have know idea where it came from. It touched me so much that
I had to stop what I was doing to break down and cry. I could
just hear my brother saying those things to us, cause that was the
type of guy he was. Although what is did is what most people think
of as the easy way out or that it was just wrong. I thought that too
for a long time but I know that God forgave him, so I know that I can too.
He is up there in a better place, where there is no pain, no hurt, no judgement.
He is now my Angel and he sent me one too, for if it wasn't for my friend
I'm not sure where I would be today. | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/26/2005 4:10:25 PM | Devil woman: You need one.
We all have angels around us, that can appear when you need that support. I wish everyone didn't have to experience death, or dread a particular time of year, that we all know too well. There's nothing wrong to cry for someone you miss, it can be cleansing, and most of all you have a great friend that stayed awake to give their shoulder.  | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/27/2005 12:33:36 PM | Hello, There little brother,
It's me again.
I'm still trying to deal
with all my pain.
My heart is so heavy,
and full of despair.
To me it all seems,
to be so unfair.
Some people say I've carried,
my pain to extremes.
But they don't fight the demons,
that live in my dreams.
Trying to explain, just
what I went through.
God, I pray that
they only knew.
Sometimes I just sit,
here in a big heap.
Arms wrapped around,
myself as I weep.
But I feel your presence,
your here with me I know.
No matter what I do each day,
Your everywhere I go | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/28/2005 7:11:11 AM | devil
nice poem there. hun I want to say something if I can and its not to get under anyones skin ok. I have been on the side of deep depression before. I had the urge to end it at one time and I mean bad. was even locked up to protect myself from me. After speaking to the docs I told them if I had actually wanted to do it nothing or anyone would have stopped me. Now before everyone starts jumping me on this I am explaining here. The doctors I was seeing told me that I was in need of counciling at the time since I wanted to take my life. I told the docs this. I explained that I knew exactly how to get the job done and if I had wanted to I could have at anytime even in the place they had me other than strapped in and a padded room. And I explained how. But the only thing that stopped me was I thought it out. I thought that is a step I could take but it is a step I can't come back from. That and the thought of I can't come back from dead. Because of that they knew I had taken and handled the depression on my own. story is to long to go into here. But my point is even tho a person could have been stopped doesn't mean that it would not have happened at a different time. Only the mighty guy upstairs can say there. I will say the extra time if you had went may have given him a chance to get him back to his self. Only god and your brother will ever know. And sorry he had to go that way. I had a close cousin that did and I never understood until I was in deep drpression why. and its something that is extremely hard to explain to someone. The mind is not right with itself is about all I can say. But because of my time with it I have become a extremely hard minded person. just keep the good memories that makes the days better. best wishes to you hun
Moundpuppy | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/28/2005 7:25:34 AM | | to mound..devil..jer...all of ya..i too have felt this..and almost succeeded once too....so my thoughts and concerns are with you...i just dont have the words yet...... | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/28/2005 8:14:00 AM | Good morning Lady
The depths one's emotions can bring many people to became depressed and feel its not worth it. The sadness that each of us can feel has been described as an empty hole in your heart, and wanting to be left alone during a time that our emotions fluctuate. When I was coming out of my shock, I never had the sadness that some of you have spoken about, but I knew I needed to talk to a grievance councillor in how angry I had become towards my brother. I knew I starting to isolate myself and that "busy" feeling had changed from tiresome to Anger and was coming out towards my personal and professional life. We all know this thought " i want to be left alone, don't bother me or go & hide" is part of our survival skills to protect you from emotions. When you think your emotions couldn't go anymore further, it can and does, If we don't find a way to reach out and say what you're feeling. I want everyone to know its not silly, or embarrassing to talk with a grievance councillor, and for me, it taught me to vent when I need to and deal with any emotions I had felt. Grieving can make you feel you're alone, when you're not, and knowing many had unfamiliar feelings, can get us to open ourselves and share with others who know all to well what its like. | |
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| support in grieving
Posted: 4/28/2005 8:24:58 AM | | mornin sweety...my word heroine ...........she expressin things i still have trouble with...i dont know how she see into my heart when im in fla and shes in canada........but distance is never an issue with this gal.............. luv ya smitten................. | |
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