| | What are the boundaries of intimacyPage 2 of 2 (1, 2) | | It is not the kiss but the intention behind it and the nature of the kiss that makes it merely a greeting or an act of intimacy. | |
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| What are the boundaries of intimacy
Posted: 2/5/2007 9:03:26 AM | Kisses on the lips can be friendly kisses or intimate kisses. Would have to see how she kisses them, as it could be nothing.
I would never kiss people on the lips unless I was having sex with them, people can give you them lip blisters | |
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| What are the boundaries of intimacy
Posted: 2/5/2007 10:22:11 AM | I think it's all in how you're raised. If you were raised in a family where family members and friends kissed hello and good-bye, then that's what you'll continue as an adult, unless you choose not to. I know exactly what you're talking about b/c my husband kissed his family members and my family did not. I'm sure my eyes were huge when I saw them kissing each other the first time. I didn't change what I did and he didn't change what he did. His family members would usually kiss me on the cheek, I guess b/c they could tell I didn't feel comfortable being kissed on the lips. We never discussed it. He kisses our daughter hello and good-bye, and I do not. She's seen both sides and she'll make her own choices.
For me, I wouldn't want my man/husband kissing other women. I just wouldn't. B/c, like you, that's really intimate. But if it's something he always does, I wouldn't try to change him.
I wonder why your wife kissed one of your brothers and not the other two. It could have been that they did not appear to be receptive to her and she picked up their signals. That's what happened with my husband's family members, I think.
I guess what I'm saying is just let it go. Accept things the way they are and don't worry about it. | |
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| What are the boundaries of intimacy
Posted: 2/5/2007 11:05:56 AM | | i think what i've seen is the OP needs to learn word usage and spelling. i saw what was meant as naive spelled "native" in one post. and in another what should have been accept was "except". doesn't anyone pay attention to these things anymore? | |
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| What are the boundaries of intimacy
Posted: 2/5/2007 11:13:25 AM | i think what i've seen is the OP needs to learn word usage and spelling. i saw what was meant as naive spelled "native" in one post. and in another what should have been accept was "except". doesn't anyone pay attention to these things anymore?
Sure they do, just as often as people use capital letters at the beginning of their sentence do. | |
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| What are the boundaries of intimacy
Posted: 2/5/2007 2:01:34 PM |
I believe a person’s kiss on the lips should be reserved for their spouse. I may hug a female friend of the family I haven’t seen in years, but not more then that. I think kissing someone and even holding hands to be intimate....
Is it appropriate for a married women to give men big hugs and kiss them on the lips as a sign of a greeting or good-by? Is it appropriate for a married man to give women big hugs and kiss them on the lips as a sign of a greeting or good-by?
There is nothing wrong with hugs. Hugs are a sign of affection, not intimacy.
As far as holding hands - IMO that is reserved for either your SO or children.
As for the kissing... Somebody mentioned different cultures - well, sure, if your spouse was raised in a culture where a kiss on the lips was the norm, there is nothing wrong with it. In this culture, I would say it is a bit much. A kiss on the cheek, though? It's just a little bit more affectionate than a hug.
And, like others, I am of the opinion that if your SO is doing something that makes you uncomfortable, be it this or anything else, you need to discuss it so that either (a) she (or he) discontinues the behaviour or (b) you feel comfortable with the reasons for her (or his) behaviour and can accept it.
sv | |
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| What are the boundaries of intimacy
Posted: 2/5/2007 2:12:03 PM | I am suprised at the lack of etiquette on this issue...
I am a French canadian and in our culture, there is a sort of etiquette that is followed... I believe it is also in European cultures...
1- You kiss on the lips only your spouse, fiancé, or significant other.
2- All other people that you have emotional ties with, you "kiss" on each side of the cheek. The lips DO NOT touch. Hugs are ok... Shaking hands and kissing on each side of the cheeks is also accepted.
That is it... Lips have a lot of nerve endings and to me a very very erotic place. It is reserved for the partner only.
Also, for hygiene reasons, it is safer to kiss on the cheeks in order to avoid getting infected with whatever virus is around... (In this day and age, people with cold sores and all that stuff.) Viruses love to live in damp moist places...
I thought it was a "common sense" practice rather than a cultural issue.
I do not EVER kiss anyone on the lips other than significant other... (usually anyway!  )
Just my two cents...
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