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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/12/2008 5:00:42 PM | I personally do not talk about my finances to my dates. I feel that it is none of their business really, unless things seem to be getting serious.
All they need to know is that I am self-sufficient, no matter HOW I pay my bills, they get paid. I have a roof over my head, my children and I are fed, have clothes and we do end up with money for extra stuff during the month! What else matters?
Yes I have it posted on my profile that I work in an office, my hours and my paycheck amount should NOT matter.
Jobs come and go. My father was steadily employed for 25+ years when they sold the company without telling the employees (until they were on Christmas holidays) that they wouldn't have a job in the new year. NICE, after working steady for all that time, he was unemployed!
Sh!t happens as they say, I'm more interested in "clicking" with someone, than WHERE his income comes from. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/12/2008 7:22:31 PM | I don't know where a person gets 1200 a mth with no dependents. Here in northern ontario,its more like 900. mthly. I do not have a problem with someone on odsp. Its not like they had a choice. Besides, you never know when you may end up on CPP or odsp yourself.  | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/13/2008 5:40:46 AM | goldeelocks:
Ain't that the truth! I certainly never saw it coming. To go from making a very high wage, to being able to retire for a few years and live comfortably off the savings from those times, to now this, has left me slightly stunned, to say the least.
Besides, you never know when you may end up on CPP or odsp yourself.
FWIW, with one child I would qualify for just under $1200....mind you, that is because I live in a townhouse complex that, although newer, allows a certain percentage of their units to be geared-to-income, and upon speaking to management, they assured me my rent would drop when the time comes....I know others may get more, but then, their rents would likely be higher. Nonetheless, the cost of utilities, food and the price of gas remain the same...and I shudder to think of trying to find the money to re-outfit her wardrobe twice a year, as at this age (9), we all know kids won't fit into what they had from last season. Birthdays and Christmas - yikes!
I'm glad I had already registered, and thus pre-paid some things like her swimming and dancing lessons, and for this summer's soccer season, and bought her a new 'big girl' (=20") bicycle for her birthday a couple of months ago. And like I mentioned in my earlier post, so far I've held off on actually applying just yet.
What does disturb me though, is that I have a pre-paid funeral plan and, as well as an RESP for her, both of which I would have to dissolve, as they are considered 'assets'. The funeral thing, I don't know how that's going to work out...I've had that for well over 15 years...ODSP only allows you to have $2500 invested toward that ($2500 - wth? when my grandmother died in 1998, she had the most basic of funerals - the cheapest casket, no showing, no embalming, just straight cremation, and that cost $6300 back then)...and I'm not sure that's even the type of thing one can get a refund on.
And the RESP, now that's a downright crying shame...why they would designate that as an asset, as opposed to wanting to see a young child having an opportunity toward a post-secondary education, in a day and age where you practically have to have your HS diploma to flip burgers, is beyond me. I should add, that every asset you are required to liquidate, you have to prove, dollar for dollar, where that money went...
I am a survivor though, and have overcome far worse than this in my life. I know my biggest problem will lie within myself, adjusting to the situation mentally (a lesson in humility - see inquiring for a refund at a funeral home, and such - and the total deprivation of privacy), not the financials; those are the things that will be my biggest challenge.
Thanks for all the positive feedback, everyone, it is wonderful to know such generosity of spirit abounds. 
hnh
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/13/2008 6:50:15 AM | The biggest thing that scare a lot of people away from others on ODSP..is that if you become serious and move in together or married...the person on ODSP will actully loose some of it. 2 married people ODSP will give 1600 to live.....if one person is working...what they make comes off the other's ODSP. SO if that person is making 1800 dollars a month...they will end up support the person on ODSP.
I do not see anything the matter with people on ODSP...I qualify for it myself....along with Canada Disability ....but I can make more than what they will give me by working just one day a week....and I usually can always manange at least that...even when I was in my worst shape....lol ...But I know a lot are not as lucky as I am that way.
Again I am not knocking it...am just explaining why some might be concerned about dating someone on it.
Beth | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/13/2008 9:36:32 AM |
but I can make more than what they will give me by working just one day a week....and I usually can always manage at least that...even when I was in my worst shape
There are not many employers out there that are going to hire someone that is only able to handle working one day a week.
You must have a good wage to make the same as ODSP by working 4 days a month.
ODSP and the benefits that they supply to recipients depends on their rent or housing costs. Plus there is an amount allotted for basic needs.
For a single person no dependants the amount for basic needs starts at $554 per month. The amount allowed for shelter is $445. These amounts are hardly high enough but I'm sure that it is more that you would be able to make working 4 days a month. This info was taken off the ODSP directives page. If you cant find it and want the link please email me. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/13/2008 10:04:33 AM | Hi GG....very true....most cannot find work that allows them to do it when they are able. I am an accountant....and simply work for myself. As long as I meet the deadlines....people don't much care when I work etc.
At the moment tho...I am feeling very well...and working more than 40 hours a week...but I know that I can fall or move wrong and not be able to work like this.
ODSP is great for the people that need it. I was simply responding to the question...and gave a reponse to why some people are put off to people on ODSP.
Beth | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/13/2008 10:21:44 AM | There certainly are flaws in the ODSP system as well as in the OW system.
Personally, I think that they need to look at helping SOME of their recipients get or further their educations. Of course not all people are able to work regardless of the level of education they have.
So, if you were receiving assistance, how would it make you feel that you were judged based on that fact? This question is for all, not just fawnangel.
My point is, in matters like these, tread carefully, you could miss out on an amazing partner.........who happens to be down on their luck at that time. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/13/2008 11:06:41 AM | GG,
Naturally this is something I'm going to be concerned about as well, will I be looked at differently in the dating world now?
Like you mentioned in your earlier post, I too have never discussed my finances with my dates, even when they were phenomenal finances. To me that sort of thing is strictly on a need-to-know basis, other than that, myob, and I will likely continue to have that outlook. However, should Mr. Wonderful drop into my lap, and the time for disclosure comes, because we've decided to take it to the next level together, will he flee in horror?
I know that is very premature at this moment, as I haven't even met him yet, and if he does run away screaming, he wasn't for me anyway. And if I go back to January and re-read my first post on this, I said that to me it wouldn't matter at all to be with someone in this situation. It just feels different somehow, now that it will be me in that situation.
As far as re-education and rehabilitation are concerned, I won't even be allowed part-time work, and I already have enough certificates, diplomas and licences to paper a small wall. I hardly doubt the government would pay for me to pursue a BA or PHD, especially if I can't do anything with them.
I guess it bears remembering: you never know when it could happen to you, and I'll have to keep myself in check ,by not worrying so much about it.
hnh
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/13/2008 2:46:26 PM | I have dated and lived with people on ODSP....and ended up supporting them because I made more than they say a "couple" can make.
So would I date someone on ODSP....Yes....would and have.
Would I be hurt KNOWING that people would look at me differently if I did in fact have to go on ODSP....of course...most would. Seems GG you have misjudged me....I answered the question from experience of being there.....not judging anyone or anything. But GG..if you put it in an open forum to contact you if you have any questions...you should take restrictions off your profile so people can in fact message you. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/13/2008 7:23:05 PM | Ooops my bad, on the restrictions.
Im not in fact judging anyone, I was just asking a question. I do believe that I stated that it was just that, and not an attack on you in particular. It was food for thought for everyone and anyone. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/14/2008 12:48:57 PM | Some thots for this thread and Hugs & Kisses in particular. I have a Fin'l Planner/Advisor background and therfore 'some' experience with those that can or must "qualify" for OW, ODSP, and/or CPP. I can't guarantee these ideas or techniques will work for you or others but they are worth considering.
1) Regarding your 'Prepaid Funeral Plan', this is actually a 'service' which you have "already purchased" just like clothes or a TV. You can not return or recieve a refund of your purchase price, and selling it a 'third party' is next to impossible not to mention that you would recover a very small portion of what you paid. Since mortality is "100% per person" the system will end up paying the expenses anyways if you don't have resources. Your family/friends are not obliged or required to cover this expense, although at the time of the loss, guilt often causes them to step up & assume the expenses, and regret if soon after.
2) The RESP is a little different. (by the way pretty good foresight and responsible for someone who is looking to 'absue' the system) (sarcasm!) I would approach the issuer of your RESP (bank, insurance co. etc.) and investigate "transferring the responsibility or care" of the RESP to a family member or a trustworthy friend, who are likely to outlive you.  Finally, you are NOT the owner of this asset but merely the 'trustee', and you are not entitled to the funds at your child age of 18. Personally, I would be comfortable not offering this info unless it is specifically asked for or referred to 'precisely' in any forms you must complete. Finally, BEFORE disposing of anything of value that you believe (hope) would be exempt, do two things: request in writing that the agency send you a letter referring to the applicable legislation, and if they provide this to you 'appeal' the decision before you surrender it.
Sorry to be so long on this thread, but if anyone elso has questions please feel free to contact me directly. This 'fish' loves to legitimately help people. Good Luck  | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/14/2008 1:55:11 PM | I appreciate the information, Dave, especially on the pre-paid funeral plan and also to request that anything I am supposed to liquidate be provided in writing, along with the appropriate legislation to back it.
When I adopted my little girl 9 yrs ago, I was still making money hand over fist, yet realized that I was much older than during my initial go around raising a family. I figured the odds of me being around to help her with university or college when she graduates HS, although still likely, would be lesser then what they once were. (I'll be a week shy of 61 when she does graduate HS...). Opening an RESP made total sense, and therefore was in place by the time she was a few months old.
I'd love to be able to transfer those funds to my son, (believe me, the thought crossed my mind since I've found all this out last week), who could then open an RESP for her in his name, but I have to account for how that money was spent. We are expected to use it for our living expenses. With receipts, no less. They (ODSP) do not view me as the 'trustee' of this money, to them it is an asset, plain and simple. My daughter and I are only allowed to have x amount of dollars in total assets between us, the RESP exceeds that, therefore it must be liquidated. They also completely and conveniently forget that doing so will come back to significantly haunt me, come income tax time next year... hmmm, wonder if they'll cover that hefty penalty?
Probably when pigs fly, right along side satan in his ice skates...
Again, I thank you for the advice on requesting I receive a copy of the applicable legislation and appealing it. It wasn't my original intention to mention any particulars of my medical issues on this forum, but one of them is congestive heart disease, decreasing the odds of my being around to help her in later years even more so now - so you can bet your hiney I'm going to fight the RESP issue as far as I can go with it. From what I have been given to understand, whether it will be to any avail seems unlikely, but I won't go down without a fight.
hnh
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/14/2008 2:19:47 PM | I'd like to add that I have had several people email me privately in the last couple of days. While all offered encouragement (thank you - you know who you are), they are also more or less in the same situation, just not posting on it. Some are frustrated with the system, some feel stigmatized, some feel both. All were/are in true need.
So Dave, and anyone else who can be of help of any sort, please feel free to continue to offer advice and/or encouragement on this thread, as believe me, there are a lot of people following it that could use both.
Warmest regards to all
hnh
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/15/2008 11:14:32 AM | | NO ... I already dated that LOSER! | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/15/2008 11:41:32 AM | OMG you really didnt just generalize ALL people that recieve assistance.
How narrow minded can you be? Can you say that in your family and friends, you have never known anyone that has been on assistance?
If not you must have a small circle of people close to you. If so , way to just call a loved one or someone that you care about a LOSER!
Be warned that narrow minded statements like yours go far on this dating site..........they get you practically NOTHING! | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/15/2008 8:29:40 PM | | No I don't think I would, as I believe it is immoral to live off the taxpayer. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/16/2008 9:54:39 AM | Would you date someone who is on ODSP which means Ontario Disability Support Program, if so why ? Also if not why?
Wellllllllllll....... I actually had a child with the person I dated who is on ODSP. (I just realized how this may look to some people...... whatever).
I can't say I would "never" date someone who is on it.
But based on my experiences with my child's father, I'm not seeking such an individual.
I respect those who truly need to be on ODSP but when someone like my ex is abusing the system... well one has a jaded view of the system as a whole. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/22/2008 6:15:25 PM | Don't judge people on ODSP too harshly. Many are there not of their own accord!
I dated a woman who was on it and she struggled and raised three kids on the few pennies they gave her each month.
She was on it because of her disorder - Bi-polar disease. She could be a great and passionate woman one minute and the antichrist the next. It was not her fault however as it was more the medication, so I hold no ill will toward her at all. I actually admire her somewhat still, even though we haven't been together for over four years now.
Don't judge people too fast just beacuse they have some disability or another. Get to know them first and let them tell you their story.
Go from there, then with caution........................... | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/23/2008 11:54:17 AM | Radars: well said! There is many people that really do try hard to get the most out of life even though they dont have a full time or part time job due to their disability. Due to my health issues I can't maintain a full time job but I make the most of my time.
I have always wanted to get into radio broadcasting and right now I am a DJ on the internet. It's just for fun at the moment but I have thought about getting a real job out of it. People say I have the voice for radio lol.
There is some people out there that look at me and others on ODSP and underestimate our abilities.
I really don't think that being on ODSP should be the deal breaker for a relationship.
Accept the person for who they are on the inside  | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:13:15 PM | On another note...I know a person who worked all his life in a factory and it closed down. He had to retire early as his eyesight was failing.......yes because of the job!
Now the factory is closed, he has no where to go except ODSP as he is now declared legally blind (he can only see a very little bit of light in one eye) and him and his wife live megerly in a small house he bought years ago while he was still working.
Someone else said that "people don't live...they exist."
How true. I have done many things for this friend of mine over the years as favours, as I know he has no money to hire anyone to do them.
Once again I say - do not judge too harshly until you get to know the person. ODSP has a stigma that is unjust. Many people are there not of their own choices. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/24/2008 6:32:22 AM | | Sounds to me that someone here has absolutely no compassion for others, and is way too materialistic. Why would someone on disability have no right for a soulmate? We should be refering to the person, this is not about finding how to go on a world criuse. If someone who talks this way ever find a soulmate, they will deserve each other. Very shocking!!! | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/24/2008 8:18:15 AM | | The comment from Meistro1 gives me chills down my spine and not the good kind. The profession mentioned on his profile is not anywhere near as honourable as someone on OW. Talk about living on people’s money. I would date a street person before I would date someone like that. So, people on disability, don't let comments like get to you. Someone on ODSP is on top of my list of heroes. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/24/2008 10:11:29 AM | You know, you folks are the best!
Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I am aware (through private messaging) that there are several people monitoring this thread, but not posting.
The responses that all of you but two, have posted have been wonderfully supportive to everyone in this situation, whether they are openly posting, or quietly sitting on the sidelines.
You have encouraged, given hope, offered advice and said just what some folks needed to hear, to regain some of their lost confidence and dignity. Your compassion speaks volumes about what type of people you truly are , which is when simply put - wonderful.
To the other two, all I can say is, it was probably for the best that I couldn't post again at the time (2 out of 10), but suffice it to say, your words hurt some people deeply. Since when is it cool to kick people when they're down? I actually feel sorrier for you, than the people who suddenly, through no fault of their own, find themselves in a situation as tough as the one we have been discussing.
hnh
edit:
...and fwiw to you cold-hearted sobs, some of us have likely paid more in income tax in a couple of weeks during our careers, than your monthly take home pay.... | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/24/2008 3:28:30 PM | I'm still here, and I see a lot of kindness from certain people on this thread, and it touches me greatly that some people do understand, I find it odd that people jump to such a negative conclusion about ODSP , people are on it, cause they can't work, not cause they don't want too, this is not a choice or option, what employer would hire someone on it anyway, I think not, if a person is not (in societies eyes) 100% perfect, even Mcdonalds wants****all to do with them , no one is going to hire someone who can work maybe 80% of the time, it really bothers me , I can meet some fantastic people who see me and only me, and actually like me
bring up ODSP, instant deal breaker , not sure if its cause of the low amt of money the
Ontario gov gives recipients, most if not all gets raped by high rents anyway, or maybe they
don't like or are afraid of someone disabled, which in many cases, a disability can't be seen
most ODSP'er's I met are actually quite nice caring people, with huge hearts, and everyone of them is struggling to improve their lives, I can on about all this, and I'm actually a bit upset right now, as it constantly pains me, this topic and the lack of respect and shallowness
of many people in the world , whew did I write enough lol I think I did | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/26/2008 9:04:30 AM | Also, wanted to add this :
I've met many people on ODSP/ Welfare, I'm there myself, and practically everyone I meet or met is stuck in a rut literally, there are some people in this world, who simply are not made or built to work, people do not choose to become ill and not work, there are so many nice people out there with little money if I could only find someone disabled myself as a companion, I'd be very happy with a person like that. No matter what happens to people like us poor disabled etc , we are still humans with a yearning to love, care and give affection without regards to income levels, a hug, kiss a hand held walk are still cost free in this world, you don't need lots money to love or be happy with someone, just pisses me off that many people only look for dollar signs in a person, not the person
him or her self, , that's just F*ucked up. then there's the other side of the spectrum the Corporate Welfare ( for those who think the disabled rip off taxpayers) , some examples from where I live in Ontario Canada
Corporate welfare does not create jobs and instead provides unfair competition as the government gets into the business of picking winners and losers
1. The Public Accounts for 2007 show a payment of $55,061,011 to Ford Motor Company of Canada. Ford is cutting shifts in St. Thomas
2. Magna firms have received tens of millions of dollars in government aid while its CEOs, Donald Walker and Siegfried Wolf, each have received over $5 million making them two of Canada's best compensated executives, according to the Globe and Mail's Executive Compensation Report, 2006.
3. Despite a $2 million provincial loan guarantee and a $400,000 grant handed out on the eve of the 2007 election in July, FibraTECH went into receivership. Northern Ontario Business reports the firm refuses to pay workers for their last three weeks of pay.
Also, not to mention the fact that 4300 Ontario gov workers are now in the exclusive taxpayer funded 100 thousand plus club, | |
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