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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/13/2009 2:38:44 PM | | I find that people who have independence to be able to be interdependent. A serious suitor might be overjoyed that she is able to understand that good relationships can be formed when the people involved are not needy and understand that it does not take another person to make them feel complete. The "need" versus "want" scenario I suppose. I know of very few women who proclaim their independence to anyone...Where are the men meeting these women? | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/13/2009 6:05:56 PM |
I think men are intimidated by a strong, independent, good looking, smart woman that knows what she wants. Funny part of that is they really don't know what they are missing out on!
I wont laugh at this because I think you really believe this.
I for one am not intimidated by much of anything. There is a difference between intimidated, and just not interested.
I want a woman who challenges me........sadly most women who make this sort of claim think they need to make it a competition. I aint buyin the bridge. I have been in relationships with a few. I am way to laid back, to WANT to deal with that.
It my choice, and I dont make it because I am intimidated. | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/13/2009 7:08:26 PM | as you probably already know, men all have an ego. it needs nurturing and love. If you control yourself, his ego shrinks. I don't know? Men need you to comfort their ego. Guess its like a pet.lol!! | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/14/2009 6:06:12 AM | OP, I think you need to be alittle more specific. What is an independent, strong, emotionally stable like?
I think my GF is that way (has her own career, owns her own house, doesn't need me to call her everyday, doesn't get jealous when I look at another woman -cause she secure), but she is also a beta and not overbearing (my way or the high way attitude). If you are referring to someone like her, then there is nothing wrong with you. | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/14/2009 6:19:40 AM | | I think its cool, I was once in maylasia and got o hang out with a girl from aussie. She was one of the coolest chicks i have ever met. She was very independent, would pay half the food and booze bill and the board, I never ever have been with a women where she would pay usually i would be the one paying so it was different. And in bed she told me exactly how she wanted it and which way etc.... Needless to say it was a time i enjoyed and i have no problem with independent women, its the jealousy thats the worst. | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/14/2009 8:52:48 AM |
(fif47) I find that people who have independence to be able to be interdependent.
That'd be great -- if you were seeking to date yourself. However, if you seek to date others, you MIGHT want to give some thought to what they have to say about a subject.
The "need" versus "want" scenario I suppose.
Every time I see this, I think to myself, "So, THAT'S what they mean when they say, 'Win the battle, lose the war'." You can quibble over semantics all you like, whether it's "need vs want", or "independent and strong". At the end of the day, you can enjoy being right in solitude.
Arlo | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/14/2009 9:09:17 AM | | They say ignorance is bliss, there sure seems to be a lot of bliss around here. Laughing at others is always a great way to attract women- not strong, independent women who understand the importance of interdependence in an emotionally healthy, mature relationship. | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/14/2009 9:40:56 AM |
(fifi47) They say ignorance is bliss, there sure seems to be a lot of bliss around here. Laughing at others is always a great way to attract women- not strong, independent women who understand the importance of interdependence in an emotionally healthy, mature relationship.
*shrug*
Like I said: you want a guy? Do what guys like.
Arlo | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/14/2009 11:00:25 AM | I find it's a tightrope.
They want you to stand on your own two feet in life but they want to feel needed
They want someone who can make conversation but they don't want you to know more than they do about anything
They want you to be a good girl but not so good you won't sleep with them
They want you to bring home some bacon, but make sure it's less than them
They want you to have a home, just not better than theirs
They want you up on a pedestal - but only so they can look up your skirt
They want you to be faithful but turn a blind eye to their wandering eye
They want you to look good all the time but then only shower and shave in return
They want you to have opinions - but keep them to yourself if they differ from theirs
They want you to be a porn star in bed but have had fewer men than the fingers on one hand
They want you to ignore the fact that they can't count how many women they've had
They want you to stay young forever while they get paunchy, balding and faded
They want you to do all the chores that get no thanks but get praise for every little bag of garbage they take out
They want you to have you own wheels but not nicer than theirs
They want you to know where you are going and pretend they always do to
They want you to be available but not too available that there's no chase at all
They want to have sex with you and make advances when they feel like it but if you agree and have sex too soon (by their judgment) you will be written off as too sexually available
They often like tall girls and high heels but you better be shorter than them with them on
They want you to be horny but not so horny that they feel they might not be able to keep up
They want to feel they can satisfy you and if they can't they want you to fake it (it's true and you know it is)
They want you to be emotionally stable but they also want you to show emotion over them or they don't feel "connected" or "wanted"
They don't want you to be emotional over them because they feel smothered and "needed"
They want you to overlook their character flaws by being sweet and understanding but you are expected to be pretty much flawless in personality and behavior
They want you to be sexy but be careful or they will call you trashy
They want you to dress attractively for them but not attract attention from other men
They want to pursue you and be in control but they want you to do some of the pursuing, just not too much to turn the tables on them
They nonchalantly say most men want to hit it and move on but they want you to trust them anyway
Basically they want a "superior" kind of woman, a cut above the rest - but not one that outshines them in any way. God forbid you ....a woman...should be superior in any way to them. It's the natural order for you to be weaker and inferior (except morally of course ha ha - we have to make up for what Eve and the whore of babylon are doing you know)
Man I'm tired of this ....well it's just ridiculous isn't it.
Ok, there are some guys that think it's ok for you to be a mere human. Where are they.
They want you to.............they want, they want, they want ....aw heck
Y know what
I'm sick of walking this tightrope while they sit on the end of it judging me, laughing and dismissing me if I fall off
I'm just going to be me and if they can't handle it then I don't want them.
Yup, I'm really sick of men and their constant demands and double standards right now. Took myself off the dating scene until I can tolerate more if this crap again - if ever.
No wonder so many women are throwing in the towel.
There are so many men like this - believe me - so many, it's not even funny. | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/14/2009 5:56:23 PM | I think there is to much focus on this due perhaps to the FACT, that we all want something different from our partners. I get tired of this when I see "all men..", or "I'm really sick of men and thier.."
Guess what? If I dont like you, I just dont like you. Why anyone believes it has to do with being "strong" or "independant" is ridiculous. Quit blaming others for YOUR personality. If relationship after relationship keeps ending, lets examine the common denominator.
And you want to talk about double standards? How many times, guys, have you heard "the woman is always right"
Now ladies......how often have you SAID it?
Sadly there are too many women who, simply because they cant understand how a man thinks, pulls this. And we deliver all to often, just to avoid a fight. Ask anyone in the psyc field.......women are MASTER manipulators.
What I want? A woman who knows how to love, how to communicate, who will be as patient with me as I will be with her. A woman who is just as unafraid as I am to open her heart, and know there will be NO condemnation....complete acceptance, and absolute honesty. Why would I want that? Mostly because that is what I do my best to offer.
Sorry ladies.....we are not perfect, and we dont understand how you think either. But as many of you do for us, we do the best we can. If that isnt enough......and you are to chicken to say something, then you end up in places like this posting about how awful men are.
I am sorry if I hurt any feelings. Did not intended to. | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/14/2009 6:31:25 PM | | Men do not understand how women think either. Men aren't manipulators? I cannot even try to remember how many times I have heard that men tell women lies and act as if they care to get sex from her, and I sure have had my share of men who have tried that lame game with me. Some men do not care for my personality, some do. I have a strong , intense personality, and I see it as a positive thing. So what? I do not care for a lot of men that I meet, due to their personalities or something else about them that I cannot abide. They will not change their personalities because some of the women they meet might not care for them. I thought that was what dating was about, to find a good fit, so we can then open our hearts, accept and be honest with someone who likes us, even though we are all perfectly imperfect. | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/14/2009 6:45:05 PM |
Men do not understand how women think either.
Doh. Sorry, I did leave that out.
Men aren't manipulators?
Women make us guys look like rank amatures. Yes I agree that some men play that sort of game, but women dance circles around us in this venue.
Right on fifi. That is exactly what I mean. It is about likes and dislikes. For me, and I would imagine, a large % of the world, intimidation doesnt fit into it. | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/15/2009 5:05:15 AM | To my way of thinking, independence, like a lot of other things, is a tool. So a lot of depends how you use it.
I can appreciate that some men like a very clearly defined traditional man/woman type of relationship. Other men couldn't care one way or another. Most are somewhere in between. It just depends what you both are looking for.
I can't say that a self described strong, independent woman is intimidating per se. In my family there have been woman relatives who worked when women 'just didn't to that sort of thing simply because they wanted to. In doing so they gained a measure of independence, and they knew it. So the prospect of an independent woman doesn't strike me one way or another. In fact, these days, most woman do work. I think that's great. Because with work comes financial flexibility and increased freedom what they want to do.
The real issue is how someone chooses to exercise that freedom. A few posters have said that it's one thing to have it and use it, it's quite another matter to use it with a bad attitude. I suppose the male equivalent is confidence. Confidence is seen as attractive, arrogance is a complete turn off.
So is the OP too picky? Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. After all, this is just one quality that goes into the whole mix of things. So I really can't say one way or another.
In any case, she has left here. So maybe she found who she was looking for.
Regards
M | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/15/2009 8:50:24 AM | I really love to read these thoughts of women. I'd like to explain how I feel about them. Everyone is different. Forumologist, I hope you don't mind that I'm using your hard work.
They want you to stand on your own two feet in life but they want to feel needed
False. I used to agree with this. I used to want that very thing, but now I prefer not to be needed. Wonder if that changed with divorce? age?
They want someone who can make conversation but they don't want you to know more than they do about anything
False. I like smart person, but somethings have to be proved to me. I had a disagreement once with someone about Global warming. She had her opinion and I had mine. She said she could prove me wrong with all kinds of reports, but I asked her what she could show me that she had done. Zip.
They want you to be a good girl but not so good you won't sleep with them
True. This is absolutely true.
They want you to bring home some bacon, but make sure it's less than them
False. My gf makes more than I do now, but i manage better and do better. I prefer that you spend less than me, but love it when you make more.
They want you to have a home, just not better than theirs
False. Who cares. I like my place. Hers is great too, but different. I guess i just don't care as long as hers is nice and clean.
They want you up on a pedestal - but only so they can look up your skirt
True. I still loved looking up my wifes skirt even after we were married for 15 years. I can't deny this even for other girls. There's something about beautiful legs.
They want you to be faithful but turn a blind eye to their wandering eye
False. Cheating is wrong and sucks both ways.
They want you to look good all the time but then only shower and shave in return
False. I do dress to please her too and try to look good when we go to a recital even at hers kid's school.
They want you to have opinions - but keep them to yourself if they differ from theirs
False. You can give the opinion. I just don't agree with it, but don't need to argue to prove my point either unless she wants to discuss it.
They want you to be a porn star in bed but have had fewer men than the fingers on one hand
False. I want it to be good, but I must be conservative there because some of my past relationships scared the crap out of me with what they wanted to do.
They want you to ignore the fact that they can't count how many women they've had
Huh? They women can't count how many women they have had? this might have to do with the previous question.
They want you to stay young forever while they get paunchy, balding and faded
False. We should all strive to look good for our SO.
They want you to do all the chores that get no thanks but get praise for every little bag of garbage they take out
False. We should share. Replacing the tiles after a storm on top of the roof and kind of scared for 3 hours does not equal 3 hours of cleaning though.
They want you to have you own wheels but not nicer than theirs
False. Again, do some guys care about this? They must if you're saying it, but it really doesn't bother me if you want to take your car because it's nicer when we go out. I do prefer to drive though because safety is always an issue with me.
They want you to know where you are going and pretend they always do to
Huh? I don't get this one. Help!
They want you to be available but not too available that there's no chase at all
True. We love the chase after YOU even when we have you and you have us.
They want to have sex with you and make advances when they feel like it but if you agree and have sex too soon (by their judgment) you will be written off as too sexually available
False. I only want to get initimate when I am crazy about you.
They often like tall girls and high heels but you better be shorter than them with them on
True. I like to be taller.
They want you to be horny but not so horny that they feel they might not be able to keep up
False. I never had this problem. So, maybe I can't judge this question too well.
They want to feel they can satisfy you and if they can't they want you to fake it (it's true and you know it is)
False. This is hard for me to say, but I dated someone that couldn't orgasm with me inside. I tried touching her while inside,but she said the touch was different. She could only do it when I was sucking her breasts and rubbing her. She had great orgasms that way. If I dated someone and they faked it, I think it would be over. Thats like lying and cheating.
They want you to be emotionally stable but they also want you to show emotion over them or they don't feel "connected" or "wanted"
False. Everyone cries. I just don't want you falling apart on me.
They don't want you to be emotional over them because they feel smothered and "needed"
Conditional. Don't be over emotional. I don't have the tools to deal with it. Sorry.
They want you to overlook their character flaws by being sweet and understanding but you are expected to be pretty much flawless in personality and behavior
False. No one is perfect, but you can scare us to death with your wild emotions sometimes. Don't fall apart on us and I'm fine.
They want you to be sexy but be careful or they will call you trashy
False. Sexy is in the eye of the beholder of course, but I don't like it when my gf shows her goods to other guys. I am kind of jealous there. Save it for the house sweetie.
They want you to dress attractively for them but not attract attention from other men
True. I want you to dress attractively for me. But when you flirt with other guys, I don't care for it.
They want to pursue you and be in control but they want you to do some of the pursuing, just not too much to turn the tables on them
True. I/we are probably bad this way. Can you let us think we're doing the pursuing? It does help the ego. You got this one head on right.
They nonchalantly say most men want to hit it and move on but they want you to trust them anyway
True. I have heard lot of guys do this. I don't, but it hurts when she falls for the player and you're crazy about her. I hate to say this to you, but you do deserve what you get when you go for the player type. Most of the guys can see you doing this.
I hate to tell you this, but this crappy dating stuff is what us guys went through for decades where some women played their games with men. I know some guys are now playing it back after they got older and burned a dozen times.
It hurts, doesn't it? You did right taking yourself off the dating scene. You needed a new perspective and I did it before too. A friend who I dated helped me do a list of what is acceptable and not. She calls this her deal breaker list. It worked for her and she has a great guy. She helped me make this list. It was so hard to do. I found out if I ignored this list when I dated someone, I ended up with crappy relationships. Do your list and follow it too. You might be surprised.
BTW. You have to have what you are looking for in one column and what is a deal breaker in the other column. That helps you so much. If he's in the deal breaker list, end it right away. It doesn't get better.
Good luck | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/15/2009 1:31:23 PM | False for you....so you say...doesn't make it so.
One of my dealbreakers is double\impossible standards and the stubborn habit of denying they are alive and well in so many mens hearts and minds.
Maybe the guys you say that got burned were with women who got sick of it and just gave up trying to get through to their men that things were unfair. Now you say these men are out for revenge. For what. For not being wanted? It's their own fault and they are making it worse now by resenting women for being forced to get along better without them.
So many excuses for bad behaviour. I find that is the specialty of men. And so few excuses for us. Another double standard that can go to hell. | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/15/2009 6:04:10 PM | Wow!
You were right to take a break from dating. You can give excuses to women you don't even know, but throw heavy venom at guys you don't know too. That's what i call a double standard.
There are all kinds of double standards for guys and gals. Some people are just treacherous and always will be and that goes for men and women. | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/16/2009 8:02:13 PM | Holy Hell.. You nailedit: an astute and maddening pathology that is all too common...
*sighs*
Is nailing it, getting about 1/3 of the assumptions correct?
I guess your standards are like baseball. You hit .333 and you're an all-star. | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/22/2009 11:28:15 PM | Lol. Why not? Take the average guy... for every 10 women he asks out he might get 1 date. Then he has to go on multiple dates to get the one. This math will inevitably affect his attitude, confidence, and shape his game. So if he sees a corporate exec, hot biker chick, or astronaut he's going to automatically categorize them with the 9/10 that will reject him. Is it fear of rejection...sure is it male insecurity issues... why not. Can you blame him? No, because at least he's being honest with himself.
Still, your question is very broad and you might want to tell us your story to get a better idearrrrrr of what you mean. | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 3/3/2009 5:29:26 AM | | A strong independent woman is definintley a great attribute in my eyes. Having those qualities shows that she can handle her own and take care of herself. Personally when I'm dating, I look for women who offer to pay on the first date. I never let them, but it shows that they are able, and willing, and I can appreciate that, but at the same I still have to be the man that I was raised to be. | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 3/4/2009 3:49:31 PM |
Lol. Why not? Take the average guy... for every 10 women he asks out he might get 1 date. Then he has to go on multiple dates to get the one. This math will inevitably affect his attitude, confidence, and shape his game. So if he sees a corporate exec, hot biker chick, or astronaut he's going to automatically categorize them with the 9/10 that will reject him. Is it fear of rejection...sure is it male insecurity issues... why not. Can you blame him? No, because at least he's being honest with himself.
Flappo:
How's this different than our experience? Replace the above with for every man that asks us out we might get one we want to date, and then 9 out of 10 they end up being insecure and controlling and trolling dating sites while telling you they only date one woman at a time
[ouch! Did I really hit send? I'm prolly going to get slammed for it, but it's been my experience too often) | |
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