| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/3/2007 8:05:21 PM | Ive wondered about this for a while...
I talked to a couple of girls before my I met my gf here. It didnt take me long to realize they werent what they said they were in their profiles.
Things like 'work out regularly' usually means they'd been to a gym once before. They tend to take pictures of their faces only and describe there bodies as average, when really they are 40+lbs overweight. Its just all very, very common it seems.
I met my gf in an arguement in a forum, lol. She had no picture in her profile and had talked about her goals in it. I instantly assumed most of it was half true because of my experiences chatting with others. I was completely wrong, she was all she said and more. So its not everyone, but its alot of people, thats for sure. It was the one arguement in my life im glad I ended up involved in  | |
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| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/3/2007 8:19:10 PM | They lie because they are marketing themselves, just like on TV when you watch all those commericals ! If you buy a certain car or type of clothes, you'll be cool, only with online dating sires, you lie and get dates.
Yeah it's pitiful people lie but they do. | |
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| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/3/2007 8:29:38 PM | Definitely the marketing thing has people doing omissions and flat out lying on profiles. I have no idea how many times I've seen "a few extra pounds" or "average" people and it's like... at least twice my size (and I know I'm not really small). And flat out lying is lame. It's easy to just omit all negative things about yourself on sites, but they come out eventually.
The only thing that's bad about it is that people will totally neglect a person just because they don't seem perfect. About the dumbest thing I've ever seen but I know it happens. I just started adding whatever came to mind about myself in my profiles, because I'm not perfect, why should I attempt to pass myself off as it? | |
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| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/3/2007 8:45:24 PM |
I have no idea how many times I've seen "a few extra pounds" or "average" people and it's like... at least twice my size
Im twice your size, i've marked a few extra pounds, because those few extra pounds are all muscle. Im 290lbs, double the size of many people. I dont think the few extra pounds thing holds much weight, because the options are so sparse that you have to choose something, wether it fits you or not... | |
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| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/3/2007 9:00:46 PM | | I say they are all liars. All men on this site. I thought i found somebody who was genuine. He gave me his business phone, he was self employed and i checked it out on the white pages and it appeared to be true. I called him and he answered. He also gave his cell phone number. We rarely called though and i found out every time i asked him when a good time to call, he never answered the question. Well i called on a Sunday and the recorder was on and a female answered it. Definitely not a female that comes with the standard answering machine. I called him back and confronted him and he said he could not hear me on the cellphone, but i could hear him just fine. He asked my phone number, i asked him how many females he called, probably hundreds. I thought he was true because he wanted to meet me and i figured he wanted a real relationship right, not just a virtual one. I was totally wrong about him. I ve been wrong about every man on this site. However, i consider this a lucky escape. I believe i am a good catch, i am not bad looking and after my divorce i will have a very good settlement. Yes, i lied about that, i told the truth on everything else except that. I mean would i be so stupid to admit that i will be very well off thanks to my ex husbands generosity? Afcourse not. I am only saying now because i have absolutely no intention of finding another man, either on the web or in real person. | |
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| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/3/2007 9:05:43 PM | I really don't understand why people misrepresent themselves on profiles,
and then expect people to accept them as they are when they meet them.
It can lead to more attention, and maybe a lot of meetings,
but would surely only cause more rejection,
or do they keep the fantasy alive by pretending all they meet
are not suitable for them, or dismiss them as shallow,
for not accepting the real person behind the profile.
It's only natural to post our best pics, and paint ourselves in a
good light in our profiles, part of the dating/meeting is to see
if the online compatability can follow through in real life. If you have been
lied to and mislead from the start not much point of pursuing it any further,
not a great way to begin a new relationship. However,
if they want to be a star online and never meet anybody,
they can keep the fantasy alive forever. | |
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| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/3/2007 9:47:15 PM | I don't know why some people do it but I sure do wish they would stop it! They make it hard for the rest of us because they taint the field with their misrepresentation. I choose to assume until proven otherwise in real life that people are who they portray themselves to be online. I also make sure that I meet them in real life pdq before I invest too much time and energy in the potential bs.
The sad thing is that if you allow yourself to assume all people are misrepresenting, you may annoy the hell out of the one who isn't with your paranoia....the one that you might have actually hit it off with but you may never know. | |
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| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/3/2007 10:38:39 PM | I've found the more common cases are
A) People who are married or are already in relationships but pretend that they are not. I find if you ignore people without pictures in their profiles, you weed out most of them.
B) Overweight people. Lots of people have tiny headshots only or shots that look like they were taken from orbit. Honestly it's the women, more than men, who lie about their weight. | |
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| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/3/2007 11:36:21 PM |
I find if you ignore people without pictures in their profiles, you weed out most of them.
Im glad I never took that advice...
there are many reasons one might have no picture in their profile. In some cases, I have no doubt you are telling the truth, but in the case of the girl I met, that just wasnt true at all, and im sooooooooo glad it wasnt | |
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| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/4/2007 6:15:33 AM | Overweight people. Lots of people have tiny headshots only or shots that look like they were taken from orbit. Honestly it's the women, more than men, who lie about their weight.
Dancing Queen, That was one hell of a sweeping generalization you have made above.....on what proof do you base your statement...personal experience?
I would have commented on your other sweeping generalization but ^^^^^ already did. | |
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| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/4/2007 6:42:55 AM |
Ive found that alot of people on dating sites misrepresent themselves in the form of their intentions as well as what they are looking for.
Perhaps they didn't misrepresent. For instance, say they put that they want a 'long term relationship' and they meet someone who fulfills everything they are looking for BUT for some reason the physical chemistry isn't there...then it's just not going to work out. It doesn't mean they misrepresented their intentions. It just means that all the puzzle pieces didn't fit together with you. No point in getting bitter about it....it just wasn't meant to be. Nothing against you...nothing against them. | |
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| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/4/2007 6:56:09 AM | I find if you ignore people without pictures in their profiles, you weed out most of them.
^^^ and whats wrong with not having a picture in our file??? i dont post mine for reasons. i figure if he can take the time out to getting to know me on a personal level then he can have my picture.....otherwise most are judged by their looks and theres so much more to a person then just their looks. | |
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| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/4/2007 7:24:29 AM | HOW can anyone be SERIOUS, if the misrepresent themselves? I have been back in the dating scene now for over 4 years. I have seen it all. They lie about their age, (Yes, men lol) and some claim to be single, or seperated, (And some are alone, but not legally single or seperated.) and some put up pics from 10 years ago. They also put up pics from 300 pounds ago (not lying, he did.) Soem say they want long term, but meet with a 24 pack of beer in the backseat and suggest the motel down the street, as you meet at Denny's expecting to go in for coffee. (I drove home laughing all the way, not believing that one!) I meet one guy who brought his dead wife's pictures along and talked about her the whole time, and I have been stood up at least 10 times. I have met two men without a picture. (The first, claiming many reasons and saying he was good looking, and upon meeting him, I said never again! lol...Though I did over a year later, agree to do it again.. while holding my breath to see what he looked like, was just fine looks-wise...whew!) I have more, but you get the picture.
I guess some think if you meet them after talking to them, you must like something and maybe, just maybe, they will have a chance. Only THEY can really tell you why they do it for sure. The rest is all guesses. And they can tell you many reasons that they do these things. But all in all, only THEY can tell you the REAL reasons that they do these things!
If you misrepresent yourself, in other words LIE, then I figure you are going to lie about anything later, and wonder what else you have ALREADY lied about. I don't want to police someone! It's not a good start, even if the lie is a small one, because now the one lied to is on guard and looking for other lies. Not at all good for thinking future relationship at that point.
I dated one guy who lied and lied. He was excellent at it. I had NO idea. The reason I had no idea was, not only was he excellent at lying, but I didnt meet any of his friends or family for a long time. I found out why, later, that he kept them from me.... THEY were good and honest people. Long story on how I met them finally, but once I did the TRUTH came out. That was when I found out someone can lie so well, you have NO IDEA. ( I am far from naive, so this showed me someone can pull this off as long as other factors, such as meeting family and friends doesnt happen lol) The family knew, of course, he lied. I asked questions and all the facts came tumbling out. So that was the end of that, which WAS painful, because in the meantime, I feel in love with this man. But, having been lied to and cheated on for 25 years in my marriage, there was NO WAY for me to accept this man. So women, and men out there.. MEET THE FAMILY AND FREINDS. ASK MANY QUESTIONS. PAY ATTENTION TO THE LOOKS YOU GET, (THEIR FACES WILL TELL ON THEM.) If the guy/gal lied... RUN do not walk, to the nearest exit. Those types aren't worth the time of day. If they can hurt their own families and friends with lies, imagine what they will do to YOU!
I look for a certain type of man to date. I now know what I want, and more importantly, I find what I do NOT WANT. If he lies about something I find important, than he is saying he is someone else. If I am the one lying, then I am pretending to be a person that isn't me. So if someone falls in love with that person, then they are not falling in love with the REAL me!! So why would I want that?
Later he WILL find out and that, for the most part, it will extremely damage that relationship and probably beyond repair, because that lie or lies will be hanging there all the time. I know for a fact I sure don't want that!! So I tell the truth, and if someone loves me for me, wonderful. If not, wonderful too. I don't want to have to live lies to not be me to keep someone. That is insane. (Plus the FACT that the truth ALWAYS wills out in time, and that could be hell to deal with!)
So people, do not misrepresent (LIE!) yourself! Just be you and you will find someone who loves you for just the you that you are! There really is someone out there for everyone, just might be difficult to find. I know, I have been searching for the other half of my heart now for over 4 years. I have found a few hearts I do love out there, but for many reasons, they just are NOT the ones who can claim my whole heart, or I can't seem to have claimed all of theirs. Those are the ones we now call friends, and that is great also!
Happy fishing everyone, and best wishes to the selves that you are, and do not misrepresent on here or anywhere!! 
Linda | |
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ok.1
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Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 44 | |
| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/4/2007 7:45:39 AM | This happens so much online, its almost a given, which I find to be a very sad fact.
I find that for those of us who are actually honest (like myself) are miss-judged and automatically put in the same category with everyone else.
A sad but true fact.
K | |
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| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/4/2007 9:06:34 AM | | Verygreeneyes & sigi. Both of you are very attractive women so you're biggest problem at this stage of your life is that you will have too many suitors. I know this for a fact. One of my good friends on POF is a stunning looking woman who let me peek into her profile a while back and she had literally hundreds of e-mails from all kinds of good looking guys who were interested in her. You might want to take this opportunity of really learning about men when the world is your oyster. You might consider it "a waste of your time" but you will find there comes a time in your life (it does for all of us) when the offers dry up and no body's interested. Have fun with it. And yes, people lie and misrepresent themselves all the time. Both men AND women. Its human nature. Why get upset? Unless you are looking for a really boring plain vanilla kind of guy that is exactly who he says he is. These type of people are usually followers never leaders. | |
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| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/4/2007 9:26:46 AM |
A) People who are married or are already in relationships but pretend that they are not. I find if you ignore people without pictures in their profiles, you weed out most of them.
B) Overweight people. Lots of people have tiny headshots only or shots that look like they were taken from orbit. Honestly it's the women, more than men, who lie about their weight.
A) Hate to break it to you sweetheart but this is not a solution to the problem. Even (especially) good looking people cheat on their spouses.
B) Unless they look like you considerable care is taken to camoflage their physical drawbacks. But even you will find yourself doing this when you approach the age of 50 and are 30lbs overweight after having a brood of kids and have been traded in for a younger model. That's life no use in getting upset about it. | |
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| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/4/2007 10:22:05 AM |
A) Hate to break it to you sweetheart but this is not a solution to the problem. Even (especially) good looking people cheat on their spouses.
B) Unless they look like you considerable care is taken to camoflage their physical drawbacks. But even you will find yourself doing this when you approach the age of 50 and are 30lbs overweight after having a brood of kids and have been traded in for a younger model. That's life no use in getting upset about it.
Hate to break it to you but it's a huge solution to the problem. Most married men and men already involved aren't going to plaster their picture on dating site on the off chance that a coworker or relative or mutual friend or a wife or girlfriend will see it. They are going to attach their photos to a private email to another person. And beyond that, looks matter. Physical attraction matters. Digital cameras are cheap now. They even put them in cell phones now. Photo hosting is free here and other places on the Internet. There is no reason, unless you work in some kind of specific profession like law enforcement, not to have a photo up. Anyone who doesn't have one up is just wasting your time. Even the POF staff say several times during the registration process that having a recent clear photograph is essential to having any kind of success on here. It's common sense. A person with no photo is either overly shy, in a rigid profession, has an issue with their appearance or hiding something. There is nothing appealing about any of those things for dating.
What does what I might look like in 30 years have to do with the truth that fat people here routinely try to disguise the fact that they are fat. Many to the degree that they are being less than honest with vague photos and vague categories like "average" and "A few extra pounds" And while this might be surprising to you, not everyone who gets older or has kids turns into a porker. As for being upset, I find the angriest people on this site are often the fat people. They cry about everything. They cry because people don't love their "inner beauty" They cry about the way society treats them. They cry about why the people they are attracted to avoid them. Then when you tell them it's probably time to stop crying and get on a treadmill, not just for your dating life, but for your health and for your self confidence, they go running to a moderator to get the thread deleted while all of the rest of the fat people gang up on you for interrupting their pity party. Most fat people on this site are generally, by far, the most overly sensitive and thin skinned of anyone here. | |
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| Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/4/2007 11:50:57 AM | Many to the degree that they are being less than honest with vague photos and vague categories like "average" and "A few extra pounds".
Dancing Queen....the choices are as follows: thin, athletic, average, a few extra pounds, Big & Tall/BBW or prefer not to say.
Perhaps people like me choose average because I am not thin, athletic or Big & Tall/BBW. Average by definition is a norm.....do you realize what the norm is for North America...it is neither thin, nor athletic. In fact, the norm is now a few extra pounds since the majority of people are not at their ideal weight and cannot then be called thin or athletic. This does not mean that one who is neither thin or athletic is automatically a Big & Tall or BBW.
Not directed at Dancing Queen ...... I say that
As a woman, I feel that all women who pose showing ample cleavage or skantily dressed are advertising to the male population that they are looking for sex....if they are not, then they are just as guilty for misrepresenting themselves on the internet. | |
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