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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 3/12/2009 9:54:04 AM |
(SassyRedhead10) To each his own though, right? At least we still have the freedoms to choose who we bring in and out of our lives. I guess if a guy sees me as a strong, independent woman and doesn't want to get to know me based on that....well I suppose that would be his loss because there is soooooooo much more to me then what I show to the world. That persona doesn't even begin to cover who I really am!
*sigh* and here we are again.
Your "strength and independence" may have nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with a guy not wanting to get to know you. Guys are repeatedly saying that they notice a rather high co-relation between a woman declaring her "strength and independence", and her having other NEGATIVE traits -- yet it seems to ALWAYS be COMPLETELY ignored. Maybe the "strength and independence" declaration needs to be rethought?
Also:
If you spend so much time projecting a "persona", then that IS who you really are, and maybe it's THAT, and not your "strength and independence", that convinces a guy that he doesn't want to get to know you. After all, you say "persona", some guy may say "deceptive lie".
Arlo  | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 3/15/2009 6:19:43 PM |
Isn't the goal to become an integrated person, authentically who you are, so you can drop these masks and layers?
Yes, that would be the goal but unfortunately there are a lot of people in this world that don't get that. A surface persona is just the tip of the ice berg, so to speak, regarding who a person really is. You can't really get to know somone by spending only a few hours with them. You have to peel away the layers of who they really are over time. I have friends in my life who it has taken me years to really know. Some I still don't know. That doesn't mean that they are any less my friend.
Just because a woman presents a strong and independent nature to the world does not mean that she has her defenses up or that she is wearing masks. I am a very humanistic compassionate person who still has hope in the concept of love. I am not an overtly negative person as a matter of fact just the opposite(almost to positive and hopeful according to my friends). I wear my heart on my sleeve and emotions on my face. I let people know who I truly am. I am authentic in what I present to the world but that doesn't make me any less independent. Maybe my authenticity is my independence so I am wondering why these qualities have to be a barrier or a defense? Or maybe I can blame is on my zodiac sign as it seems to be a trait of us Sadges  .
I guess my point is that just because a woman presents strong and independent it doesn't mean that she is defensive, is trying to intimidate anyone nor does it mean that she is not compassionate or lacks the ability to be vulnerable. It just means she is being who she is comfortable being. She shouldn't be judged as bad, bitter or defensive because she is comfortable with those personality traits. | |
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| Entire thread - summarized in ONE post!
Posted: 3/16/2009 3:16:51 PM | Whenever I need a good laugh, I just come to the forums, and watch how some people will just keep asking the same question over, and over, and OVER, again, until they get the answer they want:
Woman: Are men intimidated by strong, independent women?
Man: No.
Woman: Are men intimidated by strong, independent women?
Man: No.
Woman: Are men intimidated by strong, independent women?
Man: No.
Woman: Are men intimidated by strong, independent women?
Man: Yes.
Woman: Ah-HA! I knew it!
Seriously, folks, you couldn't PAY for comedy this good!
Arlo | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 3/22/2009 7:18:45 PM | | Well, I don't know for most people, but when I read "I'm a strong and independent woman" I'm wondering if actually means (which is most probable): I'm an egoistic person searching for that someone who will flatter my ego (since humility is not my strong side) that I don't really need on any other level". I mean, sure most of us see ourselves as independent and strong and other good qualities of the sort, but I' don't describe myself this way to strangers when I want to give them an idea of who I am. I must admit I'm always laughing when someone says "there is so much more to me, it's just the tip of the iceberg". Of course it is. Everybody has a whole and very complex character, doesn't mean it's nice because there's more and, besides, that is what you chose to show, which reveals a lot a character/persona. It means it's something you value more than, say, being fun, loving, caring, good, intelligent, honest or any other trait that was not mentionned in a description. Plus, anyone who does write that she's every single of these things is obviously full of herself and it is something that repulses me more than anything (and many other guys I should hope). Therefore, I do not think it is the fact that a woman would be strong and independent that is annoying (on the contrary) that the fact that they say it with such pride which ends up reflecting, in my sense, vanity. I know that saying that you're independent/strong does not necessairily means you're full of yourself, but that is what it conveys. Remeber that we do not have access to the rest of that iceberg... | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 3/22/2009 8:12:02 PM | davidhume0: You are wise beyond your years. 
From a woman who for many years proclaimed herself to be a "strong and independent woman"......only to find out that it aint necessarily so. Sometimes the label is just a cover. | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 3/23/2009 2:00:47 PM | | I personally think that if you have to point out how stong and independant you are all the time....then maybe you are not as strong and independant as you would like others to view you as???? just a thought! | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 3/23/2009 2:40:38 PM | I think most men SAY that they want a woman who is independent(in other words NOT dependent). BUT at the same time, I can say from experience, as a woman who can handle things.......lol such as money, a job, kids, house, vehicles, yardwork, etc............it takes a strong, man who is very much at peace within himself, in who he is, to love a woman like me! Men do like to feel needed, so for me, it is important that I find ways that I do need him, and to let him know. I was a military wife for 25 years and was alone alot, and a man's makeup is to be the provider, the protector, etc. Strong women need to be able to show their vulnerable side as well, and not come off as too tough. Men like women, not women who are like men.
:) Did I I screw this up, or not?
LOL | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 3/24/2009 6:02:04 AM |
The way to describe myself is i'm independent, strong, emotionally stable...I've been dating for about 8 mo.. Haven't found anybody that's really my type..Sometimes I wonder if i'm being too picky or I might come off a certain way that guys feel intimidated by
I'm not intimidated... call me!
Some guys are intimidated... but you don't want them anyway! lol...
NEVER settle for less than you think you deserve.. there is no such thing as too picky. You will reap the benefits of your hard search... TRUST ME!
Good luck :) | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 3/24/2009 1:14:59 PM |
Your "strength and independence" may have nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with a guy not wanting to get to know you. Guys are repeatedly saying that they notice a rather high co-relation between a woman declaring her "strength and independence", and her having other NEGATIVE traits -- yet it seems to ALWAYS be COMPLETELY ignored. Maybe the "strength and independence" declaration needs to be rethought?
Bingo | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 3/24/2009 2:43:08 PM | I have to agree with colorsoutsidethelines here.
We want an independent woman who can handle things like money, job, kids, house, vehicles, yardwork and all the rest because we want a partner in life.
When you can stand on your own 2 feet, then you can show the other person you have needs and they can meet them. It's when you are so needy and unable to manage your own life and the daily grind that goes with money, job, and the rest that wears your SO down.
I know a military wife can handle all that. They are special and truly unlike any other woman you could ever find!!! | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 4/10/2009 11:25:16 PM | OP usually women that are strong, independent and strong and self sufficient they usually like to have things one way; theirs. I am not intimidated in the least by you so save it.
You are not intimidating; it's just that men and women are sick of people parading around and acting so big and strong when it shows a lot of insecurity as far as I'm concerned. I want a partner, not someone that doesnt' really need me for anything but to have sex and do what they want me to do. no thanks. | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 4/11/2009 10:33:26 PM | Wow. Common question, but interesting answers. I have met both assertive women, and shy women. How assertive is the question, and since when were women weak? If men had to have children, we could probably not even be here. Past the idea of "I wanna be on top, why would it matter" ? In the world of "emotional maturity", I think as a gender. We have to catch up......So what is strong, when the common headline on many profiles say: I know what I want.......do you?
If she picks you, and she is the person you are looking for. Who she is, not what she is might be the key. We all want to loved for who we are, not what we have. Or what we have accomplished, unless we have Nothing else to offer.
Just a thought...... | |
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| Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 4/12/2009 4:06:29 AM | | women are so funny, but l love them. nowadays women want to proclaim independence, and strength as a means to justify their unreasonable, unrealistic standards set for said partner. all men like a smart intelligent girl who can function out her own thoughts. however most women who state their independence are really saying im in a good career, my ego is huge, and until brad pitt rides in on his white stallion and sweeps me away ill just keep living the bachelorette lifestyle going to bars , clubs, and dating websites, that are designed to put women at a 10 to 1 ratio and keep you thinking your more than what you are. it must be a powerful time of self realization for some women when their 30, single ,and maybe a couple kids running around, that the guys who will take you home from a bar and f*#! you and maybe even string you along isnt going to date or marry you. you become a lifetime nsa statistic. fact is too many relationships are based on looks, or money. no wonder were leading the world in divorce rate, single parents, and one night stand websites. can people just break down their walls and realize your career, or independence should not define you. we all have a need to be nurtured and loved by someone who respects us for the PERSON you are, not the biased education and career you bought in college. being too picky is probably the problem you, and a lot of women are having...... | |
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